Breast Cancer Now Forum

Morning lovelies - Fairydust my breathlessness and fast heart rate was actually caused by the steroids - it nearly delayed chemo and I had several ecgs (HR was over 140) but then it was decided that it was just what I do with high dose steroids - took a few days to settle post chemo and i still have my moments now and it's scary but looks like is settling. Wishing all who are due surgery soon the best of love and luck - I had surgery before chemo - wle and node clearance of 21 nodes. Am going to bounce over to radiotherapy threads as starting next week but will still check in to see how all September ladies are doing - and have to find out if you get a kitten Fairydust! Cathy CK JoW Geordie Ali and others take good care and hopefully our concrete legs will improve soon - I am less zoomy than even after surgery - guessing it all adds up and gets to us in the end - hope that means the chemo has worked really well - I so don't want to do this again! Xx ... View more

Morning all September ladies- what a long way we have come since September - am reflecting today as it would normally be chemo day so is weird to have finished. I have just returned from our final chemo-moon in Amsterdam - took the ferry to avoid the nofly advice from onc- it was lovely but I did not expect to feel so rough after finishing chemo- I think some of you are the same- my legs and arms are like concrete and the muscles have stiffened so much I struggle to put socks on - what is going on there? They are more sore than on docetaxel - wonder if I should tell someone? Am in a quandary as to whether to rest or exercise to get out of it - managed to walk a distance of 10k in Amsterdam as we only had one day with a guide - but have been in bed since we got back and legs are sore even in bed..... Coming off the ferry we drove straight to hospital for the rads planning ct - I start next week for 19 sessions - I know most of you on rads are doing really well so I hope to as well but I really hate those kind of machines and is in a different busy hospital with over a 3 hour round trip so am kind of dreading it. The good thing is there is a Maggie's there and both I and OH are gradually finding what we need for support for his feelings and my redundancy etc - and an opportunity to meet some other people in the same situation which we have not had in 7 months so that is exciting ali and Fairydust my eyes and ears are knacked too - we should have our own miss world comp - miss chemo world - and I have put on so many chemokilos I look like that tower of bigger to smaller stacking plastic rings my kids had as babies with my wee head and wider middle! It is lovely though how the people who love us don't seem to notice the changes and just accept us - and for all others there are big jumpers and bobble hats! Hope your hip is improving Cathy and that you all have a good day xx PS Fairydust if you like cuddly cats check out pictures of ragdolls on Google - my daughter has 2 kittens and will be breeding a clutch when she is back from India - they are houscats and so pretty - and they will match your carpet haha! ... View more

Wow Cathy your menu made my mouth water - how yummy I hope your do goes really well. Jow my eyes are stingy too is weird how both times recently this has happened after chemo is well finished. I still have concrete legs and am disappointed at lack of progress after the end of chemo - I thought I would be bouncing back but am shattered - hope to rally before chemo-moon 6 which is on Sunday. Still no word of a plan for rads for me - am a bit frustrated as was hoping to know when it was all starting by now - my sister comes from Australia next week and I will be likely to have rads every day of her trip which as it will take us between 3 and 4 hours each day is a real pain - but needs must. I was asked if I wanted to delay for her visit but said no as the same as our chemo discussions on here it feels best to crack on with the treatment and not delay unless absolutely necessary. Is everyone's house feeling bare after Christmas? Was very strange putting away ED presents still wrapped as she is still living it up in India - but had a lovely video call from her today she must have known I was really missing her. Moijan I have tried the new soap - I didnt get the hot oil treatment but thank goodness the soap was not too cinnamon stinky when I rubbed it on my tennis ball head! Trying to rest these daft legs a bit more today and have just watched Girfriends on itvplayer - thought it was great see what you think if you missed it Have a restful night all and take care xx ... View more

Cathy - spaniel hugs are the best - hope your herceptin doesn't give any further problems. You describe the heavy legs perfectly - I managed a long drive today but walking and bending even to get socks on is something else - this is worse than when going through chemo. My fingers and toes are still sore but the nails are still on just very tender. I went to Lush when I was at the shops yesterday and discussed the red soap - it is cinammon based and I dont like cinammon (unless it is in mulled wine!) but my YD wanted to buy it for me so i relented - then when we got to the till it wouldn't scan so the shop assistant gave it to me for nothing and wished me well with treatment - I was nearly in tears what a lovely thing to do - she said her aunt was in chemotherapy for terminal liver cancer - so many people are affected by this awful disease one way or another. I haven't made it as far as putting it on my head yet - I will let you know! My OH says my new few mm of hair is like a tennis ball - i may spray it green to shock him! Have a restful night everyone. x ... View more

Glad you are chilled Fairydust - I made the mistake of having a day at the sales today - one of the challenges of lovely country living is that the shops are a long drive away. I love shopping and especially a day with YD but hadn't reckoned on how shattered I would be - this is 2 days in a row I have been floored with tiredness (after the beach walk yesterday) - I have finished chemo and this is the first time I have felt a real cancer fatigue - this is supposed to be my good week and I have a lot planned including a final chemo-moon at the weekend - am going to be on my knees! Hope you are all pacing yourselves better than I am - take care and have a good night all MrsM x ... View more

Fairydust you are right we do whatever our oncologist says dont we? I suppose they are the only ones with our full clinical picture and the evidence of what works so they will always be tailoring our treatment plans to our own personal histories. My onc told me in Oct that she didnt think I would manage D for 3 rounds which I thought was quite negative and made me determined to see it through - so I did full dose too - it is horrible there are no 2 ways about it but it does end and I think I got better at taking painkillers more regularly to fight the bone pain - I normally reject taking painkillers but realised this time that there are no prizes for being brave! I hope you get on ok and have had a restful day despite your appointment - we went for a bank holiday walk on the beach today - terrible weather which doesnt usually put me off and I only planed for a brisk 30min walk - I was really shocked at how absolutely exhausted I was - I could have quite happily lain down on the wet sand and slept! I have been thinking I was fairly fit despite being overweight but it turns out walking around the kitchen all day is not very fit in real life! My plan has started of 30mins of exercise 5 times a week but it is not going to be pretty.. Hope everyone else is keeping cosy - the weather is yuk in Scotland xx ... View more

Yes Sue you get the full course of injections - as i have posted a few times I had to have ten injections each time which has made me grumpy as it has seemed a lot - the tenth and last injection out of 30 coincided with yesterday which has seemed beautifully significant as I start 2018 on no medication whilst recovering from the final Docetaxel - this last one has been a bugger though and with Christmas being busy maybe that hasn't helped as i feel like i have someone else's legs and arms on today Are you feeling brighter Cathysid? and Ali and Fairydust? Hope everyone is having a good day - I have been like a half shut knife after the excitement of yesterday - but am very happy to have waved goodbye to 2017 xx ... View more

Love to those partying and to those who cant tonight - hope your night has hugs and messages of love from your nearest and dearest - thank you all on here for the sharing the advice and the laughs - it has been a lovely supportive place of safe sharing and has made a difference to dealing with the crap we are all going through. Don't forget to use the get out clause we all have if the socialising is too much - no overdoing it as we have to survive the next few days too - I am lucky enough to be staying in the luxury hotel my husband works at (which also involves peace as he is downstairs) so i can pop down for the bagpipes at midnight and dont have to kiss anybody - perfect! Love to you all be good to yourselves and take care xx ... View more

Fairydust your writing is amazing as it gets to the heart of how it feels to be in this crappy situation- you always hit the spot when you describe how you feel - but you are right it is probably easier to be clear on here and always more difficult with family and friends. You really struck me when you said about others feeling good about themselves - I have been so irritated when my adult family members say it is so hard for them to look after me yet I think it is startlingly easy- just ask me what I need....I am not a difficult patient ! Shi glad you are getting cat cuddles - you need lots of cuddles after your worrying day x no more shoe buying mind! Mishy hope you are getting quality rest from your rads. Have a good night all x x ... View more

Shi and CK what dramatic days you have had - T is a witch isn't she? I have had styes on each eye each t cycle - not this one yet but was later in the round - I didn't need anything to treat and they settled - my eyes were itchy and red with the stye and think that was even in the 'good' week which was very rude of them. Merlot the cat will still love you no matter how blotchy you are at least - my cat loves me today as I have cooked a whole venison leg in the kitchen - apologies to the vegans amongst you but the meat will be good for my blood count and was yummy. Geordie and Cathy hope you are ok after your journeys - as a geordie myself am biased that the north is very therapeutic with its scenery and beaches etc! Jo your banquet sounds superb we will be joining you in spirit - quite a few of us should be emerging through the other side of SE by hogmanay Fairydust and Ali hope you have had a good day- and all others hanging on in there - wondering if others are as exhausted as I am - totally paying for excesses of Christmas but would do it all the same again - in a positive way there has been something almost liberating about having permission to decide who visits and who doesn't and how many social occasions to accept or refuse - maybe we will all emerge from this nightmare better able to stick up for ourselves xx ... View more

Good luck today Ali - hope everyone has a nice day hopefully resting and catching up after overdoing it for the last few. I made it to my parents yesterday for the evening which was lovely and was driven by one of my children as wasn't quite up to driving myself on day 7- was fine being driven but they have a huge jeep thing and I don't think they realised that in the back I was bouncing around over every bump so today I feel like I have spent 3 hours in a washing machine haha- had to take painkillers in the night but as of today have only 5 injections left in total which is fab. Mouth is improving yesterday was probably the worst day for cardboard taste and temp is down too so not having to go Out in the snow in the nightie just yet. The mission in the next few days is to eat all the leftovers in the fridge before the health kick starts next week- my body will go into shock when I stop just eating whatever I fancy but it has to be done as I am huge! One nice thing that happened on Christmas Day was when we were playing a game with cracker hats and my daughter noticed my hair has started to grow back! My head is always covered and neither me nor OH had really spotted that I have about 3mm of dark hair coming through - I was so excited to spot this on Christmas Day - it has coincided with the bulbs coming up in the tubs in the garden which I planted before I started chemo as a friend said by the time these come through you will be sprouting too- it feels like a lovely beacon of better things to come Hope everyone's SE are waning - and Cathy you get down the road more gently than you came north - Geordie fairy dust Jow and CK and loads more ladies I have forgotten thanks again for being there and for the tremendous support xx ... View more

Fairydust hope the codeine has worked - you described the yukky T to a t! My bone pain has been worse this time too and am also at day 6 - feels like someone is unscrewing my legs at the hips and knees and told my OH it was like someone had put a brolly up my behind then opened it - that made his eyes water!! Am very lucky though as between paracetamol and ibuprofen I have managed to have a lovely couple of days totally revolving around food - despite having a very sore throat now I can taste everything and boy have I indulged - healthy food regime starts next week after injections finish on Sunday so am going for it now! I decided if i was going to tax my liver with painkillers I would instead tax it with beer and prosecco so have thoroughly enjoyed being naughty - next year will be on the nice list but this has been one last blowout. CK you describe the whirlwind perfectly of what we have been through and I have what I call emotional incontinence too - especially when thinking about nearest and dearest. For the first time in 25 years I had no children in the house Christmas morning but actually it was perfect to be calmer and build up to the lunch in peace. As others have said coping with family members and their little foibles is harder when we are trying to keep our emotions at bay - I will need to remember this today as going to my parents who are both nearly 90 - I normally take dinner for 10 to this boxing day meal but am not making it today so will have to enjoy being the guest but I feel guilty - and will need big girl pants for the thick skin needed for multigenerational get togethers! Hope everyone is as comfortable as possible today- for me day 7 on T has dodgy temperatures so join me floating outside in nighties to keep cool if that is you too - well done on coping with a challenging Christmas time - you are all such a wonderful support on here and I hope you have a lovely restful day xx ... View more

Jo you are going to have to join me outside floating around in nighties to keep cool! Hope you are ok on the antibs - in contrast to your listening I have been watching Victoria Wood programme on iplayer giving a much needed laugh. Just managed to change the bed but what an effort - think we should have a medal and a t-shirt for completing the most basic things on day 5 haha Loads of love to you all today - I told my friend to get christmassy by text last week and the spellcheck changed it to classy so I basically told one of my best friends to get classy - rude! Take care all - is anyone having prosecco bubbles on the T injections or are you all staying dry till finished? I don't finish them till next Sunday so intend to have the odd small glass if painkiller free- I think... Xx ... View more

Thanks so much Geordie for telling me about the bone phosphonates - sorry everyone is struggling so much this weekend - have had a brutal night here with knee ankle and tummy pain - I don't usually take painkillers for anything much but am going to be swallowing either paracetamol or ibuprofen regularly for the next couple of days as this is pants! I do have codeine if I need it but not sure if this will make me more sleepy. Hope everyone manages some bits of Christmas Eve and that you are not all too sore, hot or sad - thanks for all the virtual hugs and support xx ... View more

Sending love to Cathy CK and others struggling this weekend - this round is so brutal am floored in bed today trying to get in some rest as the next few days will be busier but honestly don't think I'm going to manage festive very well- can we postpone xmas for a week?! Am off jelly too Cathy but enjoying small rice pudding pots and only 40sec in microwave - am on own today and watching all the cooking shows whilst simultaneously not having a clue what to have for lunch! Maybe as well OH at work as day 4 post steroid is classic war with the family day haha - and I still have emotional incontinence at anything kind and soppy - 2 colleagues who have been through treatment sent me flowers in the post yest as they knew was a big deal- so lovely especially since we have mostly all been made redundant. Tis the season of high emotion anyway especially when speaking to my ED who is now in a lovely national park in Nepal - am really missing her but happy for her - I wouldn't be much of a comparison for company. Take care all - hugs all round we have had one hell of a year and it's been lovely to have such support from every single one of you xx ... View more

Geordie your house looks amazing well done so cheery. Onc appointment for me today - 2hr round trip not easy on day 3 but managed and with abs no antisick on board this round as sickness has not been an issue on docetaxel thank goodness. Such a lot to take in from appointment including the add on of a bone strengthening infusion twice a year for the next 3 years - that we didn't know about - and with SEs- and with the 10 years of letrozole feel like am going to be dodging SEs for years- but is better than the option of it returning though obvs. So we are reeling a bit but am happy that no more appointments or visits until rads work up mid Jan so feels Christmas can start albeit worst cycle days this time will be sun mon tues-bah humbug! by NYE I will have rallied and be so excited. Well done on those finished - even if you still have injections to go - am about to start my ten tonight . Cathy hope you continue to improve - hope you are all enjoying a cosy night if not the usual mad Friday social night! Xx ... View more

Yoohoo Jow - well done - would be funny if we were all in the same unit on our steroids - I wonder who would be last up talking - and the Amazon bill would be huge haha. Hope the sleep happens tonight - I haven't minded the first couple of days after D - it's when the injections start that I get grumpy! Just as well as need to do a grocery shop tomorrow and it will be mobbed - I foolishly thought I could get an online delivery - not a single slot now till after Christmas so will have to go in person boo. Good night to all xx ... View more

Cathysid so sorry you are having it rough today - do you need a medicine review re sickness? I have not had any sickness on dox yet - but next week i will be at the same stage as you except you have extra add on treatments - what a shame you need to be flat - you have done so well in other cycles - maybe this is a cumulative thing - hopefully the chemo munching every single last bit of worry in the cells - hope it passes soon though - when do you come north? Be good to yourself and same to all other ladies tonight too - I am on a significant high after finishing today - I hope this good mood lasts for a long time - OH is already worrying about the next phase of rads whereas I am more concerned that I have 3 weeks of chemo yuk onboard to deal with - my mouth has already gone yuk just after a few hours. Wishing you all a good night - for those of you still on steroids like me we can have a chat in the early hours! xx ... View more