Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi RonMich01, first I’m really sorry you’ve found yourself on this site but it’s a huge source of support for both of you. your wife’s situation doesn’t sound too dissimilar to mine. I was diagnosed in December, had three types of cancer in one breast but no lymph node involvement so had a mastectomy and reconstruction done on the same day. No chemo and no radiotherapy but now on letrozole after starting with Tamoxifen. Before my surgery both me and my husband went through the full gammet of emotions but once the surgery was done we were both able to focus on my recovery and approached it together. He has always come to all my appointments and we made sure he saw my scar the same time I did. My scars were, and still are incredible so don’t be afraid of them you’ll be amazed how neat they will be. The drain was a bit of a bother as while it was in sleeping was tough and I couldn’t shower. Hubby helped as and when I needed him to but he knows I’m fiercely independent so he stood back when he knew it was important for me to do stuff myself. The fact that you’re on this forum says a lot about you so I’m sure you’ll be just as supportive of your wife as my husband has been for me. Keep yourself very busy while your wife is in surgery, my husband said those hours waiting were the toughest of the lot and stay strong. Any questions don’t hesitate to ask xx Melanie  ... View more

Hello Esther36, first I’m so sorry to hear your diagnosis and that you find yourself in this forum but it’s a fabulous source of support and there’s always someone there to give you a virtual hug. I’m sending you one right now.   Like you I was diagnosed with two types of cancer in my right breast but in my case both were invasive so I had to have a right sided mastectomy which was done on 7/12. I’ve had immediate reconstruction using implant only and I’m really pleased with the results so far. I also had my sentinel node removed but thankfully the cancer had not spread that far so I don’t need radiotherapy or chemotherapy.   I was a 40E cup and the only issue with using implant only is that they’ve used the largest one and it’s a good B/ possibly C cup. Consequently I’m now going to have a reduction on the good side. The plan is to remove 1.2kg “ish” of tissue and lift the breast so it’s as pert as my new one. I’ll have a new nipple created on my new boob and then a nipple tattoo. This isn’t going to be done for a year so in the meantime I’ve been using a “softee” but will get a prosthesis in March to balance me out.   I made the choice to use implant only as I didn’t want additional scarring from tissue being moved to build my new breast and I would have needed an implant anyway ( they can’t move enough tissue to create an E cup ) so I decided to just go with just the implant.   As I’d had reconstruction I had two abdominal drains, one came out after 4 weeks but the other one only came out last week ( so had been in 61 days ). I’m also still very restricted what I can do to avoid issues with the implant moving while it’s settling and my wound is taking a long time to heal at the t junction.   having said all that I have no regrets, other than having had Cancer !, my prosthetic nipple is being made and I will get it next Tuesday and I’ve seen loads of photos of my consultants work where she has done reductions / lifts to match implant reconstruction and they all look fabulous. I did lots of research before I decided what to do, as you are, and I’m sure you’ll decide what course is the right one for you. Stay strong, keep your chin up and know there is a whole army of us women out here for you to turn to when you need to xx Melanie  ... View more

After 61 days my drain is finally out !   Mags v sorry to do this as a reply but I really can’t get to grips with the new format and wanted to post in our December surgery group. Saw my consultant today and she finally removed my drain. It was still drawing too much fluid really but she was getting concerned I could get an infection, the exit site was quite angry and to be honest I was fed up with it being there. If I get a build up of fluid she’s going to aspirate it using ultrasound but hopefully won’t come to that.   The previous record at the hospital was 6 weeks but I’ve smashed that with my 8 weeks 5 days although it’s a record I’d rather not have !    Appointment tomorrow to get a prosthetic nipple for my reconcstruction /implant and then I have a 13 day break with no appointments - bliss.   Hope all you December ladies are doing ok xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi  Bookishgurl, I had a concern with one of the BCN’s at my hospital. My own BCN is fabulous but this lady is abrupt and actually managed to offend me with her reaction to my reconstruction. I asked to see one of the others and just said that whilst I understood she probably didn’t intend to upset me I felt I would deal with my condition much better without her support so I would prefer not to have any future dealings with her. I did ask them to deliver my feedback to her as whilst I was strong enough to ignore her reaction others might have been devastated.  I don’t know if they told her but I’ve not seen her since. Not an easy situation but you need to make sure everything is done to support you xx Melanie  ... View more

Louise this forum is fabulous because suddenly you have thousands of women who have gone through or are going through exactly what you are. We all have our highs and equally our lows but it’s amazing just knowing you can type out what’s going on for you and someone you don’t know and will probably never meet can connect with you in a way your friends and family can’t. We all have those feelings we can’t express to those closest to us because we try to protect them and also because they will try to rescue you and not really understand what you’re saying. On here we all understand, we’ve mostly all been there and we are all here for you now. im not sure if I will have the reduction on the other side, right now I’d say I won’t but that might be because my surgery is so recent and so raw. When the time comes to make that decision I know who I’ll be talking to and it’s the ladies in this forum. I can’t talk to my family about my concerns about my sex life, the sensations in my nipple or my lopsided appearance but I can talk to the ladies on here. you are being hugged by hundreds of women, especially me. Stay strong, keep your chin up and take care and know there is always someone here for you xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Loulinen, sorry you find yourself on this site and fully understand how you’re feeling. I had my right side mastectomy on 7 Dec and had immediate reconstruction with a silicon implant. I was worried about mine when it was first done as like you it didn’t look how I’d anticipated it would. I could see dips, dents and it looked off centre. I’m now 7 weeks on, I do still have one drain in as it’s still drawing 60ml per day but the shape is much better now it’s settled. I had a lot of strapping and dressings and as these were removed / reduced it settled much better. I also felt the weight of it everytime I moved. Getting up from lying on my back was a very strange sensation and I seemed to walk round “holding” it quite a lot. Again that’s passed and now I can lie on my operation side for short periods and the other side for most of the night.  The challenge I now have is the size difference. I was a 40E cup the implant is 600cl and I’d estimate it’s a good B cup. The plan is to reduce the other side to match, lift it and move the nipple but to be honest I’m not sure I want to put myself through more surgery. For now I’m using a softee to balance me up and will get a prosthetic when my scar is properly healed. youve been through a huge amount, take it easy, stay strong, keep your chin up and allow yourself to heal. The swelling will reduce your muscles will relax again and then you’ll see much better how it looks. Heal swiftly xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Beckett, I think it’s my implant that concerns them if they have to aspirate as they can’t puncture it. Thats good you don’t have to see him for 6 months and fabulous news about your hair. My drain is still in, now been 6 weeks and 2 days and it was still 50ml this morning. It’s showering I miss most, my allergy to waterproof dressings rules that out. I’m sure when I finally get in that shower i’ll Be in there all day 😂 😂 😂 . Great to hear from you, hope the radiotherapy passes uneventfully, take care, stay strong and keep that chin firmly up . You really are getting somewhere now and I for one am chuffed to bits for you xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Duracell, I was told to wear mine 24 hours per day. My op was 6 weeks ago and I still am, it comes off for about an hour each morning while I wash and to change it. Asked my surgeon last week if I could start sleeping without it and she said no I still need it. Best ask your Breast Care Nurse or surgeon as I guess it depends what surgery you’ve had. Stay strong xx Melanie      ... View more

Reddi that’s not a bad idea. I’m sure I’ve now forgotten how to sleep on my side, shower and  dress in anything other than leggings 😂 😂 😂 .    I “suggested” today it should just come out but apparently that would involved having fluid drawn off by a needle guided by ultrasound everyday so I guess it there better option to keep it in.   As you might imagine the exit site is sore and angry so they came up with a new way of coiling it today and taping it down only it was taped so low I couldn’t even get my knickers up 😊 needless to say I’ve “adjusted” the tapes !    Im just resigned to it always being with me now and I am an expert at shifting stuff through it, clearing blockages, air bubbles etc. It’s like having a new hobby 😁 xx Melanie  ... View more

Mags v that’s fabulous news. We definitely mirror each other I saw my consultant today too. Scar nearly healed now so haven’t got to see her for 2 weeks but still have that drain in ! Still drawing 80ml per day and been in now for 40 days - has to be some kind of record.   Your Mastectomy was definitely the right way to go and the annual check ups will keep a close eye.   take care, stay strong and keep your chin up xx Melanie  ... View more

Shazmg, i’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this I’m sure it all feels like the end of your world.   I can’t imagine how you’re feeling but don’t do anything rash. Deal with the emotion first, cry, swear, scream do whatever you have to do to get that emotion out then you can deal with the facts. Talk to him and find out what has really gone on. The ex clearly has her own agenda first she slept with him then let you know. Whatever her agenda is it’s not yours you need to find out if you want this relationship, if he does and if you can both make it work.   You’ve gone through so much together, and no doubt it would have been tougher without his support but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with this if you don’t want to but if you want to save your relationship and he does too don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.   Do you have someone who can support you through this and hold your hand / mop up your tears ? Don’t be on your own unless you have to    you’ve gone through so much you’re stronger than you think, no matter how bleak things seem you will get through this and you have a virtual army of women in this group supporting you with their hugs xx Melanie  ... View more

Yesterday my sister-in-law sent me three long texts about how traumatic it is trying to find a bikini when you have huge boobs. Went on and on about what a trial it is for her. I had my mastectomy 5 weeks ago so just sent back “imagine how challenging it is when you have one boob”. That seems to have shut her up 😂 😂 😂 ... View more

Mags v sorry to hear you’ve been unwell, especially both ends 😁 but really pleased to hear you’re not having any issues with the operation site. My scars are so neat I honestly think they will fade out beautifully. The softie is really weird isn’t it, I can’t work it out at all so haven’t bothered, a baggy shirt is hiding a multitude of sins. Hope the chest infection is well behind you now and the sachets have done their job - it’s the little things 😂 😂 😂 . Take care and stay strong xx Melanie ... View more

Reddi, seeing my surgeon tomorrow too. It will be the first time in 4 weeks she’s seen it as she’s been back to Sudan to visit her family. The bcn’s have seen it a lot but like you I’ll be interested to hear what she has to say and get my full histology report. I know the drain is doing a good job, and drawing off fluid when you have a silicon implant is very difficult but goodness I’m fed up with it now. Hey ho could be a lot worse xx Good luck for tomorrow Melanie  ... View more

Hi Reddi, still got drain number 2 and today it’s gone up from 50ml yesterday to 100ml today so bcn thinks it’s going to be at least another week. hope all you December ladies are doing ok xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Miss Frosty, like the other ladies I’m sending you a massive virtual hug and will be thinking of you tomorrow. Like Essex Girlie I had my mastectomy on 7 December so it’s 4 weeks now. Had to go into hospital at 7:15 and it was a whirlwind from the minute I arrived, by the time the anaesthetist had seen me, the BCN, the surgeon and the nurses doing my obs I barely had time to get my surgical stockings on before I was on my way to surgery. The anaesthetist said to me it’s 08:40 and I’m just going to put a small needle in, next thing I knew he said how are you feeling and I said I’ll be better when it’s done and he said it is done it’s now 2:30. I honestly couldn’t believe it was done. I was then sat up, and happily chatted to the staff all the way back to the ward. My husband and brother couldn’t believe when I came in sat up and chatting. I’ve never had any pain at all in my mastectomy site ( I had an immediate reconstruction with implant ). It feels a bit tight, and a touch of discomfort but no pain at all. My drains were uncomfortable but again no pain. I know it’s easy for me to say don’t worry but honestly you’ll be amazed how well you’ll feel and once it’s done you can start the recovery. Stay strong, keep your chin up, you can do this and you have this massive group of people on this site thinking of you and wishing you well. Take care xx Melanie  ... View more

At last one drain has gone ! 25 days it’s been with me but can’t say I was sorry to see it go. Sadly the 2nd one is still drawing 60ml per day and has to be below 20ml for 2 days before they’ll remove that one but feel much better with one down. It’s the little things........ 😂 😂 😂 ... View more

Great news Mags v hope you have a fabulous night sleep xx Melanie ... View more

Good luck Crochet addict I have everything crossed for you. Stay strong and keep your chin up xx Melanie  ... View more

Mags v and Beckett just wanted to let you both know I’m thinking of you both as you prepare for tomorrow, here’s to a swift recovery for both of you and a much better 2019 for all of us. Stay strong ladies xx Melanie ( p.s. day 23 and still got my drains in, I’m sure they are now a permanent fixture 😂 😂 😂 )  ... View more