Breast Cancer Now Forum

I keep missing messages as I no longer get notifications 😊 Good luck tomorrow Jo, I very much think of us as in it together, so I’ll be thinking of you and hoping it goes well. 💐 . Louise xx ... View more

Hi Jo, Glad to hear you’re at work and have the distraction of something to focus on, and it sounds like you have nice people there too. That must help passing the days till your next surgery.  I said exactly the same about a ‘false’ persona to a friend the other day, she’s very perceptive (and has been through BC with her mum and life long closest friend) and she felt it wasn’t false, but was a very real part of managing and getting on with life. My view is that we we do what we need to do to, to help our mental health, to be ourselves, to adjust and cope, to help our families - that’s real 😊 .  I’m over two weeks post lymph node op and my underarm is also still very painful, wound is okay but deeper inside, so I’m also glad too there’s no going back in there.  You know the op process now, and it’s another step to being ‘clear’, a few more days and the surgical side of things will be behind you. 💐 Lx ... View more

Hi Claudia, From the start everyone, either my BCN or friends who have been through it, said don’t compare your own treatment to others as it differs so much from person to person. To add to that, though I believe care is standardised, I imagine time frames and approach differ to a degree from hospital to hospital and obviously Covid is complicating things too. Similar processes, but in a different order dependant on the individual factors.   I’m trying not to stress but it’s hard isn’t it? The doubts about spread, the delays, all the ‘what ifs’, it all niggles away. Because of all the stages of diagnosis (u/s biopsies + wait, MRI + wait, another u/s needle aspiration + wait, node biopsy + wait, all taking so long, I will be near enough 3 months from initial diagnosis by the time I have my mastectomy, with no other treatment beforehand. That just doesn’t sit well but I have to accept the process. My onc did say he looked/assessed during my node biopsy and felt there was no change in the size of the tumour.  I know I can ask for a referral elsewhere but this will only delay further so not much point and I do like my onc team. It’s just the anxiety and time frames making me doubt everything and you too I imagine. Normal I think.  i hope you can have as relaxed a weekend as possible and I’m sending ‘shrinking’ vibes 😊 and luck too for the best results for you from your MRI on Monday. Share here if you have more worries. Louise. xx ... View more

Morning Jo (and all on thread 😊 ) How are you? I wanted to update as I now have my node results. No sign of spread to lymph nodes and no radiotherapy required. Oncologist did say there is still risk of spread through blood, and I may still need chemo, they will assess that when analysing after mastectomy and decide then along with Oncotype results. If I need chemo then I’ll be prepared. I know I’ll be on tamoxifen anyway as I’m ER+. No radio means I can have immediate recon which I’m happy about. Breast surgeon is currently on leave, but I have an appointment with him on 26th Aug to discuss recon options and my onc said mast op probably 2 weeks or so after that. I’m still very worried about other spread so I don’t feel quite so relieved as I thought I would. I need to focus on this result being a good thing and not the doubt/worry I still have, as no lymph spread is obviously still very positive news. Anyone else have any news or worries to share? ❤️ Louise xx ... View more

Hi Jo, I empathise with feeling down, I’ve been doing pretty well in that regard the last few days, and last night for some reason, just felt really down. Still a bit tired from anaesthetic and meds and it’s only natural I think for the emotions to take over again at times, even when we think we’re doing a bit better. Okay today again though. I have a lovely long weekend coming up with birthdays to distract me, my eldest turns 25 and he’s just got a new job after being out of work through Covid, so I’m really pleased. My son/daughter twins turn 20 also. Maybe a little lower key fun than usual but still nice.  I’m more sore now, 3 and 4 days in, bruising coming out maybe? But it’s not too bad, it’ll be on a different level with the mastectomy I’m sure. Have to get in to ‘rest’ mode and I’m not great at that. I understand your feelings about being low as you had a lot of uncertainties and worries, but what you go on to say all sounds much more positive and I’m really glad to hear this. I’ve phoned my BCN at least 3 or 4 times with my long lists 😊 and she just goes through with me until I’m feeling some reassurance. She can’t always answer everything, but even when I don’t get a definitive answer and I have to wait until I see my onc, I sometimes get a better perspective from talking to her which can help reduce worry in the meantime. But your treatment path/surgeon/isolating news sounds like it’s all really helped give enough reassurance that you can relax a little and have some much needed family time. We’re not far from the coast in Suffolk, used to live a few minutes away but moved to help my husband’s commute, I miss being so close. Enjoy a lovely walk.  I’m still isolating so have a huge coffee ice cream for me ☺️. Louise xx   ... View more

Hi Claudia, I’m glad you got your chemo in..all steps nearer the goal of end of treatment - so much time passes and often delays so I just want to keep things moving along, you’re probably the same.  It’s good to have reassurance about your back. I think we all read too much into any twinges, naturally I think as we’re so anxious. Like Jo I’ve found my BCN helpful at answering queries in between appointments. Try to relax and rest it, maybe some gentle exercises? Best wishes x ... View more

Hi all on our little supportive thread 💐 😊 I meant to update yesterday and got waylaid. SLNB (Mon) went well, pain easily manageable (some goodly drugs). Home the following afternoon, stay only required because of unrelated medical complications. Just a bit out of it for a couple of days because of anaesthetic and no sleep in hospital. A few days post op isolation then I’m freeeeee! My onc is hoping my results will be back for their next MDT, Tues 11th, and get quickly on with next stage depending on results, he believes a negative node result is likely ( 🤞 ) and we can go straight to mastectomy and simultaneous reconstruction (change of plan with a delay for rad if positive), but plastics surgeon will be away on leave so that will delay things a couple of weeks. The man is allowed a holiday I know 🙂 but just all the waiting.... How is everyone else?  Louise x ... View more

Hi Claudia, Never too old for a telling off from your dad 😄 Yes I’m in for SLNB tomorrow, in mid morning and on the afternoon op list.  Louise x ... View more

Thanks Jo, I’m not sleeping well at all at the moment so I’m not expecting to, might be a long night. I don’t feel too anxious though, I think all of us by this stage just want to get on with things.  Thanks for thinking of me, and I’ll update soon. Look after yourself, and the same to everyone on this thread.     ❤️ Louise x ... View more

Things make sense in my head..I don’t necessarily know how they come across 😀 . I do worry too about the timescales..I totally get that. I was diagnosed second week in June and I’m still very much still in diagnostic tests, and we’re August already. It’ll have been 2 full months by the time I have node results and an actual full treatment plan..then the wait for the mastectomy. The slowness of it is painful though my GP tried to be reassuring about it not being critical so I keep that in mind   Gosh, your family have had bad luck with your husband’s diagnosis too. This is where we hang on to the fact that BC is very treatable these days - something that escaped me at first when I was immersed in all the fear and couldn’t even think, and still does t be honest in my darker moments. But it should be our reality and the task in hand is to get you sorted. It’ll be months yes, and it’ll be grim at times, but then it’ll be done and you can get back to your life and family. And thank you for being there for me too, it makes a big difference xx ... View more

I’m a realist so my current thoughts on my situation are on the right. 😉 ... View more

Hi Jo, I think what you have to take from that as the main focus is the positive, the good news. And that is really good!! Just upsetting that it has to be accompanied by another worry, this seems a pattern with BC, it’s never easy is it? But they’ve found it, so they can get it! If you want that reassurance definitely get a second opinion. I’m prepared to do this after my SLNB, especially surrounding the issue of reconstruction at my hospital. It’s my understanding that apart from trials and hospitals/Dr’s using the newest state of the art methods, most BC treatment is fairly standardised, but, I think there will naturally still be some variations in methods of diagnosis and treatment, and Dr preference/opinion between different hospitals and doctors. So, though they say e.g., a lumpectomy and adjuvant treatment is proven to be as effective as a mastectomy, there may be variables, and this is where, reasonably, you need a second opinion on that..and importantly too I think, something like your result, I.e., something not previously found, can mean any confidence you had in that fact is undermined. I think it’s important to have confidence in your team/diagnosis/treatment plan. For you to get through this in the best way possible, physically and mentally you should have that reassurance. If  that makes sense...  I know what you mean about lots of questions..I’m the same, always armed with my notepad. The BC nurses will start to run away from me when I say ..”just a couple of little questions...” ☺️ I feel for you as the isolating is really (sh*t 😉 ) hard. I suppose it has to be looked at that it’s not that long in the great scheme of things..as we are trying to get well to have many more years of life, we hope. But as much as we both logically know that, it doesn’t really make it easier when you’re feeling anxious and cut off from those we love most, at the time we need them most. But we’ll get through it, because we have to.  I’m ready (as I’ll ever be) for Monday. I’m also being made to isolate for a week after, new protocol apparently at my hospital. I‘m having to scrub and wash hair with anti bac wash daily and so on, even change bed sheets daily, is that the norm or do they just want me extra clean? 😬   ... View more

Hi Jo, I think what you have to take from that as the main focus is the positive, the good news. And that is really good!! Upsetting that it has to be accompanied by another worry, this seems a pattern with BC, it’s never easy is it? But they’ve found it, so they can get it! If you want that reassurance definitely get a second opinion. I’m prepared to do this after my SLNB, especially surrounding the issue of reconstruction at my hospital. It’s my understanding that apart from trials and hospitals/Dr’s using the newest state of the art methods, most BC treatment is fairly standardised, but, I think there will naturally still be some variations in methods of diagnosis and treatment, and Dr preference/opinion between different hospitals and doctors. So, though they say e.g., a lumpectomy and adjuvant treatment is proven to be as effective as a mastectomy, there may be variables, and this is where, reasonably, you need a second opinion on that..and importantly too I think, something like your result, I.e., something not previously found, can mean any confidence you had in that fact is undermined. I think it’s important to have confidence in your team/diagnosis/treatment plan. For you to get through this in the best way possible, physically and mentally you should have that reassurance. If that makes sense...  I know what you mean about lots of questions..I’m the same, always armed with my notepad. The BC nurses will start to run away from me when I say ..”just a couple of little questions...” ☺️ I feel for you as the isolating is really (sh*t) hard. I suppose it has to be looked at that it’s not that long in the great scheme of things..as we are trying to get well to have many more years of life, we hope. But as much as we both logically know that, it doesn’t really make it easier when you’re feeling anxious and cut off from those we love most, at the time we need them most. But we’ll get through it, because we have to ❤️   ... View more

That’s good news Claudia. Try to have a restful weekend ahead of Monday. Look after that finger! 😊 👆 xx ... View more

Hi S, Yes to the waiting being almost as hard as diagnosis. I think Covid exacerbates this, as I could distract myself more whilst waiting for surgery/ies, isolating definitely adds a bit more stress into the situation.  I think the practice of having a partner on FaceTime or on speaker would be helpful and supportive for someone who needs it. Anyone missing the supportive presence of their partner should ask for it to be allowed. It’s never been suggested to me but I can’t imagine any of the Drs I’ve seen so far saying no, well I hope they wouldn’t, it’s a very understandable and reasonable request.  My husband would love to be there for me in any way he could, and I appreciate that, but I don’t do this myself because personally I feel okay doing the appointments on my own. By nature I’m a clear thinker and good at processing information even when anxious. I have a long drive to and from the hospital, I find being by myself and putting my favourite music on loud helps to manage my anxiety levels for the ‘big’ appointments.   Everyone is different and we should all do whatever helps us get through. ❤️ 💐 ... View more

Hi Claudia, Thanks. Hope that finger clears up quickly, sounds nasty. That sort of thing hadn’t occurred to me, but thinking about it I imagine there are various things like that that could delay chemo.  I must admit, even if I hadn’t been given such strict isolating rules ahead of my op, I would be so wary of, not just Covid, but catching anything or being unwell which could delay my surgery/ies. They were telling me in an appointment about how they had to stop any flap type reconstructions through the pandemic and have just restarted. A DIEP flap is a very probable option for my reconstruction and if I have good node results they plan an immediate recon...and I’m just thinking, please no second wave and more cancelled surgeries.  Pre ‘cancer life’ I wasn’t at all a worrier, it’s not my nature to stress about things, I just organise my way through life always just ‘dealing’ with things and getting things sorted,  but this is so out of my control, it’s hard to adjust.  I hope you and your family are doing okay ❤️ xx ... View more

Fingers and everything crossed you get the ‘best’ results possible tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you. ❤️   I’m dreading my node results, as I know you are also so aware, so much hinges on such results in regard to the treatment plan, for me it will dictate if I have immediate recon. They take 2 weeks to come back and I know that’s going to feel like forever.  I have to do an extra weeks isolation after the op and I’ve got three of the kids birthdays, eldest and then twins turning 20, just as I finish isolating, so maybe a nice family meal out if I feel comfortable, or at least a very indulgent takeaway and several large gins 😊 .  ... View more

Just reread the detail about your hospital protocol and that does sound reassuring x ... View more

Hi Jo, I somehow missed your message on Sunday, sorry. I usually get a notification.  So glad for you that you’re back with your family, this is hard enough for us even without the enforced isolation. I hope you’re feeling less sore now a few days has passed, but are you doing okay in yourself? Thank you for thinking of me. My SLNB op has been pushed to Mon 3rd, so just the weekend to get through. After a bit of a faff they have allowed me to have my covid and mrsa swabs locally instead of the near 90 mile round trip to the hospital, so that’s good. Doing that tomorrow. I think my hospital are using pretty much exactly the same protocols - I imagine m uch of it is standardised. My husband can’t come in at all even to drop me off, but that’s having treatment Covid style and I’m getting accustomed to it.  Started to tell a few people now the op is around the corner and it’s more real. xx   ... View more