Breast Cancer Now Forum

@TicTok that's great news to hear that your last MRI showed Boris is shrinking and lymph nodes now clear. So pleased for you! Hope tomorrow's chemo goes to plan and things move smoothly for you to the end of chemo xx ... View more

@gardengirl200 sorry, I don't know anything much about vitamin supplements.  Asking your oncologist sounds like the best bet.  I can say, however, that I will be joining you in bringing up the rear in the group run  😂  - am definitely going to dust off those shoes; love the idea of all doing a run together! ... View more

Hello everyone, Sorry to have been so out of touch. I'm not sure where the time goes in this strange BC landscape we are traversing.  I think the chemo fog that I have read about has definitely enveloped me as I have found it harder to concentrate on more than one thing at a time, or for very long! Sounds like we've all been through some really challenging times over the past weeks.  I really hope that for all of you things settle and no more nasty surprises or setbacks in treatment schedules.   I have now reached the end of my chemotherapy and can't quite believe it.  I had my final paclitaxel last week, but couldn't celebrate in any way until I had finished the last of the filgrastim injections (ughhh), which was yesterday.  It's strange, I was so looking forward to this moment - the end of the dreaded chemo, and don't get me wrong, I am sooooo happy to have that behind me, but now it's happened I find myself feeling kind of adrift, almost as if there is nothing to 'hold on to'.  It's like it's been 'chemo-chemo-chemo' and then suddenly nothing - no blood tests, no check-in calls with the oncology team, no follow-up appts, etc.  This and the tsunami of tiredness have made me much more emotional than I have been before now.  Like others of you have mentioned - I've been getting weepy at the drop of hat... However, I've been having a good talk with myself - LOL - and am determined not to let lack of chemo derail me (that would be ironic since chemo-world certainly didn't exactly fill me with joy)!! Next step is radiotherapy. Had my planning scan last week - felt rather like a slab of meat at the butchers  😂 but have to say the doctors were really lovely and set me at ease.  First RT session is on 22nd Sept - I'm only having 5 sessions, so should have finished by end Sept.  I've ordered a bottle of my all time favourite wine in readiness - I haven't drunk alcohol through treatment so i will likely fall off my perch when I do have a drink, but it will be with a big smile on my face! The posts about running are very inspiring - can almost hear the cheering and feel the heart pounding. My running shoes have been winking at me from the back of the cupboard and I think I will give them a knock-kneed wobbly out of breath outing soon.  Like some of you have shared, I have also felt the pounds piling up as eating was either the only time I didn't feel nauseous or the only thing I had energy to do! So getting back out there for longer dog walks and going for a run would be good; I'd like to increase my energy levels and fitness as I feel so terribly unfit at the moment.  It would be good to have a challenge as well.  This is what I love about this forum, through your advice, sharing experiences, and encouragement, I have found inspiration - wonderful! Music has kept me sane during this last push to the end of chemo, and I've started making a playlist of songs that for different reasons resonate with me about this crazy BC experience - I have quite a warped sense of humour so some songs play to that - and I thought I'd share some of the list with you lovely ladies who have helped to keep me sane! * Tightrope - Janelle Monae (how it often felt/feels in treatment... and failing that a great dance tune to get me off the sofa) * Hear My Voice - Celeste (because sometimes having cancer can feel like having no voice) * Who Needs Sleep - Barenaked Ladies (for all the sleepless nights) * Loving The Alien - Bowie (made the list because my husband lovingly calls me his "alien" thanks to the no eyebrows, no hair, no eyelashes  😂 ) *Gonna be Sick - The Do (with lyrics of "I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw up" how could it not be on the list  🤣 ) * Just Face Your Fear - Curtis Harding (says it all...) * Que Vendra - Zax (reminds me that cancer doesn't define me or have to shape my life) * This is The Day - The The (for last chemo day / test results day / end of treatment day) * Brave - Sara Bareilles (for all the words unsaid) * Pink Panther Theme tune - Henry Mancini (because in amongst all the seriousness, a little silliness really helps) * Hang on Little Tomato - Pink Martini (resilience) * Beauty in The World - Macy Gray (despite the s*#! of BC there's still lots to love out there) * Talk To Me - Cavetown (sums up this forum and the support and reassurance I have found here) * Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow - Fleetwood Mac (mantra running thru my head on the worst days - keep looking forward) * A Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield (love the idea of having a pocketful of sunshine to draw on when needed - uplifting song) If anyone has other suggestions, I'd love to hear them to add to the list! In the meantime, I hope you're all doing better than yesterday and running, sofa-surfing, dancing, walking your way closer each day to smashing BC way over the horizon xx     ... View more

Hi @Sammy73 like @Michelle21 said, I find it hard when the oncologist says it's my choice, although I also know that I definitely want a say in my treatment, too. I don't any experience with lymphodema or radiotherapy to the arm area, but I did have a similar situation with my treatment options and those pesky percentages. Like you, I didn't hit the "for definite" %, but I was at the upper end of the next level down, if that makes sense. When my oncologist said it was up to me what treatment protocol to go for, I replied (fairly politely 😂 ) that as he was the expert, in order to make my decision I needed to know which one he would advise me to take and why. He was then a lot clearer to me about what he thought was the best option. I took that info home, mulled it over with my family and then made my decision. I hope you are able to reach your decision confidently. Xx ... View more

@gardengirl200 I can see you skiing down the mountain, wind at your back, slicing thru the snow! And yes, absolutely with you on the needing to feel like I've made the most of my day, to the point that I have discovered new delights and sense of achievement in sweeping the floor! 😂 😂 I have warned my husband not to expect any more such eagerness for cleaning once I've completed my treatment! Sending you strength and peace of mind as you wait for your CT result. Xx ... View more

@TicTok I hope your time away in Suffolk helps to ease some of your "scanxiety" - waiting for results is so hard! But you are down to the last 4, and that's something to grab hold of for sure. I found the 'middle' chemos really tough, like I was going nowhere fast, but since hitting the last 4 mark like you, it has felt more manageable. I hope it does for you, too. Take care xx ... View more

Hello everyone, Lots going on for us all. @gardengirl200 sorry to hear you've had to wait to hear about your scan with another oncologist giving you half news. I agree - either tell me all or nothing!  Sounds like you've got some good distraction ideas and I hope they work for you.  I love podcasts, books, TV, walking my dogs, pottering in the garden, and more recently I was given a 3-month subscription to National Theatre online, which has been amazing! I had a lovely birthday last week. I was lucky it coincided with my "up" weekend in between treatments, so I actually felt well enough to enjoy food and company with my family.  It was just perfect! I had my 2nd paclitaxol earlier this week and the usual aches and pains have descended on me.  But somehow just knowing that I was going to get these pains has helped me deal with them better this time, I think. I feel very tired, but like @Coastal I've got Co-codamol in hand in case I need a break.  I'm a bit reluctant to take them, though, as I know they can cause constipation and then I'd have to take laxatives; and to be honest I'm fed up with always having to take "something".  I find gentle walks, warm showers and rest have helped with the pain, so here's hoping. @Love running your camping trip sounded great and the bear poop story made me chuckle.  I've never been much of a camper, but last summer when it was so hot (not like this summer!), my husband and I slept out in the garden one night and it was just lovely, so who knows, maybe we will go in search of a bear-free camping spot next year when all this is behind me! I hope your immune system holds out and you run on through the halfway milestone in your inspirational manner! A friend of mine sent me a card with this poem, that I thought I'd share as I found it really resonated with me: "So wear your strongest posture now, and see your hardest times as more than just the times you fell but a range of mountains you learned to climb! By Morgan H Nicols I certainly feel that I have been over a mountain range and this forum and the messages you all write have helped me to pick myself up when I feel I am falling. Thank you! Hope you all have the best weekend possible  💐 ... View more

@TicTok I hope tomorrow's treatment goes smoothly for you and you can smash the halfway mark! xx ... View more

@Love running thank you for the inspirational message you wrote on your birthday! I hope your celebration of positivity has carried you on a big 'surfer's dream' wave through this week xx ... View more

@Love running Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of fun and laughter with your family, and that your daughter enjoys her birthday later this week, too. Sending extra energy to top up the steroid 'juice' x ... View more

Hello lovely ladies Sorry not to have posted for a while - it's been for both the right and wrong reasons: on the one hand really enjoying my "up" days at the end of my last EC 😄 , and then crash and burn with my first paclitaxel, which has left me very tired and with painful, aching bones/muscles 😣 .  But I am definitely focusing on the good times - it was lovely to see some very good friends and family, too. And my appetite came back just in time to indulge in a banquet of cooking, which I so enjoyed (love cooking). It also helps to be over the halfway mark - as my friend says "you can look over your shoulder, now".  It's my birthday next weekend, so I'm hoping to feel "up" again and enjoy some quiet celebrations with my family  🤞 🤞 @Michelle21 I'm glad your mother's send-off went as you wished and you were able to write and read her eulogy.  You sound like a very strong person, going through cancer treatment and facing your mother's passing, too.  Sending you big hugs and extra strength for those days when it just feels harder! @Sammy73 oh my goodness, that Covid19 curve-ball is not what you need.  I hope your husband is ok and that you can steer clear of it all.  Having to self-isolate is no fun - my husband got a throat infection a while back and we had to avoid each other for a week - it was just so boring.  I know there are times I really like time on my own, 😂 but when it's forced on you, it's just not the same! @Love running your carpark strip off made me laugh!  Like you, I've lost all shame - life is too short!  Wishing everyone the best day possible and that the next step is better than the last one 🐾 🐾 😎 ... View more

Thanks @Coastal it didn't go too badly. The nurse slowed down the infusion of one of my drugs, and that helped reduce the weird effect it always gives me straight away. And the good thing is that I won't be having that drug again 🙂 Feels good to have reached the halfway mark! 💪🏼 Hope your day is going well x ... View more

@Sammy73 I haven't gone done the wig route, but appreciate everyone's different. Sounds like you've got some good tips there. Like you I preferred hats and head coverings. After sampling different types, my fave has been a snood from Fat Face. They are super soft, come in different colours (all lightly patterned, tho) and I find them not too hot. You can also leave them 'long' so nape doesn't get chilly, or wrap / tie them up. I wear them for work and outside. I realise this is still more obvious than a wig, but it gives me confidence and hides my head stubble 😂 😂 Hope you find what works best for you x ... View more

Hello everyone, Everyone is buzzing in our street at the England footie results.  Passed me right by, until I heard our neighbours shouting for joy! I'm not really into football anyway, but also suspect my mind is dwelling on the fact that tomorrow is chemo-day again. It seems to have come round so quickly!  I know I should be pleased that I'm getting through the sessions, but I do wish the 'good' days went as slowly as the 'bad' days!  Still, I'm doing ok so far I think.  Nearly halfway through my treatment, and I've been lucky to have as many good days as bad days so far.  I'm feeling nervous about the change of chemo - I've been on EC up to now, but will change to Paclitaxel - and the more frequent sessions (every 2 weeks, instead of every 3 weeks). With all the uncertainty that diagnosis & treatment involves, I find myself clutching to the little things that seem "known" and familiar. But, hey ho, I'm sure Paclitaxel will seem like an old friend before too long  😂 @Coastal sounds like we are on similar treatments - I've got my 4th and final EC tomorrow, and then start Paclitaxel.  I hope this cycle for you is less tiring and emotional.  The walking you are doing sounds like a really good antidote and hopefully the rain will ease up a bit.  I love walking with my dogs, but don't enjoy the muddy / wet dog mess at the end of it on these rainy days, so am hoping for drier weather soon! @Sammy73 oh how frustrating for you!  I hope you can do some extra nice things this week to make up for the delay and to help distract you! @Michelle21 what a week ahead of you!  I hope your session today with the psychologist was helpful for you.  It must have been hard to hear that about your Mum.  It sounds like you have some good friends who are looking out for you, and that in your walks you have found a small but significant way of keeping sane despite everything that you are going through.  Extra hugs to you at this time x @Poacher65 I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and sending lots of positive thoughts your way for your "D-Day" appointments.  You've got this! I hope everyone else is doing ok - reading all your messages plays a big part in helping me to stay upbeat.  Your strength, advice, jokes and tears are a big comfort for me and remind me that the ups and downs I experience are not 'weird' or crazy; and I just wanted to say thank you to you all  🤗 🤗 🌻   ... View more

@Love running how has your holiday been? I hope you have had better weather than here in the UK! Do you have any photos of the "Midnight sunshine"? That must be strange but wonderful to see. I think I agree with your children about cauliflower pizza...  I've never tried it, but I don't think it will be high on my list of  "must haves"  😂 Macarons, however, are another thing - mmmmmm, delicious. How did you get on with making them?  They are complicated, I think, to make? Over here the rain has mulched my tiny vegetable patch, but we did manage to 'harvest' 40 peas  😂 😂 They were very tasty, but not nearly enough! I had a cooking fest over the weekend as it was my husband's birthday, and he asked me to make lots of his favourite dishes.  I really enjoyed it as I was in my "up" period, so appetite was back and taste buds in 'normal' mode.  That will change tomorrow as I have chemo again... bleurgh!  Also my 4th and last EC - hurrah! Hope you are doing well x ... View more

Evening everyone, sending lots of hugs and strength to all. It sounds like there have been some really tough days/weeks - it's so hard with all the ups and downs, but as many have said I guess we have to 'go with it'. I know that I seem to have become incredibly good at focusing down on the minute things of life - like do I sit on the sofa or on the armchair; should I drink water or a juice!  😂 I worried about this at first, thinking I was being a blob, but then I decided that if it helped me get through another hour of it all without feeling anxious or scared, then I was all for blobbing!  Not sure if that makes any sense - LOL it's been lovely hearing about the plans to see friends and make trips away.  Inspiring and seeing that beautiful photo of Devon was just a treat - thank you @Bex27 - always wanted to visit there, so now it's firmly on my list.  And Sweden in midsummer, too, @Love running for sure! @Poacher65 , others have said it already, but you definitely don't need to apologise to us for how you are feeling.  If only we could have a magic blanket to protect our loved ones from the worry and pain, right?  My mum died of ovarian cancer some years ago now, and I dreaded telling my dad my diagnosis as I knew it would bring back sad memories for him. And I worry all the time that he is worrying - and on it goes... But I do think there are days when it's ok; when the rollercoaster is on the "up" and the sky is as blue as in the photo that Bex27 sent, and the air feels softer, and then I say to myself; it's ok - today is ok.  I hope your down days start to turn upwards soon  🌻 @TicTok my husband shaved my hair, too, when it started to fall out all over my top. We're still talking - LOL.  I found it weird to see myself in the mirror with no hair, but now I've got used to it.  One less thing to think about and I hope it will feel easier for you soon x @Michelle21 thank you for all your encouraging messages - so inspiring and supportive.  I'm so sorry about your Mum and as others have said, if we can help in any way through this forum - contacts/ links, information, space to vent/share - you know where to find us.  Your Kate Moss story was brilliant - without a doubt you will rock Kate Moss into outer space and, I suspect, possibly the psychologist as well!   Take care everyone and thanks for just being so wonderfully "here" x ... View more

@Love running this made me laugh!!  Rabbits it is - all summer long  😂 How did you get on with the pesto?  It's funny, although my appetite disappears for a lot of the time after chemo, I still quite enjoy cooking and baking.  My husband says I've made the best cakes since being on treatment! I've also not been drinking alcohol since starting chemo - it doesn't really appeal at the moment.  But am looking forward to some celebratory bubbles when this is all over, for sure! How wonderful that you were able to do the camping trip with your family - it sounded like the perfect boost.  I hope the longest day celebrations are fun and you can enjoy every minute! take care x ... View more

Hello Lovely Ladies, A warm welcome to the new joiners - this is such a lovely, supportive group. Even thought I don't write often, it's a comfort knowing this group is here, and there are always lots of good tips and encouragement. I had my 3rd EC this week - every time seems a bit different: this time it hit me hard on the day - felt absolutely bushwhacked. Then day 2 felt surprisingly ok, but the fatigue is back with a bite today. Oh well, all the more reason to take each day as it comes  🌷 Lovely to hear about people's plans for getting a break / holiday. Whitby is on my list! I've decided to take some days off work end of this month before my 4th chemo. Not got any major plans, but hoping to get in a special dog walk and maybe a day by seaside.  🤞 Also looking forward to seeing some friends who will visit on the "good" weekends.  I have to do the injections over 5 days as well. They don't hurt, and are really easy to do.  I was also told to take injection out of fridge 30 mins before using it (not so cold, hurts less). I just don't like self-injecting very much so I think I get wound up more than is strictly necessary  😂 - counting down the 5 days is my mantra and a deep breath at the point of injection - then watching something mindless on Netflix etc - LOL @Love running I've still got lots of lettuce (surprise!), but the radishes I planted are teeny-tiny - taste good, though!  Have you had any of your strawberries yet or still on the virgin mojitos? Hope everyone has a the best weekend possible x ... View more

Oh @Sammy73 that's not emotionally ridiculous at all. That's *bleeping* hard! It must have been rough to have it all brought back like that. Big hugs coming your way and hoping that you will soon be lifted again by the incredible strength that is clearly within you x ... View more

Hi everyone, Hope things are going ok for you all. I've been busy with work and enjoying some a visit from my family for the first time in nearly a year, which was just wonderful. So nice to have conversations in 'real' time! @Love running how exciting that your balcony garden is taking off so well. I was happy this week to be able to eat lettuce from our mini vegetable patch. It felt like a big achievement and it tasted good!  😊 Now to wait and see if we can get some peas. It certainly helps to have the distraction of plants / the garden. Just looking out at the trees is soothing when the days are not going so well. I'm glad things have been easier for you this cycle.  I also found cycle 2 better than the first. Maybe just knowing a bit more what to expect is helpful. I love the idea of a virgin mojito - a good idea for the weekend  🍹 Welcome @Sammy73 how lovely to hear that you have been enjoying your good days. I'm also a walker -love getting out with my 2 dogs when I feel up to it. @Coastal I also get the ache in my bones - for me it comes on mostly the last 2 days of the bone marrow injections.  So far I've been able to keep it to a bearable level with general painkillers, a hot pad, and lots of walking around.   I've continued working through my treatment so far - I take time off when I feel unwell, and when I feel better I work. I'm able to work from home so that makes it so much easier. I wouldn't be working if I still had to go into my work place. I choose to work because I appreciate the distraction it provides me, but I'm also going to take some time off when I have good days so I can do some fun things and treat myself. @TicTok oooo Jaffa cakes! I love them and for some reason had forgotten this key information (chemo brain?).  Already on the shopping list  👍 I hope your acheyness has gone away and that you're feeling ok.  @Linds7oaks I think today was the start of your cycle 4?  I've got fingers and toes crossed for you that this round will be kinder and smoother for you.  You are one round closer to the end and you are doing amazingly.  Sending you hugs and strength  🤗 @Karden how lovely that you were able to get out and see friends and your anniversary celebration sounded great.  I've also started planning to see friends and family more - @Bex27 my consultant told me to use my 'common sense' when deciding to meet people etc. So I figure as long as I'm sensible and don't plan to go to any raves  😂 I should be ok!  It just makes such a difference to my mood to know that I've got something nice planned - just meeting up with a friend or two in the garden/park has really helped lift my spirits. Oh and I also treat myself to a pair of funky leggings for each round of chemo  🤣 I've got my 3rd round of EC next week -  I know the feeling of dread will start to creep in the closer i get, but for now I'm firmly focusing on enjoying my days without pills and needles, enjoying the warmer weather and keeping my mind and body 'distractive' Take care everyone x ... View more