Breast Cancer Now Forum

as selfish as it sounds,from experience ,I do think people only worry if its happening to them personally,put yourself in their shoes,what would you do?Probably carry on with your own life,but offer help if they need it,and being british we always say no, I will be ok,so people just carry on dont they,which is why I dont ask anyone for help,just get on with it,apart from my mum helping,honestly you would not think that I had had bc ,double mastectomy recon,treatment etc,etc,as no one else has acted differently towards me,they even still buy me cigs if I want them,but they have been curious why I have boobs still,have had tram flap,but because people pretend its not happening,they dont know whats happened to you,so when you feel like screaming to people when they bump into you in town,or supermarket,do you know I have had cancer?Unless it happens to them they wont even realise will they? hope this made abit of sense i have lost a best friend since dx which did hurt me,but my comman sense kicked in and just figured she could not deal with it. ... View more

i waited 3 weeks for results of my core biopsy,despite several phone calls,was told would not be given results over the phone,went back was told I had bc had immediate mastectomy then 3 weeks wait to see if it had spread so by the sounds of it ,depends where you are,which is beginning to be the norm.My diagnosise was in scotland which,once I was diagnosed were very good,unlike the care where I am now,in suffolk.by the way I went to the doctors in the jan with pain in my boob'which I had had 6 months.it was march before my mammogram,and end of last week in may til my core biopsy,so they didnt rush,but I didnt give them cause for concern at the time,at least thats what they told me then.All the tests I have had since this I have been given the results on the day,and I have had about 5 different tests since dx and keep asking,am I going to find out today,so dont know if thats the reason or not.whta is that anyway that you had removed? never heard of it.? ... View more

hmmm it is hard,I am lucky enough to have already had 3 children which is enough for me,so not thinking about that side of it,just the long term effects of having them out.I have got a family history,well my mum had dcis which wasnt cancer but would have been if left,my aunt had a lumpectomy and then 5 years of tamoxifen a couple of years ago and 20 odd yr ago my great aunty died of bc but she was 82.I am the only one in my family,and I have a very big family,mum and dad have both got 8 brothers and sisters each and they are all married so got 'millions' of cousins etc but I was the chosen one is what I say and thats why I got full ' blown cancer'.I will keep you posted on what they say to me,supposedly in about 6 weeks time I will get my appointment for genetics(not in scotland now thats why I have to wait for addenbrookes)I just look at it this way too,we r being monitered regularly so hey ho,but its very hard to try to live life without thinking cancer now,that word is forever embedded in my brain.Just wait and see what your results are and then what kind of risk you may be at before you make the deciscion. ... View more

Hi liz,I have recently had an appointment about having my ovaries out with the surgeon.For the last 2 years I have been adamant that I am going to have them out,I am just 40 now,and I was told by the genetic clinic in scotland that it would be for the best if I had them out,but then my results came back and I dont carry the main 2 genes relating to bc,so now he does not think I am at as great a risk as first thought,and told me,your only 40,your symptoms will be a lot worse than having the zoladex,your libido will go,not,it might,he said it will,also if I remember rightly when you have them removed it takes away whatever makes the little bit of testosterone that our body needs??????so now I have been referred to addenbrookes to find out exactly what my risk is,and I am thinking if I am not at high risk I am going to leave them for a while,got another 3 years of zoladex anyway,then I think I would really like to feel 'normal' again for a while,whatever normal is,I have forgot what its like to live without all the probs that this mother brings on. debbi x ... View more

Hi jameva,I had my surgery,the one you want at selly oaks,birmingham,you can get referred wherever you want if you are willing to travel,dr thomas did mine and I am certainly not disabled.go back to your normal gp as it is them that have to refer you i think. ... View more

hi debs, well done you,I think thats great you have recovered so well and so quickly. x x ... View more

hi ally t,I am not tarring everyone with the same brush,and I havnt had a bad experience on fb,I was referring to this site,and I keep saying I am not posting again but then something like your post always makes me.Dont take offence to what I said,this was just my view on maybe it was best to keep people off here private. x I use face book all the time and keep in touch with all my mates that way,no problem with it at all,its this site that naffs me off sometimes. ... View more

well thats what I mean,after some of the discussions on here you may not want them as friends,my profile is only available to friends too,I am just saying be careful who you add,yes it is nice to put faces to names,well it was at first,but am having second thoughts now,and you say there is no personal info on there,but when u get chatting you give info away,if your slightly gullible like me anyway,I dont anymore add anyone that I have not met,well actually I am not that gullible,but I think I have been were this site is concerned. ... View more

debsy, omg,i love roller coasters but as you have prob read 9 months on am still quite uncomfy,maybe we need to do the exercises you do,I went back to work after 9 weeks but could not stand up straight,and even now i am soooo uncomfy when even walking too far,whats your secret? ... View more

melly2,obviously you are so hard hearted thats why you cant see what jules thinks is hurtful,I have never suffered anxiety or depression,god only knows why not,but to jules these comments are hurtful and so is the one calling her post petty,and now I suppose the moderator is gonna close this one too...oh sorry...was that a bit hurtful,dont be so sensitive. x x x one thing this illness has taught me...and being married to raf regiment, is stand up for what you think is right,and thats what I have done tonight,and like a lot of other people,I say it as it is and if you dont like it,sod off. ... View more

here we go again!!!!!!!!!!!!!dont mention facebook,they will delete your posts......ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats what they did to me anyway,think hard about joining the group as I am now thinking maybe its not such a good idea that people off here can see who you are and everything else into your life,I am no longer in the breast buddies group,chose to leave a few days ago,but still have some friends off here as they play word games with me on fb. ... View more

there you go again,getting personal,Who spit there dummy out because no one agrees with them?It isnt about that its about the way they are saying things,please go and look on the message jules has put on the benign page and then read comments again,a lot of them are personally about jules,hey ,I feel for chrissie,I too have had an abusive marriage and now I have had cancer,life is c**p for all of us at some point and I havnt always found this site supportive,even more so when things like this go on,I find it more stressful than a help,there is a definite click going on,on this site,well all stick together,but I think you are singling jules out,I dont care if anyone agrees with me or not or else I would not have put my comments on would I? ... View more

well jules 1964 is not entitled to her opinion without people having digs at her and now she wants to leave the site and has posted on benign page ... View more

i have to put a comment,cant hold back any longer,firstly i am sorry chrissie that you have had a rough time of it lately,but I dont agree with most of the above that this does not belong on chit chat and fun,no its not fun but surely it is chat as hardly ever have I heard anyone mention cancer,just relationship problems and everyone having digs at your ex,and jules1964,this is serious for you ,yes but i am sure half of the things you are saying to people should have been sent in private as this is a cancer help site and not a relationship site.sorry,but like you all keep saying everyone can put their points across and this is mine,you are actually putting people off here who do need cancer support and thats not fair. ... View more

hi all,i am confused,what is the difference between tram and diep, i had hemi tram flap,where they keep all your skin and muscle attached and tunnel it under your skin,so what is diep?And my surgery lasted 12 hours,although I did have right mastectomy at same time then double recon,I did read up about all options but have forgot now and have passed all my books on to someone else. debbi x ... View more

I didnt have to wear a corset either,just advised to buy tummy control pants from marks and spencer,but to be honest they were so uncomfy,I only wore them a few days,when I say that my tummy is still bulging a little,its nothing big and you cant see it in clothes it looks real flat,but it does go hard and soft several times a day,say if I have been sitting down to long with trousers on ,still cant wear jeans,not comfy at all,just buy thin pants,like cargo ones at the minute,or the soft velour ones from primark or wear skirts,but I must admit at the first oppurtunity I put my nighty on. ... View more

I am 9 months after the op and still have swollen tummy some days,it comes and goes,but we r warned of this before op,that u can get some bulging........ ... View more

whats up with fiona philips?oh yes...she is famous,which some people seem to be so bitter about.fame I mean ... View more

think i am going to leave this site,dont like debates anymore,all I know is my cancer has gone and I dont want to sit here thinking oh my...what if it comes back,I have had a double mastectomy and having my ovaries out this summer so how is it going to get me again?i would be extremely unluckyi do sit here and worry that it will come back but I dont want to otherwise I will never get on with my life properly,yes it does change the way you think but as I said above there is nothing else for me to do but grasp the thought that its gone and wont come back,and if some think I am naive then so be it. sorry for my rant x ... View more

I know my cancers gone......... ... View more