Your post struck a cord with me and I feel I know exactly what you're going through as my head was spinning just the same when I got my results in January (surgery after chemo) -Grade 3 Stage 3 -12 out of 15 lymph nodes involved with extracapsular spread and vascular spread. The scariest time imaginable. I was convinced I was about to die.
I've got two little boys -2 and half and 8 months old and they're fantastic and a brilliant husband and family and I don't want to leave anyone yet!
Everyone's posts above are brilliant and so well said, it's so easy to look at stats and I really wanted someone to tell me 'my prognosis' but I discussed this with my psychologist and decided that no one can tell me 'my prognosis' as no one knows!!! No one can say what will happen to 'you'!!! All the stats are based on 5 to 10 years as that is how they measure it, no relation to lifespan at all. All the stats are also based on completely different treatment to the treatment we're all getting as it has changed so much. Herceptin is our best weapon in this fight and we're receiving different chemo to women 10 years ago. Tamoxofen is a brilliant drug too and very well established.
So remember, you are you, your treatment is your treatment and your outcome will depend on loads and loads of things.
Things that have helped me feel a lot more positive are these discussion forums and the fantastically inspriation women writing on it, my psychologist, prozac, reiki, massage, generally spoiling myself, spending too much on handbags and shoes, cuddles with my boys, going out and having good times, red wine and actually doing whatever I want to do and booking loads of holidays when all this hideous treatment is over!!!
Start planning some good time for you -whatever you like, lunch with friends, shopping, massage ..... whatever. Reiki is really really good for me and hynotherapy too for deep relaxation and good visualation. Remember your body is now in shock and I found it helped loads to allieve the anxiety and panic attacks and scary feelings.
Keep in touch -would love to know how you're doing.
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