Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi everyone, Hqve just ad GMT's post about a 2 month recovery time for the recon, and am panicking now as I have agreed to go back to work one month afteR mine which is next Tuesday!!! Will ring my BC nurse today, Ithink. Got back from London last night after a busy three days, but had a lovely time. Seemed to spend a lot of time eating out, so also need to lose a few pounds now. Have just looked in dairy ( diary) though, and realised I am also going for a meal this evening. Hey ho. With regard to wellness, I too have good aNd bad days. On Saturday, the weather in London was so cold, wet and miserable, and I had eaten some dodgy food in a turkish restaurant. I felt very strange all afternoon, with very sore feet and aching bones. I really didn't want my son to see me being so pathetic, so walked too far. ( would have been a doddle this time last year) I was so angry about how crap I felt, that Ideliberately didn t take my Arimidex pill. ( I know.... What a rebel! ) But on Sunday, sun was shining and I had a lot more energy. Son is convinced ( as you are at only 20) that I can Help to control how I feel bY using mind over matter. If only it were that simple eh? What else? My hair is also growing towards the middle aNd I am not keen on the wishy washy grey colour, but am not ready for the hairdresser yet. Too precious to cut any of the length off! Vanns! Love the idea of you being played by Dawn French and i bet she would love to play a PE teacher! Don't forget this is a Richard Curtis film. Not enough time now to post inidividual comments, but as always have enjoyed catching up with you all. Be back soon and warm thoughts to all, especially those of us feeling low or poorly. Sameelee ... View more

Hi Everyone, Have not posted for a while, and have been busy... not sure what with, but I dont seem to have had much time at all this week. Am up at this unearthly hour because I took my meds too late and now have chronic indigestion.. That will teach me! great to hear everyone's news, but my thoughts are with everyone going through bad stuff at the moment. Big M, yours sounds horrible- good to hear that you will be seen earlier, and Little Chick, sorry that you have the balance issues... Wendy too, I hope you feel better soon..... and everyone else..... To update you on where I am now- my rash was in fact a skin infection. When I finally got round to a GP appointment, he put me on antibiotics and really strong steroid cream, so I have the old steroid red flush all over my chest again. I walked past the oncology centre today and it felt very strange to think about all the chemo again. The Arimidex continues to suck the life blood from my tissues, so will be wizened and shrunken by the time I see you all again. (Am also up for a Spring meeting!) I feel like the Cardboard Woman ( a title for my book?) in the mornings and by lunchtime am Lego Lady- the joints move, but not of their own accord! Have also decided to use moisturising wipes instead of hot showers so often. Not liking the crispy skin at all. More than a bit concerned that this is all after only 3 months of taking the damned stuff! Vanns- I think I will be going back to school in January, Help! The person who had agreed to cover my lessons has pulled out, and as my operation is on 4th December, in theory I should be fit enough to work. I've agreed to do a phased return, just GCSE classes, although I will have to organise the practical exams and we might be Oftsteded. Not sure whether I have done the right thing, and feel a bit panicky about going back, but suggested it in a moment of madness. I think you are being sensible. For now! Going up to London to see my son this weekend-meeting up with family for lunch on Saturday and come home on Monday. HAvent seen him for a while, so it will be good to give him a hug! Sarabee, I too am doing the student thing and sleeping for one night on his floor. Might suggest that he has the floor, actually. Margie, have a lovely break, and Pixie, send me some of whatever you are taking! Sarah, I hope you have had a good week- enjoyed meeting up last Friday, but hope you are on your way up. Hilary, keep those hot coals going in the sauna please, and I could really do with a gentle shoulder massage. Have been sitting here for half an hour now and indigestion still not going. Maybe i am having a heart attack. HAd an idea for a screenplay that i thought I would share- the film is to be directed by Richard Curtis, because it will make a shedload of cash for us and for Cancer Research. It will be called 'FORUM" and we are all in it. Think Calendar Girls but without any carefully arranged fruit to hide breasts, ( who needs it?) and of course Julie Walters will play Pixie. You can cast your own characters if you so wish. Any offers to co-write with me? I leave you with that thought and a lump in my oesophagus. Much love to all, Sameelee ... View more

Good news Wendy, and welcome back Vanns!!! You had us all worried. Fingers crossed that the anti biotics do the trick and you 'll soon be out on that golf course again! Had a lovely day with oh for birthday; bit of shopping, free lunch in Brasserrie Blanc because the waiter madE a mistake with our order! And then a film ( Argo) at the screening rooms. My feet are stillseverely stiff all the time, but I try not to think about it. Good to hear that some of us are upbeat, but as has alWays been the case on this damned roller coaster, you never know when the next thing is going to bring you down. One day at a time..... Looking forward to meeting Sarah for a cup of tea tomorrow afternoon. Feel privileged to have made such lovely new friends. Sleep well all, even if some of us need a bit of help along the way, sameelee. Xxx ... View more

Hi everyone, it is a quiet warren at the moment; Isuppose this is inevitable as we all get on with our lives and become busier. I am having a few wobbles about the whole. ' it was a year ago' thing just creeping up on me a bit. Feels like I have lost a year of my life! But i do feel better, apart from the aching bones and dry skin! I had really good intentions about Christmas this year. In a little fantasy, I Woudl be full of joy and delight at having got through the last year, I swore that I Would embrace it and relish the lists, the shopping, the planning etc. In my head I was a Waitrose Woman. Well, that has lasted fivE minutes. Because I am having my op in early December, I thougt I'd make the most of thetime to do my Christmas shopping. Really unlike me as I usually leave it until a few days before. So yesterday I Trawled the shops and then got grumpy at the commercialism of it all. So, looks like it will be last minute shopping again this year. And don't talk to me about television adverts! Or magazine articles on how to cook the perfect Christmas dinner that come out in September!!!! Ok. Rant over. All else is ok- Southpool, make the most of yourlazy day- you clearly deserve it, and good luck with the meeting. Horrible thing to have to do, especially in the current climate. Good news about the rads, Nat, and fingers crossed for pixie for scans. Just off to find a birthday present for OH. Why are men so hard to buy for? Or is it just mine! I am worrying about Vanns still; she has been too quiet and her last post sounded worried. I drafted an email to her, as we now have email addresses, but wondered whether this was too intrusive..... So I didn t actually press send. She will post again when she is ready, but you can't help worrying can you? Love to everyone, Sameelee. X ... View more

Morning everyone, Thank you for all your supportive words in response to my whingeing; I gave myself a good talking to and have been reasonably productive since. I have a date for my surgery- 4th December, so I will be happy to have new, soft boob for Christmas and get rid of the coconut shell. Will be a bit strange to be back to being a. 34 B instead of a 36 C! I was interested to hear you Write about skiN issues, pixie; as I write, I am suffering from a horrible neck rash. I think it has built up over theyears as a result of perfume spraying! I made it worse by using a night cream and now it's got to the stage now where I can't put anything on it at all, and the skin is so tight and sore. Probably time for a GP visit. always try to self- treat with healthy measure of common sense, but the comes a time...... I'm also wondering whether the Arimidex has made me more hyper sensitive. Have been working on jewellery frames, and loved my 3 hour pottery sesh on Friday. I'm making small textured tiles with different glazes that I will mount on glass. And last night we went to see 10 CC locally. ( Would much rather have gone to see ' The Killers, Southpool, without a doubt! )Average age of the audience was 5O, I reckon, but they were really good-all brilliant musicians. By the end of the evening the wole audience was up on zimmer frames, rocking in the aisles. I had forgotten how clever their lyrics were. Enough of me: Christine, stay strong: yes, get those meds sorted! And let's hope it makes a difference. Vanns, let us know how you got on; Southpool, count me in on tHe walk. Will be good to have a fitness goal ofsome kind. Warm thoughts to Nat. Plan some lovely treats to look forward to. Waves to everyone and hope you all have goodweekends. Love, Sameelee. X ... View more

Hi Buns, I can't believe your holiday seems to have gone so quickly Pixie, but really glad it was a success! Who needs leaves? Vanns, try not to worry too much: it is probably nothing, but best to be sure, so good luck with the onc appointment. Be sure to let us know. Gaynor, have a fab holiday; just a change of environment will work wonders, I bet. Am very envious of your VW dress, Southpool; don't have one in my wardrobe, but do covet them, and fuchsia is such a great, confident colour. I bet you lookamazing in it! I seem to be on the BC roller coaster emotionally, again. Having been in a good place over weekend, this week I feel a bit low. Am trying to analyse why, and think it might be that lots of us seem to be getting Back to normal, with work etc, but I can't even bring myself to go there in my head yet. Some days I am fine, and loving thefreedom, but on other days feel isolated and a sense of having no purpose. I also miss my son, who is working really hard and being a very busy 20 year old. Have also been listening to Fado music, after my Lisbon trip, and it's beautiful but a tad melancholy. Maybe it's also age- related; am relatively close to being able to retire, so don't have quite the same enthusiasm for teaching that I once had, but can't afford financially to stop! And three years is a long time in bc world. Think a new direction is called for, but need the energy to go out there and look for it. Dont have a date for my implant surgery yet, either, which is bugging me a bit...... Ok bunnies, I will stop whingeing now: need to do something positive and change the day. Will let you know how it goes!!!! Love to all, quiet ones included. Sameelee x ... View more

Hi Everyone, I also thought the article was really helpful Sarah, glad your OH was up for reading it too! (Thanks to Sara12 for the link.)It sounds like you definitely need to step back from work. We saw Skyfall on Thursday afternoon- great film. I'm not a massive Bond fan, but this was the best of them, for me. Have spent the day pottering about with some lovely music on in the background and feeling quite grateful at the moment. Not exactly sure why, but being tucked up in the warmth with books, newspapers, gadgets, music and good food ( beef stroganoff) is enough. Just for today. Hope the Parents are happy with your arrangements, Hilary, and so glad to hear you are on the up, BigM. Good luck with the last of your rads Sally-Anne, and Pixie, your holiday sounds lovely..... might just go back on Trip Advisor later. Love to Nat, hope you are managing to distract yourself this weekend, and Vanns, I hope Cheltenham's shoe-shops delivered as hoped, despite the horrible weather. May all our bones be fortified. Love to all not mentioned but in my thoughts. Just last week we were coming down from the high of Bunnyfeste! Sameelee xxx ... View more

Hi Hilary, Have PM'd you about my email address being not quite accurate..... Many thanks, Lee x ... View more

Forgot to say hi to Wendy- good luck with the chest expander issue. Gaynor and I compared breasts on Saturday and some special bunnies copped a feel! I think there are only 3 of us with the brick in our chests. Still no date for my implant surgery as yet. Let us know how you get on today. Xxx ... View more

Me too!!! I have been reading all your posts since we came home and definitely feel the same. I thought I was low due to exhaustion after so much walking in Lisbon and then Bunnyfest energy. I think Pixie's right- Saturday was a goal for us all, something to aim for and be well for! And now it is over we need other things to aim for and look forward to. It is all very well to try to live in the moment, but personally I also need stuff to look forward to. I had a minor meltdown this morning as oh watched me hobble to the bathroom, and hearing me say that all my bones ache. Just listening to myself talk about how crap my body still feels really upset me and i found myself crying. It just doesn't stop does it? I felt really good last week while I was away- kept up with all the sight-seeing and gallery visits etc. I almost felt like my old self! This week, I feel so old. My skin has become really sensitive, and I have no energy. I keep having to remind myself that I had my last dose of toxic chemicals on 1st August, and I haven't yet really healed from that either. And now I am taking a horrible drug that is eating away at my bones. Am going to make a GP appt today to see whether it's worth swapping meds from Arimidex to Letrozole....... Just a thought. I also need to get the flu jab. It would be great to plan a meet up with anyone who is over this side of the country! I know Vanns, you are coming to Cheltenham soon, and you are welcome to get in touch, but I am guessing that you are really looking forward to quality shopping/ cafe time with your OH! It is different when you have to consider a partner, cos they need time away from the bc as much as we do. Just PM me ifyou would like to meet up, but totally understand if you don't! Ambarose, we could easily meet up. ( such a coincidence that you also have a strong Cheltenham connection!) I am not surprised you are still feeling iffy about work. I am beginning to dread going back, but can't admit this to anyone, as it feels like I am being defeatist. Gaynor and Maggie, we are also all within meeting distance. We could take pixie's advice and put a date in the diary? Hilary has a list of all our email addresses, so when she gets home hopefully she will pass these on. We can then add addresses, (now that we're happy to have been groomed!) and have a clearer idea of distances. I Have no idea where some of us live! I need to get up now, Buns, and face the day. It helps enormously to know that so many of us are going through the same feelings doesn't it.? Much love to all of you including those of you I haven't yet met! PPixigal glad to hear you are safe and enjoying your trip. Special wave to Nat, as you sounded really sad earlier in the week. Hope you feel better today. Love, Lee X ... View more

Hi Christine, and any other Bunnies who couldn't be there- we know you were there in spirit, and we will certainly meet up again! xxx ... View more

Hello Everyone, You have managed to say everything I wanted to say, between you all; it was indeed a crazy day in so many ways, beginning with coffee at Birmingham New Street with Ambarose. We clocked the crops and said the password in a low deep whisper, spy fashion. A career in MI5 is clearly a future option. Sara12 met us after a few discreet text messages, and on we came, to be met by so many warm hugs in the foyer of the hotel. I just loved seeing how different everyone was from how I had imagined them... just like when you see Shula from The Archers on R4 who sounds like she is 25, but looks about 60. Not that I am suggesting that you all looked older than I imagined, just different! Campo, in my head was a 6ft kaftan-wearing hippie with blonde hair and a deep suntan. And there stood Hilary who is diminutive, fair-skinned, dark-haired and younger than I imagined. ( thank you so much for the fan!). Somehow, magically, Margie looks exactly as she did in my head! Big M is in fact small M , but with a lovely voice (scalp massage is good for the follicles- I do this a lot, sometimes in company. ) Loved the way we gave a round of applause to latecomers! ( especially those who lived so close to the venue, GMT!) And I also loved the way that we had lots in common other than bc. Such a relief, and it was a pleasure to be in your company. Thank you for the laughter. Thank-you to Rachel's toddler for the loan of the percussion. Thank you to someone for the notebooks and the bunny ring-holder now on my dressing-table. Sorry for being so crap at the quiz. Bunny references not my forte. Ask me a question on side effects of chemo..... Many thanks to Pixie and Southpool of course, for being so well organised and thoughtful, and who would have believed how well the day could map out? I reckon I talked for at least 10 hours non stop. Am a bit tired now, I have to say; the train carriage was like a vacuum -sealed sauna for some reason. it was as if they were trying to asphyxiate us all in order to have to carry fewer passsengers, so I staggered off gasping for air and will need to book a flu jab tomorrow as I dread to think what I breathed in. Will love you and leave you now, thank-you all again for such a memorable day. Sameelee x ... View more

Hi Buns, Back from Lisbon now and thinking about tomorrow- lots of posts from you all to catch up on! Pixie, everyone has given good advice- try to STOP doing so much, just for a while. You have had so many issues with all your treatment, and have worked, and done Happy Bags, and organised us all magnificently, you must now take some time to breathe. Your holiday will give you and OH a chance to have some quality time to regroup a bit. I think some of us feel the same about our appearance- it was hard sometimes being away with my best friend:she's very glam and even the passport control man in Lisbon told her that she looked nowhere near her age! He didn't say that to me... and I admit I was a bit miffed. ( I know, it's ridiculous!) I havent worn the wig for ages now, so will be sporting a grey crop that's not a crop, more like a silver smear all over my scalp. Gadget Gal- really empathised with you when I read your post about panicking. I had a bit of a scare while I was away- not to put too fine a point on it, I thought my poo contained blood. (Sorry, but none of us are squeamish are we?) I came out of the loo and didnt want to say anything but then broke down. I was really really frightened that the cancer had spread very fast, the chemo was a complete waste of time, and this was it, crunch time, bowel cancer. My friend was shocked but brilliant- we had a cry together and decided to wait and see if there was some other explanation....and it seems that I am ok now. It was the first time in ages that I felt that kind of panic again and it vividly brought back all that has happened. Anyway, it is wonderful never to be afraid to share stuff. Thanks Bunnies. really looking forward to meeting those of you who are coming to Birmingham and sending lots of love to those who can't be there. Percussion instrument!!!! just off to do a Saisnbury's shop so will look in the " Percussive Instruments" section. See you tomorrow. Very excited. Lee xxx ... View more

Hi Everyone, just off to Heathrow, but needed to share this: I used some depilatory cream on my face, to get rid of my angora beard. It did work, but now have designer angora stubble. All the rage in Portugal, so I hear! Love to all, see you soon! Lee xxx ... View more

Oh Vanns, that's all you need right now. So sorry to hear about your terrier,and not surprised you are so upset! Warm thoughts to you and your OH. Southpool, will pm you about my art work. Lee xxx ... View more

Hi Everyone, Have just been reading guide book for Lisbon and discovered that it is a city of 7 Hills!!! Why did I not suss this simple fact out before I booked it? Just the right place for someone whose feet feel like hot sausages. Never mind, have made a list of all the places/ cafes/ markets that need to be visited.... will be great to get away for a few days... and then Bunnyfest. Can't wait. Glad you have sorted the problem with the rads, Southpool. I don't mind a bit of a wait, but what you had to experience was unacceptable, and without apology, just plain rude! Pixie, have not noticed you mentioning a dolls house before! is this a new hobby, or are you building a town? Is it a present for someone? I would have loved one when I was little but had to make do with my brothers' Meccano sets. They have such beautiful miniature furniture nowadays.... Have fun at your reunion Mary, Hope you have all had a good day, Love Lee x ... View more

Hey Vanns, welcome back. I was convinced you were lying on abeach somewhere, when all the time you were frolicking with a pup, sneezing and weeing. Pixie, am dead impressed with your energy and being mrs organised. When your new career as mighty fundraiser palls, events organising seems a clear path. I will have a badge!!!! Bunny present came today and I would happily receive it myself, so am relieved. So so looking forward to it now. The menu looks yummy. Good choices! And thank- you again for going to so much trouble. Congratulations on being NED, littlechick. Great news! Doubtless we will toast absent bunnies on 27th! Well- done Gadget Gal, on getting through the op. However horrible it is to have the surgery, you now know that it was necessary, and it helps. Did you go for any kind of reconstruction? Welcome back Nat. Looking forward to all your news. Joints still creaking and aching like mad.Also have tooth issue, so will need to book dentist Today. Have been planning for my Lisbon trip this week: guide books out and trying a fewPortuguese words. I love Going somewheRe new. Just really hope that I have enough stamina to do everything. Stuff to do now, so will pop back later, Love to all, have wonderful day, whatever you might be doing. Lee X ... View more

Hi Everyone, Seem to recall Vanns saying that she had booked a holday somewhere exotic, taking advantage of being able to go out of school holiday time......she might be on a beach somewhere! x ... View more

Hi Everyone, Margie, I can understand how you feel, but be assured none of us have found anything you wrote offensive in the slightest. Other bunnies are probably right to suggest it's either an automised pick-up or the comments about hospital errors. I do tend to forget that all our posts are read by people other than us!!!Let us know when bc contact you, but probably best to brush it off. Sorry to hear you are poorly, Wendy, and Pixie, that is fab news about the Happy Bags. Brilliant to be recognised for what you are doing. Thanks for posting the pigeon story: we had the same problem some years ago in our old house... i remember it not being very funny at the time, though, as I'm a bit squeamish about birds. Lovely through binoculars though. Bunneyfest approaches... yes, 11.30 outside ticket office sounds a good idea. My train gets in at 11, so will grab a coffee. Pixie, is it possible to let us know how many of us are going on the 27th.... I seem to remember it was about 15 originally. Has it changed, and how many of us are staying over. Sorry. don't want to give you even more work! it's interesting that some of us are having drugs changes- I am having real issues with my feet and finger joints and generally feel very stiff. I think this is normal on Anastrozole, though. I did google Letrozole and found that it is supposedly a better drug now, but am worried about asking to cahnge, as it would seem there are no easy answers to the joint problems. Like everyone else, I can't help worrying about the fact that it's FIVE years that we have to take these pills! Such a long time to be feeling eighty when I am only 57. I should be peaking now, not sliding headlong into old age. Then.... (there is always a 'then') .... i have to remind myself of the job that these drugs are doing and try not to whinge. We went to see The Last of the Haussmans last night at NT Live. A reminder to myself to get out more, book stuff in advance and live for the moment, stiff joints and all. Love to everyone for continued wonderful support. Had to send my bunnygift back as I ordered it on the internet and it was complete rubbish. Not worth ten pounds of anyone's cash. So am on the hunt again. Have ears, but sadly they are pink and completely over-the top. Will have to glue them to scalp as they don't stay on. be back soon, Love, Lee xxx ... View more

Hi, Maria, A great thread here, full of inspiration and hope, so congratulations. Like Southpool, I'm an April Bunny and am also looking forward to our meet in a few weeks;all thefriends on our thread have been wonderfully supportive throughout. It is lovely that you have continued to keep in touch and a life- affirming testament to the power of on line communities! Love and best wishes to you all, Sameelee3 ... View more