Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello Bunnies. Well, here I am at my house in France, sitting in front of a log fire with underfloor heating on and building up warmth, and it feels just great. We arrived this afternoon to find our 80+ year old next door neighbour clearing leaves etc from outside our house and you just know that in this sleepy little hamlet of just 6 houses nothing changes and all is well. The peace I feel as we drive up the lane to the hamlet is indescribable. Wonderful. Pixie, huge congratulations on your magnificent total so far. Who would have ever believed the happy bags would be so successful .... Well actually all of our warren had faith from the beginning and knew your idea would take off like this. I keep looking at my special bunnies happy bag and thinking what a special person you are and how brilliant the warren is. Quite right to keep Mrs Mojo in reserve if OH is being a strop. Are you familiar with the story of Lysistrata? Sounds like a menopausal potion rather than a Greek drama! I'm sending big doses of healing vibes to everyone feeling down right now. Southpool, yes I too have days when I simply feel flat. No other way to describe it. Generally I am a very upbeat bunny and take the positive side of warren whenever I can, but I have to admit there are times when I feel plain old FLAT and other times when I feel positively bleak. I used to imagine myself in my eighties, an active granny still. Now I find it very hard to project anything forward. oH and I talk about where we might be living, what we might be doing in the years to come and even just three years hence makes me start to wonder if I will still be here. Bleak, bleak thoughts. They shouldnt be allowed, but every so often they sneak their way in and play havoc with the psyche. But I won't dwell on it .... i am so excited at the thought of our Blenheim walk. Really looking forward to it And Southpool, it is a good idea to get the booking in ASAP. Look forward to getting it confirmed And in the diary. I had planned, a few months ago, that I would do a Cancer Research race for life in spring 2012 but I now realise I am unlikely to be up to sufficient fitness by then, so a 10k walk with good bunny friends sounds just right. Vanns, you are nuts thinking about a triathlon! Actually, no you are not nuts at all Because i think it is great to set the bar high but I think maybe 2014 might be a better option - both for your triathlon and my race for life. As for a 26 k or m bike ride ..... It is all I can manage to do 5k on the exercise bike at the gym right now and I think I'm doing well at that. Anyway, 10k at Blenheim sounds perfect for may. when I saw the rads onc last week, he said to reckon at let six months after active treatment ends before starting to feel anything like normal in terms of energy levels. Reassuring to know that - we really do need to give ourselves time. Also discussed anastrazole SEs with him. I've developed joint stiffness and he says it could either be the anastrazole or the taxotere still playing havoc. I asked about the differences between anastrazole and letrozole. He said there is very little difference in overall terms and that if they were to take me off anastrazole it would not be to transfer to letrozole as they are too similar. Exemestane would be the alternative as it has a difference mode of action. BUT, he said, it is far too soon to be considering changing from anastrazole as often the adverse effects such as stiffness in joints often passes after a few months. i also discussed my tight veins with him and he said massage is the best course of action - gentle massage such that you can do for yourself while putting on body lotion or sitting watching tv. I reckon this could be a good occupation for the punkawallahs though. Campo, can you arrange suitable training for them and then book me in for a course? sara12, my thumb nail eventually dropped off - top half of it - on Friday. I was so intrigued to see the thin new nail underneath. as for a march/april get together, I would be happy to help with the practical side of organising - as long as it doesn't involve me doing any adding up (which accountant sunny southpool is very good at anyway) and as long as it doesn't tread on leader Pixie's paws (three toes in front, four in back!!!!) Lee, love the idea of the screenplay. Any help I can give to the script is ready and available .... As long as we target Helen Mirren for my part! So many more comments I want to make - to those feeling blue, to those with specific probs (big m be sure to let us know what happens with your fluid retention), to those making their way back into work whether full time or phased return, to everyone, lots of big bunny hugs. Love you all. And thanks to everyone wishing my happy hols .... MarGie xxxx ... View more

In haste, but wanted to let you know I had my first official discharge from the hospital yesterday!!! I saw the rads onc and he was pleased with everything and said he had no need to see me again so was discharging me. It is just a small step on the way but it feels good! Off to our house in France tomorrow for two weeks - will def be posting while I'm away but if I don't for a little while it will just be because I'm switched off and relaxing. I can't do without my bunny friends though so I will be checking in every day to see what you're saying no matter what. Lots of love to you all. Sorry no personalised messages today - you are all brilliant, wonderful and amazing. MarGie xxx ... View more

PPPS In answer to Pixie's question, i am definitely up for the Blenheim palace walk on may 11th (10k) and will go with the majority vote as to whether we also meet in march/April ... MarGiexx ... View more

PPS - well, it was short by my usual standards!!! Xxx ... View more

Pepihorse, that all sounds awful. Hope you get sorted outsoon. It is all a new and unknown world to me, this business of expanders. I don't really understand how they work. I'm very thankful that I just had a golf ball size lumpectomy and that I don't need any sort of reconstruction. My heart goes out to those of you who do need it Or have gone through it. Pixie, as always you have brought laughter into my day. Thank you to you, mother and auntie maryI'm pleased mrs mojo is back with a vengeance Too. Pperhaps you should let some of us other bunnies have some of your magic potion, or was it all down to the new mattress? Huge congrats on topping £5000 for cancer research. It is brilliant. Hope the bags arrive from china. I was about to place an order for 20 Christmas sacks. If I do this, any idea when you would be able to fulfil the order? Let me know and I'll decide what to do. If ever you are up in notts visiting your son, you must let me know as we could perhaps meet up. Oh, and I'm looking out for my cotton tail. All the talk about threading and other tortures sounds horrific to me. I've never been a particularly hairy person so have never had to resort to such medieval sounding measures as waxing etc. just a quick whip over with a wet razoa lover the legs and underarms has always been enough, but I really don't know want to do that under try at risk armpit. I've bought a lady's have but it is fairly ineffective. Has anyone any experience of epilators that they can give me tips as to whether they are any good and which type works best? Vanns, I'm still chuckling at the 'only straight bit of you' ... Very witty, lovely bunny! i need to keep this post fairly short. Things to do today. will try and post again tomorrow. Suffice to say for now, I'm thinking of you all and sending love and good thoughts. love, marGie xxxx PS just read this throug before sending ... I had already changed some of OH's iPad's funny-isms but have left a few because they make for entertaining reading. Pepihorse , incidentally, came up as pep ignores, but I don't think pep does ignore so I definitely changed that one! Xxx ... View more

Gaynor your pill is in the post this morning! Pleased you enjoyed your holiday and that it did you good. Like you I felt blissfully unaware last Christmas what 2012 had in store. Though I felt my lump 4 days before Christmas I was sure it must be insignificant because I'd been given the all clear on my recall after my November mammogram and told they'd next see me in 3 years. Ignorance can be bliss But reality set in in January when I had ultrasound and then the biopsy. Vanns, thank goodness you've popped your head up again. We've all been so worried. So sorry to hear you have this soreness/infection, and although you are clearly still worried at least you are back in the radar. We have to put our faith in the medics sometimes and go with what they say. Easier said than done, I know. My last appt witmyths onc registrar was similar so I asked when they can say you are clear. He was eventually persuaded to say that 'we would say that you probably have no evidence of disease'. It was like drawing blood from a stone. Great that you have all the other treatments stacked up for feet, arm and head. We will all get straight eventually. Even Pixie!! Pixie, you really do win the prize for unusual ailments. It is so good the scans didn't show anything sinister, but the Hils thingy sounds really debilitating - and we saw how your shoulder was at bunnyfeste So we know how it is affecting you. Keep us up to speed won't you, both on that and on the deep seated infection and on everything else. Pleased the root canal wasn't as bad as expected. Good news about Lorraine Kelly. Southpool, good on you sorting out yesterday. You deserve your fluffy bunny day today. Ambarose, so sorry you are feeling so blue. You know you can let rip on here anytime. We are all there for you and you'll soon be on the up and there will be someone else taking your place in the blue room (Unfortunately for whoever that is). Southpool, m eyebrows are coming back. And I actually managed to use a little mascara on the lashes last weekend. It is the 'you know where' regrowth that is exciting me the most!!! id be very nervous of having Any sort of tattooed brows done or similar. I would be bound to hate them and then be stuck wi them for life. must go and have a bath or shower now - oh is coming home late morning and we are popping in to a Christmas food and gift fair for a few hours, then I have 90 mins of reiki and reflexology to look forward to this afternoon. And I can't wait!! It makes me feel so much better. I feel at the mo as if my energy channels are blocked. No Zumba this week and no gym. Not had the energy after the grandsons weekend and my day out in London o Wednesday. Not surprising I suppose. I need to learn to pace myself, but this weekend we are off into the country tomorrow (dare I say that my oh shoots?) I go with him and walk what I can manage. Then Sunday we are off to Essex to see our second son and his wife and of course toddler grandson too. I love being a granny! lots of love to everyone. Have a restful, enjoyable, peaceful, kind, gentle weekend. MarGie xxxx ... View more

Boing! That's me springing back to life Sarabee!! Wendy - brilliant news. So pleased for you. Teabelly, nice to hear from you - hope the infections go away soon. Any idea what's causing them? Pixie, I'm thinking of you lying in the dentist's chair. Hope it has gone well and that the tooth fairy starts to smile favourably upon you from now on. Any news of MUGA/MIRA results? Nat, well done on finishing rads - and good luck with that conversation about the fazed return to work. Definitely the right thing to do. Southpool, hope your acupuncture helped yesterday and that your day today has gone as smoothly as possible. Horrible having to tell people about redundancies. I only had to do it once or twice, but hated that aspect of management. My grandson, sad to say, seems to have forgotten I was ever a pirate!!! He never sees me in my scarves any more. Both of them kept stroking my head over the weekend and the older (pirate) one caught sight of Minnie the wig on her stand and asked if he could try her on. I think I know where she is going to end her days .... in a certain little boy's dressing up clothes. His latest outfit is a knight's armour. Better than the scary skeleton he had for halloween. Sameelee, in case I don't say it at the time (because we are going away), good luck with your op. It will be good to have it behind you and you should be on the up for Christmas. Christmas shopping - I did 95% of mine online last year and plan to do the same this year - I vowed I wouldn't because it seems so much less personal, but actually I found I was still thinking a lot about each individual as I shopped so I've decided it's the way to go. As for OH presents though - I agree: impossible. Big M your fluid problem sounds horrid. Hope it resolves soon and also that the lymphodoema doesn't worsen - hope none of us gets it badly. Your BC get togethers sound good - as do Libby's. I've not accessed anything like that. I did look online to see if there is anything like the course that Libs is on but can't find anything locally. I'm going to try again though. Not giving up. I do wish Vanns would get in touch .... and Little Chick, we've not heard from you for ages ............. and Christine, how's everything going? I feel we are a close knit little group of friends who really care about one another. It is a wonderful feeling, but how amazing that none of us knew each other less than a year ago - well, little more than half a year ago. We've come such a long way together and I think we all deserve a huge pat on the back, stroke of our ears, tickling of our whiskers. It seems incredible that this weekend brings the start of my journey. November 18th was the date of my first mammogram - the one that led to my recall for the other boob, but nevertheless I feel it was the start of my cancer story. I think others in our group will have started around the same time. December 21st was the date I felt my tumour for the first time so I am looking to Christmas to be a celebration of the end of this traumatic year. I know I still have a way to go to get back to fitness, but I am so determined to get there. My day out in London yesterday, meeting college friends, left me totally whacked but I am trying to learn to listen to my body and to follow a day like that with a day like today when I have done nothing much except finish a book and do some emails. Strength will return to us all in due course and we just have to be patient. Of the group of six of us from college days, I am the 3rd to have breast cancer. The other two were in 2000 and 2002 and both are absolutely fine. It was good to see them yesterday and see how well they both are. Onwards and upwards! That should be our motto. Rachel, my hair seems to be growing like yours - onwards and upwards to the centre, though mine's still a lot shorter than yours was at Bunnyfeste. Lots of love to everyone, whether or not I have mentioned you by name in this post. Keep smiling. Keep being kind and gentle to yourselves. Love, MarGiexxx ... View more

Hi buns Quickie post this time I think. Just waiting for OH to come home for lunch and then we are off 'dahn souff'. He's got business in Surrey tomorrow and I am going into London to meet up with a group of college friends. Forgive me if I've said this before and am repeating myself. I can never remember what I've said to whomthese days. I should have checked back on my last ost to see what I said last time! We've had a fantastic weekend with our grandsons, son and his wife. The two little ones are so entertaining - now 3 and and half and 21 months. They've certainly kept us on our toes but it's been really enjoyable. All quiet now they've gone. Lotrs of bunnies seem to be going to see Skyfall. We went last week too - it is really good so if you've not yet been it is to be recommended. Best Bond film ever I reckon, not that I've seen them all. Lots of talk of itching and rashes - I was given hydrocortisone cream for itching and found it worked for me. I'm stressing about a pain I've got at the moment ... early on in my chemo I developed a pain just below my ribs, around the diahragm on the cancer side. This was the reason for me having a CT scan to check there was nothing else going on. Well, the pain has never really left me - it sems to move around a bit, in a small space, but it is always impossible to tell exactly where it is - whether it is above or below the diaphragm. It's never gone away but is a bit more troublesome again at the moment. I'm sure it's nothing but I sure wish it would go away. Campo, sorry about the chest infection. Hope it's improving. Nat, so pleased to hear you are feeling a bit brighter. Gaynor, hope you've had a good hol (think you are back tomorrow????) I WILL send that sample celecoxib. Just keep forgetting, but I am so interested to see how yours differs from mine. Pixie, mother and auntie continue to entertain us all, even if they do drive you bonkers! Well done with the doll's house. Enjoy the new mattress!!!! Everyone else, too many to mention by name this time, well done those going back to work, sorry for those feeling down. Thinking of you all. VANNS REPORT IN!! Love, margie xxxxx ... View more

Evening Buns. It is quiet in the warren. Hopefully this means bunnies are getting on with life. Give a group wave! special thoughts to Vanns, Nat, Christine - and in fact to everyone. I'm a bit shattered. My oldest son arrived this afternoon with his wife and two sons. he and dil have gone off to have an overnight stay at a two star Michelin restaurant to celebrate their wedding anniversary and we'vhaves a fantastic few hours of quality grandparent time. Wonderful. But exhausting! southpool, I definitely will do a pink ribbon walk. Don't mind which but Blenheim Palace would be favourite, followed by Twickers, but any would be great, whichever the most of us can do. I'll be there. 10 miles rather than 20 for me!!! Any. Sort it!!! Can't wait. It'll be really good. Quality natter time. have a lovely weekend, one and all. hugs. Margiexxxx ... View more

Christine, our posts crossed. I am really sending you as many good vibes as I can My lovely. Xxxx ... View more

Hello bunnies. Pixie, I'm here, all present and correct. Whiskers and paws clean and tidy. Bunny tail fluffed up! Seriously, I don't know where the time has flown to since I last posted a week ago But Never does a day go past though without me thinking lots about my lovely furry friends. Speaking of which, I now have angora cheeks - which bunny was commenting on that before? Still with Pixie, I'm so pleased you enjoyed your hols and also that Mrs Mojo made a timely appearance. Pleased too that you didn't mind me looking where yo were staying. I LOVE google when it's being used for interesting things, not bc related of course. Hope your over-busy week is going ok. Vanns, I've been sending you good vibes all day today. Hope your onc appointment told you what you wanted to hear. Christine, hope you're not feeling so low now. Really interesting to read about the Macmillan course Libby. let us know how it progresses. Libby, I've also got pains shooting through my boob. I'm sure it's the rads still working away. Are you still blue around your nipple? I am. 17 days on from finishing rads I'm still pink, except under the boob which has gone brown. Never been tanned there before!!! A week after rads I developed a burn mark up towards my collarbone, about 2 inches by 1 inch. It's faded a lot now but doesn't it just bring it home to you how aggressive the treatment is. Campo you had me in hysterics with your story about the naughty scruffy dog and your love-starved female dog (can't use the b word as it'll be censored even though its use here would be totally correct!) pleased the in laws are settling. Just need to get you sorted now with a uk house. Southpool, you will look absolutely and utterly gorgeous in your shocking pink dress. I'd love to be able to see you in it. Next bunnyfeste perhaps? Good on those of you getting back to work. I am so pleased that is all history for me. I really feel for those who have to go back but really just don't have the energy or the desire for it. Lee, definitely get that jewellery business up and running! Sarabee get that doggy business sorted. Pixie get your life coaching going. Sending lots of love and good thoughts to everyone. Ooh, pixie, meant to say I will definitely be up for a bunny calendar. Great idea. take care everyone. love, marGie xxxx ... View more

Hi bunnies Two quickies: Gaynor, I reckon I'm on the celecoxib placebo .... mine are also capsules, but they are sealed so you can't pull them apart. I snipped the end off one and a load of cornflour type stuff flew out. I tasted a bit and it tastes of nothing, just cornflour texture. What does the stuff look like in yours? Perhaps we should send each other one in the post so we can compare .... if you think that's a good idea then send me a pm with your address and I'll do the same. Whether it's the placebo or the real thing there is still the huge benefit of 3 monthly checkups with the onc team which wouldn't otherwise be forthcoming |(for me at least). Zumba: I'm suffering today. Not sure if it is because of the zumba yesterday but my feet are killing me. Particularly my right foot which feels as if the first toe, next to the big toe, is broken or very badly bruised, which it's not. When I first started with palmar plantar syndrome I had a similar sensation in the same toe of my left foot which lasted about a week. I don't want to think it's the zumba that's caused it this time. It certainly wasn't the cause previously. When I did zumba about a fortnight ago, I felt the action on my feet sort of spread out the stone-like sensation you get with pp syndrome, so I have been feeling as if I have one large pebble in my sole rather than lots of smaller ones. I'd got used to that and was managing to walk reasonably well but now I am back to limping. I refuse to let the pp syndrome deter me from my determination to get back to being fit. I used to have palmar faciitis a few years ago and am sure that my gym work helped clear it up, hence now trying to ignore the pp syndrome and get on with the gym .... zumba was such an integral part of my life before bc .... I was back in the gym on Tuesday as well .... And now there's a third thing to mention ... I've just been talking to the BCC helpline to ask about immune system post chemo .... we are planning to go and see my middle son and youngest grandson on Sunday (dil is away on business.) Grandson had chicken pox a couple of weeks ago and is now back at nursery, but my son - who had chicken pox really really badly when he was two - went down with it on Saturday. He phoned NHS Direct who said you can get it twice if your immune system is compromised. His was compromised because, while my grandson was infectious, my son got tonsillitis. This meant his immune system was compromised and so he succumbed to chicken pox ....Are you following this????!!!! So, my Q to the helpline was to try and establish how long the immune system stays compromised after chemo and if rads compromise it too. Of course, there is no clear answer. I didn't expect one. But I did establish that rads don't really compromise immunity and as I am feeling generally reasonably well now, albeit still lacking in usual energy levels, my immunity is probably ok. Bottom line is that we'll check how my son is on Saturday and if he has had any new spots from around now until then we will have to call off our visit. Sorry, this post seems to be all about me, me, me. Campo, I'm pleased you are back OK but it all sounds very hectic for you. Hope you manage a quick nip into the spa during all the upheaval. Looking forward to getting photos ... Sara12, I'll pm my email address to you so look out for it. I'll be able to tell you who's who. I took lots of snaps on my mobile but they aren't very good, but if anyone wants some send me your email. There's a good one of Vanns who was obviously the most photogenic of us all!!! Pixie, I googled Captain Lord when you first said that's where you are - looks fantastic. I saw all the gorgeous bedrooms so will now google again and look for your room. Great you are able to keep in touch while away. Good luck to everyone just finishing rads. Good luck to those talking reconstruction with their surgeons - DIEPS and whatever - they sound fearsome (spelling? should it be fiercesome? sounds as if both would be appropriate) - but well worth doing if it is appropriate and right for you. My biggest concern when I had my lumpectomy was that the surgeon conserved my nipple - last thing I said to him before going to sleep and first thing I asked when I woke up!! Luckily he did. Must go now and shower and get dressed. After all, it is heading towards midday! Love and hugs to everyone, especially Nat this weekend. xxxx MarGiexxx ... View more

Bunnies, have you seen that the forum is to be completely rebuilt next year following user questionnaires etc? There is a link at the top of the menu on the left of the forum pages titled Fresh Start for Forum. Let's hope we maintain continuity throughout, but at least we now have started sharing email addresses etc, now we are groomed, so will be able to keep in touch no matter what. xxxx ... View more

Nat - huge hugs to you from me. Margiexx ... View more

Lovely to hear from you again Hyzenthlay. You're right. Bunnyfeste was amazing. Hopefully you'll join us for BF2 next year. Good luck with the rest of your rads. Sarabee, all the best for your meeting with the boss on Friday. Pleased to hear you'll be doing the dog training full time next year and good luck with the in between time raising the funds to get you where you want to be. It sounds as if bunnyfest was a turning point for many bunnies. I am so envious of those of you who have bunnies in your neighbourhood and can arrange mini fests. I have a feeling teabelly and I are in the same neighbourhood, but where are you teabelly? You've gone AWOL again. I don't think there is anyone from bunnyfeste that lives near me. I'd love to have a date in the diary for BF2 in 2013 .... April sounds good to me as it would be the anniversary of us all starting chemo And we could celebrate starting out together. Or someone (was it Vanns?) suggested we should make it as close as poss to the date when Pixie started the thread (march 26, as we have now been reminded thanks to the bunny quiz!) Trouble is for me that is very close to my wedding anniversary (march 31) and we are often away for that. Also in 2013 Easter is the weekend immediately following thread-birth day when some people may be away anyway. Perhaps we could do something later in April? Or is it too soon to be thinking of this? Like others I have been feeling flat since the weekend. I am also feeling ongoing effects from the rads. My boob is more sore now than when I was having the rads and I have stabbing pains in and around my nipple, particularly when I am trying to get comfy in bed. I know this will pass but can't wait for it to do so. I ventured into a Zumba class this morning. Thoroughly enjoyed the music and some of the routines but had to stand out for a fair bit of it. Aside from low energy levels I feel really stiff and unflexible. Again hopefully this will pass soon. Lee let us know if you do change from anastrazole to letrozole. On the question of brand I have been assured by my team that with anastrazole it really doesn't matter which brand you are on nor if the brand is changed. Good job as mine is different every time. Gaynor, I tried snapping a celecoxib in two this morning and it wouldn't break. I'll try cutting it with a knife or scissors tomorrow and will report back on taste!!! Campo how was Cirencester? Are you back in Spain yet? Southpool, I keep picturing you in the train with your fan! Pixie, are things calming down out there now? I keep expecting to see you popping up on the news giving comment on it all. Cant wait to get the pix of bunnyfeste when you are back. To everyone, lots of love and bunny hugs. even if I've not mentioned you, I am thinking of you .... MarGie xxx ... View more

Hello again buns. You know, I wish I could recall what I thought everyone would look like before we met because now I can only visualise everyone in reality. But without doubt not one single bunny looked how I had imagined so I am particularly intrigued that both Vanns and Sameelee imagined me as I am! Pixie, I had tears rolling down my cheeks when I watched the lunch time news today, seeing where the hurricane is due to hit. I was thinking how unfair that it should come just as you and your OH arrive stateside for a much needed, well earned holiday. I was so pleased then to see your quickie post saying you were heading north and hoping to keep ahead of it. You sounded positive about it all and with a sense of adventure that you will have an exciting holiday no matter what. I really hope you do have a brilliant time and, as others have said, keep safe. love to everyone. MarGie xxx ... View more

Hi bunnies Echoing others, what an amazing and EMPOWERING bunch of ladies you all are. I'm sure that counts for others that weren't there too. It has been the most incredible time at bunnyfeste and my mind (simple mind) is still reeling with it all. I still wonder what all the other people at breakfast must have thought about this mad bunch of near bald women plus Libby sitting at a table for four, laughing and chatting at tops of voices about bc, mx, mets etc etc .... And as was said this morning, hopefully they will have thought what a positive group of women enjoying life despite what they have been through. thanks so much to Pixie for all her organisation and to southpool fort assisting in it, and to everyone for making it such a great experience. I hugTuscans (eh? That is supposed to read Huge thanks ...). Try again.... Huge thanks to campo for the fans in place of punkawallahs And thanks to whoever contributed my secret pressie of bunny/Dalmatian puppy mugs and bunny on a heart. i keep thinking of Pix and her OH on their plane together and hope they are having a good flight and that they have a brilliant holiday. Much deserved. Vanns, I think we've definitely all been well and truly groomed .... back soon. Love to everyone. margiexxxx ... View more

Elaine, get well soon. You have to be fit and in fine voice for bunnyfest karaoke. Seriously, hope you are feeling better soon. I am sooooooo much looking forward to Saturday. What a long way we have all come from when our warren was first inhabited back at the end of march. Has this summer been real or are we going to wake up and find it has all been make believe? If only! but we have come through it and have helped one another through it. Saturday is certainly going to be very real and I can't wait!!! right, now to make that percussion instrument .... hugs to all. love, margiexxx ... View more

Hi Sara12 thanks for the info about the nails. It's reassuring. S far it just seems to be my right thumb nail, though I'm sore half way down my left index nail and can't quite tell if something is happening there too. Last Christmas I had beautiful long talons in a gorgeous sparkly red varnish helped along with gelish polish, but still all my own nails. This year .... Mmmmm. No comment. Like you, also like Pixie and probably all of us, I hate the way I look right now. I had to go shopping yesterday because none of my trousers fit comfortably any more. I bought two pairs of M&S stretchy pull ups. Comfort not style is the order of the day right now, as you'll see on Saturday. I do think what the heck when it comes to my bald head though. I got so hot in M&S yesterday, also in John Lewis, that I whipped my woolly hat off and went commando, staring everyone straight in the eye in case they dared to stare back at me. Stupidly, I'm actually more concerned that my baldness might upset other people rather than that it might upset me! Sara your feet sound very much as if you also have palmar plantar, like me, the glass, the weird sensation behind the toes which I think you'll find is probably caused by swelling of the soles, all typical symptoms. off to do some ironing now .... love, Margie xxxx ... View more

Pixie, I echo what everyone else has said. It is a slog, but you will get there and we will be with you every step of the way. I was just thinking yesterday, before I saw your message, that I your journey must seem never ending when you read postings from those of us who have now finished with active treatment, but keep those bunny ears up, wiggle your bunny tail and above all keep smiling. Well, try to anyway. I am sure you will enjoy your holiday comes you get there. What a wonderful time to be going to New England. I am so envious .... Except that I don't 'do' envy. It isn't in my personality mix! Can't wait to hear all about it when you are back. And definitely it will be so much better for you than Lytham St Annes .... Say no more about that particular suggestion except to say your mother obviously cares very much about you even if she does get it so wrong on what would do you good!! Southpool, the mind boggles as to the amount of noise we are likely to make with our percussion instruments! I hope the hotel is well prepared for this raucous bunch of mad bunny ladies who are going to descend upon them this weekend. Hope the room is well out of the way for everyone else's sake. Actually I don't really care if we disturb others .... We deserve this weekend. I will get my thinking cap on and decide whether to go home made or bought. Can anyone tell me what the skin - or flesh - is like underneath finger and toe nails??? I think I am definitely going to lose my thumb nail as it has cracked widthways across the centre and I can't imagine what it is going to feel like .... Maybe it is best that way as maybe the imagining is better than the reality. I've no spots on my scalp .... You watch, they'll all appear on Saturday .... But I have very vry very slow growth. I long for a time when there is no shiny scalp catching the light all the time when I have no hat on. The hairs on my arms and legs seems to be growing quicker! I'm racking my brains on things people have said on recent postings that I wanted to be responding to, but as we have flipped over onto a new page of postings I can't check back without losing everything I have written so, as usual, I send everyone big hugs and can't wait for Saturday. Lots of love, margie xxxx ... View more