Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi Sian Heartfelt sympathies to you. Although I'm still recovering after first tax I am a lot better now. No longer eating sandpaper, food still doesn't taste the same, but I can live with that. Aches and pains still there but liveable with now, Know what you mean about just lying mindless in bed, couldn't read or even hold anythig in my hands just wanted to curl up and hopefully let sleep (with the help of some painfkillers) take me in to oblivion. I had the advantage over you in that with no young children I could go to my bed and let the self-pity take over - sod OH he can look after himself, didn't care if he starved, his problem. And you're not a wimp, as I'm sure others who have suffered with the tax SEs will tell you. It's this not knowing what to do with yourself or what is actually hurting - everything hurts. Can't lie down, can't sit, can't read, can't even think, can't do anything but sit there and feel awful. It might take a few more days but it will get better bit by bit. If you are able, sleep as much as you can even if you have to force yourself, Do you have someone to help you with your son so that you can get as much rest as possible. I hope you do, I doubt very much if I could have got up to look after children, but somehow we manage to do what has to be done. I wish you a speedy recovery, Maggie ... View more

Good evening ladies Well I had my first tax last Tuesday, fine on Wednesday and went down with a bump on Thursday afternoon. I have never felt so ill for years. I had diarrhoea Thursday until Tuesday, sore and aching bones/muscles, if there was a bone/muscle somewhere it hurt, apart from getting up to go to the loo I wasn't out of my bed for 5 days. Didn't feel sick or anything but was taking the domperidone just in case it helped, just felt awful. I think the diarrhoea was more of a stomach problem rather than bowel as my abdomen was quite tender to touch. Didn't eat for about 3 days, was forcing myself to drink. Oh the joys, And yes, even the eyeballs were sore. Just starting to recover now although food still has no taste, Usually all I drink is tea (don't like fizzy drinks and the like) but even tea tastes nasty and have been reduced to drinking coffee, at least I can taste it. I'd try the plonk but don't think I want to risk any reaction. And just to complete my week, OH broke the driver's seat on my car, can't move the seat forward. Put it into Ford and they tell me that there isn't a spare in the whole country - is someone having me on. But on the bright side I got a tax refund which will just about pay for the car seat! Ladies I hope you're all recovering well and as soon as I can focus on all the posts I will see how you all are. Sleep well Maggie ... View more

Hi Jelly Really sorry you've ended up in hospital, hopefully you're being well looked after. Sitting here at this late hour because I can't sleep any longer, been in bed most of the afternoon/evening, aches and pains both legs, feels like a bad dose of flu without the temperature, don't actually feel too bad but I've just got up to get a couple of ibuprofen to see if that will help with the aches. Might just curl up on the sofa and put telly on and see if I can drift off again. There's nothing like the wee small hours of the morning to bring out the wimp and the self-pity! Well I'll say goodnight cos I need to sleep again, hope everyone else is reasonably well and not in too much pain/discomfort. Maggie ... View more

Good evening ladies Well managed to give myself my Neulasta injection tonight - feel so proud of myself. When my elderly neighbour had to start on insulin injections I injected her for the first couple of weeks until she got the confidence to do it herself - I didn't have a problem giving them to her, but then again I didn't feel a thing. This must have taken me about 20 minutes to actually stab the needle in, stabbing oneself is completely different. Anyway it's done now and I'll be able to do it after the next doses of tax. Didn't trust my OH to do it, I've seen him throw darts before! Don't feel anyway bad after the tax, massive bruise on hand as I'm running out of veins, painted fingernails and feeling like a wicked woman, me who was a lifelong nail biter although I did stop biting before last Christmas as I had decided to get myself in order at last and of course in March was when I got my dx, but I didn't go back to nail biting (occasional nibbling perhaps). Should I be painting toenails as well - just hadn't thought of that and I too hate the thought of nails dropping off, makes my stomach do flip-flops. Everything does taste the same - just had an ice-cream and it tasted much the same as the fish I had for dinner, ah well, with my cooking that might not be a bad thing. Hope you're all doing OK and keeping as well as can be expected. This thread has gone very quiet of late, everyone must have settled into a routine and trying to get on withuot too many reminders. Goodnight all, sleep well. Maggie ... View more

Evening ladies Had bloods done today, saw oncologist (yet another diffeerent one) who told me that I would be having one injection the day after docetaxel, she said I could probably do this myself and that the chemo nurse would explain all. I really wish they wouldn't spring things on me as I have a coping strategy and then they throw a spanner in my brain. To those who have had their tax this month - any problems with nasty SEs? I would look through May and June threads but I can't be bothered to search through all these pages of latest posts as I've had a busy day. Went to hospital saw oncologist, was there about 30 min, hospital really warm so when I left I sat outside and (whisper it) had a fag!. Phone rang while I was sitting there and it was another doctor asking if I could come back for more bloods - it was no big deal as this was a doctor who had asked me to take part in a clinical study (not a trial) to see if they could figure out why some people have horrendous SEs and others are minimal. Anyway went back and was there for another 90 min, everything was fine until she checked my heart rate which was a bit high - told me I was going nowhere until she spoke to the oncologist and possibly have an ECG, yeh right. Oncologist said it was OK so I managed to escape. Got home, done some ironing (it's starting to greet me at the door) then delight of the day I had a dental appointment. Yippee, got my crown fixed at last - this is the one the anaesthetist accidentally knocked out during surgery (it was loose anyway and on my to do list) but that's been two months with a gap in my bottom teeth. Had had to cancel two appointments with dentist because of chemo and this was a cancellation he had - perfect day, day before chemo taking steroids, on a high and full of energy. Came home, made dinner, done some more ironing about to take daughter back to her flat and I'm not tired, but it's been a very productive day. Goodnight ladies, sleep well. I really look forward to sleeping (sad person) as when I get to sleep, there is very little will wake me, no pains, no SEs, forget all troubles and hopefully wake up ready to face what the day can throw at me. I'm rambling again, blame it on the steroids. Goodnight Maggie ... View more

Hi all Daysy, I know what you mean about a smell - I can smell it off my sheets and occasionally get whiffs around the house (especially in the loo) - it's not a particularly unpleasant smell to me but I can smell something (with me it's a kind of hospital/medicine type smell) - like you I splash the perfume on generously in case others find it offensive! See oncologist tomorrow (sooper) and then start tax on Tuesday (so looking forward to that!). Keep well ladies. Maggie ... View more

Helen, congratulations on your good news. You're not the only person who has cause to complain about hospital letters Problem is when the letter is typed and signed up, it goes to the post room. What happens after that is anybody's guess. I've had hospital appointment letters arrive days after the actual appointment date and some that never arrive, I've even had letters arrive with no postage and I have to go to the local sorting office to pick it up as the postman is not allowed to collect the underpaid postage! Best of luck for the future and hope you never need to find yourself here again. Maggie ... View more

Hi ladies I wish I had been told something/anything from the start. Referred to breast clinic because of inverted nipple. Saw doctor at clinic who prodded and poked, had mammogram a week later, something there but ‘not thought to be serious’ (their words not mine, I still look at this letter and wonder what happened). Had US and biopsy a month later (why hurry it’s not serious!). Back a week later for results of biopsy and SLAP, hi Mrs xx You have breast cancer. No lead in, nothing. Then surgeon went on to state facts, I won’t call it a discussion as I’m sure I said nothing that made any sense probably just nodded. BCN was in the room as well and after surgeon had finished her speech about possible/probable treatments available the BCN took me in to a room where she handed me all the BCC booklets. I think she tried to explain stage etc. but my brain was in no state to figure out what she was on about, I have had mastectomy (no recon), mid-way through chemo and the last time I saw/spoke to my BCN was when they took the dressings off (mid-June), at which time she handed me a comfie which might fit I don‘t know when/if I have surgical follow-up (I assume they have one), know nothing about possible prosthesis, ie when /if I can have a fitting for same, probably other things I know nothing about, etc. I have phoned on a couple of occasions and got no response, so won‘t bother her again, I'll just go with the flow. OK, it could be me, I’m a private person, can be quite impassive in public, maybe because I didn’t break down at the news gave her the wrong signals about how I really felt. ... View more

Hi Giselle As I said earlier I had mastectomy end of May with 18 nodes removed and fortunately I don't have a problem with lymphoedema so can't comment on that. I made sure I did all the exercises to keep my arm mobile and hopefully help prevent lymphoedema. I was in hospital overnight after mx and went home following day with drains in place. Drains were removed a week later and I didn't set foot over the front door for that week, although I could move around the house quite easily, make tea, dinners, shower, etc. Once drains were removed I was out for a short walk every day, even if it was only to the local shops, just such a relief to get out. Dressings were removed a week after that and I went for a short drive the day after that (with small cushion tucked under my seatbelt strap). I was probably a wee bit wary of driving as my arm was a bit stiff but just wanted to see how painful or otherwise it was, I took my OH with me just in case it was too much, but I had no problem. Must admit I had been practising 'positive driving' (no crossing arms going round corners, tut tut) for a couple of weeks before surgery so maybe that helped. I was going out as soon as my drains were gone, couldn't stay out for more than a couple of hours though, body needs to rest after any operation. Apart from having to have chemo at the moment (cramping my style) life is back in the old routine, although I probaby let OH do a bit more than I used to (good exercise for him). Realised there's more to life than keeping the kitchen floor clean! Good luck with whatever decision you make and hope all goes well. Maggie ... View more

Afternoon ladies Lesley - sorry to hear you're in hospital again, you're having a really miserable time of it but hope they let you out soon. I am feeling a little bit queasy at the moment, about to start on the domperidone to see if it helps. Haven't felt bad since last fec although extremely tired but again that could be due to high sugar level. Right now I could drink Harry under the table as I am so thirsty. Keep going ladies, nearly everyone half way through chemo Take care all Maggie ... View more

Hi Giselle I also consider myself a young 65 and I had a mastectomy and ANC end of May this year. I considered all family commitments, duration of operation and recovery time. I decided against reconstruction, although I was assured by the hospital (umpteen times) that I could have recon done at any time in the future should I change my mind. I assume your hospital has told you much the same. Mastectomy was surprisingly painless with no problems. This can only be personal decision after weighing up all the odds and commitments and what feels right for you. Sorry no help on that. Good luck with making your decision. Take care Maggie ... View more

Hi Smudge and Jax Thanks for the info about injections - I was really just curious as to why. Reckon my WBC recovers quite quickly as it's only dropped from an original 8.9 (before chemo) to 6.2 after first to 7,4 after second. Thick Scottish blood (possibly just thick!). I am borderline diabetic and for some reason after last chemo I thought I should check my urinary sugar level - it's way off the scale, might speak to the practice nurse about this. I would check my blood sugar but I've decided I'm not stabbing myself with any more needles I'll forego that pleasure. This high sugar level is possibly why I'm so thirsty even though I'm drinking tea. Thanks for answering my question ladies. Maggie ... View more

Hi Jellytot I have just finished my last FEC and start Tax on 11th September. Just curious as to why you're having injections after the Tax - honestly I'm not jealous that you're getting this but just wondered if this is standard practice cos nobody mentioned this to me. I have to take dexamethasone for 3 days (day before, day of tax and day after). Does this serve the same purpose - anyone out there know. Sorry to hear you’re suffering from heartburn, I didn’t get the full heartburn only bad acid reflux and I just ate a bit of cheese to shove it down, mind you the gaviscon might have helped as well. Gadget-gal - that’s a really neat trick with the black veins. I certainly have all different colours of veins, I’ve got some that are decidedly going dark blue, red ones, and pink ones, and of course because no one is trying to find a vein I even have some a natural colour. Cxoach K, hope the antibiotics are keeping gremlins away and that you’re feeling not too bad with SEs. Everythingisrose - My daughter is 30 and I know if she lost her hair she would feel like you and would try and not set foot outside the door until it grew back, so you have my full sympathy here, doesn‘t help I know. I’ve still got eyebrows, and eyelashes (had to ask my daughter about the eyelashes as I can’t see how they are without my glasses on!). I can feel them but I’m sure they’re a lot thinner, I had lovely long curly eyelashes, family trait, hey ho, hopefully they will grow back the same. Some body hair gone, but as I could never see the hair on my arms without holding arms up to the light, won’t see difference in appearance, I was frequently accused of shaving my arms anyway, always denied, just very fair and short. I’m rambling now, and not tired, must be the steroids, going to go to bed and try and sleep, never slept much last night. Went shopping with daughter today, dragged me round half of Harrow Shopping Centre. To those I haven’t mentioned I wish you well with few SEs. Sleep well all. Maggie Maggie ... View more

Evening ladies Well that's my 3rd and final fec over. Wasn't bad apart from the nurse having to root around for a viable vein. Couple of stab wounds that didn't work but she did get one in the end. Nurse thinks I may be better off having a line put in for the last 3 sessions. I said I would see how my veins are over the next 3 weeks and if I don't think they have improved I will speak to oncologist (he'll say no I know that - he's only a boy who probably has never had anyone trying to find a vein in HIS arm). But as the last 3 sessions are docetaxel and not so hard on the veins they might well recover enough, ever the optimist! I have to look on the bright side of life otherwise living with Mr Doom (OH) and Miss Despair (daughter) would be a nightmare. Well just finished dinner so am off to try and find my pills and get them down. We'll see what the next few days brings in the way of SEs but this time if I feel any way iffy I will remember to take the domperidone,. Good night all and may Hypnos and Morpheus be kind to all of us. Maggie ... View more

Morning ladies I'm due my last fec on Tuesday (hallelujah) and I'll be half way through (YeeHah). Been feeling fine apart from the small glitch about a week after 2nd. Only problem I have at the moment is my lower arm is very tender to touch. The veins on the outside of my wrist are very noticeably red, a bit inflamed possibly and hand slightly puffy. Had to walk back from the garage this morning (car in for service) I could really feel the veins in my arm pulling, and that is only with the natural swing of my arms as I walk - I don't walk fast never have, I'm more of a stroller and as it's a fair walk from the garage I probably noticed it more. I have been feeling the veins tight since my last fec but thought this would go. Been doing some stretching exercises on my arm to try and help. Anyone else had this problem? Hope you're all keeping as well as can be expected. Maggie ... View more

Hi Spookymoo Good to see you've had lots of replies. I had no problem with my mastectomy. Done on a Tuesday, back home on Wednesday. I didn't go for reconstruction, I'm 65 (although still think I'm a young thing) and didn't think the possible extra pain and discomfort, longer op, longer time in hospital was worth a boob at my age but that was a personal choice, surgeon did tell me that if I changed my mind about reconstruction then this could be done at any time so I can still change my mind. Again there are lots of younger women on the forum who have had/having reconstruction have a gander through the threads and you will find lots of good stories and a few where things haven't gone so well. My mastectomy with node clearance (15 of 18 nodes with cells) was end of May and apart from going back to hospital to have my drains removed a week later, then back to have dressings removed another week later have had no problem. Wound has healed well. First week was the most uncomfortable because of the drains, had to sleep on my back propped up by pillows, I slept in the spare bed for a couple of weeks as didn't fancy OH elbowing me or possibly catching the tubes. Only took painkillers for a couple of days after surgery because they told me 'don't wait for the pain, just take them before it starts'. I always forgot to take them and wasn't in pain so just stopped. I really can't say much more about the surgery, was relatively painless for me - only problem I had was the anesthetist accidentally knocked out one of my crowns and I swallowed it - real pain as I still haven't had it fixed yet, had to cancel two appointments to have it fixed because it clashed with chemo but it's still on my 'to do' list. Hope you're taking care of yourself Maggie ... View more

Hi Spookymoo Sorry you find yourself here but must say you have been keeping the hospital busy these last few months There is a thread for women starting chemo in August, some have already had surgery, some not, but they are all on chemo and will probably have rads then tamoxifen, not necessarily in that order (usual routine for bc I think). I have already had mastectomy, which was surprisingly painless, have my last fec chemo next week, then on to Tax 3weeks later. Have a read through the July and August threads and post your fears and worries on there and I'm sure you will find all the help and information you need. Take care. Maggie ... View more

Hi ladies Sorry can't resist putting in my tuppence worth. I am 65 and the needs and aspirations I have now are completely different to those I had in my 30s/40s. Had I been diagnosed in my 30s I would have been absolutely devastated. My own daughter is 30 and it would break my heart if she was diagnosed at this young age. Possibly gone would be the chance of having children, a partner and she would always be looking over her shoulder in case there is a recurrence. My own mother was in her 30s when she was diagnosed and had a mastectomy so I know something of which I speak - I don't remember my mother any other way than with one breast, but as I got older and understood she told me that living with the constant worry about recurrence was a nightmare mainly because of worry about her kids. I want to live to see grandchildren and even see them grow up but know that my own daughter is an adult now and can take care of herself. When you have young children they are usually your first priority and if you're sick who will look after them. If you don't have chilldren then as I say there is a slight possibility that the chance might be gone. Younger women need to know that there are others out there who can help not only with the emotions but with the practicalities of living with bc. Sorry about the soapbox. Maggie ... View more