Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello there Nymeria! Thinking about you today - it's not been an easy week for you with all those anniversaries. Sorry your OH hasn't been able to go with you today. I bet he's been thinking about you though! Take care of yourself! Much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Deed, I'm sorry I can't give you any advice or comment from my own perspective, cos I've not had reconstruction, but we were posting at the same time this last year, and I know what huge problems you've had. Firstly, you aren't ungrateful at all Deed! After all you've been through, you're bound to be keeping a really careful eye on your implant - I'd be just the same!! As I say, I've no personal experience of implants, so can't reassure you on that score, but I just wanted to say - could you have a lot of swelling at the moment around the area of your "normal" soft breast, and could that be why the implant is sitting so high up? I think I've read on other people's threads that the implant seem to be quite high at first. I hope others will be along really soon with their words and reassurance for you, so that you'll not continue to worry about if the implant drops into the rest of your breast. Sorry I can't help more. I know it's the obvious thing to say, but can you phone your bcn? Mind you, I know there's been times when I've just wanted friendly hugs and answers from people on here, rather than the slightly more "official" comments from a bcn. I don't know if that's the same for you, but in any case I really hope people are along soon on here for you. With much love, Deed! Shelley xxx ... View more

I'll join you two ladies in your minority group - just been across to look at the website, and fraid I'm not particularly impressed. I know dealing with things in a light-hearted way can get a message across, and I sincerely hope it does so, cos the more bc incidences caught early enough the better, but if I had youngsters, I'd rather them be coming on this site, than on Coppafeel Boobettes. But hey, I'm 50yrs young, n that website's for a much younger audience! Each to their own I guess - I'd be interested in anyone's reasons why they think it's a good website. With much love, Shelley ... View more

Hello Sue, Oh, I'm so glad you've had good news - brilliant! You take care, and lots of love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello! I've had a much better day today - can't believe how much I cried yesterday, and I guess there'll still be further times when I feel like that again, but I've just made the most of feeling so much happier today. I've had a lovely chilled out day today. It's been so different to yesterday, and I'm just so glad of all you lovely people on here, and that we have these forums to come on. Applestreet, your post was really lovely, and really brings it home just who we have in the way of special people round us such as family and friends. Jackie, your relaxation session sounds to have been really uplifting - glad you've been in a smiley mood since it. Fantastic! With much love to everyone! Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Naz, Araminta's sent you hugs - if you need extra, have some from me too!! Oh love, you're having treatment for bc - it's not any less a cancer than any other. We're all individuals, so please don't compare yourself with anyone else. You're feeling like you're on a knife's edge; that's just not the same as being incapable at work. If you think the time off work will do you good, then I'd say Go For It - you're what's important, and you'll be much more refreshed when you return to work, than you would have been if you struggled on and became really exhausted or stressed. Sometimes we feel really guilty about giving time to ourselves, and just need caring people to reassure us that it's ok to do so. Dont put yourself under pressure or push yourself to go into work if you dont feel up to it - take those 3 weeks off if so, and have some important "me" time! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Jackie, I'm so glad you came on here tonight cos I've been thinking about you today. I hesitated before putting my post on here about how I was feeling, cos I didnt want to put you off cos I was having an off day, but as it is, I'm feeling so much better. When you feel the worst, you think it's always going to be like that - n just like I'm feeling so much better now than I did earlier - you'll begin to feel a little better about your appearance. Its such early days for you as yet, and I can really relate to how you're feeling, cos I remember how I felt this time last year. My scar line looks brilliant now, and hopefully yours will with some more time. We're all different to each other, but I just wanted to tell you your body will change a lot over the next few months - it doesnt stay like that honest, so I think you'll be more accepting of your scar site area over time. It's just a horrible and sad journey that we take, and we're all so individual - for those who are like you and me, reconstruction isnt an option as yet, and perhaps forever, and for other people, it's important to be able to have an immediate reconstruction. But, I've never ever met a group of people like on here, who are just so lovely, and we're all accepting of each other, and just so kind. I really dont know what I'd have done without this website, because my work is very demanding and quite strenuous & its only the lovely people on here that really understand that things dont become normal again after treatment is completed. So Jackie, take care of yourself, and I really do hope you manage to sleep better tonight. Its so tempting to push ourselves forward, but this is YOUR recovery time, and you need to treat yourself as caringly and nicely as I bet you have done in the past with people close to you! With lots of love, and a big (((hug))) Shelley xxx ... View more

Cackles, you are brilliant! Thanks ever so much for all those suggestions. I feel a major shopping trip coming on - lol!! Lots of love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello there 1234, Sorry you've not been feeling well today! I'm glad you managed to get some antibiotics from your doctor, but just wondered if they'd left you a prescription at the counter, or whether you were able to be seen by the doctor today. They might be able to swab your wound, and send the sample off to the lab, and if you have got a wound infection for definite, they may be able to give you specific antibiotics that will work best for whatever tyoe of infection is there. But hopefully, the antibiotics will make you feel better once they get into your system - it can take a couple of days for that to happen I think, so hopefully you wont be feeling grotty for too much longer. You've been through a lot recently, with two lots of surgery so close together, so take care of yourself, and if the wound starts to look any worse, I'd contact your doctor again, or the bcn for advice. Also, have you been seen by a district nurse recently, cos maybe they may be able to look at it for you. Take care of yourself, and I hope you manage to get a good night's sleep, without pain. With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Awwh Happyshopper, glad we've helped, even though we've also brought your tears on again as well. But that's how it is isnt it. We cry cos we're upset, then we cry again (with some relief in the tears this time) cos we get such kind replies on here! It sounds as if quite a few of us have had a difficult day today, so big hugs to you all! Jane, I've just looked at the Diana Moran article, and on the CCT website they've got the Dr Peter Harvey article as well - they're both just so reassuring to read, arent they! Love to Everyone, Shelley xxx ... View more

Thanks for the link Ninja. I'm going shopping in M&S for a couple of them, as they look like they'll be great for night times for me with a softie! Cackles, thanks for the advice about a stick on prosthesis. It's funny you should mention about Southampton, cos I've just been thinking today I might book an overnight trip down that way. I live up in the north, but could make a short break of it, n do some Christmas shopping at the same time. Love to Everyone! Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Ninja We've chatted before on here haven't we, and thanks for this post. It'll be lovely when you can sleep "nakie" with your OH again, but it's just got to be the right time for it hasn't it! I really hope the right time for you isnt too long in coming, Ninja, cos yes, it's just really sad how bc plays such havoc with how we feel about ourselves in such personal ways. Thanks for telling me about the M&S pj top - I've not seen it, so will call in and have a look this week. Yes, it's a shame they dont do it in black, but the cream one sounds nice! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello HappyShopper, Oh love, what a day you've had! Poor you! I think there's lots of us on here know and understand what it's like to be completely overwhelmed by things just like you've described. I bet your junior colleagues weren't thinking anything wrong of you at all you know. They'd just be really concerned about you, so don't worry about what they might be thinking at all! And you haven't made an idiot out of yourself either! Sometimes we go on and on coping, and just dont realise how mucch we're keeping inside ourselves - and then it comes out totally unexpectedly, and that's what's happened today for you! This horrible blooming bc rears its head again when we least expect it, and has no regard for time elapsed since diagnosis, treatment etc. I've been tearful and had support on here today, so I understand how you're feeling, and there'll be lots of others along to give you reassurance too. Yes you're right, a bc diagnosis takes away our confidence, and along with your premature menopause, it's so understandable that you've felt and acted like you did today. You're only human, and your colleagues will understand that. And you've got another scan to go yet - so you need lots of caring from people, and to be gentle with yourself too, n not go blaming yourself or being embarrassed for today. Have a big ((((hug))))) from me, and take care! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Cackles, Oh what a lovely reply - thankyou so much! Yes, the helpline were wonderful, so if there's any mods reading, please pass this onto the helpline staff if you can! Just can't believe how upset I've been today, and you're right, cos it just comes up again out of the blue. Still, at least I'm feeling more positive again now. I've got some of the M&S bras that have the lace insert, but they dont seem to look right on me, but I think I'll try the Amoena ones because like you, I really like Amoena bras. They're really well made, and you feel really well supported and comfy in them dont you! I spoke to my bcn about a stick on prosthesis a few weeks ago. I've had my existing Trulife prosthesis for a year ago now, so can't have another on NHS for two more years. But the bcn says they have the same Amoena prostheses in stock - but without the "sticky bit", so would be able to fit me with the right size, then I could just buy from Amoena online. I'm in a health scheme where I can get back 75% of the cost of it, but recently I've had a scar line biopsy, and it turned out to be something called telangiectasis (spelling?), and although the biopsy site is healed, the telangiectasis seems to be coming back again. I dont know whether a stick on prosthesis is a good idea - I'll find out a bit more about telangiectasis first, but I know it's a benign condition and is deformed blood vessels due to radiotherapy 10yrs ago. I'd looked at the camisoles you mention, but had been doing so well at being able to look at myself in nightwear without a softie/prosthesis in place - but given that I could have some more weepy days from time to time, think I'll treat myself to a couple of camisoles and some nightwear. Cackles, I do wish you well in your decision whether or not to have the radiotherapy over a longer period of time, in case you do decide to go for reconstruction eventually. I've always been so sure I didnt want it, but I must admit when I saw myself with the softie under the pj top last night, it did look nice to see two mounds down there, so perhaps in a year or two I might change my mind. Decisions! I guess it's nice to have them, but it really is such a minefield like you say! Take care Cackles, and best wishes for your future too! With much love! Shelley xxx ... View more

Oh gosh, my wobble/weepytime seems to be over now thankfully, n am feeling a lot better. Just shows how you can think you're ok, then it all comes back again for a little while, like for me today! Much love to you all! Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello Everyone, I came on this thread to post for myself, but saw Jackie (Italia's) post so have responded to that. Am now hesitating to post for me, cos I don't want her to think she's going to feel like she is doing for ever. You're not Jackie, but every so often, the bloomin body image thing raises its head, n just for a little while, you feel really down again. That's happened to me since yesterday evening - n over something really simple too. I bought new pj's. The top is round necked n lovely soft tshirt material in pretty design. I'm going away overnight this weekend, n decided I wanted to wear this - am sharing room with female friend who knows I've had bc, n she's seen me in baggy nightwear without prosthesis. But this top really shows my missing breast, and I'm only 34B. I decided to sew ribbon vertically inside, so that I can wear softie, and that's worked a bit, but when I move, it moves with me, so I think it probably looks worse than no breast. But, it's brought up for me again about my body image. I thought I'd got over hating seeing myself in nightwear without prosthesis/softie. Am really missing my breast again, but dont want reconstruction. Spoke to lovely lady on BCC helpline this morning - was crying n just really upset. She suggested crop top in bed with softie in place when I go away. i'm going to get one this afternoon, but will probably just take more baggy nightwear with me this weekend. It's silly really, but I just wanted to wear that top n it be baggy enough not to have to wear softie etc in bed. Body image - you think you're ok about it, n then suddenly it rears its ugly head again. Feeling very weepy - I've been here before n got thru it, so I know I will again, but feel upset just now. I really wish I could be like ladies on the "Wearing bra for remaining breast but no prosthesis" thread - I think they're so brave to go prosthesis free and feel comfy with themselves about it. Just could do with some friendly words if someone can reply please. Much love to Everyone! Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello there Italia, Sorry I've only just seen your post, else I would have replied by now. So sorry you're not sleeping very well. Italia, I'm sure it's not just you that feels fine one minute n really tearful the next. It's not long since your surgery, and your emotions and your body itself are still coming to terms to what's happened. The diagnosis is such a shock in itself, and then your body has undergone the surgery and the anaesthetic, and that's without the huge change in your body appearance. You aren't a basket case at all Italia - just someone trying to come to terms with everything, so be kind to yourself, and maybe you could talk to your GP or Bcn for reassurance that it's quite normal to feel like this. If the not sleeping became a problem, or if you felt you were becoming overwhelmed by your emotions, there's lots of help out there for you, so dont be afraid to ask. You're right about posting on here as well, the kind words that people leave each other really help! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello there Bubbliejubblies (I love your name!), I'm really glad you came on here to give vent to how you're feeling right now! I know you've heard the words "just in case" before, so that's no consolation to you today, but the swollen gland might just be as a result of an infection, rather than cos your cancer has returned. But.... the nature of having had the bc beastie means that we understandably worry ourselves sick, in case it's a recurrence. Have they said when they're going to do these tests? I know it's not easy, but please try not to worry more than you have to about it. come on here whenever you like, cos there's some lovely people on here, and I know there'll be others along very soon to add their words of caring too! Take care of yourself, and please let us know how you go on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

Hello there Fairy Queen, Sorry to hear you're feeling so unwell - I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, and send you a big n very gentle ((((hug)))! With much love, Shelley xxx ... View more

That's great news Angel - so pleased for you, and have been thinking about you. Thanks for letting us all know! Much love, Shelley xxx ... View more