Think we're on our own on this thread tonight Gill!
OY! Where are you all…? I had to visit the December Darlings today 'cause our thread's so quiet!
Anyway, Gill, rads not wizzing ahead, low counts and the PICC line being left in set me off blubbing on the kitchen table this week.
Probably be better getting my counts up and myself more ready for it though and we're now going away for a few days during the Easter hols, courtesy of a lovely friend who felt sorry for us all and has offered to pay for most of the accommodation. Feeling very lucky about this and trying not to over fantasize about what a wonderful time we're going to have… I'm sure it won't be too late to go to a LGFB thing Gill.
Hope everyone's resting up and getting through the bad bits. x
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Lulu and all,
LCFS was fine really; I mean I just LC and FS anyway so some superficial slap ain't gonna alter things; but much appreciation for free products in preparation for eye-lashes!
Interesting to realise you've also got straight on with rads after chemo Lulu. I've been told optimum time is four-six weeks after chemo for rads but can be up to three months and it's now looking likely mine will begin just over seven weeks after I finished chemo!
Must get on and make a tasty quiche for a lovely friend who's been an absolute rock and a saint in my times of neediness.
(As no-one's posted I'm hoping you didn't read my comment about flushes and flashes – if you did, I blame this website info: http://www.healthywomen.org/condition/estrogen)!
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Glad you're doing OK Lisa. Should have re-named it Look C..p, Feel S..t in my last posts! You tell them your skin colour before you go so I guess they change the foundation to suit. The eye-shadows we had were good browns, greys etc and thankfully not pink! You would run it better I'm sure. I got asked if I wanted tea or coffee then none arrived! They were lovely facilitators but almost felt awkward or worried about how we may react to their attention. Anyway, it was an event, free and a bonus to receive so I don't want to knock it; just lightly jesting. I must stop! What would men actually receive tho'?! Are there any pampering products for them other than the basics?! 😉 x
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Lizzy, meant to say hope your fluid retention and ankles improve. I should begin it this Friday but dreading yet another drug and more se's. I just want to feel 'normal' again; whatever that was! I'm toying with the idea of leaving it until next Friday to see if I get a feel good factor for a week… Oh the dilemas. Perhaps I'll start it mid next week?! God; I'm experiencing a mighty hot flush.
Got the man shouting at super scrimpers about how patronising it is and: "She's not a real person! She's production!" Why are we viewing this bloody rubbish?!
Oh God; switched to Masterchef. Pass the wine! x
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OMG Lisa! I can't believe how much hair you've got and you haven't even finished chemo. Tax made my eyebrows and lashes fall out so thought it would have stopped any hair growth and you've had more more tax haven't you – thinking you're now on no seven?!
Anyway, evening all…
Today it was LGFB for me. Guess what? I don't look good/feel better! I returned and was greeted by my middle son who said: "You look like a witch; but you still look like Mum". Helped no end! I have to say I feel a bit better than yesterday when I was an emotional wreck and had to peel my sobbing self off the kitchen table at one point. Think it's low cell counts and a general total low all over after chemo and pre-rads. I just can't seem to keep on an even keel and have flashes of OK but mostly feel I can't see my way forward. Doesn't help with the brain not working very well either and I just end up feeling frustrated and inefficient most days – like I'm not planning and using my days in the best way to feel I'm making the most of this precious life and current spare time.
You must be finding it tough with rads so soon after chemo Gill. I was told they had to wait a month minimum to get cell counts up and the body stronger to deal with it?!
Right, LGFB products. What did you all get? What was your horrid perfume Kym? Mine is Estee Lauder Sensuous. I haven't opened it yet for fear it's the horrid one! I had mostly No7 so no great shakes there. Some seemed to get nicer foundation. Happily I got a Chanel mascara (although can't currently use it!) and Clinique moisture cream and concealer, Lancome brown pencil and eye cream, L'Oreal lip liner. Let me know your best products! I've just re-read your post Kym. Seems we got the same!
Sadly Linda I didn't feel much sister love coming from the other LGFB women. I'm sure they are all lovely but it was just straight in and everyone got on with slapping on the disguise. I think we all felt self-conscious and no-one knew what anyone else's cancer was so it all felt a bit awkward. I can't explain feelings succinctly but it all felt a bit odd. I'd probably built it up in my head to be an enjoyable social event. When properly considered, why would it be under the circumstances?!
Oh dear… I think I'll go on a solitary walk and make and bake handmade bread tomorrow for a pick-me-up. Should I put make-up on beforehand I wonder; just to scare the boys when they return from school… Tonight they said they don't want me to wear make-up, apart from the diplomatic eldest who said: "Do what you want to do".
Diane I've got to have rads to neck and chest wall as they said they couldn't go any higher taking nodes out or they'd be into the neck area, hence couldn't guarantee they'd got all the affected nodes. When they do rads he said they sometimes catch some of the lung and heart due to the angle and it causes scaring to those areas.
Having a glass of red now as got that devil may care attitude and feel I need one. Man's just got the Tyrrells out too and it's not even Friday night! ;-}
PS Super Scrimpers on now. Ideal viewing for the time rich, cash poor!
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Just returned from my first rads appointment. Nothing to report other than I thought I would get tattooed, picc line out and ready to go forward with rads in a week or so but it wasn't to be. Instead it was just a consultation. My counts were too low (0.6) after last chemo on 24th Feb to take out the line. FED UP as I'm desperate to get shot of this PICC! Anyway, also learned I won't begin rads until after Easter due to having to have 4-6 weeks clear after chemo before beginning rads (but others of you seem to have begun sooner?!) and Easter falling when it does is not ideal as five day blocks are preferred! Now looks like I won't start until about 16th April (seven weeks after chemo ended). More recovery time before getting hit with the rads and Easter school hols wouldn't have fitted well with the children being home = two positive slants.
And, it transpired it'll be four weeks of rads with lower zapping to help lessen the se's of long term skin trauma.
Lisa, I was told to begin Tamoxifen three-four weeks after my last Chemo so I have it at the ready but can't decide when to start…?!
Got LGFB booked for this Wednesday so at least something to look forward to but then no going out planned so, other than some free products, what is the point? Oh yeah, I may finally get to meet some other bc sufferers in person…!
I twitted Judes mid Feb. but haven't had a reply. Let's hope no news is good news – as the saying goes.
So long since I posted too and I can't remember everyone's upsets. I know you were feeling really low Paula and hope you've perked up now.
I'll have to go back and read again to refresh my memory but hope everyone is OK and send best wishes to all.
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Lulu and Kym, we must have been posting at the same time. Lulu, you obviously much more knowledgeably than I. The foof comment was hilarious! I've not heard it called that before and thought it may be Scottish but my Dundee man knows not of it; so he says…
OMG! Big Fat Gypsy Weddings is truly outrageous this evening… Bet you're watching it Kym – if you're not sleeping.
I'm feeling a bit sick and keep getting the hot flushes. Urrgh… ;-/
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Kym, I prefer you to the lama any day! Sorry to hear you're low. I am too; very up and down, emotional (day four of third tax today). Orangy nails and tender fingers. Pins and needles earlier but seem to have stopped. What's it about? They asked me about p&ns when I went for pre-treatment and I forgot to say 'a bit'. Energy levels are hard to manage. One minute I imagine I want to do something, but actually doing it is then too much effort and I can't be bothered, or rather, have no enthusiasm for anything much. Even phone conversations are an effort and I don't want to speak to people for fear of dishing out my upset on them; particularly parents and siblings and make them feel bad 'cause what can they do other than worry and not do themselves any good.
Why did you have chemo first? I got told if ct-scan had shown anything I would have chemo first but if not mx first. Know how you must be feeling about having to go through it twice more. I got told our unit used to give eight but found it difficult to get most people through and now adhere to a French study showing six versus eight isn't enough difference to make putting people through eight worth it???!!!
All the best Weme and Teresa for Thursday. Merely facing it is petrifying; it was all I could do not to attempt an escape through the nearest window. I woke up on a high though and my sister visited but got thrown out about 9pm as we couldn't stop gossiping. When you feel rubbish afterwards try to remember the anesthetic takes a while to leave you. Reading Jeeves and Wooster really helped me – think it was Right Ho, Jeeves!
Great news Gingersmithy.
Liz, hope you feel even better by tomorrow and lots of luck for your heart scan.
Gill, hope your vein gets better. Such a drag getting other and on-going pain on top of the se's. Why didn't you go for a PICC line?
Sophie, hope you're OK and home now…
Lisa, seven days of a 50mg capsule fluconazole will put you right. I started it on day seven after the first tax but began it on day four after the second tax as wanted to get rid of it soonest. This third tax I don't seem to have it so haven't begun taking any yet. They are at the ready tho'…
Christine/anyone: re cording. I saw a lymphodema nurse last week and she got hold of my arm and stretched the skin upward from above the armpit saying we need to lift our arm and pull up from between the armpit and the elbow. She also showed me the lymph massage. However, here we are not supposed to do it until after chemo while on the continent they do it during chemo! As usual, the jury is out… Anyway, it takes 15-20 mins and we should do it twice a day to encourage the lymphatic flow across to the non-mx side. Not sure where to encourage it those who've have double mx… There are NHS leaflets showing you how but I didn't see them in the hospital. L-dex tests are also done every three months but it seems to be something you may need to push for as here it's done at a hospice, not the hospital and I'm sure it was only me enquiring and phoning people that I've ended up organising it or I would have slipped through the net like a forgotten Minnow!
Amysmum and Lisa… Wondering if the breathless thing is because bodies are under so much strain making up cells? I sometimes think I am, and feel a bit light-headed, but manage to walk an hour on good days. Or is it to do with general fitness or just a se some get and some don't? Not meaning to be rude here but were you both energetic before it all?!
I've definitely run out of puff now! Laterz x
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Oh no; I've got hot sweats closely followed by cold sweats – ye old Yew (Taxus) tree poison's begun its business inside my body… Periods seem to have given up on Docetaxel too.
Thankfully it was my last chemo – hopefully forever; so even thoughts of things getting worse this week before they improve is bearable.
So sorry to hear all your sad news Jean. What a emotionally and physically exhausting year you've had and a terrible endurance test. Life's so tough at times words can barely express…
Lisa, your rash and hands must be so sore. I can't believe they've given you the same full dose 2nd time around! I only had 90% again this third time as they said they didn't want to worsen se's as it would make no difference keeping it to 90% as against 100% as not an exact science etc; doses just go on body mass.
Liz, hope you continue to improve and quickly. At least this is your last one too isn't it? I've also found day seven a low one throughout.
Linda and LuLu hope yous two had a straightforward day.
Gill, hope your cold improves this weekend.
My brain's full of chemo and my memory seriously bad to reply to you all… I do remember chuckling about Fairy's riding hat look last night. No! You didn't actually write that did you? I just always think you are wearing a riding hat!
I wore wiggy to chemo today; to mark it as a kind of special? occasion and got some pics. Can you believe I've not met one other woman down there with breast cancer in the whole four months? It's all been old men on my day; although sadly two younger ones today. I asked where the bc sufferers were as was wishing I could actually meet some. They said they go on Thursdays and Thursdays were too busy to fit me in!
I watched BFG Weddings too last week; those poor ponies racing on the hard tarmac wasn't nice. They do it round this way along a bypass – MAD! Tonight it's been Melvyn Bragg's excellent series and now the Review Show. What a combo… rather balanced me thinks!
Right, best off before this balance swings with my steroids, droopy eyes, chemo brain and odd swaying moments… Not to mention all the stewed prunes, pears and the chick pea dahl I've consumed in a bid to alleviate tomorrow's constipation…
zzzzzzz's? I doubt it! x
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Great news PP, so pleased for you.
I reckon the others are silently suffering se's as it's so quiet on here. It always happens in my third week. They'll all be chatting away next week when I'll be silently suffering!
Nighty night for real. x
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Blimey another post so soon – my note taking's not as good as it used to be…
Forgot to thank you Gail, for replying to my fears too.
And Christine, glad you're still posting, albeit on a different thread.
Also forgot to say I hope you're OK Libralady 'cause you're very quiet these days…
About to relax with my crocheting now!
Nighty night all. x
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Lulu, thanks for your reply and pep talks on us all remaining positive on p208 and p210. Not sure if I've a 90% chance with 11/16 nodes, multifocal invasive ductal carcinoma and DCIS of 70mms + moderate extra nodal spread and apical nodes involved (scares the bee-jeebies out of me just typing it!) but you perked me up nevertheless!
Hope your aches and pains are improving. What is cording? Guessing it's when arm goes tight when you lift it up and it won't stretch properly. I have it a lot and just try to keep stretching it and massaging it along. Tomorrow is my pre-treatment appointment and a lymphodema massage scheduled beforehand when they will hopefully show me how to do it myself.
Gill, Yes 10 years would be awful due to our young ones (not to mention ourselves!) but better than one; or none!
Paula, hope you perk up real soon.
Liz and Lizzy, excellent news you've both had your last chemo.
Debbie, good luck tomorrow, and for the week of nasties; also for your hip MRI scan. What can an MRI show that a CT doesn't? I've not had an MRI, just the CT-scan before the MX.
L4W, totally relate to your benny! I'll prepare myself as know I'm going to have to suffer a lot of those fluffy annoyances soon at the school gate, round and about…
Filosofie, hope you're OK. Sounds like you've been experiencing a total nightmare. I looked at your link but an average everyday consumer like me can't make sense of it at all…
Linda, poor you too re your chemo. What day is it re-scheduled for this week? I should be on Friday but have been around yet another sickness bug with the kids so hope to goodness it goes ahead as it will hopefully be my last one ever too.
GG, you're having a dire time too. All you can do is take advice and do what gives you the best chance of transcending the f-ck-r. Sorry to be so blunt but it is literally totally tits.
Keepthefaith, I can't believe how fast your hair's grown!
PP, CT scan is really quick (10 mins), this is assuming some odd bloke isn't in front of you in the queue saying he can't lift his arm; or whatever he's supposed to be lifting, winding up the nurses and taking half-an-hour or more! I don't want the tats either and will see how I may avoid them when I have my appointment mid March…
Troodles, hope your gloom will lift with the promised sunny weather later this week, if not sooner.
Judes, you seem to have disappeared again? Do I need to tweet you? Oh, all right then, I'll refrain!
For MX assistance you could do worse than Jeeves and Wooster!
PS: can you tell yet, I've taken notes!
PPS: I learnt to crochet last week… Result! But, yes, that's how bored I got. Anyway, So far I've managed four squares with re-discovered left-over wool from childhood knitting days.
Off to eat, followed by a spot of crochet then… x
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Thanks to all you recipe givers on here! This is a great thread; just discovered by me due to it happening to be at the top of the 'latest posts' list.
I haven't bobbed about much on forums as usually stick to one thread due to lack of time and my attempts to continually 'achieve' tasks. This probably equates to 'most inefficient'! Anyway, I'm enjoying reading the recipes and thought I'd share this one. It's been great during chemo as the ginger in it really helps with a sore throat (I've upped the ginger considerably so do what's best for you).
Immune booster soup
This satisfying soup takes the edge off your hunger and is a great way to get more vegetables into your day. It has 90 calories per serving, the ingredients are known immune-boosters.
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups carrots, sliced
1 cup celery, chopped
1 cup leeks, chopped
1 cup onion, diced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, minced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup shitake mushrooms, finely sliced
1 cup parsley, chopped
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
8 cups water or stock
1 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/4 cup fresh chives, chopped, for garnish
1. Coat a large pot with olive oil. Add carrot, celery, leek, onion, ginger and garlic, and sauté for 10 minutes on medium heat, stirring frequently.
2. Add shiitake, parsley, basil and 8 cups of water/stock. Season with salt and black pepper. Turn heat to high and bring to a boil (it says this but I don't boil mine; just feels wrong!), then simmer for 20 minutes.
Serves 5 (I don't use the 'cup' thing; just put loads of all and make a big batch on a good day to cover some bad days).
BW to all. x
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Very late evening all
I've kept away for a while as realised I was not in a good space due to feeling so low. I used to attempt to perk you all up with some Elmer-type humour but these days am lack-luster. The tiny world I now inhabit and the shocking events of the last six plus months do take their toll.
Also I'm worrying about how to forge ahead when poisoning and burning end. How you would even know if it came back to bite again as there are no scans etc; other than annual mammogram; and I know first hand they can't be trusted. Also, I've no idea what work, for peanuts, I'll be able to get after this. It's all totally doing my bonce in. That's only a couple of the many niggling worries!
It's half-term so those of us with kids are frazzled by them too! My bloke's off to his folks in the Scotty Lands at 5am tomorrow with one of ours and one of his. I'm off to parents with two of ours. Oh the poor tapestry…
Sorry to hear LL and Audrey, you've been suffering so much. I recommend Diprobase cream as a heavy duty moisturiser; you can get it prescribed. Also hope you're picking up again Fairy. What total doggie downers for many of you and really hope things improve by the hour with the se's for everyone enduring.
Only one TAX to go for me, on 24th. The last two I've had 90% of the dose; although my counts were up pre-steriods last time. I wonder if my se's have been easier because of it.
I booked myself onto LGFB for mid-March. Thanks LuLu and all for recommending and advising what it was as I haven't made use of any other perks.
Hope you're OK Christine and you'll get back on here soon. Glad you're back PP. Good bathroom Judes. I should post one of our 70s avocado number with pale blue tiles falling off walls. It's rank. I don't bath; I mean, you wouldn't, would you? The shower's a dribble, saving on PICC line cling film…
I'm away with no internet connection for a few days now. Will check in again early next week.
Happy posting y'all… x
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Just wanted to nip on to apologise for any offense I've caused you. I hadn't meant my post as a personal rant; just down and feisty with my lows. The man says I must keep off the espresso as our machine does a doublexdouble dose and I'd consumed one pre-rant. It sends me a bit hyper and the kick's a bit addictive when all other energy is lost!
It's my 'nasty' week and I realise I should have raised eyes skywards instead of bothering anyone. Sorry Maybeline, don't stop posting due to my daftness. ;-o x
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Oh… FGS! NONE of this is 'a walk in the park'; you've just blanked it! Anyone saying the mx is not too bad has just blanked it too. My oncologist phoned to go through se's last week and even sniggered when I said: "It wasn't too bad; I think I've blanked them". That's what the brain does to cope and that's what we've all done without necessarily realising it.
Wake up to anyone uttering the words: 'walk in the park' about any of this. We don't even know if our individual bodies will transcend it and it's frightening. Using flippant phrases to describe the SLASH, POISON and BURN regimens we have no choice but to endure is what is getting Jackie's (and possibly others') goats. I see where Christine was coming from initially but repeating it is not at all helpful.
Joy during the various regimens is gained from very simple pleasures and being able to take an actual 'walk in the park' is one of them.
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Jackie: personally I found FEC a lot worse than Tax and said as much many pages ago and on more than one occasion. I also believe LuLu and a few others expressed similar sentiment. FEC exhausted me more physically and went on for more of the week with fatigue and my emotions seemed much more unbalanced, i.e. crying a lot. This may also have been because the end of this tunnel seemed so far away during the first three regimens.
With Tax I've felt clearer headed, although mouth, tongue, no taste buds is annoying, I've at least felt brighter in myself and have more energy to walk and even manage a cake and a smile on my son's birthday yesterday. I didn't want to bang on about it as tempting fate is the last thing I want to do (particularly with LL in hospital! x) and I've still got one more to get through!
As L4W says, we are all individual with different backgrounds, health issues and personal stress to contend with.
This forum is for the purpose of mutual support and I'm certain no-one wants to upset anyone else unnecessarily, particularly when we've all fallen on this shaky ground together. I hope everyone is able to use it to their advantage and not waste time taking umbrage at comments that were not meant to be personal; merely to relieve some of the anxiety of those suffering through their particular regimen.
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Think you should speak up about the PICC line and not use the mx arm at all for bloods due to lymphodema risk. It's so easy to get blood from the PICC with the right screw-in syringe and that's one of the beauties of having it; not continuing to be a pin-cushion etc; not to mention vein pain on lower arm.
I'm not too bothered if they only change my end blue bit every other week but wouldn't let it go longer than that without reminding them to do it. You also have four more treatments to go so need to keep it all pristine and not suffer worry about it. I have to say the DN's seem very on the ball around the South West, just my local surgery with no experience! Good luck…
I'm starting to feel a bit weird after TAX2 now but hoping to continue pottering until Monday-Thursday's envisaged endurance test… x
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So sorry to hear about your Mum Trudi. Keep us posted and hope all will be well.
Thanks for your replies LuLu and Linda. I got through the 5th dose today and counts were even up yesterday after awful PICC line experience. He took the blue bit completely off and sucked the blood out of the red attachment - hence blood squirted out afterwards! Surely they had syringes to hand to fix on the blue bit as I took note of how simple it was at the hospital today. Stupid me for not paying careful attention to instruct incompetents at the local surgery… The DN's call two out of three weeks but they don't take bloods. I'd missed my hospital pre-treatment on Tuesday so had to get bloods done yesterday.
Anyway, had massive flush today to make up for yesterday's mini vials!
Hunkering down now as know I'll be hit good and proper when the steroids wear off. Gonna stick with them as only two x two tomorrow – keep me going for the weekend. Realising the need to cut them out gradually. Enjoying not having to take the anti-sickness; just one Ondanstraton; hence not too much constipation to endure…
Gentle times to you all x
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