Breast Cancer Now Forum

Swoot - good luck for Friday's operation. My own WLE was back in July and it is looking good now. I wish you the same good results. Luvvie66, Jackster50 and Mandymid - so nice to see your messages. Yes, the journey still has a way to go, but the end of this particular tunnel is in sight, and it will be good to see daylight. And together we will not leave anyone to cope alone. Luvvie66, I hope the numbness goes away soon! I have brown patches on my large toenails but I think they might just be saved from coming off since the TAX dose was reduced. And as for the brain thing... I do hope it isn't permanent in my case!! 😕 (As you know, we are assured by other BC ladies that our minds DO return to normal - whatever normal was/is.) I've spent much of today in bed asleep, so I must be hitting the midway low where I feel breathless and tired. But on the plus side, perhaps more tastebuds will work tomorrow! 🙂 New year will happen quietly for me, so I'll wish you all the very best for the new year ahead, in case I don't get online again for a bit. June22 ... View more

Hi Mandy, Yes, I am still having chemo. I had a dose of Tax/Carbo on the 20th Dec, and next is due 10th Jan, and that should be the last one. Then Rads will follow shortly after, but I don't yet know how many, or when. Then, as I am TN, that will be 'it' for me apart from the regular check ups! I know it is going to be hard to get back into the swing of things after living from one appointment to another. Kind of scary to be on our own after all the attention and regular health checks... but I guess we aren't ever alone, as BCC/forum will still be around if we need support. 🙂 I enjoyed Christmas despite having little taste or appetite and a few other SE's... they lowered my last dose so I managed it much better this time - still feel rough though. This forum seems terribly slow to respond tonight! I know they are trying to fix the problems... let's hope they do so for 2013, so it is easier to use for all those unfortunate enough to find themselves facing the BC journey! 2012 is one year I will be glad to see the back of.... may the new year bless you all with good health and happiness. June22 ... View more

amd66 - gosh you deserve a hug. ((((Anne)))) If you can, try to understand that this huge LOW of your feelings isn't down to you... it is a side effect of the chemicals and the emotional ride you are on. The real you will come through this and return to normal emotions. It isn't you, and isn't easy to deal with, but change will happen. Many people say the steroids give them a bad case of blues, so do mention your depression when you next see your oncologist, and maybe they can reduce the steroids a little to help you through. You HAVE done well, we all have 🙂 At such an emotional time of year, it is hard not to get stressed out and frustrated at being unwell and not able to fully be yourself during the holidays, but ... spring is on its way, and you WILL become yourself again. Spookmoo - as always you made me smile with your message. Thanks. No mince pies for me though... everything sweet tastes horrible to me! the knitter - welcome... this is a lovely group of September ladies. Right, I'm off to read the article about knitting. I started crocheting a scarf when first diagnosed and it is still unfinished... chemo brain didn't give me much concentration to follow it on, but I intend to complete it. June22 ... View more

lollol01 - congratulations on your last chemo session. Good luck with the rads too. I'm just about to leave for my chemo dose number 6... only one more after this, then rads 🙂 The last chemo hit me hard, so they have slightly redused the dose of Tax in my Tax/Carbo mix... I am hoping I won't be so ill this time, but hey... there will be another Christmas next year so it doesn't really matter if I miss this one. They have also really dosed me up on steroids, so I haven't slept well at all and feel slightly crazy... I'll try to doze through chemo! In case I don't feel up to doing messages over the next few days... I wish you all as good a holiday-time with family and friends as is possible with chemo SE's... eat nice food if you can, and enjoy good company... of maybe snuggle up with a good book or watch whatever repeats are on TV! Whatever you do, and however you celebrate - have fun, make happy memories. June 22 ... View more

Hi Janicer, you might find it helpful to read this thread I started when i had the same question in mind... http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/undergoing-treatment-chemotherapy/when-expect-my-hair-fall-donating-hair-charity I am triple negative, and I wondered when my hair would start to fall as I wanted to get it cut before then, so I could donate it to a cancer charity. I hope the messages answer your question... usually it is around day 9 - 14 after first chemo for many people, but everyone is different! Good luck with it all, June22 ... View more

Spookymoo... did you really eat all the mice pies LOL ! Your posts are always a treasure to read, so full of kicking the Cancer where it hurts, you do make me smile. I have blood tests tomorrow to see if chemo can happen on Thursday, and as it will be the second of my Tax/Carbo doses - I know I will probably be out of action until after Christmas... if the last dose was anything to go by! So, I wish all you September Sapphires a lovely holiday with family, friends, or perhaps a good book! Take care, be kind to yourselves, and eat whatever you fancy 🙂 June22 ... View more

Spookymoo - gosh, you really are going through it, yet your posts always make me smile as you are so full of fight and humour. I can visualise you punching the SE's and Cancer on the nose 🙂 Thanks for the cheer up for the rest of us. I'm now 15 days after Tax/Carbo mix and still feel rotten. Still have bad taste for almost everything... just managing to drink a mushroom cup-a-soup! Been feeling cold and tired all day with slight ear ache, so been in bed a lot, and am about to go for an early night. Temperature is fine, so I don't think this is more than accumulated SE's getting me down. Two friends called to see if I would like company for an hour today and I just couldn't face trying to be bright and conversational so they were gently turned away. I'm not sure they really understand what chemo is really like (keep asking if I've finished treatment now, every week), but I felt too unwell to go through the motions of entertaining anyone. Then I felt bad all afternoon for not seeing them! The thing is, these are not people I would choose to spend an hour with even when I feel well, so it would have been hard work. Do I sound like I am trying too hard to justify myself?? Ah well, line care tomorrow and I will ask the nurse for some advice about my SE's as next week is supposed to be my good week, and if it isn't, my next dose will probably be delayed again, which would mean I might be able to enjoy Christmas and some food! Keep punching it all on the nose ladies. June22 ... View more

Hi September ladies, Just trying to catch up after feeling unwell after chemo #5 and a bit fed up with everything. I think it was simply half-way blues... but I started to wonder if I could really do the rest of the doses. Now I know I will just get on with it, but... this stuff really messes with us doesn't it? Not just our bodies and well-being, but with our emotions too. The time of year and grey skies doesn't exactly help either 🙂 Keyfeatures - if you can get to some sunshine, I say - go for it I was interested in reading that a few of you have had help with Oral thrush... mine was dreadful for about 5 days after the last chemo. My whole mouth looked like ski slopes! I photographed it to show my oncologist when I next visit, as they don't seem to offer me anything... I am going to ask for help as my whole throat felt choked up and I felt disgusting. My saliva was frothy too, yet my mouth was dry. (Sorry - a bit too much info perhaps.) Spookymoo - I hope your dizzy spells ease. I mentioned my wobbles to my oncologist, and asked if it could be low BP but he wasn't concerned and said blood pressure shouldn't be changed by chemo! No one ever takes my blood pressure when I get chemo, but he said this wasn't unusual... and didn't feel the need to get me checked even though I used to have high blood pressure. Hmmmm..... The following day after my last session I found the room spinning and swallowing me up, and I then found myself sat on the floor throwing up and holding on tightly as the room swirled, so I think I might mention this is not a side effect to be swept aside as they have done. Anyway, enough of SE's and moans from me... Wishing you all some magical moments with your family and friends over the holidays. Keep warm, germ free and I hope you can taste more than the sprouts alone with your chemo taste buds! June22 ... View more

Hello August ladies, Just popping in to say "hi" as I keep reading messages but fail to respond and keep up with it all. Mandyj - you are amazing to have made that cake. I have no concentration at all right now, and even doing a row of crochet on my scarf is a challenge! I think you did so well, especially as working with food isn't easy when you feel nauseaus. Glad to hear some of you have hair growing - even if it isn't the hair of your dreams! I currently have 2mm long eyelashes showing through, but my head-hair keeps coming and going through the sessions. At best, it is fuzzy fluff. Jackster50 - I hope you too are able to enjoy wonderful moments and happiness this Christmas. All I want for Christmas is some taste buds that don't make everything taste like salty ditch water! I'm finding it hard to even drink water to hydrate myself... If I don't get a chance to say it before the big day... Have a lovely holiday whatever your belief. June22 ... View more

Hang in there Cathie, this is a scary situation to find yourself in, but with the support of family, friends, and the wonderful people on this site ...you will be helped along at each stage and YOU CAN DO IT. Your oncology team and Breast Cancer Nurse will answer all your questions and explain each stage of treatment to you. There are people on this forum who can help too, and nurses you can phone for more information. Find the thread for those starting chemo at the same time as you (starting Chemo in December) and join in with conversations there as it is good to share experiences with others who are in the same situation and dealing with the same side effects. It is perfectly normal to be angry and afraid - it is a whole new experience that throws up so many emotions - but if you check out the threads of those who have been diagnosed ahead of you, it is evident that they all manage to help each other along, and come out the other end of the tunnel. Coming to terms with what IS and what needs to happen can take a while, but once you have appointments set up, and begin treatments, you will feel more in control again. I've had 4 FEC and am now on the Carboplatin/Docetaxal mix for 3 or maybe 4 treatments. I grumble at the side effects and I know it is a horrid journey... but I am getting there, and so will you. 🙂 ... View more

Margaret, I am sending you a huge hug right this moment. Sorry if I squeezed too tightly! You are going through too much confusion to be able to get a handle on things. Do ring your BC nurse and ask for some clear explanations of all that has been said/done. This just isn't fair... they should be clearer in their discussions with you. Make sure you know exactly what your diagnosis is because that last conversation of IBC might have been wrong - from the messy way they seem to be working they could have made a mistake! Maybe write down all these inconsistancies and go through them one at a time until you get clear answers at your next consultation? And perhaps ask the BC nurse to be with you for support? I have no idea what else to suggest... I am angry on your behalf, and upset for your situation. This journey is hard enough without people playing with our minds too. As for the Lymph nodes... could they do a Sentinal Lymph node extraction - the ones draining the duct of the tumour area, and test that for cells? That is what I had done whilst having my WLE. I didn't know until I awoke from the operation whether I had full removal or just partial removal. It turned out the sentinel nodes showed no cancer cells so they could leave my other nodes alone, so I was fortunate. You have big decisions ahead, so please don't feel you can't share here... however you are feeling. Someone on the forum is sure to have been in a similar place and may be able to offer advice or simply comforting reassurance. Get some rest, and try to talk it through with a Forum BCC nurse if you can't reach your own Breast care nurse. Hugs, June ... View more

Hi Lovely forum friends, Just popping in to say my fifth Chemo - the first of Tax/ Carbo combination went okay yesterday. I did get a tight throat feeling, but they slowed the flow and it eased off, and everything then went through without further problems. It took about 3 hrs though, and I was tired and a bit giddy when I came out. Had the follow up injection to boost my cells today - it was painless as I have tummy fat for it to go into! Nurse was a bit grumpy at having to fit me in to a busy day at short notice, but I think she later realised that it wasn't my choice (Oncology made the booking) and will be a bit less grumpy next time - I hope. Legs feel heavy, had sinus aches, and feel a bit wobbly with a headache, but so far not too bad. Just going to rest a bit before the inevitable bone aches begin in a few days. Anyway, just letting you know it all went okay, in case someone else has to do the same combo. Have lovely weekends free of SE if possible 🙂 June22 ... View more

Victoria... that is rotten and so unfair. Darn these tumours that feed on what we need to get on with life! Whatever you decide, it doesn't mean you are committed to a childless life if the hormones make you feel that way. Many children need families. I really do wish you well with all that is still to do. June22 ... View more

mandyj, Luvvie66, Sika, Swoot ...congrats to you all on having your last dose of chemo 🙂 Well done ladies - you deserve medals. Sika, glad the emotions weren't so bad with the reduced steroids. TigersGirlie ...so sorry to read about the blood clots causing a change of treatment plan, and you are so young to need to think about ovaries being removed. Could you perhaps have some eggs saved and frozen in case you consider someone to carry a child for you in the future? Not a happy thing to have to decide amidst all the stuff you are going through, but maternal emotions can change as you get older, so don't make any hasty decisions without considering all the options available. Sorry about the 5 yr tamoxifen not being suited, but maybe in the two years on the implant new discoveries will be made that will provide new treatments that do suit you! 🙂 Good luck with all the last SE's everyone, and please do look in on us stragglers who are still going through the sessions, to tell us how your Radiotherapy is going. I guess Radiotherapy requires a new thread... maybe you need to start a new subject for those starting radiotherapy in December over in the Undergoing treatment - radiotherapy section? I hope you can all relax a little on the run-up to Christmas without so many appointments. (And a bath w/o a PICC sounds lovely.) June22 ... View more

You may actually get used to being bald- or baldish! I wear my wig only when I want to go out without people realising I have cancer. And I wear a wig rather than scare or concern small children. Otherwise, I mostly wear a wooly hat, and let others deal with me as they see fit! My eyes are too sensitive to wear makeup right now - the lashes have all gone. My eyebrows are almost a memory - just a few straggly hairs refusing to leave me expressionless. I did use make-up to add eyebrows when I wore my wig last, and it worked okay. As you say, so many are going through so much worse than losing their hair! ... that doesn't make it any less of a significant issue for you to deal with and come to terms with, but does kind of change the perspective on how you look at yourself and feel about the changes ahead. Positive attitude is good... but it is okay to feel a bit fed up about it too. I felt so relieved once I had got rid of my hair. Knowing it was going to happen but not knowing when, was hard, and I felt more in control once I had acted to remove it all myself. I cut it all off at first sign of it falling out (the lengths went off to a wig charity), then we clippered my head - but it itched as the short hairs were still coming out, so I got OH to shave it. As friends in USA had their Thanksgiving this last week, I too though how much I had to be thankful for. Having Cancer isn't great, but it has made me realise how many lovely people there are out there, wanting to help, and willing me forward - no matter what I look like without hair! Welcome to the 'fuzzy head' club. You might need to wear a sleep hat, or you'll find you stick to your pillow! June22 ... View more

Anne, we wouldn't forget you! You can be the September FEC Queen... but that doesn't sound so nice 🙂 Glittery flowers are a lovely gift to cheer you, though I know it is difficult to chase the blues away, especially on such dull wintery days! Difficult to distract your thoughts and emotions when you can't really concentrate well either. I'm sure the drugs we have to take mess with emotions, so don't worry - this isn't the real you. You will be back to yourself soon enough... hang in there. I have a small family too - no kiddies so just me and my OH and a friend for Crimbo lunch. I think I will manage to provide a meal for just us three even if I feel unwell. Last Christmas we went down with a virus on boxing Day that laid us low for a month! It was a reall horror - so I am keeping away from crowds so I don't catch anything similar this year! We stopped buying gifts for family a few years back when we agreed we all had whatever we needed, and the stress of thinking what to buy was spoiling the time we should be sharing with family! So, Christmas shopping is a small thing for me too now. My OH and I just buy a few small surprises for each other, and it is enough. I thoroughly recommend being this way - you enjoy the holiday time and don't need to go back to queue in the shops with unwanted misfits! Of course, children are the exception and the gifts and magic is saved for them. My particular Chemo mix isn't to shrink my tumour - that particular 2cm charmer was removed (WLE) in July before I started chemo. My treatment is due to my tumour being particularly agressive at generating new cells, and triple negative (no treatment other than chemo and Radiotherapy will work on it), so basically they are mopping up any cells that might be in my body and hoping to zap them before they settle down and make themselves cosy. I am most fortunate in that my tumour hadn't spread to the lymph nodes. Felt a bit brighter today... it has taken ages to build up my energy again since FEC #4. June22 ... View more

Welcome 'story so far', almost a Sapphire is as good as 🙂 I actually started chemo on 31st August and they let me be a Sapphire too ! Thanks everyone. I've had 4 FEC, and next for me is 3 of Tax and Carboplatin mix. I too am worrying about the first Tax... I worried about the first FEC too though, and that went okay. Worry seems to be a regular theme for me. If all goes to plan with the next blood test (just had a weeks delay due to low neutrophils), I get my first Tax mix on 29th Nov. I'll try to remember to let the list know how it goes. If you don't hear from me, don't panic... it is likely I have forgotten to write a message due to chemo-clogged brain not working right! Sharing side effects and how we each deal with them, or not, has helped me through this horrid time. So glad you are all around on this journey to share some smiles as we go. Even if it is a bit of an uphill plod/crawl most of the time, we will get to the top and enjoy the view, and then run down the other side and forwards 🙂 As for Christmas... it can happen without much help from me. I'm wondering how I will feel about cooking lunch. A dodgy chrimbo hat sounds like a good idea... might make all the lovely hospital people smile. June22 ... View more

Jackster50 - I am so sorry to read that your Mum has passed away. My condolences to you and your family, and I send you supporting 'virtual hugs'. A Mother is such a special person and I can feel your pain in your message. These are extremely difficult times for you and your family and I'm sure that grief is overwhelming you. If you can, imagine what your Mum would say to you now about your chemo... wouldn't she want you to complete it so that you can soon move forward with your own life, and share with your family all the wonderful memories you have of your Mum? I spent too long holding on to memories of my parents, and my own life was put on hold for too long. Eventually I realised, they live on in us, in memories shared, in the people we are, and the things we do. Celebrate all that your Mum was to you and openly love those around you. Together you can get through this horrible time. Be kind to yourself right now, you are entitled to grieve and feel angry at such loss. Take care, June22 ... View more

Hello August ladies, I'm just touching base to say hello really. I keep intending to respond to individual comments, but then the conversation has moved along before I get around to feeling up to sitting at the computer... I just want to say I do read your messages, and I laugh along with you, and moan along with you too. Well done everyone for sticking it out despite all that it throws our way. Keep going, you are all doing great. Apologies for this message being added to the September list too, but I follow both and enjoy all the messages (my 1st Chemo was the last day of August so I fall into both groups!) Luvvie - I laughed at your list of SE's to give to enquiring well-intending folk. My sister made the mistake of asking me 'what else' it did to me apart from killing off cancer cells.... I said a similar list of se's to yours, and also how I have to take a tablet to protect my stomach and prevent acid reflux, and other tablets that have to go in with food, and yet more tablets to combat the nausea so that I can take the food even though I don't feel like it and can't taste it, and then tablets to deal with the constipation or trots caused by other tablets as well as the chemo... and so on... and in the end she wished she hadn't asked! But she did give me a big hug 🙂 Chemo... the gift that keeps on giving! I can't recall who said that first, but it is sooooo true. June22 ... View more

Hello September ladies, I'm just touching base to say hello really. I keep intending to respond to individual comments, but then the conversation has moved along before I get around to feeling up to sitting at the computer... I just want to say I do read your messages, and I laugh along with you, and moan along with you too. Well done everyone for sticking it out despite all that it throws our way. Keep going, you are all doing great. Apologies for this message being added to the August list too, but I follow both and enjoy all the messages (my 1st Chemo was the last day of August so I fall into both groups!) June ... View more