Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi angels Amber hope your daughter is feeling better today.So good that you can help her out. Roz thanks for all your efforts. I'm happy to go with either plan - whatever suits everyone. I'm slowly recovering from last chemo. Had a trip to A&E with chest pains on Thursday, but they decided after 6 hours that it was sternum pain caused by the neulasta. neuts borderline 1.9 but decided I'm less likely to catch anything at home than in hospital so i was released thank goodness. I've had PICC line out which definitely feels like an end. Had a shower without clingfilm- yeh!! Hair is currently dropping out again- showers of short white hair everywhere. lovely sunny day yesterday- went for walk, really enjoying getting out of the house again. love to all Mel xxxxx ... View more

Hi Angels FINALLY FINALLY MY TRAIN HAS ARRIVED AT THE STATION. THE DOOR HAS CREAKED OPEN AND I HAVE FALLEN OUT ONTO THE PLATFORM IN A CRUMPLED HEAP!!! Only slept about half an hour and have now given up lying there staring at the ceiling. It's great to log on and find that you are all planning for meeting up. Thanks Rozz you're a star!! Have chemo brain so better go for cancellable stuff. I would like to come for 2 nights with the 55min spa treatment- I think! is the room and treatment deal cancellable? If so I think I'll do this with lunch - can't really process the info atm but PLEASE put me down. Can't really believe I've finished chemo- feel slightly euphoric ( as well as sick, tired, aching and worried I'll end up back in with neutropenia) couldn't celebrate with food or drink, but did sing all the way back in car! Picc line out next Friday if I am not admitted. love you all Mel xxx ... View more

Hi Angels great news Sandy  I'm so pleased for you. Rozz- sorry to hear about the lymphoedema, hope you get some help soon. Judy- I have a hairy face! I think it's really noticeable, but was thinking it was just lack of head hair that made it stand out! Glad I'm not the only one! I haven't started tamoxifen yet so it's not that for me. My pathetic layer of head fluff is thinning again after chemo- quite fed up with grey fluff now. Got another voucher for a wig girls, as it's been 6 mnths. Now is it going to be a grey one so there's not such a big change when I stop wearing it? Last chemo Friday- can't wait love to all you lovely angels xxxx ... View more

Hi all sorry you're feeling poorly Sandy. Just to add mine to the rest I had tingling and numbness under arm and down arm which has slowly reduced.(op in feb), but not completely gone. I get occassional stabbing pains, and had the 'chapped' feeling under arm which eventually went after several months. Take the pain relief and hope you get some help tomorrow. I'm with Judy on the fluid draining- unfortunately mine started to leak! It's early days, give it time. sending hugs xxxx ... View more

Hi all Pauline can you remind me of the dates we're supposed to be going? chemo brain!!! Mel xxx ... View more

Hi Angels Sandy- so glad you're home and drain free. Don't feel guilty, Your need for downtime won't last long and like Philomena says family like to help. Congrats to those who've finished rads- I just can't keep up with you all. I started last chemo cycle yesterday on a 75% dose after the disasterous 0 WBC count last cycle. Onc said I could skip it altogether, but I'd already geared myself up for 8 and I don't ever want to look back and think I wish I'd had the last one. So 75% it is. last dose is next Friday. Have got friendly with 2 women I met at chemo clinic who also finish same regime next Friday so hopefully celebrations all round. Thinking of taking cakes but none of us will be able to eat them. Still the nurses will appreciate them. They've finally replaced missing nurses so yesterday was the quickest I've ever done, in and out in an hour and a half. Up at 4.30 am as usual and feeling sick as a dog but nearly done! I start tamoxifen 2 weeks after chemo. Bit worried about side effects but just have to wait and see. Glad it's going well for you Kate and you've been able to go back to work. I've just got another 3 month sick note from GP. I've also referred myself for counselling at my cancer centre at the hospital. I just feel rather lost at the moment. normal life seems such a long time ago, and I don't know which bits I want back. Well I know the bits I do want back but don't know how to get out of the bits I don't want - mostly work!! not sure how to escape from something i've done for the last 26 years, but I keep thinking if this comes back in the next few years I will regret having gone back. Sadly retirement not an option. Judy- my skin did not start to break down until about day 15 of rads and got worse in the week after. Dressings were great in the end and all healed now. keep slapping on the aqueous!!! love to you all Mel xxx ps lovely daughter ran the race for life last night in the dark. She did it with a friend in 28 minutes and raised over 300 pounds. tried to put a link on but it was removed. I'll try to add a photo but haven't managed this yet! I crawled off my sick bed to go and watch- so proud ... View more

Hi mel Perhaps we need an escape from teaching group! This will be my last chemo cycle, but I have 2 doses, this Friday and next Friday if blood test is ok. Desperate to finish, but I know there will still be weeks of feeling crap afterwards to get through. I'm on my knees really and just about dragging myself through the days, but I will get to the end! Mel xxx ... View more

Hi all Angie - hope you're feeling better now. I know what you mean about wanting to run away. I used to feel like that often before I was diagnosed. I look back now and just see too much work, too much stress. I'm trying to work out how I can not return to that life.both me and oh were working far too many hours and not giving the time to the important things. Spend time with the people who love you, that's What matters. Enjoy your break . Judy- so good to hear you had already managed to change your life for the better. I bet you don't regret it! Mel- not surprised you need longer off from teaching. I know I'm Still on the chemo train but I'm thinking of not returning to work until easter if poss. Maybe I won't Go back at all! Sandy- glad to hear things are improving. One day at a time lovely! I'm Just sooo tired. Blood test on Wednesday then chemo on Friday. Don't Feel like I've Recovered from last time at all yet. I've been fretting a lot about scar and changed shape, which I know is stupid because it doesn't Matter in the scheme of things, but I dream about it and wake up at ridiculous times thinking about it and then can't Go back to sleep. Love mel xxx ... View more

oh Sandy so sorry you're having problems. Hope you are pain free now and sorted. Thinking of you and sending virtual hugs. Mel xxx ... View more

Hi all I'm out!!!! released when neuts were 2 with oral antibiotics and strict instructions to return immediately if temp goes up. Great to be home but feeling very tired. Just sleeping and dragging myself about thanks for all your good wishes . it really makes a difference knowing you're all out there! .I'm working my way through all the series of Breaking Bad on netflix. Considering whether i too  could manage an illegal money generating activity!  Hopefully I'll  feel better in time to have last cycle next week- 2 doses to go. My skin is much better now after rads. all the bits that turned black have  peeled off and the split under my boob has almost healed. good luck tomorrow Sandy- just take it one step at a time. I've read all your other many many posts but just can't keep up with them all, so love to everyone and hope evrything is moving along smoothly!! love Mel xxx ... View more

Hi all glad you're feeling better Mel. Judy Happy anniversary! Sandy_ glad eyes are improving. Another tip for dry eyes- johnson's baby shampoo is really good to wash them with. I know it sounds a bit mad but I was told this by eye consultant and optician. just use it like you would a face wash. works really well for me especially now I have no eyelashes. Well angels i am still incarcerated. have just moved to oncology ward as they finally have a bed. bit sad because i have been moved from my lovely ensuite single room with a view to a room for 4. Oh well - hoping the onc might actually get round to seeing me here! Still having iv antibiotics, have had blood test yesterday but don't know what neuts are now as haven't seen dr yet. my tongue no longer looks like a slug in an organic vegetable patch and i can swallow again. I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all your supportive comments- it really helps to know I'm not alone. love to everyone Mel xxx ... View more

Hi a ngels Sandy I get clinitas soothe off internet now. They used to sell it at boots. Some opticians sell it too. Can't tell you website atm for reason below but I think amazon sell it. Just google. Do you all mind if I have a bit of a melt down on here? I've Had a s*** week. All the palava over dressings followed by 24hours of terrible wind and then awful diarheoa then my tongue swelled up so it is really difficult to swallow. Went to hospital for line flush dr said he hadn't Seen that before but probably an se. Did a blood test: Dr: did you do the neulasta injection;? Me: yes. Dr: well it hasn't worked your wbc is 0.03. Bit of a doc martin moment. Am now incarcerated AGAIN for at least till after the weekend.thoroughly p****d off. I want to be moving on with my life and I'm Just stuck in the same place. We were meeting my dad( of garage fame) in wales for the weekend. He's Already there so now he's On his own for the weekend. Very miserable. Moan over Mel xxx ... View more

Hi Angels just been catching up on your posts- you've been busy again!  Sandy- hope you're feeling regrouped and rested today. hope they can sort your eye out soon as. I think going with the flow is a good strategy to get you through.  My eyes have been v sore on and off through chemo. I had some drops which didn't help from onc, and now I just use clinitas sooth which I've got before for dry eyes. They don't cure it but they're very soothing. My vision has also deteriorated a lot during chemo- hoping this might improve! Fecinora- hope your results come soon so you can make a decision. It must be really tough to deal with rads and surgery at the same time. sending virtual awesome angel  hugs I have terrible wind at the moment- I'm not fit for human contact, so am trying to stay in. have to go to chemist to collect more dressings for skin. Haven't found anything I can use to stick them on with yet that doesn't blister my skin. I'm keeping them on with will power alone! I've got an appt to see district nurse about this, but honestly don't think I have the energy and don't want to wait in the surgery as WBC will be low. love to everyone else Mel xxx     ... View more

Hi aangels Just a quickie- Debra - welldone lovely for getting to the end of chemo, it's a long road for us CMF ladies but you did it. CONGRATULATIONS Make sure you celebrate as much as you can with the ses. Hope they're Not tooo bad and go quick. I had another CMF dose yesterday. Have been awake most of night and usual nausea. I have one more cycle to go finish on november 1St if it goes according to plan.At least rads is done! Have got some dressings now as skin under boob has broken down and is v sore. JUDY I know exactly what you mean about scar. When the fluid was drained off mine and a cavity appeared I cried. It was a shock I think because I only had WLE and had been told there would be a scar but noone mentioned hole and lumps. I've been referred back to the original surgeon now to see if anything can be done with the scar as I think it has tethered to the tumor bed. I'm Sure we all have issues with whatever were left with and hopefully things will improve with time. I do fret about it though- maybe counselling would help me? Loving the hair talk and can't wait to experiment when mines a bit longer. Hugs to all love mel xxx ... View more

I used to do yoga for a long time, but I always fell asleep during the relaxation bit at the end, and embarrassingly sometimes woke myself up snoring. The teacher used to pointedly remind us to try not to fall asleep as that was not the point, but to deeply relax ,while looking in my direction. Thing was I never knew how long or loud Id snored before I woke up.  Think I might try it again...... Mel xxx ... View more

Hi all All of you who are itching - i have very itchy boob following rads. I'm 6 days post rads now also skin started to peel off today. Finding it difficult to leave the house as can't wear bra and I'm an FF as well.  Just not happy to take them out in public so to speak. Amber - Rod Stwart - so jealous. sounds like you've got a fab weekend planned. Kate- I'm dreaming of hair too! I have a fair smattering that starts to grow then when I have CMF it thins again on top and receeding hairline. It's stuck at about 2 mm. Had to shave legs today though- still no eyelashes! How unfair! Angie - hope you're feeling better after couple of days off. look after yourself. Enjoy centre parcs Sandy- make sure you relax!! Judy - I've had all sorts of pains and tingling/numbness etc for ages after surgery. Most of it has settled down now, but not cmpletely gone. Registrar said it may never go completely, especially round lymph nodes because of nerve damage. It's not bothering me any more though. love to everyone else sleep tight! Mel xxx   ... View more

Hi all Judy glad you're scan was ok- such good news! Sandy hope you enjoy your holiday with no hitches. Enjoy those foot massages! Philomena my boob is also multi coloured but very painful/sore. How many days post rads are you now? Was it painful and isn't now or was it never painful? I'm Also very lumpy, so much so that I asked onc to check it was normal because I do worry that if the tumor was growing back I wouldn't be able to tell. She was vdry reassuring which helped me a bit. Had chemo again yesterday, after a two hour wait. Seems to be a long wait every time now so frustrating. Not the nurses fault just not enough c hairs for the number of people. Went ok, just chilling at home and feeling sick as usual Have a good night angels Love mel xxx ... View more

Whoops! AMBER have great weekend at ideal home. LYNN  hope OH makes it out of bed for holiday weekend! ... View more

Hi angels Thank you all sooo much for all your positive comments. You are all truly wonderful  and I'm feeling better now. Got back to my what will be will be attitude. You all just gave me the lift I needed. Moira I know EXACTLY what you mean about the black nipple. You made me laugh!  OH is off today. Sun is out and we are going for breakfast and a walk before chemo this afternoon.Decided Making the most of every day is the only way for me to cope. Debra-have you finished now, is last cmf today? Good luck if it is. Sandy- we're all here to cheer you on however long it takes. Great that you've helped educate a Radiographer! Lynn- have a great time with OH at ideal home. Pauline- like green and orange but would go for orange- nice and warm for winter. If you keep it just in the accessories you can change them to green when you've had enough! Love to you all Melxxxxx ... View more

Hi all I'm in awe of all you people who are going back to work. i feel so far away now from my job I can't imagine going back. like you Lynn I'm going to have to really build up my strength and stamina before i will be able to cope. I suppose i've still got 2 cycles of chemo to go so i'm a bit behind the rest of you. My pay stops in January, but i don't think i'll be up to going back then, so i'll just have to take longer. i will definitely get a phased return. at the moment i still sleep at some point in every day! feeling quite pathetic! keep thinking i should be trying to eat better, but just can't face it. have just eaten a whole bag of popcorn in bed.   i had last rad today. Thought i'd feel a bit of a high, but it was completely overshadowed by meeting a woman in the clinic whose tumor was back just 2 months after being given the all clear in January. She spent all last year going through this crap, 8 weeks off and then started all over again with a mx. i know this is unusual, but it has really depressed me. My skin under my boob is turning black and nipple, and is v sore. i was given ONE dressing in clinic in case it actually breaks down ( not sure what this actually means) and told to go to gp for more. feeling really miserable so i'll stop before I depress you all! next chemo on Friday- blood count was ok. sleep well angels, Mel xxx ... View more