Breast Cancer Now Forum

If it helps I saw an episode of 24 hours in A & E where a chap had an Xray and they were concerned re shadows which they thought may be cancer.  Turned out to be nothing so try not to worry (easy to say I know). I hope everything turns out well for you.  If you can't share with your family (and I understand why) do you have a close friend who can support you? ... View more

I keep my Tamoxifen on the kitchen counter and have it with my breakfast.  I write the date on the packet so I know if I have taken it.  Good job I read this thread because despite my foolproof system I realise I haven't taken it this morning! ... View more

Hi - I would have a quiet word with the person taking the class and they should be able to advise you.  I started doing Pilates last year and have found it great.  I haven't mentioned my mastectomy as I didn't think it relevant for the kind of exercises we were doing but have mentioned other problems and the trainer has been great at suggesting alternatives where appropriate.  We sometimes do the plank and I have to say I am rubbish at it - not sure whether that's the mastectomy or just general lack of fitness! ... View more

I know this may not be feasible for everyone but I have done something which I have found a massive help workwise.  I have been on Tamoxifen for a couple of years now.  Those years have been pretty stressful for other reasons I won't go into.  However I believe in looking for a silverl lining however hard I have to look (sometimes with a telescope!).  I realised that an indirect side effect of one of the stresses was that I could afford to reduce my hours at work, so I now don't work Wednesday mornings (although it's the kind of job where I still often work more than 40 hours a week).  I have joined a gym and go there, do a pilates class and have a swim.  As I always want value for money I now go on a weekend too!  I feel so much better physically and mentally.   I have lost my uber enthusiasm for work and focus on just doing what needs to be done, because that's my limit these days.  At the begining of the week I know I only have to get through two days.  On a Wednesday I only have to do half a day.  On a Thursday only two days to the weekend!   My close colleagues do know I am affected by the medication - I whinge much more than I used to, but then apologise and say sorry it's those bloody tablets.  If I get on their nerves they are kind enough not to say so and we just up the chocolate rations! ... View more

Is the play you mentioned the one on TV?  I saw a trailer and wanted to watch it but stupidly can't remember what it's called.  I suspect I have missed it and wanted to find it on catch up tv but without a name I am struggling.  Can anyone help? ... View more

I think dealing with stress is like being a bucket (bear with me!).  It's as if you can cope with quite a big stress that nearly fills your bucket up.  If you don't have any stress for while then it starts to evaporate so you can cope with some more stress.  But if your bucket is full, maybe because it hasn't had time to evaporate or it keeps getting topped up then it only needs a drop to make it overflow - queue meltdown caused by a problem that is really not that important in the scheme of things.  When it gets to that point you need help to take away some minor stresses if the big one is out of your hands. ... View more

Lu - I just wanted to say to you that despite all I said my life is better now than before the split.  I'm not saying that would be the case for you, that's a very personal decision, and I wish you the strength and wisdom to make the right one for you at the right time.  Cancer does help to focus the mind doesn't it?   As to the question whether the teenagers could do more to help, yes they could.  The trouble is that the nagging them to do things is incredibly wearing, more tiring than doing things myself, but I do persevere!  They aren't bad really - just teenagers! ... View more

Thank you all so much for your support - and for some very perceptive comments. My ex said I wouldn't be able to cope so I suppose I do feel that I have to prove that I can.  And I do cope, because not coping isn't an option, but I must admit I am the kind of person for whom just coping isn't good enough.  I want to do everything as well as I can but I have tried to be sensible and let the less important things slide.  My family are supportive but my parents are getting on now so I tend to ask them to help when I really need to.   I think you are right about Tamoxifen and cognitive abilities.  I remember my surgeon saying that it can make you feel like you do after a bad night's sleep and I suppose it is a bit like that, just not fully functioning.   I am concerned about asking for Citalopram because my ex took it and it didn't really seem to help him plus I don't want more side effects or to be labelled depressed.  Do you think it really helps? ... View more

Don't forget you can always ask people to help you. I only had one side done but couldn't wash my hair.  Friends and neighbours took it in turns to come and wash it for me, and to be honest I think it made them feel good.  If it was a friend of yours you would want to do what you could to help no doubt, so let them do the same for you.  Women tend to find giving easier than taking but you are giving people an opportunity to feel good by helping you! ... View more

What's wrong with radical anyway?  I was offered WLE with rads or MX and I opted for MX because I just wanted it over and done with and didn't fancy the rads at all.  My surgeon and nurse were happy to go with what I wanted as long as I was making an informed decision.  After my op my surgeon told me it was bigger than they had thought and so he thought I had probably made a good decision (I wouldn't have had much boob left after they had taken the lump and margins).  I also opted for no reconstruction as to me possible problems with my back was a worse thing to contemplate than no boob.  I had my op in March last year and am now used to the new me and putting my boob on in my bra every morning.  It is rare now that I think about it until I get undressed again.   Go with what feels right to you because you are the one who lives with the consequences of your decision. Whichever way you choose I hope all goes well for you. ... View more

It is a while since I have been on the forum and I found this thread quite thought provoking and the original article really interesting.  I am what you might call a glass half full person, which could be annoying to others!  I think it all comes down to the need of the indvidual and the ability to read that need, which can only come from listening and understanding.   Before my diagnosis I felt there was a chance I had breast cancer and although that was a concern it wasn't even on the first page of my worry list.  When I went for my mammogram and they went on to do ultrasound and biopsies I thought there was now a strong chance I had breast cancer and it became a worry, but one I didn't know how to evaluate.  When I saw the registrar before I left and pressed him to confirm whether "looks abnormal" meant it was probably cancer then I knew I needed to be prepared for the diagnosis.   So I did my research and decided my chances were very good of achieving a more positive prognosis than death (!) and that there was a range of likely outcomes, some a lot better than others.  When I received my diagnosis I was therefore able to feel happy/lucky that although I had cancer, treatment was available and I seemed to be at the favourable end of the range.  I looked at my options and decided to go for full mastectomy and sentinel node biopsy rather than WLE and have to have rads.  I knew that if the biopsy was clear I wouldn't have to have chemo.  It was clear and again I told myself how lucky I was.   For me it was the right thing to regard the loss of my breast as a small price to pay to avoid rads/chemo/ongoing worries about the cancer still lurking.  For another person that loss would be huge and be an enormous psychological blow.   So for someone talking to me, a blunt conversation along the lines of "it's better than losing something useful like an arm or a leg" would be hugely supportive of my decision.  For someone else saying that would be incredibly hurtful and belittling of their loss, which to them is much greater than mine.  Someone who has felt that loss would be best placed to advise but does their conversation need to be along the lines of "I can understand how difficult it must be to you, not just to undergo the physical treatment but also that loss of part of your femininity, and to have the worry of it coming back.  You need to allow yourself to grieve, we can understand your sadness.  If you want to talk about it I am here to listen".   Are we good at communicating our support needs or do we just expect others to know, and if so is that a bit harsh?  Would I have known how to support someone in a similar situation - I am not sure I would.  I might have been one of those people saying "Try to stay positive" as a way of showing I cared and was being supportive.  When people say "Stay positive" I think the majority have read that positivity is a good thing and they are trying to be supportive in an untrained/inexperienced way, and who would think that "I'm worried you are going to die" is a good thing to say, apart from children (who need to express that fear and be reassured).   Maybe we need to feed back to people who say the wrong thing so they will better know how to support us and others in future?  Maybe not people who we don't know very well, but those close to us.  Perhaps it is for us to provide the training for friends and family. ... View more

Hi - I asked my surgeon when I went for my final post op check up whether Tamoxifen could be making me more irritable and he said it could.  If you think how our moods can alter with a normal monthly cycle it makes sense that mucking about with our hormones could make us super moody.  I have told the people I work closely with that if I am being Mrs Grumpy it's just the tablets and they should ignore me!  I also try and remind myself that I need to not get worked up about things that in the past I would have just let go. ... View more

You need to ask your doctor for a form to fill in and then you should get an exemption certificate.  It is bad that no one told you about this - it's one of the few silver linings in the clouds, not having to pay for prescriptions!  It is bad enough having to pay for special bras, swim prosthesis, special swimming costumes etc! ... View more

Hi Lols, I didn't have ANC but sunburn type feeling sounds just like what I had a couple of weeks after my MX. Nothing touching my skin was fine and a constant pressure on it was better than anything lightly brushing it which did feel just like something touching sunburn. So oddly a snug fitting sleeve may help. It does wear off - one day you will suddenly think when did that stop hurting? If it's really bad they can prescribe tablets to help. ... View more

Jmeg, With regards to your mum don't forget that you are still her daughter that she loves, and most mums would rather take on the worst pain themselves than see their child suffer. That doesn't go away at any point from what I see. My mum has been so anxious about me even though she has her own health concerns. I think the best thing you can do is have regular contact so she can see you are really ok and not just saying you are and allow her to help you in whatever way she can, I think that will make her feel better. Mind you my mum still thinks I am putting on a brave face and not telling her the whole truth! ... View more

Tonsky, I had my op on 1 March and when I got my proper prosthesis I told myself that one day it would feel normal, not the same normal as before, but a new normal and I think I am almost there with that. I can now lie on my bad side but not with my arm under the pillow like I used to so that's another new normal. ... View more

I had my first post MX swim today almost 3 months after the op. The shower pouffe thing worked fine for me. I think it's best to let it drain before getting out of the pool though as I had a sudden rush of water when I got out quickly. I had an M&S post MX costume which was fine. I was a 14 when I got it and bought a 16 as someone said they were very tight fitting (to hold wobbly bits in I think). However because I have been under a bit of stress recently (having decided that cancer wasn't enough and I would opt to get divorced too) I have lost one and and half stone in the last month and dropped down to a 12 so it was perhaps a little loose at the top - when I looked down I could see that one boob was in the skin and one in the costume if you know what I mean. I wondered whether other people could see and then decided that if they could and they had a problem with it then they had the problem not me! I felt really good after the swim especially when I did the back crawl. I am determined to find time to swim (in all that spare time I will have being a single mum working a 50-60 hour week!). I would encourage anyone who is thinking of swimming but worried about it to just get out there and do it - I am sure you will feel better for it. ... View more

It might be a good idea to repost on the newly diagnosed thread because I think a lot of people start there and possibly stick there for a while. ... View more