Breast Cancer Now Forum

Just when you thought she'd finished ... I'm also going to take advantage of some psychiatric help which my hospital offers cancer patients. Just because I think I'm coping OK doesn't mean I am. See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams and minimal SEs to all. Good luck to everyone starting next week. Have I already said this? Blame it on the steroids! xx ... View more

Just popped in form the July Junkies to say that the advice we're being given re yoghurt is because of non-pasturisation. It's the same advice given to pregnant women I think. It doesn't affect the chemo in any way but might affect you. So the advice is don't eat anything dairy that hasn't been pasturised, blue cheeses, cook everything thoroughly. Make sure if you eat out or get takeaways you totally trust the kitchen. My nurst didn't recommend chinese, but thought indian would be ok if I could tolerate the speices etc. etc. Personally I shall carry on eating live yoghurt but avoid it during the middle week of the 3 week cycle when we're at our most vulnerable. Hope that helps. ... View more

Cycle 1 FEC-T, day 3 Good afternoon ladies. I'm so sorry everyone seems to be feeling really down this afternoon. I have no doubt that the durgs (or even drugs) play a major part in how we feel. I've not started the steriod jabs, so not looking forward to any of that judging by the above comments, but the steroids that I am taking orally are making me feel really good. Obviously it's too soon for anything horrid to hit me, but I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. And that seems to be the thread running through this cr*p journey we're all on. Waiting for dx, waiting for surgery, waiting for chemo, waiting for SEs. The way I'm planning on dealing with this, famous last words, is today I feel fine and that's good enough. Tomorrow if I feel cr*p, I will try and think to myself that the next day might be better. I shall try and live in the moment and not look too far ahead. I'm not making any plans for anything other than a couple of theatre trips already booked. My life is on hold, but I am lucky. I can do that. My step children are 18 and 21 respectively and live with their mother. My parents (both in 80s) live with us and their horizons have shrunk considerably in the last two years. So apart from them and my darling OH I don't have to consider anyone else. Not really. And my friends totally understand. I do appreciate that so far I have been very lucky. Which is lovely for me but I really wish I could pass my sense of acceptance on to everyone who's dealing with so much worse than I am. I keep thinking this is the calm before the s**t storm hits, and possibly it is. And so we're back to waiting again. I have the biggest pile of ironing I've ever seen waiting for my attention. Luckily the steroids will mean that I can probably zip right through it,so I' better crack on. Really I don't feel that anything I've said will help anyone, but for those having their first session in the next few days, the anticipation was worse than event. Your chemo nurse will answer any questions you may have and will make you feel as good as you can about what's happening to you. Fear of the unknown is so debilitating. But once you've done the first one you will know what to expect next time. Having the PICC line made it so easy for me, so if they haven't offered it to you, it may be worth asking if you can have one for the next round. Sorry, war and bl**y peace again. Blame it on the fact that I can type 100 wpm! Hope all who are in a dark place emerge into the light tomorrow. Sorry chezapp just seen your question. Steriod injections haven't started yet. Tuesday. So watch for the grrrr posts thereafter. xx ... View more

FEC-T Cycle 1, Day 2 Evening all Juliemb and Marion09 glad you're having a better day. long may it continue. Pollyanne, hope you've finally got some relief. Chezapp, the red freaked me out too. And it's the b****** that's going to make our hair fall out. But I drank loads and it was out of my system by this morning. As I was going to bed last night feeling more and more nauseous I suddenly remembered the ginger biscuits I'd bought just for such an occasion. Less than 5 minutes after chomping one down the nausea disappeared. Magic. So that's my top tip as it also worked mid-morning today. Have felt pretty good today, although my Jerimiah friend reminded me that's it's only day 2 and things will get worse! She really cracks me up - when I don't want to kill her that is. I know she's trying to keep me grounded, she went through all this 10 years ago and has been a source of solid information and support.I also know she loves me. But sometimes I just want to be able to be totally unrealistic about this journey. Anyway a good day today. Started with our usual dog walk, then I had a shower and did a pedicure and manicure. My chemo nurse told me to wear two coats of solid coloured nail polish to stop the sun getting through to my nails as it can affect them badly. This might only refer to the T part of my FECT-T treatment, but as I can't quite remember I thought I'd start today. And it's already started to chip off. Which is why I don't usually bother with colours! OH took my aged parents (who live with us) shopping and then we all (inc dog) went to the village flower show for an hour or so and saw a few friends and acquaintances who all know my situation. Without exception they all said how well I was looking which was lovely. I asked them all to tell me that in 2 months time regardless of what I looked like. Although not very sleepy, steroids I expect although I took the last one before 2, I shall go to bed with the same audio book I've been falling asleep to for the last 3 weeks and hope I can get through more than the half a chapter I've been re-listening to for days lol! Hope Priinm and Beneditcus are both OK, and the rest of the JJs. sweet dreams all. xx ... View more

Good evening. Thanks for all good wishes fellow Junkies. Well one down and 5 to go. I got a bit upset when the first red chemical was about to go in and the nurse asked a very good question. "What exactly are you upset about?" I'm really not someone who looks inwards but I thought about it and realised that it was a whole host of things. Mainly that up until now I've been really healthy and the drugs that are going to help save my life are the things that are actually potentially going to make me feel quite ill. And despite god knows how many anti-nausea pills I do feel a bit sick. I've been drinking loads. I also just feel a bit odd. Not in pain just not well. Can't remember who asked about supplements, I've been taking some for years and my onc is happy for me to continue so I will, if I can. Not sure I could keep them down tonight tho. Marion09 sounds like your ex is unreliable (!) so best not to involve him. Sounds like you have good friends so perhaps you could to rely on them instead. Off to bed now and hope I feel better in the morning. Sweet dreams and minimal SEs, junkies. xx ... View more

Good evening fellow junkies. Had meeting with onc before having picc line put in. She was lovely, as has everyone who’s dealt with me so far been to be fair, and answered some questions. Most reassuringly she said that I would have ultrasounds as well as mammograms in the future. Hadn’t realised how much the fact the mammogram didn’t pick up the cancer was preying on my mind. Had the picc line put in this afternoon and although it wasn’t pleasant it’s now done and dusted. Darling OH is going to clean the wound every day and flush the line every week so I don’t need to rely on DNs. But it looks like I’m going to have to be stabbed by 86 year old after all. Funnily enough now that I know about future ultrasounds and the picc line being in I’m not so bothered about first cycle of FEC tomorrow. All the professionals I’ve met seem to think that because I’m fit and not overweight (thank you Horizon and Michael Moseley) the SEs shouldn’t be too bad and that anything that does crop up they can manage and minimise. Hmmn, we’ll see ... Wig was here when we got back and must say it looks pretty good. At lease feel that I’ll be able to step out the door with confidence. Welcome russetapple. One week in to your journey. Hope it continues to be a smooth path. I’m trying to take the view that my old life is on pause for a few months, and I’ll press the start button again in the new year. That’s not even six months. Juliemb and pollyanne I had an incision in my armpit and 5 weeks on the scar hardly shows. Although I’ve still got what feels like a golf ball in my armpit. I’ve also carefully shaved it with OH’s wet razor, although he doesn’t know that! Orangecat 2 down, only 4(?) to go. Hope the SEs are minimal. Hattie you are brave. You’re reacting normally to what is a totally abnormal situation. Of course losing our hair is traumatic. I can’t face shaving mine off completely, well done. Nazgirl what is the neublasta injection? Is it something we can all look forward to ha! Your OH sounds like a star, so is mine. It makes a huge difference to have that support. Marion 09 well done on getting through the first one. As you say only 5 more to go. We came home with a big bag of stuff today for the picc line, so looking forward to another one of drugs tomorrow lol! Pollyanne if you’re still stuck try some linseeds. I was bunged up for nearly 5 days after surgery because of the codeine but a combination of shredded wheat and tinned prunes liberally sprinkled with linseeds (Holland & Barrett sell them) sorted it out. So I’ve made sure I’ve got a couple more tins of prunes just in case. Be just my luck to have the opposite problem. Can’t remember who was asking about pick a picc line but if you type “pick a picc line cover” into the search engine of your choice you should get a link to them on facebook and other sites. I’ve bought a multi-pack of 3 and they arrived really quickly. Off to bed now, need to gird loins for tomorrow. Sweet dreams my fellow junkies. x ... View more

Chezzapp I'm with you on the hair loss. Had mine cut really short in anticipation and am waiting for wig. Haven't ordered any scarves or hats yet. I absolutely hate wearing anything on my head so that's going to be interesting! I'm desperately hoping I don't have to jab myself, but although i haven't got a vet i have got an 86 year old retired Army nurse who is on call! Oh Pollyanne it wasn't an amazing memory, if only lol. I wrote the text in MS Word and kept flipping backwards and forwards between that and this website. Spending some time reading up on what I need supplies-wise to cope with the chemo. The list on this site is so useful, but I really really resent having to do this. Am now having to face up to the reality of my situation which I've been avoiding for weeks, and it's very difficult. But lovely junkies, I'm sure you've all been there and got the T-shirt so you know exactly how I feel. x ... View more

Brilliant, but sorry you've had to wait for such a long time. Still, onwards and upwards and you've got hair loss to look forward to now haha x ... View more

Blimey, you go away for a few days and there are pages of posts to read. Where to start. Prionm, the royal baby is a really big deal here, the BBC cancelled the scheduled programmes on its main channel for an evening of stuff about the then imminent birth. Personally, although it’s great everything went well with the birth I think the world’s gone mad! I lived in Middlesex for my first 26 years, near Wembley. I do hope you’re feeling better today/tomorrow – no idea what the time diff is. Chezzap like your pinball analogy. It’s exactly how I feel. I’ll be starting this Friday, so just ahead of you. Are you going to have Tamoxifen? If you’re concerned about the 8 cycles instead of 6, do ask your onc why. GillyR Totally understand how you feel about chemo, I also feel that my life as I’ve lived it is about to end (I’m 63, so I’ve been living it a long time lol!). But I’ll take everything they want to throw at BC. Pollyanne, Juliemb Glad you’re feeling OKish at the moment. It really helps to know how others cope, as I’m just as scared as you were. Well I guess as we all are. Nazgirl It never ceases to amaze me when so-called friends behave in ways that shock when you need help. All you can do is cherish those who are proving to be an unexpected support. Hattie this disease attacks everything that makes us feminine so no wonder we all obsess about losing our hair. I’ve just had mine cut really short in preparation and am trying to focus on the fact that it’s only for a few months, but it’s not really working! Tasha101 My beloved OH is coming to the first session, and various friends have volunteered to drive me for the rest. I haven’t turned them down because they really want to be involved and feel useful but I expect I could drive myself. Jesus, I hope I won’t have to inject myself. No-one’s mentioned it yet. Of course you must stay with the Junkies. All welcome here. Marion09 It’s so hard at first when a long term relationship ends. Was it mutual, or your choice? My first marriage ended after 24 years, and I used to see ex every week. Eventually realised that if I was going to move on I had to stop seeing him so regularly. I do understand how you feel, especially during this totally crap time, but I wonder if for your own emotional wellbeing you have others who could do the things you want him to do. If he’s not keen that will just make you feel worse. It sounds as though you’ve got great kids and friends. Orangecat top tip about keeping a towel by the front door. I shall do the same. Hope it’s going as well as possible for you. Benedictus So glad you got some fantastic news (what’s NED?). It’s never too early for a celebratory G&T in my opinion. So no more surgery but chemo for you I guess. Definitely an honorary Junkie! At least you’ll finally have a plan in place soon. When do you see the onc? Positivelady Thanks for your reassuring comments about the picc line. I’m having one put in tomorrow and I’m really apprehensive, although I know it’s the right decision. Kazzieba. Welcome. If you’re talking about an MRI, bone or CT scan, then they’re not a problem. The MRI one goes in through a canula and takes about 10 mins. The worst bit is how nolisy it is. The CT and bone scans are just injections. I had to drink loads after the injection for a bone scan. Debsalicious Glad you’re starting to feel better again. Audio books are a godsend when you feel too rubbish to turn a page. Crazibabe Welcome to the club none of us wants to be a member of. Good luck tomorrow, I start on Friday so we’re only just July Junkies. I’m on FEC-T as well, radiotherapy and then Tamoxifen for 5 years. Phew, another marathon post, sorry if I’ve left anyone out. Not sure I’m going to be able to do many more of these! Such a lot for everyone else to read. Really dreading the next two days, but I know it’s got to be endured to ensure my long-term survival. God that sounds sanctimonious, but I'm sure you recognise the sentiment. Here’s wishing us all the minimum amount of pain and SEs for the next few months. x ... View more

good evening Junkies. Just a quick visit this evening as we're out to dinner with friends shortly. Had a fab time at the Larmer Tree Festival, felt like i'd got "me" back for a few days. Came crashing back to earth when got home to find letter from hosp with appointment to see an oncologist on Thursday morning, before I have the picc line put in in the afternoon. I've never had the pathology or my scans explained to me and I want a better answer than "unfortunately mammograms don't pick up everything" because the tumour was 10.2 cms, yes cms! How was that missed, especially when I'd already told them it was there. So looks like we're going to be at the hosp most of the day Thursday and Friday. Had my hair cut really really short today in preparation for the hair loss. Luckily it doesn't look too awful, and at least there won't be loads of hair left on the pillow. Will post again tomorrow. Good luck to everyone starting tomorrow. x ... View more

This is a very informative thread, thanks to Revcat and Roadrunner for responding. Is there anyone who has had a DIEP reconstruction who would share their experience? I hope I'm not highjacking ohbaby's thread, but I thought she might like to know about how all the recon options feel, as well me. ... View more

Good evening ladies. Another warm evening nr Stonehenge. Wow Nazgirl. How brilliant for you. Are you on FEC-T or some other concoction? I agree, for me the psychological aspect of this journey has been worse than the reality, so far. I start Fri week and the closer it gets the more apprehensive I’m starting to feel. Rhubarb it’s good to hear other people’s reactions to these drugs, although I’m sorry yours are so many. I’ll be on the same regime as you. I know we’re all different so I’m not necessarily going to feel the same as anyone else, but it does help to know what might happen. Salad Jules that was a long day. My app is at 9.00 so I guess I should expect for OH and I to be there for most of the day. Nel42 hope you continue to do well. Thanks for the info about the PICC line, I feel a bit better about it now. Senga and Debalicious, hope you’re both doing OK. Senga, thanks for letting us know your experience in such detail. It’s definitely fear of the unknown that’s affecting me. Pollyanne, hope you don’t need the wig but glad people are impressed. I just hope mine doesn’t look like something dead plonked on my head! They didn’t have a sample for me to try on. How’s everyone else doing? Benedictus, Pironm, Orangecat? I’m getting quite excited about going to the Larmer Tree. Be just what I need to take my mind of all this medical crap. I hate camping, but we’ve got an enormous tent and hurrah, it doesn’t sound as though it’s going to rain. How lucky is that. Sweet dreams junkies. Hope we all have a restful night. x ... View more

Afternoon ladies. Struggling a bit with the heat today, hardly a breathe of wind so practising lying on sofa ready for chemo SEs! Orangecat, glad you’re feeling good. Good news is still good news, no matter who it’s about. Lois, I went to Hair clinic today, although hair will be around for approx another 4 weeks. I’m dreading my hair coming out, so I’m having it cut really short next Tues ready for chemo on 26. Can’t bear the thought of getting up and leaving my hair on the pillow. I don’t suppose it will be that dramatic, but I have a very active imagination lol. Have chosen a wig, but they’re sending me two because they didn’t have a sample and my hair is naturally very fair. I just have to take what I don’t want back to hosp. Wig is heavily subsidised but nevertheless having cancer isn’t cheap. Haven’t got any turbans/bandanas/scarves yet, suppose I must focus on that next week. Benedictus, how are you doing? How appalling that you’re facing more surgery. Judging by the amount of women having more than one operation, I don’t think they take big enough margins. Hope your third op is finally the last one.. Pollyanne, the waiting is absolutely the worst bit. I thought about cold cap, but then thought no if I’m having to go through all this sh*t I want the chemo to get to every single molecule! But we’re all different and I hope it works for you. The thing about BC is that it affects the two most important elements that single us out as being women. I can’t think of any disease that affects men in such a visual way. Nell42 how did you get on with your PICC line? I’m having mine put in Thursday week. You’re having your treatment back to front then? Chemo then surgery. Fingers crossed it makes a massive difference to the surgery. Amandamangus it is frightening when they tell you one thing, and then it turns out to be the opposite. I hoped that because all my scans were clear that I might avoid chemo. No such luck. I think most of us are more scared of the chemo than surgery. Pollyanne, welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. I’m hoping the apprehension I’m feeling about the chemo will turn out be unfounded – pause for hollow laughter. Welcome, welcome welcome to everyone else. This just such a sh*t time for all of us, but hopefully we can support one another. For now, I’m going to concentrate on the lovely weather and the prospect of letting my hair down at Larmer Tree, while I still have it hahaha! x ... View more

Good afternoon everyone. Can’t believe it’s still sunny and warm. Prionm, it could almost be California here! I hope your first session wasn’t too nerve-wracking and you’re holding up. Do let us know how you’re getting on. Welcome Nell42. No idea what a MUGA scan is but pleased that yours are clear. I’m having a PICC line as well. Be interested to hear how that procedure goes. At least you have a clear baseline to start from and so you know the chemo is your insurance policy. Marion09 that all sounds pretty good to me. Chemo and rads seem to be automatic if lymph nodes are involved. We’re on the same regime so be interesting to compare notes. You’re welcome to stay on as an honorary July Junkie! Hope the weather holds for your Devon holiday, it’s a lovely part of the country. Welcome Tasha101. I can beat your 9cm tumour, mine was 10.2 cm! I had 8 out of 15 nodes affected but my bone and ct scans were clear. Phew! Surely as all your lymph nodes were affected you’ll be having bone and ct scans as well? If not, you should ask why not. Not knowing whether it has spread is the most worrying aspect, and the scans will put your mind at rest. Have you had a temporary implant or are you waiting for reconstruction after treatment? A nursing friend told me it might help to try and think that yes, all those lymph nodes were affected but that only means they were doing their job. It certainly helped me deal with my fears before I had the results of the scans. Hurrah! Our tickets for the Larmer Tree Festival have just arrived and the weather looks set to at least be dry. How fab. Hope everyone else is having a good day, and those who have already started the chemo journey are feeling OK. x ... View more

Morning all. Another gorgeous day nr Stonehenge. Spent afternoon at hosp talking all things chemotherapy and I think it's finally sinking in that I have a life-threatening disease and chemotherapy is a really serious business. My OH is astounded that even after MX I wasn't really taking it seriously. But I wasn't. I just thought oh chemo, that's 6 months of feeling seriously sh*tty then life goes back to normal. But I'm not so sure about that now. I hadn't realised that infection is very possible as I'm having a PICC line, and that it could kill me. Really, how stupid am I? I know I'm a blonde, but really ... I'm an intelligent woman and I've done some research so I should have been able to apply what I've read to my situation, but somehow I haven't made that connection. Anyway I'm not going to beat myself up, all my scans were negative, the tumour has been removed, it's lovely weather, I feel extremely well (how ironic!), and treatment doesn't start until 26 July. So my darling OH and I are joining a group of friends at the Larmer Tree Festival next week where I intend to have a very very good time. OH and I have been following the 5:2 restricted calorie diet that Dr Michael Mosely did a Horizon programme about last year, and it has worked brilliantly for us. Mentioned that I thought I'd keep doing it and both Onc and nurse yesterday horrified, so perhaps I won't. Apparently eating could be a problem because of taste changes and sore mouth, and they want me to eat as much as I can. Frankly, i can't bear the thought of piling on the pounds because it's taken me the best part of a year to get the figure I've always wanted, but OH says they're the professionals and I should do what I'm told. Really difficult for a bossy, control freak like me! Sorry, waffling on about nothing and this is turning into War and Peace, again lol! So for Benedictus' list, I start 3 x FEC, 3 x FEC-T on Thursday, 26th July. My niece's birthday, so not a date I'm likely to forget in a hurry! I hope everyone who's started is feeling OK, and that all of us about to start aren't feeling too nervous. I keep trying to tell myself it's only until Christmas, and it will save my life. xx ... View more

Welcome to all newcomers. Thanks for the PICC info Artemis, it's really useful as it looks like I'll be having one. Just looked up exactly what it is - eek! I am so naive about all this. Well we all were, weren't we. I'm lucky in that I can ignore stuff right up until the last moment, but I've got afternoon at hosp with OH tomorrow meeting chemo nurses and watching an hour long presenttion about it all. So I'm OK at the moment, but I'll be in a right old state by the time we get to the hosp. I keep forgetting to ask for copies of my various scan results and pathology report, but then I wonder if I really want to know the true extent of it all, and would I understand it anyway? Debsalicious I'm having rads after chemo, but the chemo is the same asyours. I think I start on 18th July, but I'll find out tomorrow. I had a call from one of the support team this morning to check that I was OK after my meltdown last Thurs before I got the results of the scans. So far I can't fault any of my teatment or the staff. Long may it continue! Had a shower this morning and as I was starting new bottle of shampoo realised that I'll probably have lost my hair before the bottle is finished. Those sorts of realisations really p*** me off. So does the thought that I'll have to have the tissue expander for at least year. It's not very comfortable. Off to do front of house for a film show in our village hall shortly so better get my skates on. Have a good evening fellow Junkies. x ... View more

It's a lovely day here near Stonehenge. Husband off work so we took my aged Ps shopping, which is an expedition in itself. They live with us and I must say it's all much easier when OH is with me when we all go out. Please add me to the list Benedictus. I'm going to be on FEC x 3 and FEC-T x 3, then rads and Tamoxifen. Oh and I'm having a line put in. Think she said PICC but can't quite remember. Not sure when that's starting, but I suspect it will be the 18th. Having got the excellent news about the scans OH and I are hitting Bristol with friends for a big night out to celebrate. OH has racked up millions of brownie points for volunteering to drive us home tonight so we don't have to find someone to look after puppy (well she's nearly 2, but still mad as a box of frogs). So I intend to fall into a vat of gin! Looking forward to some calm before the chemo storm hits! Have a good weekend everyone. At least for us the waiting for results is over. xx ... View more

Hi ThinLizzie. The waiting is the worst bit, but at least they're not hanging around with you. My advice is don't google anything, that way madness lies as you're already finding out. It's best to get your information from this site and the helpline or forum, or the Macmillan site is good as well apparently. The mri scan is unpleasant, not because it hurts but because it's like having a pnuematic (sp?) drill going off beside your ear. Mine took nearly an hour but was worth every tortuous second because it confirmed I only had cancer in one breast (which i already knew) not both. Your team are taking no chances with you and you may find you're one of the lucky ones. Lavenderlassie is right, when the multi-disciplinary team meet and talk about the various cases the suggested tests / treatment can change. It doesn't necessarily mean it's anything sinister, just that they want to do the best for what you are presenting them with. The waiting is the worst part. I got through the 3 weeks or so I had to wait for the initial diagnosis by thinking that "it is what it is, I just don't know what that is yet". Worrying isn't going to change what already is, so try and push it away and fill your time and thoughts with pleasant things. And you know what? Even if it isn't good news, it most certainly isn't a death sentence either. There are lots and lots of treatments available already, with plenty more in the pipeline so they can keep you going for years. I hope you get good news. ... View more

Good evening. So went for results of bone and ct scan and treatment plan this morning. Had bit of a meltdown whilst waiting to see onc and the first words she said when we went into her office were "all your scans are clear". Talk about relief. For one miraculous moment thought this meant I wouldn't have chemo, regrettably not. So 3 lots of FEC 3 of FEC-T and rads. Frankly I don't care. Bring on the chemo, I know it's going to be horrible but the sooner it starts the sooner it's over. Got pre-chemo assessment next week. Must go and eat, while I can lol! x ... View more