Breast Cancer Now Forum

You could target your local hospice as that's where we got ours. ... View more

Dove house hospice (our local hospice)do a knitted toy. They give one to children (and adults if wanted) and one to the person who is terminal. The terminal person takes it with them when they are cremated/buried (my mum did) and the remaining family take theirs home. The idea is that you give it a hug when you miss the person and they'll be hugging theirs (they put it in mums coffin when she was at rest). I take mine to bed - I just turned 41 (!) but lost my mum in September. My son has his in his memory box and gets me mine if he sees me sad. He's only 4. ... View more

I just wanted to add something from the view of someone who hasn't had the cancer but worried like this about my mum. My mum had primary breast cancer, prognosis wasn't the best at first as it was big, but then as it was only in two nodes, they said she was in good position. Now I am a worrier with a capital W! But I (and my mum) had to hope for the best. We somehow learnt to accept it wasn't coming back, unless told otherwise. It was always on the back of our minds though, but we convinced ourselves it may be ok. Mums cancer retuned and she passed within 6 weeks (this is rare - mums had become triple negative and v aggressive)It was much more complicated than two nodes though (they removed wrong nodes etc). However what I want to say is - trusting that she would be ok was the best thing we did. We could've worried non stop, or we could enjoy life and do more things 'just in case'. We did the latter and I am so pleased we did that and didn't let it rule our life. Again I am a mega worrier but I learnt not to let it rule me, until I had to. I truly hope you never have to cope with the return. I also wish all the rest of you the best with your treatment. Xx ... View more

Hi I know I am if no use to you all now but seen the post so thought I'd say hello. In centre parcs at the moment - my 41st birthday - today.My mum was booked into be here too :-(. I lost the necklace my mum and I chose before she died. A miracle links necklace. My husband dropped it in changing rooms - within two minutes it was gone and nobody handed it in. I'm disgusted - I'd always hand anything in. I've just put a hand written sign up explaining with a £100 reward. Hope you are all doing well and getting ready for Christmas. Had a look over your threads. I think intricacies of results are so hard to use for prediction. My mum - we had no idea what was coming. Others - results worse but the outcome is much better. I know it's hard not to analyse everything, hard not to focus on the bad, but it just makes your precious time a worrying time. If you can, appreciate you're still here and with family. I understand that's so hard with the diagnosis but none of us know what is going to happen. I didn't know last year (also in centre parcs but with my mum) that this year she would be gone from my life. I did so much with her in the last year, but had I known - I would've made it even better. So just make it all the BEST! You all deserve it. Drink, eat, holiday - whatever makes you happy. My mum was careful with her money - left to me and my sister (I'd give it all up and every penny and my house to have her back). I would have preferred her to spend it - have fun wth it. She started to enjoy it too as she thought she had one year, but was gone 6 weeks later. She shouldn't have waited. Xx ... View more

I drop by every time I see a comment has been posted to see how you all are xx ... View more

Still checking in on you all. My mum hated the dark nights too. Pleased she saw some summer. The day out i had with her was London, drinking prosecco and cocktails in the sunshine before we went to the ritz for afternoon tea. Was lovely and at this point she didn't feel too bad. Hope you all manage to make the most of things despite the cold weather and dark nights xx ... View more

Stresshead - good that you haven't had other symptoms. If it's cancer related then maybe it's only the bone - I know not good but not life threatening like leptomeningeal spread. My mums was so aggressive hat she never stood a chance but I have read that they can inject chemo into the csf for people it would be benefical to so I guess there is a benefit to knowing as early as possible. Thanks Marirose. The consultant confirmed pretty much what I was thinking but at least now there's not question marks hanging above it all. Hope you're all doing ok xx ... View more

Hi all   Stresshead - I'm sorry you are worrying so much about leptomingeal spread - I feel a little responsible for putting that extra worry on you by telling you about my mum etc. It really may not be that. Do you have any other symptoms - vague headache that never really clears (although could be stress also), leg weakness, foot numbness? If you can, try not to assume it's anything until you know - otherwise you're using days worrying when you could be enjoying - as far as that is possible for you.   I had an appt with mums oncologist today. She was very nice. I asked about how they can be sure it is breast cancer in the skin seeing as it lost it's receptors, confirmed that her symptoms at the end were infact the spread and not peripheral neuropathy, discussed it's agressiveness - she told me that she had not even seen a burden of cancer like my mums on the CT scan. I know the largest tumour on there was 5mm but there were many nodules in lung, kidney, skin and adrenal - must have been so many for her to say that. She said she had no idea why it became so aggressive. I told her that they said 12-18 months and that mum only had 6 weeks - therefore I hope some other woman gets that time that my mum never and goes way beyond that 18 months.  She told me to get in touch should I have any other questions. I did cry a bit - it was a little overwhelming being in the clinic without my mum as in all the previous times, and talking about her rapid deterioration. Again though, like the funeral speech, it was something I needed to do.   Hope youre all having quality time in whatever you are doing and are not stressing too much. I know that sounds a bit silly - but it's just that stressing until the end, even if thats years away, is not making the most of time. But again, easier said than done, I know.    lots of love xxx ... View more

Sorry to hear about your mum Lesley. I lost my mum to breast cancer almost 4 weeks ago and it's still hard to believe if. Feels like yesterday. Xx ... View more

I know that the skin mets are stressful as they're a constant reminder of what's happening. My mum was developing new ones every day or two. Mums was clearly v aggressive though. She had three on her head but the rest were very spread around. I panicked about the head ones but then read it's still skin mets only and has no increased risk of going to the brain. Mums leptomeningeal spread went internally from the spine (not from a skin spinal met). Hope you all manage to carry on enjoying yourselves as much as possible and put this awful disease to the back of your minds whenever possible. Xxx ... View more

Hi mo My little boy is still wide awake - little monkey. I suspect that pre school sometimes let him nap during the day. Marirose - good news if there is some shrinking. How many do you have? My mums got too difficult to count - they didn't get to ulcerating stage though. -just nodules. I have an appointment to see her oncology consultant next week - I have a few unanswered questions that I need to ask. Xxx ... View more

Hi fornymum I got your message today and will reply as soon as my little one is asleep. I conversed with many lovely ladies on here - mostly those going through what our mums have been through. I still check in on the forum as i don't feel like I can let it go just because my mum has now sadly gone. Hi all - hope you are all doing ok as possible.its been a while since any of you posted on here Xx ... View more

My mum had a positive lymph node at diagnosis. Due to this and a large breast tumour size, she had chemo first then slnb to check effectiveness of chemo. As all 4 nodes that they removed were cancer free, they decided to not do a full clearance nor give radiotherapy to the axilla. A few months later the cancer was back in the node. They said it was the original node and somehow the wrong ones were removed. They then did full clearance and only 2 out of all 15 nodes (including the original 4 taken) showed cancer (no scar tissue in remaining 13 either). They 2 were matted together so probably was these two all along. Her CT scan was clear at this point so no further treatment required. Sadly mum developed secondaries a few months later and passed away this month. There is no way of knowing whether leaving the nodes in resulted in this spread, or whether it had already spread(in spite of the negative ct scan - wouldn't show small dormant cells). Knowing what happened to my mum I personally would opt for full clearance in the future. But this is because I've been scarred by the whole process that occurred. My mum didn't want lymphadoema either but in hindsight it's incomparable to loss of life. I'm not trying to scare anyone - just something to think about as its changed my views should I find myself in this position. Xx ... View more

Frankincense - not cancer related but my husband suffers from folloculitis of the scalp. I got him this from Holland and Barrett's (and put in the carrier oil) and it cleared his condition up as well as the antibiotics he was given months previously. I am a microbiologist by the way (I work with bacteria) and I was impressed by how it worked so it is definitely worth a try xx ... View more

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still checking in and reading. Mums funeral was yesterday. I managed to get up and give a little speech about my life with her, our latest memories and the final conversations we had. I wanted to tell everyone that she wanted to live on in people's minds and memories. I still care and feel for what you are all going through and is why I am still going to check in and read. You are all wonderful and strong, regardless of whether you decide to carry on fighting, or decide to stop putting yourself through the treatment. Both decisions take bravery. Xx ... View more

Hi all It's maybe not my place to input here but I just wanted to share my feelings as a member of the family experiencing it. My mum want to fight - but it was only her first fight with chemo for secondary spread and she had had such a bad experience with her first treatment. I am devastated to lose my mum. But I also see all of your fights and I was so worried for my mum as I felt she was going to fight for us (me and my sister).I have a sense of relief that she isn't going through that. However I admire your fight - and I'd do the same. But...having chemo to end in the same place must be beyond disheartening and I can see why so many of you decide not to fight. You have to go with what your heart tells you and your family should understand. Xx Xxx ... View more