Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello All   I know too well the disappointment you're feeling as I had my chemo postponed twice due to wound issues. I eventually started but shouldn't have as the wound hadn't really healed so I then had to wait 8 weeks for the 2nd chemo session. I lost most of my hair after the 1st one so it was even more annoying that I couldn't continue. Especially since they eventually gave up waiting for the wound to heal and went ahead with chemo anyway. I finished in March.    The chemo wasn't as bad as I remember (Had chemo 20 years ago for somthing else). I think it's the anticipation and fear of the unknown that gets you and you can almost hear that ticking clock telling you to get on with it.    Fingers crossed you heal soon and can start the next stage... hang in there. xx ... View more

Hi Beth   It all depends on how quickly you heal. The chemo and steriods stop you from healing so you need the wound to have fully healed before they will proceed with chemo.    Good luck xx ... View more

I had severe cording after my lymphnodes were removed. By the time I went for my MX I couldn't straighten my arm, I looked like C3PO! Cording feels like the veins have shortened in your arm causing tightness, it's realllly painful to stretch but the surgeon said it wouldn't cause any damage to do so, you just need to get past the pain. (Not sure if this is how you feel?)   The excersises are really important to keep mobility and reduce the risk of lymphadema (which I also have now), I had to really push myself following the second surgery to straighten my arm and it took weeks.   I would contact your physio again asp to ask their advise on how it feels and get their reassurance that it is normal.    Keep going though! Sounds like you're doing great. ... View more

Hi SueRosA21   Choosing was incredibly difficult and I had many sleepless nights trying to reach a decission. I knew I didn't want to be flat. My 1st consultant recommended I had a DIEP but the amount of surgery didn't sit well and I had to go to a hospital in the next county to have it done. After tugging and pinching they said it was possible to get a C cup and they could do a reduction on the healthy breast at the same time. I was a G/H cup and couldn't imagine what it would be like. I met some ladies in the hospital who had had the DIEP and they looked amazing and it took some of the fear away (I would really recommend going to a Breast reconstruction meeting if you can). In the meantime I got a new consultant and she really advised against the DIEP, I had my sentinal node biopsy and it had spread to one of the nodes and there was more urgency to get moving. I have a 3 year old and based on the extent and recovery period of the DIEP and the fact it had spread, I finally decided on having a double mastectomy with implants. A less invasive surgery with quicker recovery and reduced risk of further cancer.   I had the mastectomy and implants July 13th. However I was also one of the unlucky ones and have been back in surgery twice since. I got an infection begining of Aug (They told me from the start that  it could happen and mean losing the implant), I was admitted and given antibiotics and another drain and I started responding well but the infection opened the wound so I had to have surgery to take it out, clean it and put it back. They covered it with a PICO vacuum dressing to take the moisture away and seal it but after several attempts and some stitches it didn't work and the wound opened again exposing the mesh.   I went back for surgery and they removed both implants (although the other one and healed part of the wound was pretty grim looking. They replaced them with Becker implants which are permanent expanders, they have silicone in them but saline can be added or extracted through ports in the armpits so there's no pressure on the skin giving it chance to heal and then expanded. Surgery went well, I wasn't flat (though smaller and slighly deflated). All was going well, they left the drains in for 2 weeks this time but when I was due to have them out the colour in one had changed overnight and I had a 2nd infection (the other breast this time). I again responded well to antibiotics and by the end of the week all was good but there was a slight hole on the other breast which had been leaking. They put another stitch in and stristrips but it was still leaking 3 days later so they glued it...back today and still leaking so glued it again. The consultant is confident it will close now and has given the go ahead to start chemo ( was supposed to start 5th Sep). If it doesn't heal they are going to deflate it.   So 3 months, 6 drains on one side, 2 on the other, almost constant antibiotics, lots of pain -and implants feel weird, very alien and heavy and take a long time to get used to - I still haven't. I am only just starting to have proper cuddles and can pick my boy up. I am still sleeping propped up but starting to attempt side sleeping. Chemo cancelled 3 times. at least one visit a week to the breast clinic. I kind of regret not having the DIEP but I have no idea if it would have worked. I was happy with my decission at the time (took long enough to decide) and I just have to keep telling myself that.    Good luck in choosing, of course things can go wrong but it  doesn't mean it will. Go with your gut instinct and stay confident. BIg hugs. xx ... View more

Hi PGtits (Good name!)   I've had three surgeries since July, 4 if you count the sentinal node biopsy too. I feel your pain, mentally and physically. I know about feeling fed up! (and scared).   I also had two tumours in the left breast, I wasn't really given the option of lumpectomies, if I had I would probably have gone for it so don't feel bad. Even the word mastectomy is terrifying! I'm regreting going with the reconstructive surgery I had, I cancelled a DIEP to go for implants (Plural, I decided to have a double mastectomy to avoid any more fear or surgery...ha right!). But hindsight is a wonderful thing. If we had a crystal ball we'd all make different deicssions. I keep telling myself I don't know how the other surgery would have turned out-My body could have rejected it and I could be in an even worse possition. And after soul searching and many sleepless nights I was confident and happy with my choice at the time. I'm trying to stay possitive - not easy since I've had TWO more complications this week! one Mon, one Fri... so theres a chance a 4th (5th) surgery could be on the cards. The trouble is I don't have a focus for positivity which my surgeon pointed out is very important, so I'm going to get some crystals, I don't really belive in them but I have nothing to lose and its a focus.   You're right, there's no dignity in breast cancer, we can find it though. I have met some amazing ladies through instagram and they really lift me. We all have down times, it's normal. I think I've been suffering from depression and I'm trying to pull myself back. So what ever you do, don't hide away (like me). Force yourself to meet people, distractions are good! And take one booby hurdle at a time.   We'll get through this! Big hugs. xx ... View more

Hi Millasmummy.   It took me many (understetment) sleepless nights to decide, I found the whole thing quite torturous. I had quite large breasts and was very sure that I did NOT want to be completely flat, I mentally couldn't handle it. So I was also concerned that to have an implant would look very strange in comparison to the large sagging one next to it. The 1st consultant I saw recommended I had a DIEP and I was referred to a different hospital in the next county. They told me it was possible and they could create a C cup (I was a G/H) but they would also do a reduction of the healthy breast at the same time. I went to a breast reconstruction awaresness meeting at the hospital and met some of the ladies who had had it done and they showed us their "new" breast and they really did look amazing. It was quite inspiring. The match to the original breast was incredible but none of them had had to have a reduction so I still couldn't picture it.   Then I was seen by a 2nd consultant in my original hospital and she really put me off the DIEP, scared me in fact and if I had any doubts to not go through with it. She pointed out the recovery time from such invasive surgery and that she really wouldn't recommend having the reduction at the same time (which was a big selling point to me- getting a matching pair and not having to go through it again) as there would so many large wounds to heal from there would be more risks of complications. She also talked about Angelina Jolie and the option of having implants in both breasts.   I felt really uncomfortable with the extent of the DIEP surgery and the recovery time involved (I have a 3 year old), I was scared at how small the breasts would be (I was worried that to get a C cup would leave me bent double as there wasn't that much extra skin and the surgeon really had to pull and stretch me) so after agonising about it and with advice of my friend's mother who had the DIEP and another cancer scare 10 years later- I opted to have a double mastectomy with implants. I had already had a cancer in my 20s and wasn't feeling too lucky about avoiding  round 3! At the time I was pleased and relieved to come to the decission.   However I have had complications with the implants and have had 3 lots of surgery to try and save them. I got a bad infection, they cleaned it and put it back and it seemed great, but despite using PICO dressings the wound just wouldn't heal. 2 weeks ago I had them both replaced with Becker implants (silicone expanders to give the skin chance to heal). Unfortunately I got another infection in the other breast this week and I'm now hoping antibiotics can save it.   I have been very depressed. I really don't want to be flat but I have had 3 months of discomfort (and only just gingerly getting proper toddler cuddles), the implants feel so alien and unatural and have been nothing but trouble. I really regret not going for the DIEP but hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't? I was supposed to start chemo on 5th Sept but it keeps getting pushed back.  I keep trying to tell myself the DIEP may have had its own problems and may not have worked and that I was happy at the decision I'd made at the time.   But everyone is differnt! It doesn't mean you'll go through a similar thing. I've met some amazing ladies on intagram who have shared their photos - some privately. hashtag breast cancer/ reconsruction etc. They have really helped me and are very supportive. (Much better than googling before and after pics!).   Good luck xx     ... View more

I had a sentinal lymph node biopsy 2 weeks ago, they took 3 nodes but I didn't have a lumpectomy. I have no drains, just stitched up again. I am still a bit sore and don't have full arm movement, (should have done the physio more I recon) and I still occasionally have painkillers but it feels much better. ... View more

Hi.   I was offered a DIEP with a reduction on the other side as they could only make me a boob 6 cup sizes smaller than I am now. I hated the idea of going through such a long, difficult surgery - not really knowing what I was going to find on the other side. One consultant said this was the best choice for me. Another started to put me off. I was scheduled to go to another county to a hospital that was so impressive and a surgeon that is reveared by his peers and it was diffilcult not to go along with it. I have a young child and was very concerned about how the 7 days in hospital followed by a long recovery would also affect him.   Anyway, one of my lymph nodes has disease in it. I do need chemo. So I have opted to have a double mastectomy with implants, a one night stay in hospital with a much speedier recovery so I can start treatment and hopefully be around for my child growing up. (I know this one also has risks).   So I completely understand your fear of major suregery- my surgeon laughed at me for having my will with me when I had the lymph node out but any aneasthetic is a risk isn't it? I have not been tested for the BRCA gene and I was originally very uncomfortable with having a healthy breast removed. But I feel I have made the right choice for my own sanity. I would hate to go through this again, I was so scared it had spread too far and that was it! I have my surgery a week today.   I also had a lymphoma 20 years ago & I ruled out having a 2nd cancer (1 in 3 people right). Now I am protecting myself against a 3rd cancer (i'm not feeling too lucky). I'm sorry I can't be more help. I have to have a mastectomy anyway but I feel a double is worth it. I can let you know how it goes afterwards?   I also have a friend was was prepared for the BRCA gene - she was 41 when diagnosed and her sister died at 35 from Breast cancer. She tested negative but also opted to go ahead with a double. A year on she has no regrets and is happy with the outcome.   It's a toughy. I wish you all the luck in the world coming to a decision. Making mine was absolute torture but I got there in the end. People say go with your gut instinct but I couldn't recognise mine.   Take care x  ... View more

Hi all   Hi Traceyfizz, I have been thinking about you a lot. I wish I had been so confident about choices and accepting no reconstruction. Have you had any more thoughts or chances to proceed with a reduction?    I just thought I'd let you know, after torturing myself with this day and night and slowly going crazy I finally reached a decission. I cancelled the DIEP this week and have asked for them to take the healthy breast too and have implants on both sides. I'll still be smaller but I can imagine more how it will look. But the main reason is for my 3 year old child. I found out there was some disease in one node and I want sooo much to see him grow up. Plus it's one night locally in hospital and a much shorter recovery. i'm hoping to be able to run around with him a little before chemo starts.   Anyway, I'm sorry I crashed your thread. I hope all continues to go well for you and you make the right choice for you. Thank you. x     ... View more

I have been offered a Diep with a reduction on the other side done at the same time.   The surgeon said I had enough tummy to make me a C cup, possibly a D. I am an FF-G cup and I'm really scared of the size difference, so much so I am changing my mind everyday even though I have a date for surgery already.    I am really frightened. It's such a big operation to go through and although I know I would rather have something there than nothing I'm worried how I will mentally cope with such a dramatic size difference.   I feel so ungrateful too. People keep telling me to go with my gut instinct but the only one I have is to find a cave, stick my fingers in my ears and scream.     ... View more

I'm sorry to hear your frustrations.  I think it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you won't ever be the same again in the first place so I'm really sad that you are less than happy with the results.   I'm trying to decide whether to go ahead with a DIEP. Really not sure now. I feel really ungrateful about not jumping up and down for joy.     I hope you like it more when it settles down.   x     ... View more

Hi Jillybee   Thanks for responding. After a lot of tears (embarrasingly so) I went to see the amazing "show and tell" ladies and I'm really glad I did. It took away a lot of the fear and I realised I am in denile about things and whatever happens I WILL be having a mastectomy so the DIEP is something to ease the blow rather than something that is going to mutilate me (as I was thinking). My main problem in getting my head around it all is conflicting advise from Ipswich. I was scared about the DIEP but the team at Chelmsford are so amazing and incredibly effecient and oozing confidence and kindness. But one of the consultants at Ipswich seems really negative about it and keeps confusing me and putting me off. Last week, just before they were about to perform the sentinal node biopsy, they found out I'd already been seen in Chelmsford and that I was thinking of going ahead with the DIEP and said "don't forget it is a business!" (which was confusing as it's the NHS and they're certainly not short of clients). And then proceeded to tell me that I should definitely not get the DIEP and reduction on the other side at the same time (which I had been really pleased about). They think I should get an implant and have mentioned it's an option to get 2 to match them but haven't said they would do it at the same time.   The advise is really getting me down, every time I think I have made a decission one of the consultants makes me doubt it. At the moment I am swaying back to DIEP but I go to see the consultant in Ipswich about my results on Friday and I'm pretty sure I will be in a dilemma again.   Are you happy with your DIEP? Would you recommend it?   Thanks for listening. x ... View more

Hi Clairewoo Glad all is going well for you. I just wondered with everything you've been through, if you had to choose all over again would you have still tried the implants first (I know you said they went wrong so it's probably a really stupid question and I apologise) I'm really struggling to decide what route to go down. I'm letting fear get in the way. Are you happy with the outcome? Thank you and take care. xx ... View more

Hi Sonya   I'm so sorry to hear your news. You must be very scared but it's good there is a desisive course of action already put in place! The waiting and wondering is awful and now its fight time! It sounds like a long horrible journey so try not to think too far ahead.   I was diagnosed last friday and go back to see the consultant tomorrow to find if its mastectomy or 6 months chemo 1st (depending on receptors). Before I can have reconstruction I need to have the lymph nodes checked so they can whip them out if need be and I am terrified too. It's not fair is it! Not much comfort but I wanted you to know you are definitely not alone.   I had chemo 20 years ago for a lymphoma. I tried the cold cap and hated it so much that I gave up. It's miserable enough without the brain freeze! Losing your hair isn't nice but it will grow back and there are some really good wigs and hats available, especially now! I think a hair cut is a good idea, I plan on going bob soon and really short and blonde (i'm a brunette) nearer to treatment as the scalp really shows through with dark hair. I also got stopped in a bar last time by some a-hole asking if I'd got a dog....I hadn't realised at the time but my long hair was falling out and was on the back of my coat. I was in my 20s and devasted. In my experience it was mentally and emotionally easier to cope with losing shorter hair.   You take care, x ... View more