Hi PGtits (Good name!) I've had three surgeries since July, 4 if you count the sentinal node biopsy too. I feel your pain, mentally and physically. I know about feeling fed up! (and scared). I also had two tumours in the left breast, I wasn't really given the option of lumpectomies, if I had I would probably have gone for it so don't feel bad. Even the word mastectomy is terrifying! I'm regreting going with the reconstructive surgery I had, I cancelled a DIEP to go for implants (Plural, I decided to have a double mastectomy to avoid any more fear or surgery...ha right!). But hindsight is a wonderful thing. If we had a crystal ball we'd all make different deicssions. I keep telling myself I don't know how the other surgery would have turned out-My body could have rejected it and I could be in an even worse possition. And after soul searching and many sleepless nights I was confident and happy with my choice at the time. I'm trying to stay possitive - not easy since I've had TWO more complications this week! one Mon, one Fri... so theres a chance a 4th (5th) surgery could be on the cards. The trouble is I don't have a focus for positivity which my surgeon pointed out is very important, so I'm going to get some crystals, I don't really belive in them but I have nothing to lose and its a focus. You're right, there's no dignity in breast cancer, we can find it though. I have met some amazing ladies through instagram and they really lift me. We all have down times, it's normal. I think I've been suffering from depression and I'm trying to pull myself back. So what ever you do, don't hide away (like me). Force yourself to meet people, distractions are good! And take one booby hurdle at a time. We'll get through this! Big hugs. xx
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