Breast Cancer Now Forum

Oh no...that is a shame about the dog; I’m sure your husband is right about the ball but that still doesn’t help the situation....You must tell him how nervous and insecure that must make you feel in your own home.   Hormones are wicked aren’t they, very little we can do but soldier on sometimes. I guess you need a bit more time for things to settle, it’s still early days. I’m seriously looking around for a reputable acupuncturist... we’re supposed to be camping in Tuscany in August and I can’t even get a nights sleep here without night sweats !!!!!! Lol   Things have been terrible here. Monday night my husband and eldest had a full blown fight. To cut a long story short I moved him to mums. I’ve felt almost bereaved this week, barely able to concentrate on anything. It’s also affecting my relationship with my husband. That said, he’s come home today and at the moment all is fairly calm. Im sitting here writing this when I really need to sort them all out for school tomorrow! Mum has enjoyed his company by the way, so there was some good come out of it. ... View more

Hi Goldie.... Still battling on at home. My eldest boy has suddenly become withdrawn and depressed and has started skipping school. Since he has passed his driving test he’s been harder to pin down. The middle boy who’s 15 is in a deep and meaningful relationship with a ( lovely) girl who is not quite 15 but looks 20! I worry my youngest is missing out...I just never sleep anymore just lie there and worry! My husband just shouts at them, telling them he’s about to have a meltdown. We seem to have a scene every night at the moment.  Mum is very tired but so much better than she was. I have Wednesday off which allows me to get her to her warfarin clinic which has been a godsend. Have been off this week, the weather has been amazing but I’m either too hot or too cold! That’s 2 years of menopausal type symptoms, when will they ever end!! grumble.... How are you? x ... View more

And he’s still grumpy 😬 xx ... View more

Hello... how’s things?  mum (eventually) got called back in. Bit weird really, her bloods are loads better but the scan was very poor quality / inconclusive so  they are assuming there is nothing there! They will re scan her in 6 months. She’s happy about it, feeling really positive. Who am I to dampen that, but I just feel a little  sceptical......... The weather is lovely; still some shenanigans at home but I’m still soldiering on! xxx ... View more

Still no news regarding Mum.... more arguments at home, my husband is just SO grumpy! Mind you my eldest isn’t helping. I see his point sometimes, I think he feels like we’re being restrictive.And we are, but he’s not always the best judge of a situation or a person. He doesn’t seem to realize that if he makes a mistake now it could ruin all HIS plans. And he’s only got a plan A ( medicine) which means straight A’s at A level. So going out with his mates that didn’t stay on at school isn’t really helping. You Must just be a complete bag of hormones...did I tell you I saw the onc on Monday? He said that’s what I am!! Difficult to deal with things at times, irrational etc But at least I’M not grumpy 😡 lol! The weather has been lovely today, I’m trying to enjoy it!! How’s your husband? Not grumpy I hope!! xx ... View more

Still no news regarding Mum.... more arguments at home, my husband is just SO grumpy! Mind you my eldest isn’t helping. I see his point sometimes, I think he feels like we’re being restrictive.And we are, but he’s not always the best judge of a situation or a person. He doesn’t seem to realize that if he makes a mistake now it could ruin all HIS plans. And he’s only got a plan A ( medicine) which means straight A’s at A level. So going out with his mates that didn’t stay on at school isn’t really helping. You Must just be a complete bag of hormones...did I tell you I saw the onc on Monday? He said that’s what I am!! Difficult to deal with things at times, irrational etc But at least I’M not grumpy 😡 lol! The weather has been lovely today, I’m trying to enjoy it!! How’s your husband? Not grumpy I hope!! x ... View more

Took mum for her scan today, obviously they didn’t say anything.... She feels loads better, her blood sugar is right down and when we went to the anticoagulant clinic after the scan the nurse there looked up mums last bloods and her liver function is improving... Mum is convinced as she is starting to feel better that there is not much wrong. I hope so. Sitting here in bed, my husband is preparing himself for ‘another night of my thrashing around’!! How are you?? x ... View more

Hello... didnt see your post. Been in my own little world. Mum has been really poorly, she’s got a CT scan on Wednesday as they are concerned about her liver/pancreas. I’m being realistic but can’t bear to think of the obvious... Her body has gone into meltdown, she’s now gone on insulin and warfarin.Ive been going there after work every day to do what I can then starting again when I get home. My eldest boy who’s 17 has gone through a bad patch too. Really wheezy at night. He’s normally a very good runner and has gone to being fit and active to lying there or staying out. My husband spends most of the time nagging him. He’s got exams soon as well. Work is going well but my manager went off sick as soon as I started so we’ve had to cover all her work. At least I’ve learnt all those new skills quickly! My nightsweats have got really bad again, and the days aren’t much better!!! Lie there in the dark with the covers on then off then on again! In the day I’m on/off with a cardigan etc. I think my husbands bored with the whole thing, says it’s 2 years so time to stop going on about the past... I suppose I should think only EIGHT more years of tamoxifen 😬 !. I’m so glad you’re ok and things are good. Is work fairly settled now?. My husband has fallen asleep downstairs so I’ve crept up to bed!! He normally nags me for dozing in my chair! But I’m just so tired all the time.... I wonder why???? 😆   Hopefully everything will sort itself out. Keep everything crossed for mums scan on Wednesday  Thanks for checking up on me... xxxx ... View more

oh no...poor you! You are probably feeling tearful anyway because of your hormones, but all the other stuff won’t be helping. Try not to worry/ overthink things regarding your periods. Just wait and see. Mum suffered a bad reaction today to the last dose of her penicillin, fat lips and a puffy face etc. I left her feeling a little better so fingers crossed. Im absolutely loving my new job...hope it lasts! Just done 2 study days on immunization, really fascinating. The woman running it was amazing, really charismatic and VERY scouse. Had come over from liverpool; I feel a little sad I won’t see her again. signing off as broadband dreadful,on and off! This is my third go!! xx ... View more

Can’t believe it was Jan we last talked.........! How are you? I’ve had proper flu... been ill for pretty much all of February! This last few days have had no running water/ central heating due to cold snap. Thank goodness we could get to mums for a bath!!!!! x ... View more

I LOVE my Welles....and I love bobble hats(my chemo was during the winter, they were the only hats that suited me!!) My poor mum.... refused to let me get a doctor, I suspect she thought she would be admitted (and she was probably right) sunday/Monday I was really worried, she was listless and not eating and a bit woolly  But she’s definitely turned a corner now Work still going well, interesting stuff Had problems this week with my eldest; he’s passed his driving test( and he’s still not quite 17) and can’t see why we worry If he’s not home when he says he’s going to be.... How are you?? x ... View more

I have been laughing out loud picturing you in your bobble hat!! 🤣 Actually I have been slack recently with managing symptoms........ Having my own desk will help( I can have bits and pieces to hand...when I get to pay day I’ll get myself a little fan Trying to wear layers to cope with the drastic temperature swings xx ... View more

Dogs do settle and grow up don’t they...? Im ok thanks but out of the blue having a real bad dose of hot flushes and night sweats Really difficult to deal with aren’t they? And with a new job etc etc But the job still is going well.. always have my lunch and get off on time! Do miss the patient care though..... Also you can get a bit of angst off people thinking you are out to get them!!!! xx ... View more

Yeah,waffles........... Without coming across as a real ‘mummy’, I sometimes feel SOME people who consciously opt to not have children become very strongly opinionated (my sister is in that camp). I  wonder if it is the responsibility thing? That said it’s not generally there in people who haven’t been able to have kids so maybe it’s certain personality types that have issues with any relationship be it partner, child etc. I’m sure your friend means well.... I know I’ve said to you things about the poor dog! But only you know how it truly is at home, your husband sounded truly distraught. I think he needs time to adjust to all the potential changes in life. I meant to ask how old your dog is? Have assumed he is quite young....could it be that he might settle down? Are there any training classes your husband could take him to as a last ditch attempt? I think your loyalty, empathy and respect to and for your husband is the right way to be; probably your friend is jealous deep down of your commitment and willingness to compromise. Which is what a partnership is all about(warts and all). Don’t ever change. No one ever says marriage is easy.  Xxx ... View more

Well Cautiously optimistic still!! Feel less tired I’m sure...just need to get used to different role and different hours! How are you?? ... View more

Was more worried about you than talking about the job....! First 3 days have gone well;I’m going to need a lot of training but the whole team are very friendly and helpful (so far anyway!) I have my own desk, phone etc I will be running my own clinics (pre employment, return to work etc) but not yet(good job!) Different pace totally. One of the girls was on the medical ward next to me a few years ago (know her vaguely); she says she still (after 5 years) misses the ‘nursing’,which is a worry but self preservation has to kick in a bit I think and I know it’s not going to get any better on the wards. I have felt better this week, less in the way of hot flushes. So we’ll see! Back to you..... The thought of motherhood is scary to anybody; but if it happens you adjust and you don’t look back. Yes the risks are there as an older mother, so you take it all a step at a time and take advice if need be. I was nearly 40 when I had my youngest... and I reckon I could easily of become pregnant until chemo smashed my ovaries at 48! I meant to say I have a proper lunch of an hour! So I’m going to try and get in the habit of saying a quick hello to you then(just in case the day goes away from me!) Please don’t overthink things in the meantime ,just stay well Can you take folic acid?? xxxx ... View more

So sorry I’m late to check in....started new job on wed and have been mentally exhausted! Settled down to wish you a happy new year then read your post. now..... You are certainly NOT mad...I’m sure I’ve said to you a good few times that it is a difficult decision for anybody to make but it’s so much harder after a cancer diagnosis  But you know you just can’t go waiting for a recurrence. None of us knows what’s round the corner. I have always felt you need to try. Children are a legacy and bring you so much joy. You’ve had a good bash at the tamoxifen, once upon a time you would have finished it now anyway... Come off it and just see. Try not to panic about fatigue/pregnancy/motherhood.....you would manage better than you think! We have both now ‘gone for it’and changed jobs.... Today I kept feeling that this year was going to see a radical change for me, i think that’s the case for you too. You have remained unsettled the whole time I’ve known you about babies, I just think this will only get worse if you don’t try. If you don’t get pregnant then it wasn’t meant to be. But I hope you do. You are brave, compassionate , intelligent and perceptive and have so much to give. I’m going to check in over the weekend if you need to chat Sending you a very big hug cath xx ... View more

Hello!!!!! work has been horrendous...I've been trying to tie up loose ends ( finish on 21/12) and have had to go in on days off..even if only for a couple of hours it killls the day. I have mixed emotions about going, I think that's how you felt if I remember correctly?? Feel like I'm leaving a sinking ship. Also worrying about change in role i.e. Far less clinical. Also all the typing.... I'm so bad at it!! Mum has been unwell. Has had heart issues and a bad leg; that said she's on the mend now I hope. Finding teenage boys a challenge too ( particularly v my husband) ...too much testosterone I fear. So first day off today in a month where I don't have to go in... doing Xmas stuff this morning  A bit of good news is that I have managed to give up sugar! For a month. I love sugar in my drinks etc but thought I'd give it a try. Feel much better and have lost a bit of my tamoxifen belly!! Particularly as new job is non uniform so will have to buy new clothes for it. So that's a quick update... I'm hoping new year/ job will allow me to have a bit more control ( like lunch breaks...lol) Hope you are ok? I'm so looking forward to some time off at Xmas... have you got any plans?? cath xx ... View more

He is a bit better!! Sorry you are going through a sticky patch, it's hard when things don't go to plan. It will be a great relief once the dog goes....... We have been extra busy at work this autumn, so many different 'bugs' ... I've always thought the milder weather doesn't help. xx ... View more

Hello, I am well over a year after finishing chemo ( also have had herceptin and am still on tamoxifen) and don't get on forum as much but just noticed your posts... Its so strange, before my diagnosis 2 years ago ( at 49) I was very fit through running. I kept running through the treatment but have increasingly noticed pain In my knees ( sometimes) and in my left thumb and big toe (always). Whether I run or not makes no difference to the pain so keep going to try and keep some normality and try and tackle my increased girth. Shouldn't grumble I know!! I had a month off tamoxifen which helped a bit but not totally, so have assumed it's a mixture of all the treatments and a sudden plummet into menopause??? Cath x ... View more