It is hard to still feel yuk after the treatment! I'm a year last month since 12chemos, 5weeks radiotherapy and 18 herceptins (with a little heart failure during the herceptin which got better phew!)... and I thought I'd be well by now - but since going back to full time teaching in Easter I have been so tired!! My cousin brought all my insecurities to a head last night when she said I had to ask myself why I was so tired now - she 'knew people who had had worse cancer than me and they werent so tired....' She did me a favour though coz I went straight to the help line this mornign and onto this website - for support from folk who know what we are going through... it is not laziness, or depression , or negative thinking..But things will get better I am assured. It is hard to get the balance right with working - Im having to think carefully about cutting my work hours. I live alone except for my two darling chi's and my big fat black cat..and they keep me cheery when I'm feeling too tired to do anything. Hope you have something/someone who is there for you when you feel yuk! I've been reassured that the exhaustion WILL pass - its just that our bodies have been through a major fight - and won - but it takes time to regenerate and heal....take care...
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Hi folks, Im just back to working fulltime now since Easter this year after chemo,radiotherapy n herceptin - plus got diabetis now after chem... Im glad to be back at work - but I am so tired. As a single parent with no supporting family my work (and pay!) are my security blanket and I'm finding it hard to decide what to do. My daughter has left home so I am on my own with my dogs and cat - I live in the country so a car is essential. I am so afraid to go part time incase I end up struggling finacially. How long do I struggle on with this horrendous exhaustion in the hope it will go eventually? How do others cope? At work my paperwork is way behind, and there are times I am not really enjoying my job like I used to. Then at home I just sit down and sleep! I feel I am stuck not knowing how to get over this blip... if I had the money I would love to work part time. The worry is that I won't have a good pension if I go part time now. Help! How do others cope and decide please...?
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thanks for your good wishes... I feel a bit nervous but keeping in mind that most folks find epi trickier,,, hey ho... and of course the cannula's are another challenge. Ive been giving my veins a talking to and telling them to plump up and show themselves as the strong thick beauties they are...lol
Lyn - lots of folks have very few problems and anyway there are lots of good tablets out there - so if you get constipated or heartburn - dont suffer in silence - the tablets do work :)) There's ways round the naseua too .. but always keep in mind when you are thinking about side effects - the very mainest biggest side effect is - ...it gives you your life back....
Sharon my treatment plan is epi x4 cmfx8 radiotherapy for 5 wks and then a years herceptin. My cancer was a grade 3. Not sure why the differences for some of it but Im on herceptin coz I was hep2 positive. TAmoxifin is when you are oestrogen positive I think.
tomorrow I go to see the pups - I'm looking forward to that ..ther's something about happy dogs that make you just laugh out loud....
Cathy what an amazing coincidence - Ive heard about cats finding theri own homes - but what a happy home finding for Germma. Ive heard a bit about rescue greyhounds.. they do seem very gentle and happy dogs.. but not best friends with cats I believe? SOmething to do with their training. Just had a lovely thought there about my cats when I get my new pup.. they adore my big lab - wonder how the dynamics will go with a tiny pup... it is good to have more than one animal isnt it.
Does anyone have any good stories about their animals. I have a small house and all doors lead into the hall. For a while my 2 cats had a new trick. I would be in one room and hear a sort of strange call from my big dog. She was abviously in some sort of fix - not scared but definately wanting me to go to her. So out I'd go into the hall and there were my cats in the hall trapping my big dog so she couldn''t get out of the room she'd gone into!! Of course as soon as I appeared they scarpered, vocalising as they went.
happy dog walking days to you all
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My hair is well... hard to say - its not like hair thats for sure - sort of straw like and you can see the outline of my scalp ..hee hee I don't care - it'll grow back thick and curly -I hope! I've half an eyebrow adn hey ho this morning at the nose end there are tiny tiny hairs appearing!
Milk - must be very cold and only with a wheatabix! I drank lots of rice milk - it was the only thing I coudl drink fro a while and again had to be cold - the cold seemed to take the taste out!
I read that aloe vera juice helps with the stomach problems - so I shall ask my onc on friday and if he says yes - I'll pass on that tip . good luck everyone. :))
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I'll be heading off for my new chemo with cmf adn found all the tips here sooo helpful - thank you to all you folk who have posted.
I read one post that suggested Q10 - I asked my Onc about them at the start of my chemo with epi and was advised not to take Q10 or selenium as they counter what the chemo is doing. So best to check about any suppliments with your onc.
I found on epi that eating a little every couple of hours helped keep the sicky feeling away. Porrige was excellent in the morning or else cold milk with a wheatabix. Don't eat too many of your fav foods when you feel sick - otherwise you will go off them!!
Sleep is a great tonic - plus you dont feel sick when you are fast asleep!!
good luck everyone...
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we've had snow... and my lab loved to roll about and generally have a good old time racing about in the garden...
hi Cathy - labs are fun aren't they - but totally unlike any other dog I have had.. they are like having toddlers around 24/7 - but the kindest cleverest and funloving .
You will probable disagree Sharon.. hee hee .. we do love our dogs... how exciting knowing that there is a GS litter coming and I hope you will be lucky and get one...I agree temperament is crucial with any dog, (and also hips etc... breeders who breed just for looks are doing the breeds a disservice. I've known a few folks here had labs whose hips were so bad they had to have operations v early with a lifetime of trouble ahead..) it s the perfect time of year too with the good weather coming so walks out will be easier and more fun for you - my dogs especially my lab never seemed bothered however cold and windy it was!! I'm further north than your Dad.. and ok yes it s beautiful but bleaker and windier than green flat Orkney.. I went there for the first time last summer and found it a beautiful and friendly place ... and I love the accent.
Ive not managed round to see the chihuaha pups - had 2 good days then when I was raring to go - took some dizzy weak turns.. it is a pest this chemo....but I hope to see them tomorrow all going well....
My big dogs people had a farm just outside Stirling. I could try and find their name - its somewhere in this clutter of a home... Baileys mum was a choc lab called Fudge and her dad was a black lab from someone who is on the Lab official club - (my brain is mince jsut now can't remember the proper title etc) - she shows at crufts and such like and is adament about good breeding practises...in fact she bent my ear about people who breed labs just for profit etc etc... (and she is right!) I got her phone no from someone at my vets.. We were so lucky with these people - the farming family drove Bailey up to aberdeen to save her an extra flight.. and would have come right here had it not be so expensive on the ferry... so I will try and find out more info - it may take a while as Im heading south again on tuesday.. let us know how you get on with the new GS litter
I start the new chemo - cmf on friday - wish me luck folks.. Im soooo hoping it will be easier than the epi!
Its great having a 'dog' link and not just all about cancer.. do you find that too?
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Hi folks.... it is good to have others on the same treatment - good to exchange tips and stories. Takes the fear out of starting something new too...
Naz - whats happening in your corner? Are you back on track again? Drop us a line and let us know how you are ... meantimes cyber >> sent your way hoping those neutrophils have picked up and are doing their job again...
Corsa - how did your first cmf go ? How long did it take to get and how do feel? Hope much better than on the epi. Please drop in when you feel able...
Zoe and V thanks for your comments
- its good to know that you both found the cmf easier. Ive had a rough time of it on epi too... had my last 2 weeks ago and it went better than the 3rd session but still had to call out doc with dizzy turn - he found nothing 'wrong' but I sure as anything felt rough! I'm glad there was only 4 of them !! You are right about the just getting back on your feet and then its time to go for more...still major side effect is it saves our lives so I guess we could put up with a lot for that :))
Hi Trish - sorry to hear you had to move home >> it is hard feeling poorly away from your own bed and friends. Hope your son and daughter in law are able to support you. It is hard this chemo = but it is doable and its amazing how fast the time passes. You just have to go with the flow and rest when you can.. I found eating a little every two hours helped a lot with the naseau (sp??) especially 1st thing in the morning - its funny coz even though you feel sick , having some porrige or weatabix seemed to take the sicky feeling away. The first time I found very cold food was ok - cold cooked chicken, or home made chicken soup ( which I now dont much fancy hee hee ) ....try really hard and drink as much as you can - i found evian the most tasteless of bottled water was easiest to drink. it really does help your body the more you drink. Dont suffer alone - if you keep feeling sick - get strong tablets from the doc, if you get heartburn (I had it !) they have great tablets to get rid of it. So just day by day look after yourself - eat what you fancy as often as you need and drink drink drink.... and soon your epi sessions will be over. Hpw many have you to get? I had 4 and each time was different - and some of the time wasn't too bad at all = so dont worry if one session is rough - chances are you'll be okay the next. Epi is hard on the veins - but they do heal up if you eat and drink well. so good luck and let us know how its going.... have you had to leave any pets behind? Enjoy those shops when you get the chance to get out and about - go shopping girl :)) - remember the sales and retail therapy can be fun!
I go south this tuesday niight for my first cmf on friday after seeing the onc. My heart is playing up a little - so hope it all goes ahead okay... wish me luck folks please..
take good care of yoursleves, Suex
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I did giggle at the thought of my pusscats on leads - now Joe would just roll onto his back and expect to be picked up and Smokey would be so 'affronted' that I would expect him to sulk for days...lol
I;m hoping to go and see the last litter of pups before they go to their new homes .. and I wont feel too bad coz it just aint possible this time round... and hopefully the next litter will be born next november/december when the chemo + 5 weeks away for radioth will be over and it'll just be the herceptin which can be done up here all going well.....
how is your choices coming on Sharon? Have you found any possible parents/pups yet for your new dog? Do you look at the rescue centres near you? or are your dogs always from folks you know/ have been recommend? We took ages to find the folks who bred our choc lab .. she came from stirling - very far from here and she was flown up - I can see her yet in her little plastic box.. her chocolate nose sticking out... I'd love another lab pup too... dogs are such wonderful companions aren't they...
good luck with your hunt
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Hi folks, good to hear all the latest. This last epi has been sooo much easier than the 3rd! Funny how it changes ... just waiting now to head of for the 1st cmf - and from the posts Ive read so far most folk found that easier.. so I'm hoping to get back and get out and about more...
hi Val - seromas are weird ... I'd my wound drained 3 times.. the first time it literally spurted out.. and what a relief! Hope the infection is clearing up well and things are going well. How;s the exersices going? Can you raise your arm above your head yet?
hi Thelma, good luck tomorrow and thursday... let us know how it goes...
- do you get numbness round about your scar and at the back top of your arm at all? My nerve was cut when they removed the tumour and it still feels weird...like Ive a huge towel or something stuck under my arm and it feels odd when my arm is against my side...
Hi Magz - have a great holiday!
stay warm and keep well 🙂
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hi V - glad your'e feeling better 2nd week - I'm taking note coz on the 4th I start my cmf cocktail trail... and the thought of 2 lots in a month is well.. not sure yet :} - I'm hoping it is going to be easier than the epi .. so it was good to read that you felt better 2nd week.. long may it continue. Whitesnake .. now that is something to look forward to....
Hi Naz - hope that toothachae is sorted and youve had your night out. For the 1st 2 epi cycles I'd bother with my back tooth - huge filling came out and had to get tempories twice! Can't remember if I checked with the onc or not what dentist could do. honestly i've entered some weird time zone.... it seems ages since I was at work and had a normal life. Just realised that tomorrow will be the first time I manage out to soemthing SINCE LATE OCT that has nothing at all to do with cancer... no wonder I feel fed up!! Its just a small new sewing group that Im hoping to pop along to for an hour or so... but hey ho .. its out and about......and lets hope noone sneezes as I get in the door!
ANyone else out there getting the jitters if folks near you sneeze?!! My 1st 2 epi cycles I got infections coz I was gadding about the shops and friends too much...and the Mac nurse muttered about it so much that now I stay close to home... but cabin fever is a pain !!
Bobbie I stay on a island far north .. nothing exciting - just a bit of a pest when it comes to travelling south at this time of year for treatments etc.... How are things with your treatment s just now?
anyone heard from Sukes lately?
take care all... hope you still have bits of easter chocolate stashed away.. sadly all mines is munched...
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maybe the cmf will be easier but with the epirubicin i only have about a week (if Ive no infections ) when I'm well, and she lives on another island and to reach the ferry for that I have a long drive so it would take a day all in to fetch her and then a day to return her and so far Ive just not had the energy. If she was nearby I could have her back more... her lovely foster mum sends me photos and she brought her over a couple of months ago... that was so good and I could see how happy she was and she hadnt forgotten me of course. I was travelling south that night so couldnt keep her then. However Ive great hopes for the cmf coz if Im better with that she can come home more. The new pup has found another home but my name is down for the next litter and by then the long time away treatments will be over and I will be home....
it is so true about getting out.. there were lots of times before my dz when I had to take my dog out and I wasnt too keen but then when you are out and she is running and jumping and the sky is full of stars or pretty clouds it is so good to outside. Fraid I am guilty of just sitting in these days!
meanwhile my two cats are ruling the roost ...
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Happy Easter folks!
Magz - CONGRATS on finishing the radiothereapy and the exile from home comforts... next chemo - wot a dilemna ! glad your still going ahead with your break... .. so good luck against any sneezers, snifflers or anyone with blotches etc on the traill.... Ive taken to going out with a hanky soaked in tea tree oil when I shop near the 'dodgy days'.... Im getting so ladylike ... welll apart form the smell...hee hee it should be lavender I guess... hope your little tube does the trick agianst the red skin..
Same day you start your chemo I go south for my next chemo cocktail (cmf) and see the onc on friday as its a new regime.. hope it goes easier than the epirubicin thats for sure! Let us know how your break goes... im envious! getting cabin fever' just now coz there's a cold locally and so it seems everyone I know is either coming down with it or just getting better but someone in the household still has it sort of thing...sigh!
Hi Thelma - you are having a time of it! and yes I ate a whole huge bar of chocolate and nuts and yes the heartburn was well worth it...;)) hope wed goes well - I'd one of those a couple of years ago.. the doc was incredibly old and very sweet...and it didnt hurt or take as long as I thought it would. Good luck with thursdays chemo... you are in the same time frame as me..and Im hoping for a break in Dublin before the herceptin trail begins...
its snow and cold here - but no wind, long may that last...
hugs and good thoughts sent your way
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good luck on thursday Alison,,,, hope its good news,. yes this chemo stirs up all sorts of body reactions. I'm on tablets for fast irregular heartbeat already .. and they have certainly helped keep it in check. Tony Blair had the op to correct his heart.. but it does give you a good feeling that whatever stresses we have - he must have had much more and still keeps going!!
You are right about asking for help.. it is hard when Ive been so independent... but one of the positives of this cancer is it shows up how much (some) people just want to be there for us. Its very heartening.. so Ive decided to let them in when it gets tough... well without painting it too grim... I think only those of us in this 'club' know how grim it can get...and even then it passes and so is 'doable' ...
anyway happy easter, and hope all goes well on thursday,
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day 8 and I'm feeling much better than last time.. yipee!! lots of sitting + sicky but no fainting this time...
heart played up with epi again but stayed in hosp overnight and most of next day and stayed south another night before travelling.. the hosp staff are so good.
for the chemo the doc came with a young doc to look at my hand and thankfully the young doc admitted he'd rather leave it to th
e older doc and boy did I feel relieved! That doc managed it fine although my hand in now a mass of bruising and v sore...
i'm trying not to think about the cmf with its twice a month.. the PoD (prophetess of doom) Mac Nurse mutters about a line in..but I dont trust her.. adn you are right I will need to get some sort of positive relationship with her going.. Ive 8 cmfs then a year of herceptin every 3 weeks.... ...and cant go south every time so I will try and talk with her... she scares me though...
anyway sorry to go on about me.. how are you?
is the line getting easier to have? and how did you last chemo go with it in? waht happening with you?
Happy Easter with lots of chocolate (liquor?) lol
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missed so much - so hope all chemo is going well and all rads started and everyone is feeling things are doable..even if sh**ty at times... and blood counts are good enough....
i was kept in hosp overnight as heart played up then stayed an extra night before travelling home... yep it was bumpy..but not too bad and the great news is that although I felt grim for the first 7 days..today is day 8 and I do feel better.. no fainting this time... but I sit to wash up and cook and move very genteely lol... wot a relief..but do you know the daft thing.. i started crying when the nurse came with the last lot of epi... just the thought of going through all the bad times was so upsetting.. couldnt believe it thta Id felt so bad.... but the nurse was sooo lovely and held my hand and said things would be okay ... and they have been ...grim but okay...
im travelling again in a couple of weeks...cmf... so hope its easier than epi - my bloods are v low just now and im feeling a bit down with all the hassles... any tips on feeling better? shopping therapy doesnt really work here.. our lovely village shop sells basics , and so far im too poorly to drive into town... so any fun things to try? sewing may do it.... wish I could meet up with friends and eat a hearty meal and have a laugh and giggle... tried that laughter thing - you know where you just laugh out loud and soon you start to laugh.. and hey ho it gliffed the cats but I did laugh....
Happy Easter and lots of chocolate to you all
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it was good to read this post coz I'm in the same place dogwise... my darling choc lab (9yrs now) went to her foster mum way back in oct last year when i was diagnosed... I live alone and had to travel very (very ) far for scans + treatment so having a loving home for her gave me peace of mind. mind you Ive cried many nights missing her especially when I came home between op and chemo's.... but she lives on another small island so I cant even see her.... and now I have to think about should I leave her with her foster mum who gives her more than I can now and for another 8 months of treatment.....it is so hard and ironically last year I booked a chihuaha pup and 2 months ago the breeder phoned to say my pup was born.. and I had to tell her I couldn't this time round and I really want one with the next litter... so on two counts I know where you're at.. Ive decided that as I live alone all going well with my treatments I will get a small pup but will ask the breeder (she lives locally and her dogs are family pets too) if she will always take my pup if need be. I still havent decided about my darling big dog... she needs so much walking and loves company and I may not be able to give that and meantime she loves her foster mum who adores her back... theres so many things to sort out with cancer isnt there...
good luck with your decision...
I do hope you will find a happy pup who trains like a dream and gives you lots of fun and laughter - and fun and laughter is a must!
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thanks Fay - i was thinking today that this was just too hard and how easy it would be to give up coz I find my chemo so hard and from being always around folk and children at work, I am now isolated in the country living alone.... but although it is impossible to compare different folks - your posting this story has helped me today.. maybe she didnt feel as rough as i do with my chemo... but maybe she did... maybe she had someone she could 'complain to' and so her husband wasn't aware of her fears and maybe she had lots of support from her family ...it doesnt really matter....our cancers and treatments are all so different ...
my aunt told me she 'didnt know anything about cancer and didnt want to know anything' and hasnt phoned me since I phoned her...and my only other aunt is very ill with cancer in hospital now, so hopefully supportive family isnt a neccessity!!
but the video was right in one thing... attitude is important and okay it may not save your life but it gives us a fighting chance.. and although I still feel down I do need to watch inspiring stories.. so thank you for posting it... ive put it into my bookmarks...we need all the help we can get !
hope all is going well with your treatment etc...
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it is soooo good to feel well enough to get in touch and yes last epirubicin and its great coz I feel so much better this time round! I was kept in hosp overnight coz me heart bumped up a bit..but hey ho its day 8 and already I can walk about without keeling over and eat without my fat tum rolling... oh what simple pleasures we glory in... then in a couple of weeks the 8 lots of cmf.... say it quick... step by step...
Val - what great great news... and it is cheering to read how chemo has helped your body fight.. I was feeling a bit despondent today thinking about the possible nasties running amok in my neck and etc and there in black and white is the proof that chemo works - it saves our lives... thank you for that boost... and good luck with the radiotherapy - not long now and you have your life back..
Thelma - you have had a grim time of it - hope your 4th fec went ahead okay and this time round is easier on your body. Can the onc give you something to boost your neutrofils (ins?) Mines have plummetted since the start - seems part of the hassles.. did you get lots of pain in your abdomen? Hope thats by with now and your'e back on track with your chemo...
Magz...congratulations you have finished your radiotherapy - did the doc's explain why no cream? I'm interested coz my bc nurse told me to start putting on cream 2 weeks before I start mine ... maybe even now you are tramping the Lakes... take it easy! Folks here found the radiotherapy took a while to get back their stamina..so hope you are being cossetted and spoiled and are enjoying your break... thanks for dropping in a few names in edinburgh.. i went there often as a child and remember the excitement and buzz of princess street.
Karen - hope you are back on your feet and feeling better... mmmhm when we say chemo is grim boy do we know what grim means....but it passes and reading Vals news is it worth it!! So stay strong...
Happy Easter and lots of good thoughts to you all..
thank you all so much for your support this last wee while...
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last epirubicin over.. and the old heart bumped up a bit so I was kept in hosp - but day 8 today and hey ho I am much better than last time...thank goodness!! Ive learnt than I have to be very proactive and assertive and if feel so bad in the future I have to ask for help and not go to ground...thank so all so much for your help and support..it was a very scary time..
Alison - hope your operation has gone well - hang in there... this is anotehr big step towards getting your life back....stay strong.
take care all of you
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gald to hear everything went well Val - it is sooo good to hear positive stories.. shrinks those fears....how are you finding the showering etc? is there a nurse coming in every week to change your dressing etc? good luck with it and with avoiding infections etc.
thanks Linda for the info. hope all is going well with you.
well Im on the boat tonight - should get my last epi on thursday all going well... my hands are still sore and brown.. but my positive MAc Nurse says they may manage another lot ... feeling appehensive .. well scared would be nearer the mark... about this last lot. But hopefully it will not be so bad as the last time.... then its onto CMF...my prophet-of-doom MAc Nurse 'kindly 'reminded me that that involves twice each session coming in and with my veins..mutter mutter ... she's also the one who muttered on about blood clots and infections and etc re the PICC ..I'm beginning to hate her.. its very peculiar ... I dont hate anyone.. ! But she fills my head with words that frighten me....
I am so glad to have you all out there with sense and positive words..yes I know things are rough at times.. but positive words and true good stories go a long way to getting us through the rough patches...
sorry Ive ranted on a bit... put it down to last epi nerves...
take care all.
ps we have 2 Mac Nurses here ... and they are chalk and cheese....
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