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Leigh446
Member
since
31-08-2016
63
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15
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01-03-2018
10:08
1 Hug
I Have the same, and I suspect a lot of people here do too. I went to a therapist who encouraged me to be myself, find out what I love to do and do it. In my case it’s drawing. Mindfulness also helped.its just really jolly hard sometimes. I once went to a hypnotherapist and we imagined the little you in side of you and sent her love and support. That was ok, I might try that again actually. Just get very calm and daydream that you are going into yourself to meet the real you. She’s in there somewhere! Then have a chat. Ask her what she needs, give her lots of love. Sounds mad, but it’s fun if nothing else. Good luck I know it’s really hard. ..
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01-03-2018
09:34
Hi Karen and nick! ill answer cos this is a subject close to my heart too. I had similar, except with a mastectomy and felt really tired for AGES. I was applying for jobs at about the stage you are at now, and couldn’t cope with the interviews. Any stress or decisions at all would fill me with anxiety and set my crying. So you’re not alone. I kept posting on here to find out if it was normal to be so tired and to take so long to get better. And yes, it seems that it does.Slowly.. I don’t know the answer, other than to say, you are working and running a house - which is tiring anyway. Good luck, I’d like to be more help, but ironically I’m too tired!
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26-02-2018
03:28
Hi Treeze, i remember you from when you first had op and you were taking on so much so soon. You seem to me to be a superwoman! Just wanted to send hugs and say take it easy, though I know that’s easier said than done. Love to you, and to all us ladies trying to carry on through relentless crap! Go us!
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26-02-2018
02:55
1 Hug
Hi ladies, hello delly. It is soooooooo nice to be asked after! I stopped reading the forums as I thought I needed to move on, but tonight I can’t sleep and my anxiety is HUGE. So I turned to this for friendly thoughts. And there was delly asking after me. Soooooooo nice! Thank you delly! Am all of a wotsist because Second year scan coming up and husband has just had a brain heammorage. I thought he had flu and was just being a twat. We’d been arguing so much that I thought he was just moaning because I’d brought the wrong sort of Ribena or something. I’m such an idiot. A week later when he went to the doctors and they sent him to a and e it turned out he had had this thing and he could have dropped dead any moment. Well, he’s had an operation on brain and now, thank god he is alive and well though obviously as freaked out as we all are on here. Of course I’m relieved he is ok and I have to keep reminding myself that, but I’m soooo worried. I finally found a few hours a week in a shop, but we can hardly live off that. He doesn’t want to go back to work, he was being bullied by his boss and was really stressed which was affecting our relationship, but goodness knows what we will do for money. I’m finding it really hard to help him be positive, when I’m so scared. And of course it’s all muddled up in my head with the horrid emotions from my own chemo etc. Oh I hate being a grown up. Sorry, I know everyone here has serious stuff to deal with. I guess this is too, just nice to see all you familiar names and new ones too. Hope everyone ok as can be xxx
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23-12-2017
01:48
1 Hug
Hi ladies. Am very. Sorry to hear that, rachey. I guess am looking for a kind word too, maybe we could give them to each other. My story is that I went to counselling after cancer treatment cos I was so depressed and just not getting any stronger, and my counsellor started off by wandering if my bf was selfish, and then suggested I go to woman’s aid as he is being abusive emotionally. Shock! Luckily cancer has taught me all sorts of strong skills, but this has still knocked me for 6. I’m up late and wandering around forums looking for support because I think I may have just been an idiot. We were going to see his family then his friends after Xmas, and I got more and more concerned about my mum 85, being on her own. She lives in Spain and he makes it very difficult for me to see her, I don’t earn, and he won’t pay for my ticket so she has sent me money. Last time I went, 4 months after treatment, he yelled and nagged for 2 weeks before, telling me I’d booked the wrong flight, Id done it all wrong. Etc.The woman’s aid lady said, don’t tell him till the last minute. But of course now the in laws are upset, and he’s furious. And I’ve ruined Xmas and am a bundle of nerves. Help!
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05-09-2017
11:40
Thanks sooo much for this wren, your clear explanation has really helped- and shocked me into action, I was feeling too tired and stiff to move, now I really understand I have to! I like the comment that a massage is cheaper than a Zimmer frame - it's too easy for us ladies to put massage and excersise and food down the list - kids and hubby first - then too tired to do stuff for me! Thank you for telling us this - Boone else was. Hugs
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09-03-2017
03:13
Oh treeze, poor you. That's awful. I offer hugs and love. I sincerely hope he is not in pain, and it sounds like you need a bit more than a day with a book. xxxxx
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09-03-2017
02:52
Hmmm. Am in a bit of shock...a frien mentioned that not being able to visit my mum without a lot of guilt etc off hubby was emotional abuse, and after a lot of dithering, I called woman's aid and they said, yup, it is, your hubby is bullying you. Now back to awful treatment levels of stress and fear. Tried to suggest visiting my mum at Easter yesterday and couldn't cope w the row so tonight I avoided him. This isn't good! Don't want to live in an episode of brookside! Want own job and own money! he came in tonight and just grumbled. Fair enough, he's tired but daughter said, mum, is dad a bully? What do I say to that?! was already exhausted and scraping along on the bottom, now I have come to a stop. Help! How do I get going again? and the other thing is, now what forum do I go on!
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08-03-2017
08:17
Hi feisty flora, i wonder if you have any tips you can share? Hubby was fine thru treatment but now it's back to ..I don't know, feeling ignored and critiscised. I was embarrased tonight because my 11 year old daughter said, mummy is daddy a bully? How do I answer that?
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03-03-2017
04:05
hello wavylocks just been reading all the tips again and see you are struggling after 18 months. I know it's daft, but thanks for writing that - I am still finding it hard 11 months after, and still feeling guilty cos I should be better by now, surely. So thank you for sharing and good tips too x
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03-03-2017
03:59
Go delly! You are a tonic and I shall think of you when I head bang my way round the living room tomorrow. i guess we are all older and wiser, and more characterful, and it seems the most surprising people go through hells that are impossible to imagine. Go us!
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03-03-2017
03:47
Oh Treeze, I hope you enjoyed your well deserved day with a book. It sounds like it was well needed! It's very exhausting to worry. At maggies they say, breathe! Just breathe in and out very slowly while you are boiling the kettle or whatever and really notice what you are doing, rather than what you are thinking. I think you deserve a promotion, and here in money land, that comes with a link click on this word Peaceful ( I hope) it takes you to some tapes made by Diana winston at ucla, I find it very helpful to pick one and listen to it lying down, a few times a day. I hope it helps you - and anyone else out there. It's called meditation, fancy! But really it's just a nice voice saying nice calming things, well I hope it helps! And you are right, I shall follow your lead - more book reading and less stressing. I didn't even get an interview for the job, and after three days writing and checking cv and cover letter. Humph.
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25-02-2017
04:56
Thanks for the thanks! Now you've cheered ME up at whatever time in the morning! sue has put a diagram on one post ( which one? Doh) that shows how after treatment your health gets better but your emotions go down so for a while you feel REALLY crap. Also people don't want to talk about it, I guess they are scared? Bored? Caught in own world? I found I could touch on it to v good mates but could see them backing away pretty quick! Now I see why maggies kept banging on about being kind to yourself- you need to treat yourself incredibly encouragingly, cos no one else will! Crept the ladies on forums. Sand do the drama, it will give you the boost to get you through the crap. Ooh don't I sound wise?! Can't help re job tho. Still not getting anywhere and can't stand long enough to do shop. And I know about money. I am like you, like to budget, but have hubby that will go and buy mad stuff cos he deserves it.(!) after chemo he got the kids a 200£ party because they'd had a rough time.and now have none left for a haircut for me. So I am grey and badly died red in stripes. Not a good look! Pah! here, after reading benchland thread am inspired to start rich country. Am sending you an imaginary job that requires testing soft cushions tow see how comfy they are, oh and munching on different nice things two see which is nicest. Very highly paid!
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25-02-2017
04:13
Hello lovelies! sue thank you sooooooooooo much for posting that. The diagram is brilliant and should be handed out after treatment. It would save so much angst and confusion and worry. I was told I might feel a bit down about three weeks after treatment. I'm really cross with that - I scheduled in a coffee with the girls thinking that would get me through. Ha!
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23-02-2017
11:45
Sue! Any updates on your course? I would love to hear them! And I think so would others!
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23-02-2017
11:43
Thanks delly! i have been trying to give treeze a virtual cuddle on another thread. it seems we all pop up all over the place! just reading fluffier. V lovely, recommend to all who need to share some good girl time!
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23-02-2017
11:28
1 Hug
Ps you have a job! 5 or 6 hours is long enough! And sitting in a sensory room w special needs does not sound unexhausting! im so passionate about this because I'm struggling to find work too, and feel guilty and a failure at all these women that have an amazing career and an immaculate white sofa while running marathons during chemo. grumble. Bet they whip up organic ...stop me ranting, agggh!
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