Breast Cancer Now Forum

Thanks so much as well Michele, I didn’t realise how easy it would be to get them removed and had resigned myself to keeping them. How did you go about finding someone to do the layering? Evie xx ... View more

@JayBea - thank you very much for coming back to share your good news, I’m so pleased for you. It is really helpful for others at the testing and waiting stage to know that not all lumps/changes are bad news and there can be other explanations. So please don’t think that you are insulting anyone, you aren’t at all. I am sure even if you didn’t realise it at the time your body was in a heightened state of alert (or stressed) and today when you relax all those emotions are flooding out. I hope as the day goes on that you feel better, but we are all here to chat still if you need. You’ve had an unpleasant experience and worry, so now is the time for lots of kindness to yourself, treats, getting out in the sun, whatever makes you feel good. Big hugs, Evie xx ... View more

@brenda.mcivor - Hi Brenda, a big welcome to this lovely forum, I’m very glad you have joined it but obviously very sorry for your diagnosis. I want to start by sending a big hug, as I know you are feeling as if you have just been hit by a big truck that came out of nowhere. I had my diagnosis and treatment about 4 years ago, so I am happy to try to help with any questions, especially as you try to get your head around the diagnosis. It really is such a shock isn’t it. This is a very safe, non judgmental place where you can say what you like, offload, ask questions and just ask for support when you need it. Let me start with critical illness cover - I also had a policy and it paid out, mine was grade 2 but I don’t remember the grade being an issue. I would definitely get in touch with them, they should have a helpline. I had to send a letter from my consultant as proof. Also see if you can find the terms and conditions from when you took out the policy as they should confirm when they L&G will pay out. The doctors have a good idea of what they are dealing with before surgery, but only once surgery has been done can they be sure. They need to make sure they get “clear margins” round your lump - it seems to be a balancing act between taking as little as possible to maintain the breast tissue and making sure they have got it all. Sometimes it requires a second surgery. They also usually test what is called the “sentinel node”, that is the first lymph node under your armpit. If that is clear then they don’t need to take any more out, but if they find it has spread to the nodes they will advise a node clearance. That is what I had.  But if you can, try not to look too far ahead and second guess what might or might not be found - I have a great book that reminds us that “fears are NOT facts”, so it is best to deal with what you know. Doctors are usually very cautious and they seem to think in your case that the lump is small and has not spread - they can often tell from the ultrasound whether there are any unusual lumps under your arm pit. The next stage after that depends on what type of BC you have. There is a new language to learn, and we are here to help you interpret it. You might have been told that your BC is hormone sensitive (ER+), or triple negative? Or maybe they haven’t told you yet. You might be given a drug such as Tamoxifen, but it really depends on your type. Your team will explain everything as you go along, and you can always contact the lovely nurses on here - their number is at the top of the page 08088006000. Sorry, that is probably more information than you expected, but I hope it helps a bit. The diagnosis is a big shock and it’s really important that you look after your mind as well as your body. Try to take one day at a time, and be especially kind to yourself. Lots of treats and time for yourself, doing what makes you feel good. Maybe consider one of the mindful apps, such as Calm or Headspace, or a box set of something easy to watch. Please feel free to ask any questions or chat further, anytime. I wish you all the best for your surgery, and please do keep in touch and let us know how you get on. Evie xx ... View more

Hi @Katie8 - a big welcome to this lovely forum, and thank you for such lovely words in your message, and for such a positive reassuring message. Obviously I’m very sorry to read about your lumps and referral and wanted to send hugs while you wait for your results. We are all here right with you, so chat anytime.  You might want to jot down some questions in advance of your appointment, certainly take a note book with you. I’m sure you have been told that there are lots of innocent reasons for lumps and breast changes, but in case it’s not it helps to be able to write things down. I had my treatment about 4 years ago and still have to take a notebook otherwise I forget my questions and also the answers! We’ll be right with you on Thursday, and if you feel like it please do come back and let us know how you get on. Best wishes and hugs, Evie xx ... View more

@Mrsmillie - please don’t apologise for sounding negative, this is exactly the right place to come when you want to offload. I wish I could say something to make it all better, but I’ve learned over the past few years that sometimes just listening is the best thing we can do. So if it helps, please continue to chat and I’m here to listen. Say whatever you want, let it all out. I know what you mean about family trying to help, but not really quite getting it. I’m currently worrying about a hip problem - in my rational times I think it’s muscular, but in the middle of the night I convince myself that the BC has returned. My husband tries to reassure me but he doesn’t really understand the fear goblin that lurks constantly. Sending hugs to you, Evie xx ... View more

Hi NeensA - thanks very much for the update, that’s great news that it’s working so well and especially that they are going to be able to get rid of the tattoos totally. I had got used to having mine, but actually if I’d love to be rid of them. Evie xx ... View more

Hi Mrsmillie - I’m really sorry to read about your second diagnosis and how you are feeling, so first of all I wanted to send you a big hug. I’m not sure what I can add to the wonderful advice you have already received, but one book I have found very helpful is “The Cancer Survivor’s Companion” by Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins - it reminds us that fears are NOT facts. I think most people can relate to letting our minds race ahead and fearing the worst, I know I do even if I advise others not to! I particularly agree with @sharlea comment about it taking a strong person to ask for help, and a stronger one to admit to feeling overwhelmed. What very lovely and true words. I love that on this forum everyone can be themselves, it’s a safe and non judgmental place where no explanation is ever needed. We are all here to hold each other’s hands and support each other. Evie xx   ... View more

Hi Poppy - thank you for your kind reply. You are very wise in your approach, taking one day at a time is the best way - I often advise others to do that, but forget to do it myself! I read somewhere that if we worry about something and it turns out to be ok then we have wasted time worrying, and if it isn’t ok then we have worried twice about the same thing. Wise words - of course easier to say than put into practice. I would hang onto the words your consultant has used that you are “cancer free”, that’s a good positive description. They don’t use these terms lightly. You are so right that we need a strong head and body to go through all this, as well as a degree in understanding what they mean. I remember one letter after a mammogram was worded so badly that I wasn’t sure if they had found something or not 😳 I’m happy to chat anytime you need while you wait, the wait time is always tough. Hugs, Evie xx ... View more

Hi Poppy - Doctors/consultants often seem to speak in what I call “Doctor language”, and they forget that their patients don’t always understand. I’ve had appointments and letters where I’ve had to ask them to clarify as their terminology can seem alarming sometimes. I’m sorry I can’t help with your question but would suggest you either try to get hold of your oncologist, or sometimes you can speak to their secretary and email a question for the consultant, or call the nurses on here for advice. I hope the bruising on your stomach clears up quickly and that all is well once you have had your scan. Evie xx ... View more

Hi Emma - that’s great that you have such a lovely helpful and reassuring surgeon. It’s important that you ask him as many questions as you need while you make a decision. You really shouldn’t feel guilty about having a reconstruction, although I can understand where you are coming from as I have never got round to having a nipple reconstruction. Reconstruction and body image is such a personal thing, everyone feels differently about it. Only you can decide whether you would be happy staying flat, as many people are, or if reconstruction would help you to move forward. Maybe write down a list of the pros and cons, and also have a chat with people who have stayed flat - I believe there are groups called Flat Friends. Then you will know that you have explored every option - and I think your instinct will tell you what option you prefer. I wish you all the very best and I genuinely mean it, please keep chatting and mulling over options on here if you think I or anyone else can help. Evie xx ... View more

Hi Emma - my implant is on top of the pectoral muscle, it sits in some sort of sling thing (I think called Braxon). I’m quite small breasted and I can see a bit of rippling of the implant, nothing much, but if you had one under the muscle I don’t think that would be an issue. You’ve asked some good questions and I had to go and lie down to see what it feels like!! No I don’t feel like I’ve got a foreign object in my body, I really am not aware of it when I’m dressed or exercising, hence why I had to check before I answered your question. I’ll try to describe it..... I don’t have much if any feeling in my right breast and when I lie down, it’s a bit like lying on a firm but soft ball. It doesn’t hurt at all, but it’s firmer than my left one. I don’t sleep on my front but I am fine to do things like yoga poses. The skin doesn’t feel tight or uncomfortable, only my arm sometimes gets a bit stiff after having a node clearance. I hope that helps a bit, but I’m happy to answer as many questions as you think of. Have you asked your surgeon to show you any photos of previous operations he/she has done? It might help you to make your decision. I have a friend who had the LD flap, from her back, and she continues to do Pilates without problems - I think she had an implant too. Evie xx ... View more

@Amarilys85 - hi and a big welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to read about your mother and also that you are also dealing with some changes that are worrying you, on top of Covid effects. It is not surprising that you are worried given your mother’s diagnosis, and also that your mind is rushing ahead and fearing the worst. The waiting time really is an awful time, but we are all here to hold your hand and get you through it. You really are not alone on here, it is a safe non judgmental site where everyone just “gets it”, you never have to explain anything.  You might want to consider calling the lovely nurses on here - the number is at the top right of the page - 08088006000. They obviously have medical knowledge but are great at listening too. While you wait see if you can hold onto the fact that most breast changes are harmless/benign, but you have done exactly the right thing by getting the changes investigated. Doctors are always super cautious and want to check things out. I’m not medical and so don’t want to offer any medical advice, but I wonder if the dimpling could possibly be related to the amount of weight you have lost - as you yourself have suggested. There may be excess skin if weight has also gone from your breasts? Just a thought - especially as you seem to have dimpling/changes in exactly the same place on each breast? When do you get your results? Have you thought about speaking to your GP to see if you could speak to a counsellor? I had some counselling after my treatment and it was very very helpful. But in the meantime I am very happy to continue chatting or listening. I had my treatment about 4 years ago and really understand exactly how you are feeling. I get those same feelings each year when mammogram time comes round. Sending you and your mum big hugs. Evie xx   ... View more

Hi Emma - I just wanted to drop by and offer my experience with an implant. I had my implant at the same time as my mastectomy (also my right side), about 4 years ago. It doesn’t exactly match my real one, the implant is slightly bigger and more round so I wear a small breast form on my real one to even things up under clothes. I am very happy with my decision and really don’t notice it any more. I can do yoga, sport etc without problems. Reconstruction or not is such a personal decision, and you are doing the right thing by asking lots of questions and finding out other people’s experiences. I am very happy to chat more about an implant and answer any questions if I can.  Evie xx ... View more

Morning Mermaid79 - I’m sure all the hugs from your lovely boys helped loads yesterday, and sometimes it’s good to let it out rather than bottle it all up. I think the feelings after diagnosis are a real rollercoaster, very up and down, and you may well be experiencing the after effects of 2 general anaesthetic. Plus it takes time to get your mind around everything that has just happened. It’s great that you have a good family/friends support team, but like you I found it enormously helpful to chat on here to others going through treatment or who had already finished, as they knew exactly what I meant without me having to explain. Some friends/family assumed that once I had finished treatment that I was “mended” and over it, a bit like having a broken leg that mends. I know they mean well, and just want to help us move on, but it’s useful to have this forum too.  The test you refer to is called the Oncotype test, where a sample is sent to America and they can see whether chemotherapy will be of any benefit to you. Fingers crossed you won’t need it, but if you do then as you say what will be will be and there are monthly chemo groups on here who will help you get through it. I had chemo so will also be happy to help you. But let’s not even go there for now, best to continue to take one day at a time. Much more fun is to start planning fun things for the summer with your boys, and don’t worry about not doing much with them this half term. Just being there for them, chatting, hugging is most important. Sometimes as mums we put additional pressure on ourselves. I hope each day you feel better and that the swelling goes down quickly, I can’t remember how long mine took. Please keep chatting on here when you want/need - we all just “get it”, it’s also anonymous so you can offload without any fear of judgment. Thank you for your kind weekend wishes too. Evie xx ... View more

@Mermaid79 - I’m sorry for not replying sooner, thank you for your reply and kind words. I’m sorry to hear about your discomfort and I know exactly what you mean about being apprehensive to take off the dressing. I would like to start by telling you what I discovered about pain relief. I carried on taking pain relief for a while after leaving hospital, then one day I thought I was ok so stopped all pain relief. That was a big mistake and I had a lot of pain. Apparently I should have been told to ease off the painkillers slowly, not stop suddenly. So do take advice about how to manage your painkillers - I think it’s best to stay on top of the pain, rather than let it get too much. Also don’t hesitate to speak to your BC nurse at your hospital for further advice, or if you are worried about anything. I am squeamish so a nurse removed my dressing - it would still be on if left to me!! You are doing really well with your exercises, it is so important to keep up with them, so do congratulate yourself for keeping up with them. Little and often is the easiest, rather than have them turn into a chore. If you are having radiotherapy you will need to get your arm up, sort of at right angles to your body, and your hand behind your head (if you can imagine what I mean). It is still very early days after your op, so make sure you listen to your body and don’t overdo things. Lots of rest and a short walk when you are up to it. Have you been given information about how to minimise your risk of lymphoedema? The early days seem endless, I was so frustrated about not being able to get clothes over my head, but then suddenly things changed and very quickly I was back to a new normal. So hang in there, and very soon you will feel a lot better. I’m not sure if I have really given much help here, but please feel free to ask anything else that I might be able to help with, or if you just want to chat while you wait for your results - do you know when you will get them? Sending you gentle get well hugs, Evie xx ... View more

@Padwick - Hi Helen, thank you for your kind reply. I just wanted to let you know that sometimes people who are post menopausal are given Tamoxifen. I became post menopausal while on Tamoxifen and my consultant decided to keep me on it as I was tolerating it well, but it may be changed this year or next. I’m nervous about changing but we’ll see! All the best to you and do ask any more questions you think of. Evie xx ... View more

@Mermaid79 - a big welcome to this lovely forum, I hope you will find lots of support as you go through treatment. I’m sorry to hear that you had to have a second surgery, unfortunately they can never be sure what they are going to find until you have surgery. And there is so much waiting for results, that is always hard as our minds go into overdrive and we fear the worst. I had chemo, a mastectomy, node clearance and radiotherapy about 4 years ago, so I am happy to answer any questions. But while you wait we are all here for you, to listen, to chat and help you through the waiting. I’m not medical so I wouldn’t like to give any medical advice or comment on your treatment, but you might like to call the nurses on here - their number is at the top right of this page. Your team will be looking very carefully at your individual case and working out what is the best plan for you. It sounds a cliche, but now is the time to be extra kind to yourself, and take one day at a time. One book I have reminds us that “fears are not facts”, and that we should try to deal with what we know rather than speculating about what might be. I’m very happy to chat more any time it helps. In the meantime I’m sending you a big virtual hug, Evie xx ... View more

@Lbythesea - welcome from me too, and a big hug coming your way too. I’m really glad you managed to get over the technical issues and join the forum - but please do ask if you have any other questions about how to use it. You have already had lots of wise words from other lovely ladies on here. I’m not sure what I can add, but I wondered whether you have seen this article - http://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf While we go through treatment we are on the treadmill with medical people holding our hands, then all of a sudden treatment ends and we are on our own and have time to think about what the heck just happened to us. Where did that truck come from that just hit us without warning? I also wanted to reassure you that your post didn’t sound negative. It sounded very normal and many people on here will relate to those feelings. You never need to worry about saying how you feel on here, you will never be judged - quite the opposite as you have found, lots of people will come on to support you. I had my treatment about 4 years ago, chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. As everyone else has said, it really is a case of taking things one day at a time, listening to your body and being kind to yourself. It’s still early days, build up gradually. Evie xx ... View more

@emma6789 - thank you for your kind reply. You are most definitely not pathetic not wanting to look at the scar. Do it in your time and in your way, baby steps. Even though I had a reconstruction mine don’t now match each other so I use a prosthesis or breast form to even things up. Evie xx ... View more

@emma6789 - first of all, welcome to the forum. I hope you find help and support, but do ask any questions any time. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction but am very squeamish so I too didn’t want to look at my scar and changes to my chest. In the end of course I had to, but it was a gradual thing. Like you I tried to keep dressings in place as long as possible, and after that I would shower without looking at my chest and would make sure I was always dressed in front of any mirrors. But very slowly I started to look and am now used to it. It really is an individual thing, there’s no easy fix unfortunately. All I would say is give yourself time to adjust, don’t beat yourself up about not looking or being upset by it. We have gone through a big change, had a big shock diagnosis, and this new chest is a constant reminder. So getting used to it is all part of dealing with the mental side of the diagnosis. I’m not sure that helps at all, but I just wanted to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. Have you got a prosthesis or some other breast form so that you look more even when dressed? I think there are various support groups for those who don’t have reconstruction that you might want to join. Or try searching on the forum - the search box is just above this message, but make sure you search the whole forum not just “this board”. I’m happy to chat more about this, or anything else. Sending hugs, Evie xx ... View more