Hi Rita , im just recently diagnosed too although i have been in remission for 20 years from another cancer. Although my cancers are genetic and i'm at high risk of several , this is one i didnt expect and has been found qite by chance by my G.P.. I would never have guessed it was a breast lump as it is so high up almost on my breast bone , so dont beat yoursrelf up about not finding it earlier . The main thing is ..its found now and will be treated .Yes its a time when emotions are all over the place , you feel as though your'e wading through treacle blindfolded . Having cancer again is bringing back all the feelings i had years ago .. the difference is at least i KNOW now.. all this will pass .. i promise you ...hard to believe at this point but you will find a day ahead when you suddenly realise having cancer hasnt entered your thoughts that day. For the moment it is what it is ..and fighting the continual thoughts of it is a struggle.. but you WILL win . I made a decision early on that THIS was NOT going to control or define me !..and it was vital to have at least 1 pleasurable thing a day no matter what . However your life was before , in a job you hate ,caring for others at the expense of your own wellbeing , whatever ...NOW is the time for YOU ...avoid the things that stress you or make you unhappy , alter whats not right for you in your liife , avoid people who make you feel worse and get help in any form when you feel you need it . This is not being selfish , this is a time for pampering yourself and keeping positive . I am on antidepressants at the moment and finding they are really helping me cope . Its a wonderful thing to have this site and if you have a Maggies Centre look in, its bright and calm with a lot of caring people to help . Keep looking forward , everybody here is with you X
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