Breast Cancer Now Forum

I've not been on this forum for a couple of years now and it's so lovely to see it's still here, such a relief to find ladies to share our darkest thoughts, fears and hopes with.  I'm so sorry I've not checked in to offer my support to other ladies for so long, I used to and then I guess life just moves along and you find a new normal... I've got my 4 year mammogram next Tuesday at The Royal Marsden.  I always start to get stressed when September moves into October, the rest of the year my fears are never far away but they don't interfere with me getting on with life - it is there to be lived after all isn't it! For some reason this year I have an awful sense of foreboding washing over me.  I don't know why but a little voice inside my head is suggesting an outcome of my scan that I don't want to even think about.  It's affecting my sleep, my relationship a little as I'm a bit snappy (with a very understanding partner) and I'm struggling to concentrate on my work which is very full-on. Today I feel really lonely.  I've decided to work from home as I don't want to put a smiley face on but I'm struggling to focus and I don't know what to do to distract myself otherwise it's going to be a very long couple of weeks to my scan and then waiting for the result.... I also feel like I should bloomin well snap out of it, that I should be grateful my BC journey was so much easier than so many other ladies.  An early diagnosis from regular screening with a lumpectomy and 20 rounds of radiotherapy back in 2017 with 5 years of Letrozole to follow - what have I got to moan about?!! If anyone has some good ideas to help me get back on with my life (and park my fears) that would be much appreciated. Thank you, Anita ... View more

Evening All (wasn’t that the opening statement for Dixon of Dock Green for anyone old enough to remember???). I’ve not posted on the Forum for a little while although I do check in quite regularly to see how everyone is doing. So, one year tomorrow, precisely, my world changed. Feeling a bit rubbish tonight hence the late post but I know I will still get at least one response from the night owls!! Kept myself busy watching the International Space Station fly past us a little earlier, such a great distraction from normality when you watch it whizz over our planet knowing there are real people up there!!! If I think of the last 12 months from July 25th 2017, it’s such a blur from the ‘routine’ mammogram that ended up being two mammograms, an ultrasound and biopsy all within 2 hours of turning up that day. What followed was a confirmed diagnosis of IDC Grade 2 Breast Cancer two days later followed by ovarian scan, removal of contraceptive implant, cervical smear, colonscopy, lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, radiotherapy x 15 regular sessions and 5 super sessions, Letrozole, DEXA bone density scan, full body rash suspected side effect from radiotherapy or Letrozole. Changed brand of Letrozole. Rib pain followed by another ultrasound and bone scan as they achieved less than 1 mm clear margin from my surgery. All clear thankfully and life goes on!!! Back in June I completed the 20 Mile Pink Ribbon Walk with a good friend of mine for BCC and was delighted to raise £1,870 for this wonderful charity. So tonight I am fresh out of positivity to be honest. I know how fortunate I have been and I’m well aware of the no of women enduring this miserable journey, all with different treatment plans and outcomes, but it doesn’t stop the overwhelming crash tonight when I re-live tomorrow and worry that, at any second, IT could come back and I just don’t want that horrible, negative feeling hanging over me like a hurricane waiting to happen!! I need to give myself a slap with a cold wet fish to stop indulging myself in the ‘what ifs’ and what really may be around the corner scenarios but tonight I jut can’t. This horrible diagnosis locks you in with the misery I’m reluctant to say. Answers on a postcard please xxxx ... View more

Good evening lovely ladies on this forum. It’s been a while since I posted and I just wanted to drop in to offer some positivity to those who have recently been diagnosed. I was diagnosed in July last year through routine screening with a grade 2 tumour invasive ER+. My journey from July to December included lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, colonoscopy, ovarian scan, bone density scan and 20 rounds of radiotherapy which finished on 1st December. What a rollercoaster of a ride for me and my loved ones. Thankfully I had no lymph nodes affected and was discharged from active treatment in January so now on an open access programme at the Royal Marsden with Letrozole and annual screening. My first mammogram post diagnosis in the diary for October. I just wanted to say to everyone who finds themselves here that you are among friends, in a safe place where you can vent, cry and share your fears and you will be supported every step of the way. We all have our own journeys with breast cancer and I honestly did not think that I would feel this positive so soon after my treatment ended but I do and I’ve had some very dark times especially when waiting for results - the worst part of this journey in my opinion but I was not going to let it define me. I’m getting on with my life now and day by day it slips a little bit further from my immediate thoughts It will never go away, of course it won’t but life is for living and I feel very positive about it so I just wanted to give hope and send positive hugs to everyone who’s just arrived. I’ve also signed up to do 20 miles on the pink ribbon 🎀 walk in June and have so far raised just over £900 as I’m so passionate about supporting this wonderful charity and more importantly the community champions on this forum who are always there for all of us - bless them all - a team of life savers. Goodnight ladies. One day at a time. Be kind to yourselves. Take care Anita xxx ... View more