Breast Cancer Now Forum

Camo, They will look after your husband tonight for you. He will be in good hands. Totally understand the feelings. I felt I was on my knees with anxiety and fear. You do get up eventually and square up to this thing, I promise. This time next week your surgery will be done and you will be a HUGE step forward. They have to tell you the worst case scenarios which fill you with fear, but a lot of what they say you might have to experience does not happen once they have the pathology report and the final jigsaw pieces.    Try taking those diazepam right before bedtime. They might make you sleep.    Lots of hands squeezing your hand tonight.    xx ... View more

So sorry to hear those margins weren’t clear Rabbit. It was the same for me, they had to have a second go but second time round was much easier than the first physically. Mentally, you feel you haven’t moved on but you have, hun. Very common to find out the tumour size is not accurate either.  They can’t be 100% accurate till that path report. These are all parts of the jigsaw they have to put together before they go in to KICK ITS ASS. Hang in there. Lots of us hugging you x x  ... View more

Dear Camo, If you can’t sleep tonight, remember there are lots of us squeezing your hand tonight. We KNOW these feelings all too well. Sorry you have to be here but you are not alone. A lot of well meaning friends told me to “be strong” and “be positive.” Ouch! There is no wrong or right way. Whatever feelings you are having are the right ones. Howl at the moon if you want to! It’s all part of the process. You are in shock at the moment. You are still processing really scary information. It will get easier.   I echo the wise words of the others. This first bit is the worst. You can do this.  ... View more

Nikki, two weeks till radiotherapy CT planning and tattoo then RT starts two weeks after that. Always wanted a tattoo but kinda imagined a dragon lol. Go easy with that cream lifting! No twisting or sudden movements! I am 2 weeks post op and the bad boy still let’s me know it’s unhappy if I have a sneaky hoover or lift anything. Consultant said today that even though you look healed on the outside, there is a lot going on inside. Glad you enjoyed that wine. I have a large gin gripped in my hand as I type lol. I have tried to be good since diagnosis but tonight is “special”.    Helena, thank you for the great advice about the RT thread. Ironically I am a radiographer, albeit a diagnostic one, not a therapy rad, so it’s a bit of a shock being on the other side of the radiation. New life experience to chalk up.   Caroline xxxx     ... View more

Hello!  So happy to be able to say I finally got those clear margins! I was so convinced that  they wouldn’t get them that I was already choking back the tears when the consultant came into the room. Then I realised he was smiling! Next stop is the radiotherapy hotel. Never thought I would feel so thrilled to be booking in there.    This is the first time since this nightmare began in July that I have been told some good news. There have been so many scary conversations in those consulting rooms. Almost hard to process that things went my way today. I also feel almost guilty for posting this when you haven’t got your results yet Nikki, like other ladies out there tonight.   After reading some of the forums I felt resigned to a third WLE or oncoplasty. I felt like these clear margins were elusive beasts. I have posted this in the hope that the WLE second timers take comfort that clear margins are indeed possible. (Plus, nothing scary re the golf ball seroma...... gonna leave it to heal itself).   Nikki, hope you have had a brighter day today?    Helena, those tough pants were awesome (consultant was bit surprised to see them tho matched the compression bra well).    Love Caroline x  ... View more

Thanks so much Nikki and Helena for being there tonight. Feel worse tonight than I did last time around waiting for these damned pathology results. Appt is not till 4pm so gonna have to keep busy and tidy my knicker drawer or something (!).  I never thought I would want to hear the words “radiotherapy for you now girl”  so much in all my life. What a booby prize (s’cuse the pun 🙄 ).   Nikki, give into that drained feeling and let yourself rest and repair in the workshop. Body’s way of helping you process all the fear and shock of what is going on. I hope you sleep well tonight and wake up feeling that bit better tomorrow. You had to be brave on Monday so it takes its toil. You did good, Hun.   I will let you know how things work out tomorrow.    Big hug ladies, Caroline xxxx ... View more

Aaaah, that has made my day! I will rock those pants all the way to the consultants office tomorrow. You have made me smile big time 😄 🌻 Thank you!!!! Xxxxx ... View more

Hello!  So pleased to hear those pesky sweats have improved a bit. It’s bad enough having the diagnosis but equally crap to lose that control over your life that HRT gives you. They have left me on the pill till I get through the surgery but I am pretty worried about what the effects wil be.   This may be something for you to think about: My consultant said that usually HRT and the pill are out the window, HOWEVER some ladies have such a crap time they have to rethink this and put them back on it. They mentioned a type of HRT that was not quite as strong as most but would still lessen symptoms, my Breast care nurse said it was better to have these sort of discussions with the Oncologist  rather than the surgeons (when we both get that far) because they are experts on drug implications. Hopefully, you will ride this out now but just wanted to share this with you.   Looks like you and I got diagnosed about the same time! DCIS too, 18mm, found on routine screening mammo. Didn’t clear one of the margins so had 2nd WLE two weeks ago.  Judgement day Mark 2 tomorrow,  get the results late afternoon. I hit the shops today to try to distract myself but it is hard to silence all those worries in your head isn’t it. What is it about 3am lol!!! If I get clear margins 2 mo, then I will feel like I have won the lottery. Rads next. If not.........hmmmm, let’s cross that bridge 2mo.    Have developed a seroma alas, so bit of a golf ball on the poor bad boy now as well 🤕 .   I know what you mean about family and friends. I hate putting them through all this. I have great support but don’t think I have ever felt so lonely at times.    Hang in there, Hun. Sorry you are sore. Everyday will be bit better. I suggest chocolate, a ridiculous reality TV show and a weep on the phone to a mate (then more chocolate).     Caroline xx ... View more

Hi Nikki, Guessing from your last post that you didn’t get those clear margins and you have had second WLE? So sorry to hear that. Me too, alas. Hope you are recovering well today, though have a good idea about how fed up you feel having had to run at this again, I find out in 48 hrs if my second WLE has clear margins this time around. Tense time!   Rest set up now and try to be good to yourself while you are playing the waiting game again. I have found hat worse than the procedures so far.   Really sorry about you having to come off HRT. Once again, there are similarities between us because I have been told I have to come off the progesterone pill and I am fearful about what will happen next. I am 52 and have been on it for 30 years because of difficult periods. I am so worried I am going to launch back into bad periods or menopausal symptoms on top of this rubbish diagnosis!    Hope it went ok yesterday and you sleep well tonight. Hang in there. Caroline  ... View more

Cathy, you have summed up the "thankfully asleep" thing so well. When I wake at the moment, it is a sharp intake of breath at having to face it again. You have made me smile about the positivity comments too. Can't hear that from people at the moment! Felt the most support from those friends who have wept with me the last couple of days.  When I looked out the window this morning at everyone going about their business on a normal Sunday morning, I felt very alone and different from everyone. Hearing back from you girls has made a huge difference already. Thank you for sending me some strength this morning (will probably be nuts again in an hour but grateful to feel better at this moment in time).  ... View more

Means so much, Cathy and Ann, to hear you say that. Thank you. Have felt very alone the last few days even tho family and friends have been brilliant. . There is something about :3am at the moment when I am bolt awake with my heart pounding in my chest. . Reading the Threads has kept me going through last night. Thank you for your kind welcome xxx ... View more

52, diagnosed three days ago after being recalled from screening. Second stereo biopsy tomorrow morning because they are now worried about a second area in same breast. I am calm one minute then can't breathe with panic the next. Never ever felt this much fear! I work in a dept with about 100 ladies. Six colleagues diagnosed over last couple of years, similar ages. Head psychology feels messed up because ticked  mammo  off my "to do" list as a well woman and now being told I the opposite. May be 52 but feel like a scared kid!                    ... View more