Breast Cancer Now Forum

Cathy how awful that you have this worry - maybe a conversation with the BCN or the nurses on here would help? Talking it over may help with some strategies on how to keep the panic at bay while you are waiting. Sorry I dont know how else to reassure you but sending huge hugs anyway xx Are you still in the middle of rads too? I have lost track a bit so sorry We have just been to Italy for a couple of days which followed on from a job interview 2oo miles away last week - cant believe how much I am zooming around - still have lots of arthritis from the letrozole I think they might have to change it which will be a blow but the wrists and ankles are getting beyond a joke In Italy I climbed to the top of vesuvius and halfway up when all I could see was vertical track I got really emotional as it seemed such a metaphor for going through treatment which had finished 9 weeks earlier - such an uphill climb for the view at the top... I had to have a limoncello before walking back down! Hope everyone is ok and that you get some peace Cathy between now and your appointment x ... View more

Hi everyone - thanks so much for sharing your survival stats thoughts - I know from my Maggie's group that there are strong feelings in several ways about what they mean and if they should be discussed at all. I did ask the onco and she was good giving me a 10% extra protection against recurrence figure for the letrozole (I had no idea) and similar figures as you all re 5 and 10 year survival. I love the quote though that I am 100% me - and I will remember this of course - but was interesting to have discussions with my daughters who are in their 20s as we end up discussing when they plan to have children etc - I think they just want to make sure I am around to babysit! Cathy I really hope your radiotherapy has started or at least is planned - its an awful thing to wait for any treatment no matter what it is. Hope your exercise plan is going well Fairy - I am very excited that I have lost over 10kg since finishing treatment mid feb - not that it makes me look any better as I had put it all on over chemo. My mum said to me 'what did you eat to lose that much?' to which the answer was - nothing! Not true have just cut down and have been very hungry but the plan is to get back to pre-diagnosis weight and stay there - not easy on medication! Is anyone else coming to the anniversary of diagnosis - is weird to think that a year ago life was zooming along with no knowledge what was ahead. Jow when is your surgery? All best to you - hope treatment is gradually coming to a close - we are dotting to Naples next week to celebrate here - first time on a plane and I used to fly for work every week it will be so strange. I didn't quite get rid of my onco sadly - my liver is still keeping me as a customer and it will be scanned for the 3rd time soon but they don't think is cancer... but all else is going quite well apart from being so creaky and sore at night but definitely getting there Take care all x ... View more

Jow your holiday sounds amazing well done for embracing it all. Cathy have you started rads? Hope everyone is doing well - I have what I think is the last oncology appointment tomorrow before being handed over to the surgeons for follow up for ever or near enough! I'm nervous for tomorrow but not really sure why. I also feel like I want a conversation about statistics and recovery - has anyone else had these brutal conversations? Am not sure if this is something they will tell me or not but I would rather ask the team re survival than be at the mercy of google... Luckily have booked a treat night away so whatever they say I have something to look forward to.. xx ... View more

Cathy glad you are getting used to your new hair - bet you are rocking it. Mine is about 2 inches now - dark grey and white at the front - people say it is nice on me but so different from wild long blond curls! I was at a Macmillan beauty thing today and the other lovely ladies there were still going through chemo - it made me realise how far we have come on the road and seems a long time since first chemo started - I dont want to go back there either thank you very much... Hope everyone has had a good start to the week xx ... View more

Hope your holiday is fab Jo - and I bet Cathy you are rocking the gold look - next stop platinum as planned... Fairy have a relaxing weekend after your sad week - wish I could send you my daughters ragdoll cats for a cheer up cuddle - they are better than medicine for me and I love being a cat-granny - not sure if I posted a photo before but I will try again. I did the dinner with no hat last week and survived - but got a bit ahead of myself as didn't realise when walking in to breakfast there were about 70 people sitting down and eating and i panicked as there were so many and went straight back upstairs for my hat! Hair is getting longer all the time though so it all will be a thing of the past very soon hopefully - I will never stop missing my lovely curls. Hope everyone is ok tonight - I have had a lovely day with my girls making the most of them before one or other of them leaves the country again - they are not both in the same place often xx ... View more

Sending hugs Fairy - sometimes you need to cut people out for your own mental well health - time to look after number one for greater peace of mind in the long run x ... View more

Hi folks - so sorry Cathy you have more stuff to follow up - what a long haul you have had. I've been to moving on stuff too - the Maggie's Where Now? sessions are brilliant as the person running them is superb - and the Macmillan moving on session today was quite good. I also went to a nutrition session at Maggie's - it must be difficult for them to cover such a huge subject across a group of people where some are underweight some are over - some are neutropenic, some anaemic - they did quite well. Glad you are enjoying the gym too - my attempt at weight loss has required lots of attempts at work outs and pilates - all at home due to the snow - in fact I suspect shifting snow and planting trees has done me more good than the work outs - I have done something mysterious to my hip and not sure if this is self-inflicted or a letrozole side effect. The physio today said to leave it for a few weeks as it may get better - I hope so as it keeps waking me up. Jow I had zometa but IV infusion - and has led to calcium tablets everyday - I didn't realise there was an oral version. We are away to a hotel with a bunch of friends this weekend - I was in 2 minds completely whether to wear a wig or to come 'out' with the short hair look - very different from my huge blond curls -whilst I was in 2 minds my lovely husband wrote to the hotel saying how it will be a treat for me after my treatment and they have upgraded us to a suite! So I think this is the clincher as I will need to look like a patient now to look the part! Fairydust hope rads is going well - am a month past mine now and have barely a memory of going at all which is weird - I hope you are not too tired with yours. Have a peaceful night everyone xx ... View more

Have a great neverending birthday Cathy - well deserved - is this the child free trip? Hope it is amazing and you can switch off completely. No ill effects from shoveling snow for me - so chuffed to be making pizzas, cleaning bathrooms again - have been a sloth for long enough - it's true when they say the fatigue just cant be got past and to give in to it - I had no choice and am glad I rested when I did. Have a lovely weekend everyone and stay safe in this horrible weather xx ... View more

Hope radiotherapy is going well Fairydust and that everyone is safe and warm. Been cut off here for a few days but all is good - so grateful that rads is finished for me as I would have been away from home all week with the weather. I seem to have turned a corner with energy which is much welcomed and long overdue - if you had told me a week ago I would be digging cars out of the snow today etc it would have been hard to believe. How are you doing Cathy? Did you get away? Hope there are lie-ins aplenty if you did. Jow did you get results? Mishy hope you not snowed under... Back to jobhunting - been signed off till mid April but need to start to have a plan - started letrozole yesterday which is a really weird thought that this is now my routine for the next ten years - good job is for a good reason! x ... View more

Good luck tomorrow for everyone having rads tomorrow xx Keep cosy folks ... View more

Fairydust I'm pretty sure being true to yourself does not count as letting people down - it is important to give yourself permission to do whatever it takes for self-preservation - it wont be forever - our mental health is as fragile as our physical health and we are the main caretakers of both so we have to be very protective on our own behalf.. In the same vein Cathy I hope you get a lie in a bit tomorrow - am hoping for more gardening weather and also that the only uncomfortable part of the day will be the Scotland/England score at the rugby... xx ... View more

Fairydust there is such heart and compassion coming through from everyone who writes on here I think all of us ladies are trying to please everyone all the time and you are right we need to learn the art of putting ourselves first. My OH is being so patient at the moment - I find this stage of recovery so frustrating as when full on in chemo or rads I didn't really complain to him and got on with the job in hand whereas now the constant joint and muscle pain makes me feel like more of a whinger than before. I feel like he has had weeks of me grunting and creaking around and I grump about it because I am frustrated with myself - I dont know how he is being so nice - I often tell him I hope he never gets ill as I dont think I could do as good a job of looking after him as he has of me. Spoke too soon re being unscathed after zometa and had a rough night with backache and a temp of 37.9 - am sure paracetamol would have settled it but am so reluctant to take tablets I didnt bother - OH was in the spare room so at least he missed the tossing and turning! So last day of the big tv and olympics today - am going to get up and plant two apple trees then come back to bed - this is a bonkers time for us all isnt it?! Jo I found myself wondering what happens if you mistake the vag moisturiser for other creams and put it on your face etc Haha! am intrigued and seriously interested in how it works as well as starting letrozole next week so will be in the market for the very same. Have a good Friday folks x ... View more

Hi Fairydust sorry you are a bit lethargic and sore - I was much more so after chemo finished than in the middle of it- the muscle pains lifted a tiny bit after about 3 weeks though am still just generally feeling a bit meh Cathy hope you are excited for your weekend - my computer loaded this forum today at the page where your drain was accidentally pulled out and you put it back in - goodness you are such a machine and have been through so much! The zometa bone strengthener doesn't seem to have caused me any problems today - I actually felt quite energised and went for a 15 min speed walk with the OH - and the diet has started in earnest so cant tell if I have SE or am just hangry - I miss choc already! The adcal tablets have rules about what to eat or not around taking them so studying that is like a PhD in itself.... Hope sniffles are improving Chaffinch and Ali you are continuing to rock the postop stuff Am about to rearrange the bedroom back from all the medical stuff beside the bed and move the huge huge telly I had in here for chemo tv watching but am having separation anxiety about moving that so it is staying for now! I have turned so lazy! Have a good evening everyone x ... View more

Glad you are taking it easy and recovering well Ali - had first Zometa today and managed a CT scan without any histrionics although scan machine phobia still is going strong. No SE really but feel a bit like I have a hangover (I wish!) - so this is now treatment finished for me completely - just the small matter of 10 years of tablets and seems that am going to be taking calcium tablets too which they sprung on me today - 4 tablets a day bah- but still am celebrating being cancer and cancer treatment free. Been a long time since having a lump last Christmas that took me 5 months to go to a doctor..... Sending hugs to everyone whatever hills you are currently climbing - you have all been an enormous support over the months xxx ... View more

Hope surgery went well Ali and you have a comfortable evening. Not been on for a while as despite finishing radiotherapy am still a bit battered and grumbly - rads was fine and skin and tiredness ok - but since finishing chemo, joints and muscles have been awful - am watching the Olympics at night and feeling like a crashed skier as even in bed am sore from shin splints and bruised heels etc - does anybody have any ideas what to do? We have delayed starting Letrozole and am due Zometa in 2 days and both of these things cause joint pain and the thought of it getting worse is not funny! Am still off some food and nails are coming off so am a bit of a wreck - I wasn't expecting it to be worse following chemo than actually on it. Am still gardening and bouncing around and trying to find a new job but is such a drag being so sore - especially at a time when everyone thinks I must be on cloud 9 for finishing treatment. Good news from the dentist today at least, as we need the all clear before the Zometa (it makes the jawbone go solid and so extractions are not allowed) - after my enormous extraction which delayed chemo last year the teeth are fine phew! Blood test today too prior to Zometa - soon there will be a week with no tests! Hope everyone else is getting on better and having a good day x Mrs M ... View more

Congratulations Jow - so happy for you that you are finished rads - my last one tomorrow - there is no bell but am excited as am taking in a box of tiny wrapped heart shaped soaps for the radiographers - 30 of them for valentines day as I love them all! Not sure if I wrote it on here or the radiotherapy thread but am extremely over anxious about the machines and would rather have surgery than radiotherapy ! So the staff have been very understanding and they are all my valentine this year. OH has booked us to stay in the city again but not as posh a deal as last night- we are going to see the Churchill film at the cinema then dinner - hope film is loud so I don't fall asleep! Hope everyone is doing well - Cathy is your birthday still ongoing? sending positive thoughts to you all xxx ... View more

Many times during this process I have described myself as being emotionally incontinent!! I am a crier anyway and have no chance now of keeping it under control - happy or sad - oh well... Have a lovely day everyone x ... View more

Fairydust your emotions are in turmoil and that is ok - in my vast experience (haha) men are fairly simple beings and the fact he is still with you means he is happy and you are doing everything right by being you - he is a lucky man and you should remind him of that!! This will make you laugh - I have had to do the long journey up to treatment twice today to avoid the weather warning and managed to get a hotel room at a great deal for under £50 with a bottle of prosecco deal, robes slippers the lot - except my lovely husband couldn't come up as he is working so I am in the most romantic setting sipping a lovely glass on my own - perfectly describes long term married life!! The lovely wee guy at reception even came across the street to get my case out of the car and carry it up to the room - people are lovely x Hope everyone is keeping cosy and having a good night x ... View more

Thanks CK - you will be fabulous with your unicorn next year as you say - your heart is huge and caring - I think we are all each others' Valentine this year for all the love, support and sharing this forum gives. Hope Merlot is ok too and making sure you dont do too much Take good care everyone x ... View more