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I dont believe it.
Member
since
08-11-2017
32
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15
Hugs
02-01-2023
03:13
2 Hugs
What an extremely heartfelt post. I have not posted on here for the last five years. I was on Tamoxifen for those five years after my diagnosis and surgery. I too went through huge emotional turmoil and it was my husbands constant love and support that got me through it. We too have gone through some awful times out with MY cancer. Lost both of my son in laws parents to it in one year and my beautiful nephew age 39 to consequences of Covid when he could not get a Gp appointment. Your wife sounds as though she is suffering as we all do with an enormous depression and disbelief that she had this as well as the family heartaches and other health issues. I am sure there must be support for her if this is the case, even just coming on here for a good rant and cry. I am positive she appreciates every little thing you have done and still do for her but she just cannot ‘see it’ as she is blinkered with sadness. As she is so sad. I know all the world uncertainty over the last few years will have has added to her anxiety. Probably the last thing she wants but there could be a support group nearby where she could take things out on rather than your home and marriage suffering from it. The Tamoxifen works in mysterious ways with many different ladies but it is prescribed for a good reason as you know. Only my personal thought but it’s easy to blame the medication but that hides what the issue actually is. Both of you need cuddles from each other. Don’t give up. Don’t let the cancer that’s now gone win. I let him read your post so my husband sends you his ‘Big Boy Pants’ . He says your wife is still there she just needs found again and you need to get some normality back to your life. It takes a lot and will be appreciated by many men and women that you have been able to start this thread. It’s good to see a partners feelings. I hope it all works out for the family. .
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10-12-2018
01:14
2 Hugs
Hi. I am moving forward too. This is the first week I have not felt a threat of cancer returning. I had my first mammogram one year on from my surgery and treatment and getting good news that all is clear has left me feeling very positive about the future. I have had a good year and am very grateful that I have a good happy life. I have been on Tamoxifen for a year now and had some SE that came and then went, nothing that I could not live with. I have had two appointments with my oncologist when she examined me and all was clear but it has taken the mammogram to convince me that there is nothing lurking there. I got to see my consultant at the mammogram so he has told me just to go home and get on with life and he will see me next year. We had a joke and he said being from Central Scotland I am probably more at risk from stroke or heart attack. No comfort from those horrible options but reassuring regarding cancer. Just be aware was his advice. The breast that had the surgery/treatment has had some niggles, some aches and pains and most mornings has many indents on it from the creases on the quilt. My BC. Nurse tells me all of these are common. The nipple and the area around it has a mind of its own. Changes shape and colour sometimes but again just normal effect from radiotherapy. I am just getting used to it being this way and is a small price to pay considering what was there. For all of you who are just setting of on this horrible journey I wish you all well. It's never a good time but I found it especially hard at Christmas time. The hardest part for me was the mental and emotional part of it all and the waiting was a nightmare. Because of my personal circumstances only my husband knew about it initally and then I eventually told my daughter and then my sister. As some time had passed and I was already through surgery I decided not to spoil other family and friends Christmas so I told know one else. I have never told anyone since and this has helped me as everyone is still normal with me. I am sure everyone will have their own way with dealing with it but I have found it good not to have to deal with it daily or in every conversation with friends or family. I find I am reminded enough with the coverage on television or mail through the door. It will be very helpful though for people who need a good support network to talk about it and try and get some true friends and family to be there for you. I drop in to the Forum every few weeks or so when I have time and it's heart breaking to see and read of all the journeys that people are going through. I know in the beginning I was just at such a loss as to what was happening to me and imagining what scenarios I could possibly face. I just appreciate now that treatment has advanced so much and the outcomes are more favourable. I have decided now to live life to the full. I will take my consultants advice and be breast aware but I won't let it rule my every thought. It has taken a year to find this emotional strength again and I am so positive about the future. I hope with time everyone will find some peace with their situation and be able to enjoy life once more. Xxxxxxx
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08-02-2018
09:15
Oh BizzyLizzie you poor thing. I pray all will go well for you today. It will be over before you know it. The stress of our actual situation is more than enough to contend with but when surgery is included it puts worries through the roof. I cannot say to you don't worry, don't stress, be positive and all the things others say to us as its not until you arrive at the hospital it's how you feel and not others. Its all over quite quickly so when you wake up just tell yourself "thank goodness". Try and not think about how it 'might' be in the days ahead,take it all as it comes. Your team will take care of everything you may need and remember it's an everyday thing for them so will be the best. Afterwards lots and lots of rest whilst still taking a wander round the house. Homemade healthy food, fluids and if you feel like crying well Just let it happen. Do the gentle exercises they give you and be very selfish and let others help when they can. i wish you were not here on this forum as none of us want to be here but what a wonderful understanding support for us all. take care xxx
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01-02-2018
11:09
Hi reboot. I moved on to M & S pure cotton vest with a cotton insert bra . I eventually wore it inside out so the elastic did not rub the area underneath the breast. It looked fine inside out and you could not tell apart from the labels along the bottom side which I cut off. Not tight at the underarm and also good in the evening just to wear as a T shirt and drop the top part down to let the breast breathe if you can.If you can try one on first as I went up 2 Sizes knowing I wanted it with good room in the days ahead. It was lady bowler who suggested this one and she was so right. The other good thing about it is it has adjustable straps so if the area around the SNB is exactly at the same area you can lengthen or tighten or loosen the straps to move out of position on one side. Good luck with it all, you are heading in the right direction. Cream, cream and more cream, lots to drink as well. I kept a little tub of cream with me all the time and one by the bed to top up around the nipple area as that's where the rubbing may get a bit much.
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30-01-2018
12:21
Eleven days post radiotherapy now and all is well. I have a pink boob and a rash underneath. I also have an area on the top which has a rash too. Went for a flu jab on Saturday as my Doc says I am now entitled to it because of the diagnosis! When there spoke and showed all to the nurse who incidentally used to work in a breast cancer unit at the hospital. As the rash area is quite itchy she suggested an anti histamine so she looked up and said I could get Lorotadine. This does not contradict the Tamoxifen. Taken it for 4 days now and no more itching and the rash has really settled down. It was never sore. It looked like a rash caused by too much cream. Still creaming up every night and morning with Zerobase cream from the Rads team so no breakdown of skin so am pleased at that. Still applying very thinly the 1percent Betnovate hydrocortisone cream again from the Rads team but on the nurses suggestion only on the areas with the rash. I don't know whether it's this cream or the anti histamine that has settled all down. Because of the rash underneath I started to wear the M & S cotton bra vest inside out so no elastic was rubbing. Does not look any different when on but certainly a lot softer on the skin. Fingers crossed I have really peaked after Rads finishing. It certainly feels like that. Only had one hot flush so far but that was more to do with wearing padded coat, fleece, scarf, and gloves in the car and hubby was taking care of me as it was so cold outside and had bumped the heating up to 25 and had put the seat heater on 🌞 Aww bless. Xx I wish everyone still going through and still to start all the very best. Please look after yourself, drink lots, and learn to love your cream as it definitely helps.
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28-01-2018
12:39
Its the 'waiting' thats the worst part of all of this. MRI scans, CT scans, Biopsies and all the new words we probably never used before. Fear, oh my goodness knowone understands that part until they have been there themselves so you are feeling exactly the same. I bet you cant sleep and your head shakes all the time not really beliveing what is going on. I noticed that everything seemed to be on a two week cycle, as did others on different posts so it looks as though yours is much the same. Words like fast growing and invasive sends us in to a spin with absolute dread of if it does not happen tomorrow then what will happen. I am sure if you needed chemo started by now it would have been. Referral to oncologist, there it is again....two weeks. That is probaly when you will get the plan that you will need and then of course that plan will start two weeks later. Trying to plan for yourself, good idea but dont do too much. Just plan for each stage as it comes. Its look after yourself just now as its your well being that is so important so that you will be healthy enough otherwise when it comes to start any treatment or operations. I do hope you have some really sassy wigs for when you may need them. Post a bit on the new chemotherapy February posts as most will still not be started theirs either and will be able to share all the waiting they will have done too. Massive hugs to you xx
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21-01-2018
11:00
1 Hug
Hello Macneech What a topsy turvy way and so frustrating for you. An awful start to the New Year. I can only say to you it never goes the way we expect it should but that's because they want to get it all correct. it's really take one stage at a time and don't look too far ahead as your timeframes will be different to what will actually happen. It's one of the most stressful, sleepless times ever when you are not in control and everyone on here will tell you the same. Very soon you will get someone on here who is a bit ahead of you in a similar situation and will be able to give some support. Now that you have your diagnosis and after this weeks other things to be done (that we all go through ) it won't be too long until you get a proper plan that you can work towards, that's when you start to get your brain around what is happening and it settles you a bit. Look after yourself and keep in touch with the forum as this is where you will find the ladies who are able to totally understand how you are feeling. Lots of love
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20-01-2018
11:53
Thank you all. Lady bowler you have given such inspiration and to know you are a year down the line all better but with a new outlook hopefully sums up how I will feel too. Relatively it's not been too hard physicallly for me but I know a nightmare for others. Emotionally though certainly very difficult and they do not prepare you for that. Nuthatch glad we are at the end of the journey too, Keeping happy and positive so we do not get depressed thinking about it all. I have read that not having the daily 'journey' with support can make you feel vulnerable so I am going to keep up with the Forum for a while. No Snowplough in yet so perhaps a good thing as it means still plenty rest except for building some snowmen for a laugh ⛄ ️☃☃☃☃☃☃☃☃☃ Good luck everyone, you are all in my heart and thoughts. Xxxxx
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19-01-2018
02:18
Last session yesterday and al is well. A little pink in an exact square so makes it on ions it's not just warmth from all the fleeces on. Came home this morning after 5 days nearer the hospital. Greeted with at least a foot of sno and no plough or grittier in yet. Had to abandon car on main road and walk the last few hundred metres. That certainly cools you don 5 weeks now of Tamoxifen and no SEbut still early days. Good luck everyone. It feels great when the journey and control is back in your hands. Home with lots of instructions and a lovely bottle of bubbly and chocolates. ALL FOR ME!
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15-01-2018
08:47
Hello Peanut. My sentiments exactly. Bahamas indeed, especially with this weather forecast. So glad in one way for you that you can 'stay' but it's always nicer to be at home too. I was given cream on day one at the hospital. It's called Zerobase so they may give you something. It's very similar to E45 that everyone else is using. I would say definitely moisturise in some way and don't put anything on to your skin at least 2 Hours before treatment. Things get a little warm after a few treatments so that's when you may use Aloe Vera. I have not used it yet by day 11over. I have been exposing all for a few hours after treatment so has cooled things down very effectively. I too am heading nearer hospital for my last few treatments. Going to my daughters mind you so will have 3 year old grand daughter to distract me so that's a real bonus. Woo Hoo. Gran is coming for a sleepover so she is excited too. Daughters birthday on Wednesday so don't want to miss that either. I have had a long journey too each way, lots of country driving and the last half hour city so glad that will be over but it has not been that bad. Have some good music a drink and some goodies made it easier. Good luck with your treatment, drink loads, eat well and moisturise as much as you can and all will be well. We are nearly there! X
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15-01-2018
12:47
Time passes quickly and I am getting number 12 of 15 tomorrow. Feeling absolutely fine. No obvious signs on the skin Apart from a few spots from all the moisturising. The nipple is red but has not changed in the last week. Nothing sore though. I am now carrying around a little tub of my cream in my handbag and topping up around the nipple every few hours. I have now also swapped bra's to the cotton vest top ones from M and S that Helena mentioned before. Went for two sizes larger as I was able to try them on in the shop. I wanted to make sure there was no tight ness around the under breast part of it as that is elastic. They are so comfortable, thank you Helena. Nuthatch I think you are a day ahead of me so I hope these last few days go quickly too. You have certainly had a harder journey than me and I think all of the ladies in a similar situation have been so brave. I am packing a bag and heading to my daughters tomorrow as the forecast for my area is very heavy snow for Tuesday/Wednesday so I want to make sure I am near the hospital so I don't miss any appointments. They usually clear the main roads quite quickly but the road in to where my house is not a priority and usually takes a few days before ploughed and gritted. Hubby is bringing work home with him tomorrow night so he can work from home for a few days. The clearing of the driveway is not as easy now as it used to be when we first moved in to the house. Ha Ha I will say no more than that!!! Good luck to all continuing and all the very best for those just starting.
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10-01-2018
12:38
Hi Nuthatch. I hope all went well on Monday with your other treatment. That is me now had 8 zaps so counting down now. Noticing a pattern emerging of radiotherapy area becomes very warm on the long journey home so I am being a complete hussy and exposing my top half completely when I get in and re applying cream which of course just melts in. I have the aloe Vera in the fridge for if it may become too Hot! I do cover up again mind just with a loose cotton night shirt when Cooled down. Fortunately being dark nights the blinds are all closed in the house and hubby is not home till 7pm so probably getting over two hours to cool down. Could never imagined myself doing anything like this before BC! Second thing I am now noticing too is the actual breast that had the surgery becomes firmer and quite lumpy around the scar by the time I am going to bed. In the morning though it all seems back to normal. I asked about this today and was told ' that's normal!' It's the scar tissue inside reacting to the radiotherapy So no worries and it's not painful it's just a sensation which of course makes me want to touch it. I have to say the treatment is going well and I feel well. Skin is showing no signs so far of changes just the nipple is a bit pinker but again told was normal. This is all going better than I ever imagined it would have so will continue with my care instructions from the nurses and fingers crossed it won't get too bad over the next few weeks. Hopefully all is going well for those just starting. Xxx
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09-01-2018
06:16
Gosh did not know it was legal. Asking and getting permission are two different things. I believe your medical history is private to you and should remain that way. If they get your records it will show everything in the life's history. Only allow access to what is pertinent to the just now and only if they are paying you whilst you are off. So the start date and nothing before. It's none of your personnel departments business and you certainly should not be having to deal with nonsense like this during this distressing time. Make sure your doctor is very aware of any decisions you come to and that it is recorded clearly in your records.
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09-01-2018
01:22
Just taken delivery today of a new Bra for me from Asda. It's pretty, it's lacy, has a little bow and diamanté in the middle, it's a lovely darker pink colour and what's more it's has lovely matching panties. Wow a lingerie SET at last. It has cotton liner and pockets for those who need them. It has WOW four hook spacing on the back for those days when things go up and down so whoever designed this knew all about it. The best part about this as well it is from their Tickled Pink range so they donate to Breast cancer now. The bra was £8 and the panties £3 so definitely a decent price. As you are all online have a look it is in the post surgery bras and they go up to a decent size. Only online I believe. I also ordered another one, very lacy and skin tone it too is perfect. No matching panties though, shame.
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06-01-2018
01:27
Hi Alibobs. I was apprehensive too about the ct scan. No need to at all. The operator told me when it starts up it sounds like a jet engine so I should just try and pretend I was on a plane going on holiday. It's a big white donut that you can look at as they slide you through and back. It does not feel enclosed at all. The staff will be wonderful and will put you at ease. Ask them what will happen so you will know. Good luck
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05-01-2018
09:20
Hi Nuthatch. Number 6 today and all is well. Slightest hint of a nipple change but the girls say all is normal. Not sore or anything just a bit pink . Have to increase cream to three times a day on it. My timings have all been at 3.10 and have been taken in on time. Next week mind you could be different as it is the start for a few 5 day weeks for some new ladies. I don't know about you but the last two weeks almost seem so mutch in the past already. I have made some plans for next week to make sure the long journey is not just about the treatment. Lunch before on Monday with an old friend. She knows nothing so all talk will be a lovely distraction. Usually when we meet up its tears of laughter at times so will make a change. hope all is well with everyone in the process or just about to start. Love and big hugs. X
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29-12-2017
08:22
Hi it was day number three for me as well and all going to plan so very happy indeed. I have four days off and not back until Wednesday and then it will be three sessions that week. Five the following week and then four in the last week. Today was so fast I was actually back out before my husband had got his carry out coffee to take back to the car to wait on me! I am planning to try and forget over the weekend and New year as I don't want the families 'Holidays' off work spoiled. Glad all has gone well for you too.
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27-12-2017
06:29
Hi Nuthatch. first one went well. Journey there took longer than expected as got caught up with people going to the sales. Been told I can go earlier tomorrow and Friday if I wish so will go in an hour before. The drive up was lovely, lots of snow in the fields and dripping off the trees so a wonderful sight to take my mind off things. Home with Zerobase cream as the continious moisturiser and Betnovate to use once a day in the evenings. Great to have a parking place allocated in the car park about 50 Yards from the door. I really appreciate that.
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27-12-2017
11:12
1 Hug
Going this afternoon for number one of 15. Had a lovely Christmas and managed to forget things for a while. Small back pack fully loaded with cream and water and a few things in case of delay. Husband is driving me for these 3 days so all pressure off for the journey. No works traffic to cope with but about five inches of snow from yesterday to be cleared from a long driveway to get the car out. The sun is out so i am just watching hubby doing it. He is enjoying the fresh air and some sunshine. Will come straight home after this one as its the emotional thought rather than the physical idea of it all. Thank you to all the ladies for posting their experiences over the month, I have learned a great deal in how to plan and cope with it all and hopefully it will make things a bit easier. Good luck to all starting and finishing this month.
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13-12-2017
12:56
Had my pre radiotherapy CT scan today with treatment starting 27th December and finishing 18th January. 15 sessions in total but holidays are spreading it out longer. Got my little tattoos and did not even feel the little scratch that they mentioned so hardly anything considering the surgery already done.I was expecting black marker on my skin but they used a reddish pink colour. Does this go black does anyone know or is it just this hospital uses a red colour instead? Must admit once the crosses have been cleaned off only I will know where the tiny dots are as there are already other marks on the skin. Hoorah for freckles! The team today were lovely, they were doing some training and did say to me first. It was good to hear the information being done and then checked. The trainee said the machine reminded her of an aeroplane starting up so when I was looking up at the beautiful sky on the screen above my head I just wandered off in holiday mode to stop me thinking about why I was there. Keep posting everyone as its so helpful to see the information from those who have gone before.
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