Breast Cancer Now Forum

Bless you, hope all goes very well for you. One of my BC nurses is retiring Friday and we having a get together, will mention the lump to her, like you say whatever it is, I will sleep better in the end. Sending hugs.  ... View more

Sending you hugs louiseh. Xx ... View more

Thank you old spice60. I know I will get there and the uncertainty and fear will lesson. I don't want to be worried about aches and pains. I had a recent scan as had a lump on chest but it was a harmless cyst. Now I have a lump on my neck, am scared to go to get it checked, not for fear of what it could be but for fear they will think i’m being a neurotic pain in the ass!  You take care, sending hugs. X ... View more

Thanks Lucy, just have to wait, it’s like that’s all we are doing now, I just keep telling myself its out of me, its out of me, but it still doesn't detract from how I feel when look in mirror, I know where you are coming from and you are certainly not alone in this. It’s funny though because sometimes I feel alone yet I know I am not. Wish I could wave that wand, but reading replies on here is good for me and I hope for you too, some good thoughts and ideas. Sending you gentle hugs. X Lisa ... View more

Hey there, just noticed everyone who as replied as got a snazzy name n I just used my normal one! Gonna av to change that 🤣 . Your right of course - which camp do I and others want to be in, like what the nurse said. Going to make me think. Have read that piece, got it in a Moving Forward pack, it was quite powerful. Still, i’m worried but am hoping to manage it better. Work, grandchildren and my holidays should help! Take care of you and sending you hugs. X ... View more

Here’s some love coming your way!! 💕 ... View more

Hi Seabreeze, thanks for that. Am sure it is only a matter of time. Its great you are five years on and okay. Just not seeing an end to it at the moment with my recon being put back but i respect those who have it in them are priority of course so I just have to wait my turn. I hate my body, it just reminds me everyday. That said my family say the scars show how brave I have been and they are a part of me. I hope you stay well. Sending hugs. X ... View more

Bless you Maggi, its so early for you. What you are feeling is normal. I saw a counsellor a couple of times, for me it didn't do anything but I know other people have said it worked for them. If you feel up to it give them a try. I wish I could just give you a physical hug. I could cry for you and others facing all this. But, I never cried myself. Just scared. It must be a normal reaction if lots of us feel like this. You are not alone. I am thinking of you and sending you hugs. If you ever need to chat... xx ... View more

Hi Bolly, am sending you some hugs, you are right the fear is worse, I went through the chemo, radio, operations etc in the system and everything was go, go,go, guess now I am able to think and reflect, especially after oncologist said couldn't give me all clear, is when the fear is at its worse. Am sorry you are still very tired, or rather fatigued, that can take a long while, I get frustrated because I cannot do what I could before. Wish I could wave a magic wand for you and everyone else going through this but I cant, like you say we need to do a bit at a time. Wishing you all the best and sending hugs. Xx ... View more

Hi Delly, thank you for your message. I am usually a positive person and was positive throughout. It was just hearing those words, I cant give you the all clear... I have even been out and got a pack from local funeral home to complete in case it comes back so all in order - how daft is that, not like me at all! I don't tell anyone all this, maybe that is a problem in itself, but I do write, have now got up to 87,000 plus words about my experience, so guess it helps a little bit. I did see a counsellor twice but sorry to say it wasn't for me at all, but will think about what you said re someone like me.    You never mentioned your experience, so whatever that may be I sincerely hope you are well and sending you hugs. Xx ... View more

Hi there, hope your consultation goes well and you in yourself are managing. Thanks for your reply. Nice to know others have had two different type of recons and are happy with result. Have a meeting with my BC nurse next week amd going to speak with her about my concerns and seek more advice. Hoping all goes very well for you and sending hugs. X ... View more

Hi Rosie, I wouldnt mind joining you in France to have a ramble! Everything going okay here apart from the fact we are not experiencing 24 degrees! 🌞 more like 🌧 . Hugs. Lisa x ... View more

Jude, you poor thing. I do hooe you get better quickly and get a decent nights sleep. Am sure they will let you out as soon as you are ready but let them look after you. Sending hugs. X ... View more

Hi ladies, sorry not posted for a while, been trying to get through these inflations I am having. Despite all going through Ive had to laugh, whilst lying on the coach being inflated Dave could see my boobs rising, the surgeon says I be going up a cup size each week! Jude am sorry you have some pains and you feel like an old lady, I so hope this lessons and you can cope with it better. I hope the pain killers work for you. My hair started to grow back straight after my last chemo which was July and I have what looks like an army buzz cut, it looks quite sexy so my neighbour says! Last to start coming back has been my eye lashes. Not quite there with them yet. As for my writing. Its just my ramblings, to make me feel better, I might eventually have them published for friends and family, like others its been a way to get my feelings out. Will probably have my radiotherapy in November as cant have that until all the inflation has been done. Not sure when I start my Herceptin drug for the year.    I do apologise as want to reply to everyone on here but my brain wont hold a lot of information(!) and I dont know how to,scroll down to posts to reread them so I know what I am answering if you get what I mean, no, neither do I!!! I do really haha. Just want to wish everyone well and what ever you are going through my thoughts, best wishes are for you and I hope you can catch these warm hugs I am sending out. ❤️ ❤️ .   Not sure where any of you are from but I am from scarborough, North Yorkshire, when I was in the Magnolia Centre in York for treatment I saw a notice for a local light rambling group, am wondering if anyone near where I live would like to do something like that. It would be nice to get together and have some gentle walks whilst building up our strength. Am thinking of putting a notice up in the local hospitals Cancer Care Centre what do you think?    Love to all. Lisa x ... View more

Hi Jude, fatique, yep that is my worse nightmare, like you when I go out I like to make the most, I dont wear my wig or a scarf anymore, my hair as started to come back, very very short, like an army buzz cut but am so fortunate it actually suits me, I may go as far as saying a neighbour says it looks sexy, but like you, if he saw me in the house, no lippy on and in my pjamas as so tired cant get out of them he may feel differently. Haha. Im very tired and when someone says I look great Im so pleased but think if you only knew how I felt, because I dont tell them, not even family. I dont say well I feel like,S*#’, I’m scared, I’m exhausted, I find it hard to look at my chest and scars, am desparate to have a good cry and get these tears out but they never come. Oh well, will have to keep going round as a fraud! What has helped though is throughout all this since being diagnosed 1st March, the chemo, surgery, and what is to come my radio, herceptin amd tablets etc I have been writing. Ive found it has helped as all my real feelings are down on paper. All kind of fruits I’ve called it seeing as my boobs changed shape so much during treatment and when had padding on them looked like melons haha. Jude you havent ONLY had a wle (I will confess don't know what that means) no matter what treatment any of us has had we have all got the same hopes, fears etc am sure. Hoping to go back to work in couple weeks, am so fortunate to have great employers who will let me take it easy and the hours I can manage. On with the lippy, no mascara yet as eyelashes not grown back but strangly my eyebrows have! Lovely to chat with you albeit on the forum. Take care. X. Oh yeh someone said to me when I told them what lies ahead, oh tablets for ten years, thats alright you can manage them. I could have throttled them!!  ... View more

Thanks Whitelilly for replying. Am glad you found what was right for you. Yes the good think is I have time to,think about this but I guess you and others are right, at the moment I should concentrate on getting better. I will also ask the breast care nurse if there is anywhere local I could go to to talk to people who have had reconstruction or decided not to. Sending best wishes. X ... View more

Just come across this thread, using this site as need advice regarding reconstruction. I know how you all felt about feeling like a fraud. Apart from an itchy boob there I was healthy and happily working with no aches and pains or cares in the world. Now I am bald and boobless!! Six months of chemo, double mastectomy, 10/10 cancerous lymph nodes removed, internal bleeding emergency surgery and blood transfusion etc etc... but I look so well! Everyone who sees me tells me so, its like I cant be poorly. It has wiped me out and I do feel guilty about work, only doing a few hours three days a week (at the moment not working as recovering from mastectomy). Got radiotherapy to come, a years supply of Herceptin in local chemo unit and then ten years of tablets.... along with a reconstruction if I choose to go ahead. Like a lot of ladies, Ive not been able to cry just got on with battling it, besides my husband has cried buckets for me! Ive had to laugh though, before the hospital got hold of me I was a healthy thing now am so different. We just dont know whats around the corner do we. Live each day to the fullest thats what I say. Hugs to all you out there. X ... View more

Thanks for replying to my post. I have joined Flat Friends on Facebook and it is encouraging to see so many brave woman living flat. My head is still in a whirl but I have time to think about it, construction would be next year if I go ahead. Had my first inflation which thankfully was painless but am still not sure. Sending hugs. X ... View more