Hi Jude, fatique, yep that is my worse nightmare, like you when I go out I like to make the most, I dont wear my wig or a scarf anymore, my hair as started to come back, very very short, like an army buzz cut but am so fortunate it actually suits me, I may go as far as saying a neighbour says it looks sexy, but like you, if he saw me in the house, no lippy on and in my pjamas as so tired cant get out of them he may feel differently. Haha. Im very tired and when someone says I look great Im so pleased but think if you only knew how I felt, because I dont tell them, not even family. I dont say well I feel like,S*#’, I’m scared, I’m exhausted, I find it hard to look at my chest and scars, am desparate to have a good cry and get these tears out but they never come. Oh well, will have to keep going round as a fraud! What has helped though is throughout all this since being diagnosed 1st March, the chemo, surgery, and what is to come my radio, herceptin amd tablets etc I have been writing. Ive found it has helped as all my real feelings are down on paper. All kind of fruits I’ve called it seeing as my boobs changed shape so much during treatment and when had padding on them looked like melons haha. Jude you havent ONLY had a wle (I will confess don't know what that means) no matter what treatment any of us has had we have all got the same hopes, fears etc am sure. Hoping to go back to work in couple weeks, am so fortunate to have great employers who will let me take it easy and the hours I can manage. On with the lippy, no mascara yet as eyelashes not grown back but strangly my eyebrows have! Lovely to chat with you albeit on the forum. Take care. X. Oh yeh someone said to me when I told them what lies ahead, oh tablets for ten years, thats alright you can manage them. I could have throttled them!!
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