Hi, i to have had anxiety since finishing treatment in March 2018, i had a lumpectomy then cancer found in 2 out of 3 lymph nodes taken so had them all removed followed by chemo and radiotherapy. My mum died 4 yrs ago from secondary breast cancer. As 2018 has gone on I have become full of anxiety, worry at every pain i have, cannot sleep as i spend most of the night going through scenarios of what if's. I felt i was making myself mentally ill. In the middle of December a lady from the support group i attend said why didn't i contact Macmillan and have some counselling. Today i went for an assessment and I just talked and talked about myself and the way mum died (was not happy with hospital and care/treatment) She said something interesting she said i was a planner and i had to agree if we go away sightseeing every day is planned, tours booked, daily itinerary compiled etc etc. I am known as the itinerary lady amongst friends and family and quite often my itineraries are borrowed, it has become a real joke. Also in life general i am always thinking ahead whether at work or in my personal life. If you look at my phone calendar you would think i never had a minute to spare to get anxious. She said the cancer came and was out of my control and no planning could predict it and now i have got myself in a state where i cannot predict my future but am predicting my demise even tho there is no way i can do that. Mum had 10 years between primary and secondary so i now think i have the same time left, again how do i know!!! I have only had one session but 2 things she suggested until we meet again 1 - My mums death traumatised me she said go and get loads of photos with mum in when we had happy times and concentrate on them rather than her death and talk about those times 2 - Set aside a time during the day when i write down any thoughts and worries i have had that day when i had thoughts of cancer or it returning. When you go to bed if a thought comes in my mind i say "Thank you for that thought, tomorrow i will write it down" It may or may not help but its a start, i am hoping for more coping strategies. I have to say i felt so much better talking to her today.I hope this helps
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