Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi Poppy, I actually got my referral for counselling today (through Macmillan/Bupa, in case anyone is interested/needs something similar) and should start my sessions sometime next week. I'm really pleased that I finally took that step and am getting help so quickly. I tried mindfulness while I was in treatment and didn't really take to it, but if the counsellor suggests it and guides me through it, I'm happy to give it another go. But you're right - it's important to make time for the things that matter and bring us joy. So today, I spent 30 minutes playing the piano, something I haven't done in months. I was a bit out of practice of course, a bit slow, but I enjoyed that time, just me and my piano. Must do this more often. I've still got that pain lurking in my left breast and may end up going in to King's for a check up after all. I've been hoping to avoid that. I'll give it a few more days. If it was some sort of infection brought on by my cold, then it may just need time to go completely. Have any of you ever experienced anything like this? But, the main thing is I'm in a better place now mentally, thanks in no small part to all your kind comments. Thanks again. Gx ... View more

Thank you, all of of you, for all your incredibly supportive messages. They really mean a lot to me. So, I contacted my BCN and it seems that the awful cold I had (the one that's not Covid and that everyone seems to have 🙄 ) triggered some sort of reaction in my left breast, ie. pain and briefly a red rash! The rash disappeared as quickly as it came, the pain is taking a little longer. However, I decided that it's finally time to get some help/counselling - I really like the image of a box for all those unpleasant thoughts (thanks Jill 😍 ) - I need to find better ways of dealing with the anxiety and keeping a lid on that box. My hospital no longer does 1-1 counselling, but Macmillan have referred me to their scheme with Bupa (up to 6 sessions 1-1) and it's great to know I'm going to get help. Sandpiper: yes, nights aren't great, particularly when menopausal symptoms kick in as well, bl...y night sweats! 😫 Delly: thanks for your reminder about that article. I read it a couple of years ago, but it's time to reread it I think. And you're right, I need to reframe how I think about the future! Jill: hope your mammogram has come back all clear! Thanks again for your kindness and support.  Gxx   ... View more

So glad you're feeling a bit more positive! You and your wife will have good and bad days, but I found that things are more manageable if you take one day at a time, try to enjoy the small things and even, if you can, have a laugh about some of the frankly ridiculous things she'll be asked to do. Also, if you feel comfortable with this, talk to other patients and families on the chemo ward - I'm still friends with two ladies I met there and we still support each other. ... View more

Actually, my diagnosis was in Aug 2018! How could I muddle that up!? 😂 ... View more

Hi James,  I was diagnosed with TNBC at a very similar stage to your wife in August 2019. Following chemo I was told there had been a 'complete response', ie. the cancer was gone. I had a lumpectomy and Sentinel Node Biopsy to clear the remaining dead cancer cells and finally lots of radiotherapy. None of this was easy, but it worked and I'm still here! The cancer diagnosis was awful, but it also made me rethink my life and career and I can honestly say that I am probably happier now than I was pre-cancer, how ever odd that might sound. I'm telling you all this in the hope that it might give you and your wife some hope. TNBC is very treatable these days. But you MUST stay off Google - so much of the information there is based on false or outdated research and is totally unhelpful. If you have questions, bombard your wife's doctors. They are the experts and are there to help you get through this. I also found the monthly chemo threads on this forum really useful while I was in treatment. It's a scary and difficult time, but women here give each other the most amazing support. It's not going to be an easy time for either of you, but you will get through this, absolutely!! ... View more

I had a lumpectomy, plus chemo and radiotherapy, almost two years ago. I still have various aches and pains in my left breast most days and what's more, they vary in intensity. On a couple of occasions I've freaked out completely and convinced myself that the cancer has come back. Luckily I have a great breast care team and each time I've contacted them in a panic, they've told me to come in, even during lockdown, and have checked things. Every time, all has been fine. I'm not sure that the pain and twinges will ever go completely, nor will I ever be able to ignore them, but I am getting better at recognizing them for what they are, reminders of the various pretty invasive treatments. I guess what I'm saying is, the pain is normal, as is your anxiety. What changes over time, is how you might be able to respond and cope. If you're worried, definitely contact your team. They're there to help you through this. Incidentally, there are a number of other, older threads on the forum, that have numerous posts about this - I found it really helpful to read them, as this made me realise how common this all is. Hope this helps a bit.  Gx ... View more

Hi Helen, I'm 2 years on from chemo and surgery, and 1.5 from radiotherapy. When I finished my treatment, my BCN told me that I would probably experience discomfort and possibly pain for quite some time to come, but that I shouldn't hesitate to get in touch if I was at all worried. And that's exactly what's happened. I've had several instances, where the usual discomfort increased to pain and panic, I've phoned my BCN, and each time (even in lockdown), they've told me to come in. I've seen my surgeon, he's reassured me, and bingo - the pain has subsided. It seems we've all got to learn to live with these ups and downs, but the important things to remember are 1) you're not on your own! There are lots of women on this forum who have posted with similar experiences and I've always found it really helpful to read about these. Just knowing that others have been there, knowing that I'm not overreacting or imagining things - it really helps. 2) if your breast care team aren't very supportive, insist on getting help from them - that's their job!! You could also give the lovely nurses on the forum a ring - they are very supportive and can give some general advice, which may in turn help you to get better support from your BCN. Sorry, bit of a long post! Hope there's something in all this that helps a little.  Take care ❤ ... View more

I'm almost 2 years on from the same surgery/treatment and also still have quite a bit of lumpy tissue around the scar. My surgeon has repeatedly reassured me that it's scar tissue and any pain I periodically get in that area is down to the longterm effects of radiotherapy. It's improved over time, though the occasional twinge can still make me panic. Whenever this happens, I get in touch with my BCN or surgeon and they really don't seem to mind at all. So I would strongly recommend you do the same: no need to worry about it on your own, your breast care team are there for you! I was told that this would happen repeatedly over time and not to hesitate in contacting them. Weirdly, whenever I've seen my surgeon and he's reassured me, the pain miraculously disappears within a day or so. All in the mind? Gxx ... View more

Hi Susie, Like you I struggled for months to find a decent bra post lumpectomy and SNB. I don't know where you're based, but Guy's Hospital in London has a specialist bra shop on site. They're incredibly helpful and their bras are reasonably priced. Perhaps your local hospital or cancer clinic can advise you where to find a similar service? In the end I got so frustrated that I actually treated myself to a very expensive bra from Rigby and Peller - the lady doing the fitting was brilliant and I've now got the most comfortable bra ever (I decided to ignore this particular item on my credit card bill 🤣 ). But back to Guy's. It might be worth checking if they offer any phone or online service. The lady in charge came to my Moving Forward course last year and was incredibly knowledgeable. She seemed to have a solution for any size/shape, and was lovely. Gx ... View more

Hi Kazie, For months after my treatment ended last year in June I had the same problem. Moving was fine, but getting up after sitting down was awful. Definitely felt 20 years older. My BCN recommended lots of exercise, both stretching and something to strengthen the bones and joints. So, I've been doing pilates twice a week and started running 3-4 times a week. I'm pretty rubbish at running, but this regime has definitely helped. My knee joints still feel stiff first thing in the morning, but otherwise I'm much better. The running initially felt a bit counterintuitive, but I took it really slowly and eventually things started to improve. Give yourself time though. You've only just finished your treatment. Find some exercise you enjoy - and check with your BCN beforehand, just to be on the safe side. And be kind to yourself. You've been through a lot. It's not surprising your body needs time to recover.  Gx ... View more

Saw my surgeon this morning and he is pretty sure that the pain I've got in my left breast is due to the longterm effects of radiotherapy. He seemed to know exactly where it is and wasn't at all concerned. What a relief! He did however suggest that I have a bone scan, just to make sure. Seems a slightly odd thing to suggest, but I have asked for that before without success, so I don't mind. Better safe than sorry. 😉 He also suggested that in a year's time he could do some reconstructive surgery to even out the various dents left by the lumpectomy and SNB, using fat to fill them in (I've got plenty to spare round my middle - maybe he can use that!? 😁 ). Has anyone else had this done? Gx ... View more

Hi Sue, Well done for making that phone call and getting that mammogram done (I hate mammograms 😫 ). I did the same today and have now got an appointment for Friday. I'm still feeling very apprehensive, but it's a good first step to getting myself sorted. What I really want, what we all want, is for someone to tell us that the cancer will never come back, just enjoy your life and forget about it. But that's never going to happen of course. I have to say that the nurse I spoke to was lovely and didn't hesitate to book me in, despite everything that's going on. So, in the absence of that cast-iron guarantee that never going to materialize, I guess I am grateful for the support my medical team have always given me.  I do wonder if you've got a point about bras. I finally got myself properly measured and fitted a few weeks ago and acquired some really comfy, pretty bras (and got rid of some truly atrocious post-op ones 😂 ). But weirdly the aches I've had have been more pronounced since then, as if my boobs are protesting at being better supported and would rather just have continued to hang! 😆   ... View more

Most of my breast care team are lovely. My surgeon memorably compared my lumpectomy to going fishing which neither I nor my husband found particularly funny or reassuring. The day he gave me the diagnosis, he didn't even say good morning, but just said 'you've got cancer' as soon as I entered the room. But I think he's very competent in actually doing the surgery, making a diagnosis and assessing treatment. And anyway, I'm hoping not to have to see much of him in the years to come. 😏 ... View more

You've clearly got a very kind surgeon, Snottydotty! My surgeon is medically very competent, but has very odd bedside manners. He's always seen me, when I've needed help, but he makes strange jokes and I have never really warmed to him. My BCN is, however, really lovely (though sadly totally over-stretched), so I try to speak to her in the first instance. In fact I will be phoning her on Monday about my various aches and pains; don't want to do it this half term week, as I want to spend the time with my son. I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I am in my recovery and one thing that's struck me (after reading an article on Becca), is that I have completely distanced myself from my own body. In order to get through the treatment and the embarrassment of having so many strangers prod and poke my boobs, I think I somehow just withdrew from my own body. And now, I don't trust or like my body very much! So, in addition to getting myself checked out by my BCN, I've decided that it's time I took control and start liking it again, in small stages (my legs and arms are lovely, not sure about some of the other bits 😁 ). Mostly, this will probably be a matter of changing the way I think about my body, but I'm slowly hoping to reconnect to the bits I feel detached from and sort out those I feel negative about. Don't know if this is making any sense or maybe I'm just waffling?! 😂 ... View more

Hi Jax, That is good news! 🤗 What a relief for you! Thanks for sharing your results with us. I hope the treatment you've had will make you a bit more comfortable. Gx ... View more

Thanks for your advice, Snottydotty. I've checked the scar tissue and it does come back up when I press it, so that's good. Still, it's all the other lumps and bumps, and the constantly shifting aches that are driving me crazy. I know you're right: I need to contact my BCN, if only to calm myself down. It's interesting you were offered an ultrasound. That's so much more preferable than a mammogram - I hate those, they're just so painful. I'll see if I can have that instead if it's needed. Gxx ... View more

Hi Jax, Like you I'm TN and like you I find it hard to push the constant worries about recurrence away. I really hope that the tests you had come up with nothing! Back in March I had quite severe breast pain and was lucky to be offered a mammogram by my surgeon just before lockdown. It turned out that the various lumps I could feel were just scar tissue, but that's the problem really - how do you tell the difference between that sort of pain/lump and something more serious? Right now I've got pain around my scars again and don't know whether to contact my BCN. My BCN did say I should contact her if I have any concerns, but I feel that I don't want to bother her with every new pain. Being TN and unable to take any longterm medication definitely has some advantages, but it sometimes also makes dealing with these worries hard, as I feel I've got nothing to help me fight recurrence. Being able to post here is helpful, but like so many others on this forum I wish there was more on offer in terms of longterm aftercare. The first few weeks following treatment were ok, as I was exploring various free things on offer such as acupuncture and yoga, plus I felt so relieved to have got through everything and having been given assurances about my good prognosis. But now, 16 months on, that support is no longer there, and that's when I could really do with it. Gx ... View more

Hi lovely ladies,  I finished treatment 15 months ago (chemo, lumpectomy & SNB, 20 rounds  of radiotherapy) and as I am Triple Negative, am not on any medication. It's been a huge comfort and relief to read all your posts. I too have various aches and pains in my left breast, which seems to change both in intensity and location all the time and right now are extending from my breast down my left arm and hand. It's the unpredictability of when, where and why that I find difficult to cope with. I seem to go for weeks with one sort of ache, then it changes and pops up somewhere else - which inevitably gets me worried. Once I've managed to calm down a bit, my problems rather weirdly often subside. Right now I'm trying to calm down after panicking about the latest pain (feels like muscle ache and slight stinging pain at the top of my breast, so not even near my scars) and reading about all your experiences really helps me with that. As always, I'm very grateful for this forum.  Gaby 🥰 ... View more

Hi everyone,    Just had my mammogram results through (super-quick!) and everything is fine!! All that panic and angst for nothing 🤨 😁 . Still, I'm so glad I panicked, otherwise I wouldn't have had the mammogram and would still be worrying like mad. For anyone out there who has had their check up cancelled, I'd say if you're worried about symptoms, tell your BCC team. They took my fears seriously and helped me, others will surely do the same.    Of course, I was told last year that I might experience pain, even years later. But it wasn't until it happened that I realized how terrifying this can be. I was due to see a psychiatrist about fear of recurrence, but that's of course been shelved for now. But hopefully I'll be able to have some sessions in the autumn. I definitely need to develop some better coping strategies.    Thanks to everyone who replied to my posts. The support here is invaluable.    Gxx ... View more