Hi NJS I certainly felt very very stressed out when I was told the 3rd op hadn't worked and they would try a 4th and it would be the last attempt. I went straight to my GP that day, burst into tears in his office (my husband had to come in to explain as I could hardly talk through all the sobbing !!) ... I couldn't recognise myself ... I kept thinking ..who is this anxious emotional wreck ? .. thought I was stonger. Anyway, my GP said counselling would be a long wait, so sent me off with Diazepam .. I only ended up taking 6 in total ...but boy, they helped me sleep that night (and the night before the 4th result) ! However, I don't need them any more or counselling, and I feel much more like myself (I've even started laughing again ..as my face also felt stuck in cry mode !) and although radiotherapy will be no walk in the park, it's a physical thing to endure and I can cope with that. I just want to get it all over and done with now. My planning appt is on the 19th and the daily routine starts on the 28th ..all finished by 27 March. I've also been given Tamoxofin, so far felt no different on them but I suppose it's early days ..though my BC nurse said some women have side effects after the first tablet ! Being at work will keep you busy and help distract your mind hopefully ..as I know you will be counting off the days. One part of you will want the 25th to come quickly, whilst another part will be dreading it ... yeah we can certainly kick-ass on this cancery cell sh*te ..how dare it interfere with our lives !! Take care ..positive thoughts your way ..as always xxx
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