Breast Cancer Now Forum

Gosh sounds full on !   I was so lucky I only had to have a mastectomy, sentinel node removal  and immediate reconstruction, now on Tamoxifen.   I had multi focal cancer ( invasive lobular, invasive tubular and dcis) but despite multiple tumours peppered through the breast it hadn’t spread to the lymph nodes so the mastectomy caught it all. Thank God for routine mammograms, without that I’m sure it would have been a very different story for me.   Hope the treatment is tolerable, and you get great results. Take care and stay strong - not easy I know   loads of love Melanie xx ... View more

Gemmy83,   Mine was a mastectomy and sentinel node removal.    My family, and a lot of my friends thought I was mad - I think they were so shocked by the diagnosis they wanted me in hospital the next day having it removed. I had been looking forward to the holiday for so long I just really wanted to go and felt I really needed it. They did offer me the chance to have the surgery before and go with my drains in place - I’m so glad I didn’t take that option.   your team are definitely the best ones to advise you, be guided by them and do what’s right for you    take care xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi mini mad,   drives me mad ! Far too much info but when I want to go I have to dash and once I can see the toilet I can hardly control it. Nearly wet myself at work the other day when I fumbled with the button on my trousers 😂😂😂    This wasn’t an issue before and I honestly don’t understand how breast surgery affects your pelvic floor so I guess it’s the Tamoxifen. I’m doing pelvic floor exercises but it’s making no difference. I’m sure work think I’m mad as I’m constantly nipping to the loo to make sure I don’t get to the point when I need it.   Breast Cancer really is the gift that keeps on giving ! At least I’ll be a contender for the 100m in the next olympics at this rate x   take care and stay strong xx Melanie ... View more

Hi Gemmy83   sorry you find yourself in this forum but you’ll get so much support, it’s definitely a club none of us want to be in but are all grateful we are.   I had the same dilemma, diagnosed 9 October but had a holiday to Disneyland Paris booked 29 November. I asked my consultants advice, told her I desperately wanted to go, she gave me her blessing. It did mean I breached the NHS guidelines for starting treatment but in my case she felt a holiday would do me good.    Ask your our consultant and be guided by what they say. For me it was fabulous to work right up to my holiday, have a week away when I didn’t think about cancer and then come back and deal with it.   stay strong and take comfort from all the love and virtual hugs coming your way from everyone else in this forum xx ... View more

Hi Lucy 51,   I take it this is with the occupational health dept where you work.   In my experience they will be looking to see when you might be able to go back to work, what adjustments you might need to help you go back and if they can support you in anyway.   I’ve been well supported by my OH throughout, there has been no pressure to go back but I understand my business can’t support me being off indefinitely. When I needed physio they offered to get me private physio ( I didn’t need to take them up on it ). I’m now going back but on reduced hours and lighter duties, they’ve advised me and my manager throughout what they thought would work best.   I’ve found them to be very supportive. I’m lucky I’m able to go back but if I hadn’t been able to they would also have assessed my fitness to work and would have been involved in decisions about ill health pensions.   Cancer is covered by the Equality act ( used to be the disability discrimination act ) so they will be aware they need to be supportive and more lenient over how much time you take out for sickness and appointments.   I wouldn’t worry, I’m sure it’s routine but remember if at any stage you feel uncomfortable you can leave and rearrange when you can have your union or a representative with you.   Stay strong, keep your chin up and don’t worry xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Shaz 1969,   I’m currently off work following a mastectomy and implant reconstruction, I’m on Tamoxifen ( after being on Tamoxifen then Letrozole then back to Tamoxifen ). I’m going back to work 1 July on a phased return.   My phased return is over 4 weeks but can be longer if needed. The first week I’m doing 20 hours over 4 days working in the mornings. I’m doing Monday and Tuesday, taking Wednesday off then doing Thursday and Friday.    Our equivalent of Occupational health suggest no more than 4 hours per day in the first week but I really wanted a break mid week. I’ll then go up to 25 the next week, then 30 aiming to be full time in the fourth week. They have told me at any time if it’s too much we can go slower or spread it over more weeks.    I tried to go back at the start of May but it was too soon. After two weeks I was exhausted and had to go off again. I’d just gone back onto Tamoxifen and really struggled with the initial side effects. This time I feel ready to go back.   it’s in your employers interest to get you back to work and keep you there so I hope they’ll be supportive and let you go back slow and steady. The other alternative is you stay off longer which isn’t good for them so fingers crossed you can come up with something that works.   think about what you want your first four weeks to look like and offer that as a proposal. Take the lead and go to see your manager saying you’re looking forward to going back and you’ve given a lot of thought to what will work for your job and help you cope with the return and then lay out what you want to do. It will be much harder for them to challenge it after you’ve said what you want to do as they’ve got to justify why it won’t work. You’ll most likely be tired in the afternoons so keep that in mind.    I hope you can come up with a solution that works for you and that you make a successful return to work xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Kaytee   hope you’re recovering well.   I suspect I’m an expert on drains as one of mine was in for 10 weeks. You soon get used to it.   I found a discreet black cord drain bag on the cancer research uk online shop which was great going out. Too much info but hanging the bag round my neck made going to the loo much easier ! At night I used an old fashioned wooden towel rail to wrap it round I then put that alongside me in bed so I couldn’t wake up and get out of bed forgetting it was there.   mine came out after 10 weeks as they were concerned I’d get an infection. Even after all that time it was still drawing 100ml per day but I didn’t feel a thing when it was removed and three months on bio oil daily means those scars are fading fast.   take care and heal swiftly xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Nikki,   Its really hard to say when is the right time as I guess it’s different for everyone but if you’re having doubts I’d say you’re probably not ready.   I went back on a phased return a month ago, first two weeks were okay but then extreme tiredness set in to the point I couldn’t stay awake much more than 2 hours so my GP signed me off again. My GP is amazing and has said she will sign me off for as long as I feel I need.   take that extra time, have a fabulous holiday and go back when you’re ready xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Kate, glad to have been of help. I too am a T-shirt’s and jeans kind of a girl so had nothing suitable. I bought far too much stuff, I’ve just taken 6 front fastening shirts to the charity shop. They were too low at the front. I hadn’t realised my bra would sit so high it would show so they were a complete waste of money!  One of the best things I invested in was a mastectomy gift set from the cancer research uk shop ( online ). It had a velvet heart shaped cushion which I used daily for 4 months, a cushion to protect you from the seatbelt in the car ( fabulous ) and a black corduroy drain bag. My drains were in for 10 weeks ( most unusual ) so I was glad I had something more subtle to keep the drains in while I was out and about. The hospital provided on but it was very busy and not me at all. Isn’t it fabulous that ladies give their time to make these things.  Jens friends on Facebook are fabulous, they will send you a heart shaped cushion if you donate the postage. I used this to support my armpit while I slept. I actually got two so I could rotate them as I didn’t want them to get whiffy. Again ladies who donate the cushions to those of us who need them. such an anxious time for you, I remember it all too well. Keep busy and take good care of yourself xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Kate, isn’t it madness that with everything else we have to worry about we have wardrobe concerns too. I drove myself mad before my mastectomy and reconstruction and purchased far too much stuff. Good bras are vital. Your breast care nurse will be able to recommend what type and size you need and where to get them local to you. I was unable to raise my arm for a long time after surgery while my implant settled so had to use front fastening bras with hooks and eyes and a zip ( I think you can use a good sports bra ). It needs wide straps and a wide band under the bust. I was a 40E but, I’m so lucky my hospital supply the bras, I had to have 42E after surgery due to swelling and eventually 44E as the swelling increased. I’m 6 months on now but still wear a hefty bra unless I’m in the shower. front fastening pj’s are a god send when the hospital are checking your wound. I lived in leggings as my belly was swollen due to the drains. I had two front fastening oversize shirts and lived in those. Couldn’t stand seams near my armpit and was able to button up higher than I normally would to hide my strapping and undo buttons for the drains to go into my dolly bag .  Many questions let me know, take care, stay strong and I’ll be thinking of you xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Netty,   I’m off Letrozole now and back on Tamoxifen but I had the same problem. From about week 2 it was almost as if I’d lost sensation and didn’t get a warning I needed to pee. Had a few close calls as bizarrely if my eyes saw a loo I started to go so had to be quicker than Linford Christie getting on to the loo ! i had lots of awful side effects with Letrozole and must admit I never mentioned this one to my consultant, GP or pharmacist ( I’d never seen anyone else mention it so thought it was just me.)  It did start to get better but as soon as I came off Letrozole it went away. the things we have to deal with hey xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Carol 2145, first I’m really sorry you find yourself on this forum - it really is a club none of us wanted to join but will give you the most amazing support. I had a right side mastectomy in December and had an immediate reconstruction using an implant. I’ve been delighted with the results so far. I was a 40E and the largest implant has given me a good B possibly C cup so I have to have my good side reduced to match. When the reduction is done I will have a nipple created on my new boob and then a tattoo.  My implant is really good, it’s perky but already settling into a natural droop but the good one needs raising to match it when it’s reduced.  i have a silicon nipple I can wear, which was cast from my remaining nipple so is a perfect match.  I decided to go with just an implant because I didn’t want additional scarring and, because my boobs were large anyway I would have needed an implant as well. As I had to use an implant I decided to go with just that. My surgery was longer because of the implant and I had to stay in overnight, I also had two drains - one stayed in for 10 weeks.  I’ve been really pleased with the results it feels very soft and I feel sensation in my skin when it’s touched but not in the boob and it won’t “squish” into clothing like my real boob did. I have got a good cleavage which was important to me. hope that helps, any questions feel free to give me a shout. I changed my mind so many times between diagnosis and surgery I know how bamboozling it all is. Once my surgery was done I changed my mind about the reduction loads of times too but I’m very settled and comfortable with my decisions now I hope you can get the same peace. take care and stay strong xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Lunamuna, not sure I can help but here goes with my experience. I was diagnosed October and had my right side mastectomy on 7 December, my surgeon was fabulous and right from my initial diagnosis her view was I must have an immediate reconstruction. I had invasive lobular cancer, invasive tubular cancer and dcis so, being multi focal, mastectomy was the only way to go. Fortunately it had not spread to my lymph nodes so, although I had the sentinel node removed I did not need radiotherapy or chemotherapy. I was 40E at the time of diagnosis and decided to have my reconstruction with implant only. The largest implant they could source was 660cl which has left me with a good C cup so there is quite a difference between my two boobs. The shape is fabulous and I love how it feels ( it’s really perky too). I’ve now got to have my good side reduced and lifted to match.  I’m over the moon with what she has done for me, when I touch it, to be honest it feels no different to the real one although I obviously only feel sensation in the skin.  Currently I’ve put weight on, thanks to Letrozole, so I’ve gone up to a 44E and have to wear a balance prosthetic to even up my shape. The prosthetic is really uncomfortable as it cups my new breast and the weight of it drags the new boob down. Ordinarily my surgeon would want me to have my reduction now but I’ve asked her to hold off so I can try to loose some weight before it’s done. They removed 1.3kg of tissue in my mastectomy so I’m hoping by loosing weight I can naturally reduce it before the surgery. when the surgery is done I’m having a nipple created on my new boob at the same time. Not sure if any of this helps but I’ve never regretted having the implant, I love the shape size and feel of it and look forward to the other one matching it. good luck with the second opinion, if by any remote chance you’re living in Dorset I can recommend a fabulous surgeon   take care and stay strong xx Melanie    ... View more

Hi JackPeterWhite, I’m sorry you find yourself on this forum but hope between us all we can help. Without knowing your wife it’s realky hard to know what’s going on for her. For me I really struggled with feeling out of control and drove my husband mad insisting I had to do everything for myself. I did ask him for help when I needed it but if there was a way of doing something myself I would.  When I was first told I had Breast Cancer I was at my mammogram recall appointment, they asked if I wanted him to come in but I said no as I knew I had loads more tests to do and he’d be sat on his own upset. I thought it was to protect him but looking back I think I was desperately trying to get some control. I know it won’t be easy, and I’m sure you’ve tried, but you’re going to have to tell her how you’re feeling. Explain you understand she’s going through a horrible experience and she’s probably worried for herself, you, the family, the future but you feel.......and then tell her what you’re feeling. Ask her to consider letting you be more involved by letting you come to her appointments. The breast cancer nurse can probably put you in touch with a support groups for the partners and they might be able to help too. I chose to have my husband with me and to have him there when I first saw my scars etc but your wife might be totally different. I’ve met women who’s husbands still haven’t seen their scars years on. The loss of a breast,or breasts, or part of a breast can have such a huge impact on your identity and your sense of self you may have to accept she wants to do this on her own and just be there for her to support her in anyway you can stay strong xx Melanie  ... View more

Hi Typical me, I had my mastectomy in December 2018 and had immediate reconstruction with silicon implant. I’m a “larger” lady and at the time of surgery had a 40E bust but have put weight on since so now 44E.  The implant I had was the largest they could source ( I think it was 660cl ) and has given me a good B cup possibly a C so I’m currently using a balance prosthetic until I have my good side reduced to match. The implant is fabulous, the shape is spot on and it feels quite natural when I touch it. I have a mesh sling holding it in place and I’m quite happy not wearing my prosthetic as it looks really pert. The imbalance in size is very obvious when I’m naked but no so much when I’m dressed. When I have the reduction done I’m having a nipple created on my implant and will then have a tattoo done. i didn’t want all the additional scaring from having tissue taken to create the new boob and so far I’m really pleased with the results I’ve got. Not sure if that helps but if you have any questions I can help with don’t hesitate to get in touch xx Melanie  ... View more

Blimey I’m really sorry to hear that, like you say hopefully just a small setback and she will soon be ok and allowed to come home again.   Please send her my very best wishes, I’m so sorry that happened to her but onwards and upwards   Melanie xx     ... View more

So pleased to hear this, once the op was over I felt so different knowing it was gone and it was now all about recovery I hope she feels the same. Lots of opportunities now for you and your daughters to support and look after her.  Please send her my love and best wishes for a good swift recovery. Take care and stay strong Melanie xx ... View more

Hi Ronmich 01, I know today was your wife’s surgery day. Hope it has all gone ok and you and your daughters were able to keep each other company. Send her my best wishes and tell her I hope she makes a full and swift recovery xx Melanie ... View more

I was only in hospital one night which suited me fine as I’m much better at home. I had two drains one from under my arm and one from the reconstruction. Both mine came out just above my belly button and it was really easy to change them everyday. I’m an odd one so my one drain was in for 4 weeks but the other for 9 weeks. Most surgeons remove them after a few days but mine likes to keep them in and they did draw in excess of 5L so clearly did do the job. My op was 7 December I had my histology results on 12 December and started Tamoxifen the next day. I’d had a hysterectomy many years ago so didn’t know if I was pre or post menopausal they now think I’m post so I’ve swapped to Letrozole. On Tamoxifen I had no side effects at all ( I was on it for 8 weeks ) but Letrozole I’m getting loads of side effects and they started almost instantly after I started taking it. Blasting on with it in the hope I settle down with them.  I think everyone’s different, I was very tearful between my recall and diagnosis but after my surgery I was fine I’ve treated my recovery like a task I have to deal with. Having support around you is vital. Don’t hesitate to ask if there is anything else I can help with. Take care and stay strong xx Melanie  ... View more

Definitely spend the time with your daughters, the reconstruction makes it quite a long op I went down at 8:30 and came back at 3:30 so you need to keep yourself occupied. Your wife will be fine, she’ll be oblivious to it all, but it will feel like a lifetime for you   Take care and stay strong xx Melanie  ... View more