Breast Cancer Now Forum

Good on you for doing that sounds like it will really help give you something positive to focus on and keep you occupied and at the end some beautiful jewellery and skills ☺️ ... View more

Hi Wahini Where did you book your jewellery course through was it something like breast friends or macmillian? I could do with something to keep me occupied but wouldn't know where to look x ... View more

Hi Kitkat  I do think this time of year is not helping I would love a good walk but I haven't been out as it's been so cold out lately. I know when spring appears and we have abit of sunshine I will feel better and will lift my mood. And I probably could phone my old bcn nurse and ask her advice and tell her I haven't been given a new nurse. I was hoping at my appointment with my oncologist I could mention these things but it got postponed. That's good advice I might just do that. And drummers widow sorry you had a bad experience of your bra fitting its put me off going somewhere like that when my time comes . Sounds horrible I think you deserve to treat yourself to something new to make up for it. Sending big hugs to everyone on here xxx ... View more

Thanks for replying Diktat It's good to know what I'm feeling is quite normal I'm glad I shared my feelings on here it's definitely helped.  I feel exactly the same way as you at the moment my lump hasn't shrank from my second chemo so that's worrying me as my lump is large and I wonder if the chemo is working and like you it's in my lymph nodes too so constantly worrying if it's spreading. Every little ache I'm getting in my chest worrys me and before my diagnosis I was not a worrier! I too will be having a mx after chemo.  I think if I could tell my lump was shrinking and was further along maybe I would feel more confident but as my other half said it's still only early days and I have only had 2 chemos.  It's hard not to worry I did check out last night my hospital does have a macmillan 3 times a week so I will book an appointment and speak to them. I like what you said about the Swan analogy I definitely try to look calm and as if I'm in control to the outside world but I'm padding like crazy understand. I think alot of us are. I haven't cried much since my diagnosis I try and just get on with it but it builds up and I just end up crying and I can't help it!  I worry you haven't cried yet as it's a natural release and as much as I hate crying especially in front of people it does help at the time. You do need to let it out too. Hopefully your next round of chemo will be better and hopefully not as many side effects I did read that if one lot wasn't very kind on your body the other type should be better you usually take to one better then the other not sure if that's true but hopefully you won't be as bad on THP  Hope you have a good day today and sending you hugs and best wishes x Keep smiling ☺ xxxx ... View more

Thanks for replying drummers widow I'm sorry to hear your struggling too it's so hard everything that we have to deal with I think that's what I need someone to talk things through and to listen how I'm feeling as some things I don't want to way my family down with all my fears. And as much as they try they really don't understand what I'm going through. I do find this forum a great help I do feel like I need more it's taking that first step of getting help I suppose knowing what to say.... I would recommend a good cry if you can it does help for a short while! Sending you big hugs too xxxx ... View more

Thank you Shi for replying to me  I thought I was strong every one thinks I am but I feel like I'm crumbling inside because I feel I'm in limbo at the moment I've got all the fear and anxiety of all the what if's and is my chemo treatment working so far!  I don't currently have a BC nurse when I was fast tracked they put me onto a near by hospital with a really nice BC nurse then just before my chemo I got transferred to a nearer hospital as it closer to where I live and I haven't been given a new BC nurse since I've started chemo.  My hospital haven't really given me any advice or offered me anyone to talk to I'm not sure if there is a Macmillan at my hospital as I haven't seen anything apart from the leaflets they send you home with. I like the sound of therapy with horses I love animals that's an idea I could look into. I'm based in staffordshire. I do feel slightly better for having a good cry and letting it out. My other half thinks I need to speak to someone. I also feel better for just writing it down and getting it off my chest instead of bottling it all up. Thank you for your kind words and support they really help xx ... View more

Hi everyone and welcome Marilyn to group I haven't been on lately but have tried to catch up on everyones post Dikat you look so lovely in your wig you really would never know it wasn't your own hair. You also look great without which is inspiring ☺️ I just wanted to ask when do you normally get offered some kind of counciling? Or do you have to find it for yourself I feel like I'm struggling mentally with alot of emotions and I think it's because I've bottled alot of it up and just tried to get on with this journey and I'm only at the start and I'm struggling emotionally. I have thought of ringing up Macmillan but I don't know what to say or where to begin! Also I was supposed to start my third chemo on Monday 4th but the hospital rang me yesterday to say my chemo has been delayed by a week because they had to change my appointment with the oncologist and they won't let me have chemo till I've been seen first.  I feel so disappointed and angry that it's been delayed by a week just because they couldn't fit me in on time! One week feels like a life time when you're waiting for chemo. I think my chemo being delayed has not helped my emotions and I came on my period yesterday so everything rolled together and today I saw a work colleague we chatted about work as I'm currently on sick leave she was filling me in on what's happening and when she asked how I was feeling I just broke down in tears on her! I thought I was coping but I realise I'm not. ... View more

Hi everyone  Glad to see you your back Angelblue and your doing ok apart from the fatigue. Marykamille that was a good article you posted I have just read it very helpful, I had my second chemo on Monday and haven't slept much this time but I'm guessing it's the steroids. I'm starting to get cabin fever being cooped in all day but it's so cold and miserable outside. As for my hair well it's very patchy and thin now that I wouldn't feel comfortable to go out like it so I think I'm going to be brave and get my other half to shave it off on Sunday I know there will be tears but I'm hoping eventually I will be able to get used to my appearance in the mirror or I hope so! 😱  On the plus side next chemo will be quicker without having to use the cold cap so I'm trying to look at all positives plus once my hair is gone that's the worst part for me emotionally. Sending hugs and good wishes to everyone here x ... View more

Oh gosh I really haven't got the energy to go to a gym! Not that I've ever been to one I have a exercise bike at home and I keep looking at it thinking I will try and go on it but it's the last thing I feel like doing. Think that was abit insensitive of your oncologist I think we have enough to deal with then making you worry about your weight. And yes tomorrow is a new day xx ... View more

Dikat im glad to hear your feeling calmer today ☺️   im on granocyte (lenograstim) injections for 5 days on EC so can't say on the side effects of yours but I've been fine on mine I was told to take at night so any effects or joint pain are while you sleep. And drummers widow I know it's another thing that makes us feel crap when we stand on the scales but I've always been told it's better to put on weight then lose it while on treatment and like Dikat said alot of it probably is all the fluids I hope your feeling a little brighter tonight xx ... View more

Hi Dikat  Sorry to hear you was at A&E last night I know it's scary being there. How are you feeling now? I had a really bad migraine on my first chemo when I spoke to my oncologist she said it was not related to any of the medication and I think it was stressed related so your oncologist is probably right stress can really effect us more then we realise but it goes hand in hand with breast cancer unfortunately. I feel the same as you with everything that's to come as I'm only at the start of my journey I know I will have A double mastectomy but the only way I can deal with it is take each treatment at a time once the first chemo is over look to the next and take it day by day and remember we are a day closer to being healthy again ☺️ Sending you virtual hugs you can do this 💪 ... View more

We are all here for you xx ... View more

Jayne I'm so sorry to hear that I bet that came as a real blow today ☹️  there really is no pattern to breast cancer its all a mind field!  But looking at the positives it's stage 1 so they have found it nice and early and can tweak your chemo treatment to blast that too all at the same time keep positive you sound a strong lady so I know you can do this. I will be having a double mastectomy but I will cross that bridge when I come to that stage. Sounds like you have a really good nurse and that's great she's gone through treatment plans and info on complementary therapies. I feel for you with your kids and commend you that they are your main concern I can't give advice in that department as I have none but you sound like your doing a super job as for screaming and crying sometimes you just need to let it out and lean on friends and family tomorrow is a new day and you will see through the woods. Sending you a virtual hug xxx   ... View more

Drummerswidow I hope you're feeling OK after your third round and you enjoyed your nap. I think I will be napping very soon. That's nice to hear you have buddied up with someone else it makes it seem easier abit crap you had such a delay though. Who do you ask for a copy of the blood results would that be the nurse or oncologist? And Dikat how are you feeling today I hope you're feeling better I know you have had a rough ride so far but I'm hoping it's getting better for you xx ... View more

Hi Marykamille  Thank you for your reply I've just had my second chemo today and back home and feeling more positive today I think I just needed a good cry and to try get my head around my hair going still think there will be more tears to come maybe I would be better of just shaving it then it's done and move forward. I have a really nice wig but still haven't had the courage to go outside in public with it yet and I don't think the headscarfs suit me they can look so lovely on lots of women but I don't think I have the face for one but will wear one at home. That made me laugh what your husband said as my other half said something very similar 😁 Hope you're having a positive day too sending you big hugs x ... View more

Hi Jayne how did you get on today seeing the nurse? Hope you got all your questions answered I like the way you had a mohekan for the day it did make me smile picturing it in my head i wish I was that brave 😁 Feeling more positive today after my good cry sometimes you just have to let it all out sending love and positive vibes to everyone x ... View more

Thankyou Dikat yes I've been trying to carry on as normal and trying too look positive to family but in reality I'm scared and it's so hard because as much as they try and understand no one really knows unless you're going through it or been through it. I'm sure your not having a negative effect on family they will understand and I'm sure they want to help as much as they can when you're not feeling well due to chemo And yes I really hope tomorrow is a better day for us we have to take each day at time xx ... View more

Thank you drummers widow that's made me cry just reading your reply, it helps to know I'm not alone so thank you xxx ... View more

Hi everyone I haven't posted lately but have been reading other people's posts.  I'm having a really down day today where I can't seem to stop crying, and feel this is the only place where people will understand how I'm feeling right now. I have my second chemo tomorrow and even though I knew my hair would start to fall out, yesterday and today I've had a whole lap full of hair and I'm surprised I still have any left. (my hair was very thick) I'm having chemo first before surgery so I have been trying to carry on as normal as can be but I think losing my hair has finally hit home that I have cancer and this journey is very real! 😭😢   ... View more

Hi Ajorchid I just wanted to say I'm sending you a virtual hug 🤗 I'm sorry to hear your chemo was put bk because of an abscess as if things aren't hard enough you have to deal with that too but sounds like they are on top of it and the 3rd will soon be here And the hair well I'm thinking the same as you I'm stressing and thinking about it every day I'm hoping it will be a relief when it's done but I suspect there will be alot of tears on my behalf On the positive side no more bad hair days 😄 ... View more