Hi Ladies, Thanks so much for replying, I didn’t expect so much of a response. It shows that when you become affected there are so many people out there with stories to tell. I’m writing this in the bath in a hotel in Istanbul on the quickest work trip ever with another planned to Hong Kong in a couple of weeks. It’s been a busy few weeks and I’m thankful that there are so many people who have invested time and effort in learning how to fix people up and put them back together again and into sharing their stories. The appointments were hard but as nice everyone was they finally talked figures in a really pragmatic way and I came to the conclusion I can’t argue with a risk rating of 85% and an increase of 1-2% every year as I get older. That means I’m almost certain that something else will rear it’s ugly head and I might not be so lucky if it happened again. Even the psych appointment against all my previous thoughts helped to sort things out for me. It seems I’m a control freak and the thing that was freaking me out is the short term- the op, the recovery, the after effects and not being in control of my own body. But I’m not in control now really, the genes are and if I don’t fix it now then there won’t be anything left for me to control later. So, the strange sick feeling that was residing in my stomach has given way to the start of a plan and me telling myself it really is my choice albeit between 3 really **bleep**ty things. On my terms it’s looking like it will be the preventative double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I’m working on taking every bit of positivity out of this situation including shopping for new bras that might actually fit, a size reduction (believe it or not) and being able to wear some more revealing clothes!! Also I’m training again, I figure if I’ve gotta do this I need to go into it strong. I’m surprised how I feel now in comparison, I might lose it again nearer the time who knows but either way I have to keep going and get to the other side. I’m aiming to be in a bikini on a beach somewhere ASAP !
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