Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi ladies, I feel like I'm going mad so hoping someone, somewhere can help. I have just gone back to work 3 months after mx (diep recon). My work have been really supportive and I couldn't ask for more. I'm a teacher and they have got me on a phased return - I don't start properly teaching until next Monday. For a year or so (since before dx) I have felt like I'd lost all passion for the job and started looking to move out of teaching. I tried to use my time off recovering from op to figure out what I want from life or what I could try to retrain to do. I tried to think of the time on sick leave as a positive to get my life in order and thought I would come out of it all a success story - like these women who set up charities or start businesses after cancer (you know  - the kind of inspirational stories you read in nice magazines?!) I went round in circles and suddenly it was time to go back to work and nothing (and everything) had changed. I am now back at work and feel so inadequate all the time. I'm starting to realise that I've maybe been fixating on changing career and hoping that will solve all my problems. But I feel so completely lost and depressed all the time, I drove home in tears today even though nothing bad had happened. I can't now even imagine getting any new job, let alone having the energy to do something well. On top of that, I now am terrified of actually teaching again, and feel convinced more than ever that I can't do the job I have and will never be able to get back to how I was. I don't know how I'm going to stand in front of hoards of teenagers again. Everything just feels like so much pressure and I feel sick inside emotionally. I just want to cry all the time.  It occurred to me on the way home that I have been taking Taxoxifen for about 6 weeks with no side effects that I've noticed. Could that be making me feel like this? I don't know whether to believe my feelings now? How do I know if it's really my feelings or just the tablets? I feel so, so lost and like I've lost control of my life and my emotions. I have booked a counselling appointment for Friday but I feel like I need some sanity before then. Please help xxx ... View more

Hi all, I had a left mx and diep reconstruction on 28th Feb. All went well (although I have quite a bit of fat necrosis which I'm hoping will sort itself out with some massage and time). I now have an agonising wait of 10 days to find out if I need chemo or tamoxifen. Anyway, before you go into hospital you get the list of stuff you might need (firm control pants, supportive non-underwired bra etc) and now I've got 3 bra extenders that I never used if anyone wants them? They are 3 hook ones - white, black and nude coloured. I'm happy to pay postage to anywhere in UK. It just seems a shame to throw them out if someone could use them. It might save someone a slight bit of stress if they arrive in your letterbox rather than going out looking for them!   Also, if you're looking for a soft bra to wear after diep/tram flap surgery - I was really impressed with Asda. I got a 2pack of their nursing bras (£15) for hospital and the nurses said they were perfect. They can check the new breast regularly and it's easy to open and close quickly. I'm now wearing Asda post-surgery bras at home which suit me better as they have more support for my little boobs. Hope this helps somebody. If you would like the bra extenders just let me know and I will send them off straight away.  Lots of love to anyone who reads this. We are all in it together. Linda x     ... View more

Hi Everyone, This is my first post on here although I have been reading lots of threads over the last few weeks. At the end of November I found a pea-sized lump in my left breast. I went to my GP straight away and got referred. There is a history of BC in my family. I had a mammogram and ultrasound which showed a lot of calcification in my left breast (weirdly the lump I'd found didn't seem to concern any of the professionals who examined me). I was called back for a core-needle biopsy a few days after, which I found very difficult and painful as the anesthetic didn't seem to work until it was nearly over.   The woman who did the biopsy told me she thinks it's 70% likely that the calcifications are cancer as "there is so much of it". I had a long talk with the breast care nurse there and she went through all the information about mastectomies. I cam out very upset, feeling sure that I needed a mastectomy.  Because Christmas was in between, it's been 3 weeks since that day and tomorrow I get the biopsy results back. I have done so much research online into mastectomies and reconstruction options. I thought I was ok with whatever they say tomorrow. I even started thinking of it as a bit of a positive (?!!!) - a chance to get my health in order, rethink what I want out of life etc. (I turn 40 in 2019 which might be part of it).   But today, with tomorrow's appointment looming I feel really, really sick and scared. I feel on the brink of tears all the time and I don't know how I'm going to get through this evening and tonight. The thought of waiting to be called in to be told the results is so so scary. I don't know what help or advice I'm expecting here. But I hope just putting my feelings down in black and white might help.   xxx   ... View more