Hi Edinbird I can see from reading the posts that you are struggling a bit at the moment. I also know how you feel about the forums. I have only used this one but if you remember back to when I had my sepsis and made the decision to stop chemotherapy I found it a double edged sword one part of me really wanted and needed the support of all the lovely individuals in our February group to help me get through that dark time. However on the other hand I found it really hard to read about how you were all managing to cope with chemo I know with terrible sideffects but you all still carried on. I felt how can they all do it and I can't, and yes I will always feel I have lessened my chances of disease free survival by opting out of the chemo, and everyone of you has done all you can to maximize your chances. But looking back the benefits of talking to all of you has far out weighed any negatives. But we will always compare ourselves to others whether it's about weight, hair, prettiness or even ability, that's just human nature. But as I think Susie B said we are all individuals who react differently to illness and treatment. At the moment I am doing ok, I always have that worry that it's not going to last. I am trying to live in the moment and not worry about what I can't change (easier said than done I know). As for the pain it might be the drain site because mine was painful for months after. In fact if I press the area now it's still tender. I hope you have a reasonable day and begin to feel better soon. XX
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