Initial diagnosis grade 2 invasive ductal breast cancer, now waiting for staging, treatment action plan, consultant thinks it's in lymph nodes too. So scared it will be stage 4 and spread elsewhere. Emotions and mood all over the place. All thoughts consumed by cancer. Admired a blossom tree today and wondered how many more spring seasons I'll live to see. Not knowing the full picture is torture, feels like someone is holding a gun to my head but not knowing if/when theyll pull the trigger.
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