Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi  I’m sorry you’re feeling like you do, it’s so tough post treatment isn’t it? I wish I could come up with a solution to help you but it sounds like you’re doing everything you can for now. Was your BCN there at the appointment? Was you able to talk to her?  I’m 18 months post treatment and feel very similar to how you describe which no one around me understands. I’ve still got pain from surgery and follow up appointments were cancelled. I’ve finally got one for Friday.  I find just keeping busy, plodding on helps to get through the day for now. I’m having counselling which is helping but it’s going to take time.  Sorry I’m not helping but I didn’t want to read and not reply. I just wanted to say that you’re not alone and that I hope youre worrying for nothing over the mammogram. Take care xx  ... View more

Hi  ive been taking Letrozole for a year and have a variety of side effects, the worst by far are headaches. I usually wake up with it, it doesn’t go and the pain is relentless. I also have joint pain and numbness in my feet. It’s a weird feeling, a bit like I’ve walked miles and miles but I haven’t. I wasn’t really sure what it was and hadn’t thought it could be nerve damage which is quite worrying.  I cant change to tamoxifen as I’ve had 2 DVT’s in the past but I hope it’s kinder to you than the Letrozole xx  ... View more

Hi Sonia,  I'm sorry you haven’t had any further replies. I do think that as people start to move forward they use the support forums less.  I’m struggling to move on just yet as I’ve found the emotions post treatment very difficult. People mention PTSD and I think that’s a good description but in a mild form. At times I feel numb about things and others I’m as upset as I was going through treatment.  Ive started talking to a counsellor again which I think will take some time but feel it will help. Straight after treatment I thought I should be back to normal and rushed into everything, counselling, courses etc almost to prove to myself and others I was trying everything I could to get over it. Needless to say it didn’t work as I wasn’t ready.  I met a lovely lady at a Moving Forward course, 8 weeks post treatment who told me this was too soon. She was over 12 months post treatment. She kept telling me to put everything on hold for a year as I wasn’t ready, how right she was!!  That could be very true for you too. The shock and enormity of it can hit at any time and perhaps some help would be what you need for now.  Take care of yourself xx   ... View more

Hi Sonia,  i haven’t got any reassuring stories I can tell you as I’m 13 months on from treatment but didn’t want to pass by without commenting.  I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this, it’s hard trying to move on. Unfortunately I don’t think anyone is the same after a cancer diagnosis and stories in the media seem to be everywhere. I wish there were more success stories to reinforce how far treatment has come and that many women never encounter cancer again.  When you finished treatment did you have any support? It sounds like you’re struggling with what happened and wondered if you had had any counselling? If you did you could always go back to it. Alternatively the nurses at Breast Cancer Now are fantastic to talk to. They would understand how you’re feeling and be able to give you support/reassurance you need.  I hope you hear from others who are further down the line to give you the help you need xx  ... View more

Hi im sorry that you’re going through this and while so young, it’s a huge shock, not just for you but your friends and family.  I think most people who have gone through this have a story of friends that just wasn’t there for them while others they didn’t know that well stepped up and were amazing.  Some people just don’t know what to say or how deal with hearing you have cancer. I felt just the same so didn’t  understand why they treated me differently. The most hurtful was people not saying anything at all. My husband’s family never called or asked how I was doing even when visiting and I didn’t bring it up as I didn’t really know how to so it just got ignored.  On the opposite of that, one friend who I’ve known for years but not been very close to was amazing. My husband had to go away the weekend before my surgery and I was in a pretty bad way at that point. My friend came and stayed and was a massive support that by the time she left I felt I could cope with what was coming. She’s listened to me so many times without judgement, just understanding and kindness and I couldn’t have coped without her.  I hope once your friends have got over the shock they come through for you just give them a little time.  Good luck with all your treatment xx  ... View more

Hi Becky, im glad your meeting went well and you’re happy to have a plan. Just a thought, is there any Lea way if you find it a struggle? It sounds quite quick for a phased return as others have said how tiring they’ve found it going back especially after radiotherapy. Perhaps having that as a proviso might help so that you’re not putting yourself under too much pressure.  If your boss genuinely doesn’t understand why you need a phased return perhaps explain about exhaustion/fatigue which can become debilitating for a long time after. It can build up even after treatment has finished. I’m sure there’s plenty on the breast cancer now sure about it.  Min glad you’re taking the nurses’ advice and I hope you get plenty of rest and relaxation xx  ... View more

Aww Becky I know that feeling. I had to have monthly meetings with my boss which I found very daunting. I’m sure it won’t be as you imagine, they’ll just want to support you.  Ive found my confidence/self esteem has completely gone since my op not that I had a huge amount before it. It’s very early still for you and a lot of adjusting, understanding, accepting and a bit of grieving is yet to be done. I really didn’t understand all this a year ago and if I could pass anything on to you is to be kind to yourself. I know I’ve made myself worse by struggling with guilt and frustration. Good luck lovey, I’d love to know how it goes xx  ... View more

Hi,  i hope your manager can put a plan in place for your return as it sounds like it’s something you need.  Thats interesting you were told to chase the recon up in July. My next appointment was supposed to be in June but that’s been cancelled. I never expected to still be like this a year on and I’m resigning myself to the fact that I doubt that will change until at least next year.  Ive found not having the next appointment scheduled really hard as it feels like I’ve just been dropped. Then the thought of having the recon becomes more difficult. I really don’t want to stay as I am as it’s quite unsightly so I’ll just patiently wait.  Good luck for tomorrow xx  ... View more

Hi Becky,  I was diagnosed in feb 19, followed by a sentinel node op in March & had a single mastectomy in April 2019, just Letrozole after but was supposed to have immediate recon but it couldn’t be completed in the op due to previous surgery.  My treatment was completed in 11 weeks and to be honest didn’t have time to comprehend what had happened to me. I was numb before surgery and completely fell apart after. I’m still no where near getting myself together now but slow improvements are being made.  I was signed off during my treatment but after I was no where near ready to go back. I saw my GP regularly and she extended my sick leave which at the time I felt terrible I wasnt coping and going back to work as I should be. To be honest it just made everything I was feeling so much worse.  My advice would be, only if you’re able, give yourself the time to recover but please take the pressure off worrying about work, it won’t help you. During the time I was off I realised I didn’t want to go back, i no longer enjoyed it and I finally resigned. I’m not 100% sure Ive done the right thing but at the same time I don’t miss it and I’m happier at home.  I’m still waiting on what recon I can have which obviously has been delayed further so the emotional recovery continues. Only now I’m beginning to realise how unwell I’ve been and as everyone has told me, give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself lovely xx  ... View more

Hi Cambo55 im sorry you’re still struggling with the after effects and pain. I didn’t have radiotherapy so can’t offer any help but im sure someone will come along soon who can.  I can sympathise with the discomfort laying down as I can’t lay on my mastectomy side a year on.  Its still very early after your treatment has finished so your body is needing lots of rest to recover. If you’re able to rest do so when you need to and hopefully things will improve.  Take care xx  ... View more

Hi Kezzybear68,  i haven’t got much to add to the excellent replies you’ve had from Jaybro & Evie but just to reassure you you’re not alone.  I can look back to a post a year ago, being the same as you approx 3-4 weeks post treatment feeling absolutely dreadful asking why aren’t I back to normal yet? I’ve had my op, I don’t need anymore treatment, I’m so lucky but I can’t stop crying?? Family and friends felt the same but i hadn’t told them how I felt so it’s not surprising they didn’t realise.  Of course I’m lucky my treatment was quick and I’m ok but having cancer, a mastectomy and a failed reconstruction isn’t. I wish I could say everything is good now but it’s taking a long time to process what has happened and on good days I understand that but on others it feels very difficult.  Give yourself time and patience and you’ll get there, sending love and kindness to you xx    jaybro & Evie, you always give such great advice and I just wanted to thank you both for that xx  ... View more

Hi murphsmum,  I’m sorry your friend has let you down. Unfortunately it happens so often. My best friend of 50 years has completely let me down. Like your friend we’ve always kept in touch but life and families have sometimes stopped us getting together as much as we’d like. She lives about 30 mins away from me. I had my mastectomy in April last year which didn’t all go to plan. I saw her 3 weeks later when she visited. She’s the only person who has noticeably stared at my chest which shocked me but I was pleased to see her. I was very upset at the time and cried a lot during the afternoon. She left saying she’d come and see me again soon. The next I heard from her was my birthday in July just a text to say happy birthday. The next time she contacted me was 2 weeks ago and was shocked that I’m not back to normal yet! I wasn’t angry but I was honest about how the last 12 months have been for me and she did apologise for not keeping in touch. Whether that changes I’ll wait and see!  You learn who your friends are quite quickly and those who haven’t been there for me I don’t want to waste me time with.  ... View more

Hi Jane,  ive been taking alendronic acid for approx 8 months and haven’t had any problems so far. My gp said to take it on the same day every week, with a pint of water, on an empty stomach and stay upright for at least 30 minutes.  It is important to stay upright and it was recommended that I had a dental check up before I started them.  I’m sorry you’ve been diagnosed with osteoporosis but I hope you get on ok with the tablets xx    ... View more

Hi Daffodil  yes unfortunately it’s very normal to still have some pain/discomfort after 3 weeks. Having the lymph nodes removed can take some time to recover from on its own. The op involves going through the nerves which cause some very strange sensations as they heal.  If you’re worried about how your feeling give your BCN a call to check.  Keep doing the exercises you’ve been given as they will help in the long term.  Take care xx  ... View more

Hi Suki301,  Just wanted to say I’m really sorry a difficult and stressful time is being made worse by having your op cancelled several times. I hope you’ve got your friends and family supporting you,  take care lovey  lucy xx ... View more

Hi Daffodil,  I want to send you a huge gentle hug lovey, I can imagine that was quite a shock for you. I hope you’ve got your family and friends around you giving you lots of love and support, especially as you’re still recovering from the mastectomy. My diagnosis was quite different from yours so can’t give any advice but no doubt lots of lovely ladies on here will be able to help.  Let us know how the scan goes, I’ll be thinking of you hoping it’s good news.  Best wishes Lucy xx  ... View more

Hi  Please don’t think you’re thick, no one knows this stuff until you go through it. I was given a description at diagnosis of the cancer I had but it was confirmed after my op when everything had been tested. I was sent a letter from the oncologist confirming everything as well.  Hopefully on your follow up you’ll be told but be sure to ask as it’s important to know what you’ve actually had.  I hope it’s all good news when you go back, take care xx  ... View more

Hi unfortunately it is very common and as Pawsome has said quite likely because your friend doesn’t know what else to say. It’s hard because what you really need is someone to listen and understand. Having a mastectomy is a huge thing what ever age you are and her comments belittle what you’ve been through.  I had a mastectomy, my recon couldn’t be completed and a reduction on my good side which was very difficult but made worse by the reduction being smaller than I was expecting. I felt like I’d lost everything and a few weeks later whilst trying to open up and tell my good friend, I was told welcome to my world I’ve never had very much. That really hurt. It made everything I was feeling and thinking seem trivial and that I was making too much of it. It was very early on and I really didn’t comprehend what I was going through.  My friend is still my friend, in lots of ways she’s been fantastic and I think she’s learned along the way how hard this is although I’ve never mentioned how that comment made me feel.  Youll soon discover who you can talk to and who you can’t. As pawsome said some friends disappear completely and others you don’t know that well suddenly step up and you find the support from someone you least expected it from. I have an amazing friend who completely understands and why even a year on things are still very difficult.  If it’s really hurt you you could try to tell her how you’re feeling and that it upset you or just let it go and mark it up to thoughtlessness.  Its early days and emotions are pretty high right now so I hope you’re ok and you recover quickly. Take good care of yourself, that’s the most important thing xx  ... View more