Breast Cancer Now Forum

I promise you, you won’t need any courage, everyone I spoke to was so kind and really wanted to help. Call on Tuesday and get the ball rolling, you’ll be so glad you did. Telling someone how you’ve felt and hearing them say they know that feeling or that fear takes a huge weight off of you.  Hearing from the lady I spoke to some of the thoughts she’d had or how upset she’d been made me realise I’m not alone anymore, which is what I felt I was, completely on my own with all of this. Like I said before there’s always people here to help xx  ... View more

Hi @kmary  post treatment is a very difficult time and something that effects everyone differently. I’m glad you’ve downloaded the Peter Harvey piece as it’s so true. I’m 2 years on and still find things hard. The fear of reoccurrence is never far away but I’ve found the shock that this actually happened to me very slow to process. I read a book called The Cancer Survivor’s Companion which was very helpful as well as posting here. When I find things overwhelming I still post here and find the help and support invaluable.  When thinking about recon the nurses here put me in touch with the Someone Like Me service to speak to someone who had been through a similar experience to me. That was a massive help, we had some many things in common and it was so lovely to talk to someone who understood. I thought it was too late to speak to someone after treatment but I was wrong and the lady was so lovely. You can speak as often or as little as you want it’s entirely led by you. Definitely something to think about if you can find a friend of family member that understands.  You’re  not alone so please don’t think that, please keep posting here if you need to, take care xx  ... View more

I don’t think they know what to do about it but I wish they’d just say that as I feel like I’ve been fobbed off. Re the scar it could be the internal scarring that is pulling, which i think the only thing that could helps is constant stretching.  Having said that it doesn’t matter if I rest my arm/shoulder or exercise it nothing seems to make a difference.  I find it’s a constant reminder which doesn’t help my anxiety/depression. I can’t forget about it even for a little while.  Take care of yourself xx  ... View more

I had my mastectomy in April 2019, no chemo or radiotherapy but have had constant tightness and pain ever since. I did the exercises right from the beginning and carried on for over a year, my surgeon had me lifting my arm above my head as soon as I came round to ensure full use of my arm but i still have tightness and pain in my chest. I’ve had physio, did more exercises, massage but nothing has got rid of it. I mentioned it to the surgeon at my last check up and because I don’t take painkillers for it as it isn’t unbearable (nothing really helps and I’d have to take them all the time which I don’t want) he was very dismissive and told me if I stop worrying it will stop hurting! I feel like I’ve come to the end of the road after a comment like that and won’t be going back. I am on the list for recon (different surgeon and hospital to the cancer doc) so things might improve after that but im trying to be realistic.  If you haven’t been referred for physio it is worth trying because it helped reduce some of the problems I was having xx  ... View more

Hi Evie-S thank you for your lovely reply. Your explanation of how to work through counselling is a good one. I think when I started I thought I would be told what I had to do, what I should focus on and I’d come out the other side as I was pre cancer. I realise now that isn’t the case but I have to work through it all and go back to things that happened in the past.  I think when you’re still struggling it feels like you’re on you’re own, that no one else feels like this. I know for many they’re able to work through it all and start to move on. I don’t feel as if anything has changed in 2 years and because my treatment didn’t involve chemo/rads, how I feel is out of proportion. I posted when I was feeling really down and just needed to hear how others were coping.  I have spoken to a lovely lady from Someone Like Me who was brilliant and helped a lot. I think I just need to try to keep things in proportion and eventually things will improve. Thank you for your help and advice it really helps xx  ... View more

Hi, thank you for your lovely reply. It’s helped a huge amount, like you say just knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this.  I did see a physio, about 18 months ago and it helped a lot with the nerve pain and tightness. I was also offered acupuncture as there is one area that just didn’t improve. Unfortunately the acupuncture didn’t help either. When I had my check up last September with the cancer doctor I asked about the pain again as i can’t help worrying about it sometimes but as I don’t need/want to take painkillers (it’s bearable) he wasn’t interested. He actually told me to stop worrying about it and it will stop hurting! It’s just a constant reminder of what I’ve had done.  The counsellor talks about grief and I think a lot of how I feel is exactly that. It all happened so quick, I just couldn’t talk about it to friends and family and the op not going to plan has definitely made it harder to cope with.  Thank you again xx  ... View more

I not sure I’ve achieved that yet and I’m nearly 2 years post treatment.  I think it just takes time, you’ve been through a lot and it’s important not to try to bury that as it has an awful habit of returning when you least expect it.  Im speaking to a counsellor and learning how to sit with the emotions and to acknowledge them rather than try to ignore how I feel or I thinking I should be doing better than I am. It’s not easy though. Someone recommended the Cancer Survivors Companion by Lucy Atkins which I found really useful after treatment ended. I hope some others come along and share what’s helped them xx  ... View more

Hi Ruby & Delly,  thank you for your lovely replies. You’re right I know that I don’t think it will ever leave me but I’m glad things will eventually be easier.  im so glad that your lives have moved on so positively, that’s really wonderful to hear. I had the mammogram but still waiting on my result which I’m taking as good news. I think I would’ve heard sooner if it was anything else.  thank you again xx  ... View more

Hi Ruby 1  I’ve only just come across your post and would like to thank you for sharing how you’re doing now. I’m just coming up to 2 years post diagnosis and have my annual mammogram next week. To say post treatment I haven’t coped is an understatement. I only had a mastectomy but my recon didn’t go to plan and I’m on the waiting list for a tug flap. What I found interesting is that you said you still think about it everyday. I’m exactly the same and have tried hard to put it out of my mind but it’s impossible. I wondered how long it was that you felt more at peace with what you had been through?  Thank you again for posting x  ... View more

Hi MoDo,  I’m so sorry you’re still struggling after treatment. From what you’ve said it sounds as though you went through a dreadful and traumatic experience. It feels very lonely feeling like you do and I’m glad you’re having counselling.  Im 18 months post treatment and just cannot move on. I’m struggling with depression and waiting to have recon. Nothing has ended for me and I’ve no idea when it will. I’m having counselling which is slow progress but I’m glad to have someone to talk to. I wish there was something I could say that would change things for you except to say that you’re doing the very best you can for now and that’s all you can do. Keep talking and try to be kind to yourself, take care xx    ... View more

Really pleased everything is ok, hope you’re feeling a little better xx  ... View more

Hi  I’m sorry you’re feeling like you do, it’s so tough post treatment isn’t it? I wish I could come up with a solution to help you but it sounds like you’re doing everything you can for now. Was your BCN there at the appointment? Was you able to talk to her?  I’m 18 months post treatment and feel very similar to how you describe which no one around me understands. I’ve still got pain from surgery and follow up appointments were cancelled. I’ve finally got one for Friday.  I find just keeping busy, plodding on helps to get through the day for now. I’m having counselling which is helping but it’s going to take time.  Sorry I’m not helping but I didn’t want to read and not reply. I just wanted to say that you’re not alone and that I hope youre worrying for nothing over the mammogram. Take care xx  ... View more

Hi  ive been taking Letrozole for a year and have a variety of side effects, the worst by far are headaches. I usually wake up with it, it doesn’t go and the pain is relentless. I also have joint pain and numbness in my feet. It’s a weird feeling, a bit like I’ve walked miles and miles but I haven’t. I wasn’t really sure what it was and hadn’t thought it could be nerve damage which is quite worrying.  I cant change to tamoxifen as I’ve had 2 DVT’s in the past but I hope it’s kinder to you than the Letrozole xx  ... View more

Hi Sonia,  I'm sorry you haven’t had any further replies. I do think that as people start to move forward they use the support forums less.  I’m struggling to move on just yet as I’ve found the emotions post treatment very difficult. People mention PTSD and I think that’s a good description but in a mild form. At times I feel numb about things and others I’m as upset as I was going through treatment.  Ive started talking to a counsellor again which I think will take some time but feel it will help. Straight after treatment I thought I should be back to normal and rushed into everything, counselling, courses etc almost to prove to myself and others I was trying everything I could to get over it. Needless to say it didn’t work as I wasn’t ready.  I met a lovely lady at a Moving Forward course, 8 weeks post treatment who told me this was too soon. She was over 12 months post treatment. She kept telling me to put everything on hold for a year as I wasn’t ready, how right she was!!  That could be very true for you too. The shock and enormity of it can hit at any time and perhaps some help would be what you need for now.  Take care of yourself xx   ... View more

Hi Sonia,  i haven’t got any reassuring stories I can tell you as I’m 13 months on from treatment but didn’t want to pass by without commenting.  I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this, it’s hard trying to move on. Unfortunately I don’t think anyone is the same after a cancer diagnosis and stories in the media seem to be everywhere. I wish there were more success stories to reinforce how far treatment has come and that many women never encounter cancer again.  When you finished treatment did you have any support? It sounds like you’re struggling with what happened and wondered if you had had any counselling? If you did you could always go back to it. Alternatively the nurses at Breast Cancer Now are fantastic to talk to. They would understand how you’re feeling and be able to give you support/reassurance you need.  I hope you hear from others who are further down the line to give you the help you need xx  ... View more

Hi im sorry that you’re going through this and while so young, it’s a huge shock, not just for you but your friends and family.  I think most people who have gone through this have a story of friends that just wasn’t there for them while others they didn’t know that well stepped up and were amazing.  Some people just don’t know what to say or how deal with hearing you have cancer. I felt just the same so didn’t  understand why they treated me differently. The most hurtful was people not saying anything at all. My husband’s family never called or asked how I was doing even when visiting and I didn’t bring it up as I didn’t really know how to so it just got ignored.  On the opposite of that, one friend who I’ve known for years but not been very close to was amazing. My husband had to go away the weekend before my surgery and I was in a pretty bad way at that point. My friend came and stayed and was a massive support that by the time she left I felt I could cope with what was coming. She’s listened to me so many times without judgement, just understanding and kindness and I couldn’t have coped without her.  I hope once your friends have got over the shock they come through for you just give them a little time.  Good luck with all your treatment xx  ... View more

Hi Becky, im glad your meeting went well and you’re happy to have a plan. Just a thought, is there any Lea way if you find it a struggle? It sounds quite quick for a phased return as others have said how tiring they’ve found it going back especially after radiotherapy. Perhaps having that as a proviso might help so that you’re not putting yourself under too much pressure.  If your boss genuinely doesn’t understand why you need a phased return perhaps explain about exhaustion/fatigue which can become debilitating for a long time after. It can build up even after treatment has finished. I’m sure there’s plenty on the breast cancer now sure about it.  Min glad you’re taking the nurses’ advice and I hope you get plenty of rest and relaxation xx  ... View more

Aww Becky I know that feeling. I had to have monthly meetings with my boss which I found very daunting. I’m sure it won’t be as you imagine, they’ll just want to support you.  Ive found my confidence/self esteem has completely gone since my op not that I had a huge amount before it. It’s very early still for you and a lot of adjusting, understanding, accepting and a bit of grieving is yet to be done. I really didn’t understand all this a year ago and if I could pass anything on to you is to be kind to yourself. I know I’ve made myself worse by struggling with guilt and frustration. Good luck lovey, I’d love to know how it goes xx  ... View more