Breast Cancer Care Forum

Hi Cambo55 im sorry you’re still struggling with the after effects and pain. I didn’t have radiotherapy so can’t offer any help but im sure someone will come along soon who can.  I can sympathise with the discomfort laying down as I can’t lay on my mastectomy side a year on.  Its still very early after your treatment has finished so your body is needing lots of rest to recover. If you’re able to rest do so when you need to and hopefully things will improve.  Take care xx  ... View more

Hi Kezzybear68,  i haven’t got much to add to the excellent replies you’ve had from Jaybro & Evie but just to reassure you you’re not alone.  I can look back to a post a year ago, being the same as you approx 3-4 weeks post treatment feeling absolutely dreadful asking why aren’t I back to normal yet? I’ve had my op, I don’t need anymore treatment, I’m so lucky but I can’t stop crying?? Family and friends felt the same but i hadn’t told them how I felt so it’s not surprising they didn’t realise.  Of course I’m lucky my treatment was quick and I’m ok but having cancer, a mastectomy and a failed reconstruction isn’t. I wish I could say everything is good now but it’s taking a long time to process what has happened and on good days I understand that but on others it feels very difficult.  Give yourself time and patience and you’ll get there, sending love and kindness to you xx    jaybro & Evie, you always give such great advice and I just wanted to thank you both for that xx  ... View more

Hi murphsmum,  I’m sorry your friend has let you down. Unfortunately it happens so often. My best friend of 50 years has completely let me down. Like your friend we’ve always kept in touch but life and families have sometimes stopped us getting together as much as we’d like. She lives about 30 mins away from me. I had my mastectomy in April last year which didn’t all go to plan. I saw her 3 weeks later when she visited. She’s the only person who has noticeably stared at my chest which shocked me but I was pleased to see her. I was very upset at the time and cried a lot during the afternoon. She left saying she’d come and see me again soon. The next I heard from her was my birthday in July just a text to say happy birthday. The next time she contacted me was 2 weeks ago and was shocked that I’m not back to normal yet! I wasn’t angry but I was honest about how the last 12 months have been for me and she did apologise for not keeping in touch. Whether that changes I’ll wait and see!  You learn who your friends are quite quickly and those who haven’t been there for me I don’t want to waste me time with.  ... View more

Hi Jane,  ive been taking alendronic acid for approx 8 months and haven’t had any problems so far. My gp said to take it on the same day every week, with a pint of water, on an empty stomach and stay upright for at least 30 minutes.  It is important to stay upright and it was recommended that I had a dental check up before I started them.  I’m sorry you’ve been diagnosed with osteoporosis but I hope you get on ok with the tablets xx    ... View more

Hi Daffodil  yes unfortunately it’s very normal to still have some pain/discomfort after 3 weeks. Having the lymph nodes removed can take some time to recover from on its own. The op involves going through the nerves which cause some very strange sensations as they heal.  If you’re worried about how your feeling give your BCN a call to check.  Keep doing the exercises you’ve been given as they will help in the long term.  Take care xx  ... View more

Hi Suki301,  Just wanted to say I’m really sorry a difficult and stressful time is being made worse by having your op cancelled several times. I hope you’ve got your friends and family supporting you,  take care lovey  lucy xx ... View more

Hi Daffodil,  I want to send you a huge gentle hug lovey, I can imagine that was quite a shock for you. I hope you’ve got your family and friends around you giving you lots of love and support, especially as you’re still recovering from the mastectomy. My diagnosis was quite different from yours so can’t give any advice but no doubt lots of lovely ladies on here will be able to help.  Let us know how the scan goes, I’ll be thinking of you hoping it’s good news.  Best wishes Lucy xx  ... View more

Hi  Please don’t think you’re thick, no one knows this stuff until you go through it. I was given a description at diagnosis of the cancer I had but it was confirmed after my op when everything had been tested. I was sent a letter from the oncologist confirming everything as well.  Hopefully on your follow up you’ll be told but be sure to ask as it’s important to know what you’ve actually had.  I hope it’s all good news when you go back, take care xx  ... View more

Hi unfortunately it is very common and as Pawsome has said quite likely because your friend doesn’t know what else to say. It’s hard because what you really need is someone to listen and understand. Having a mastectomy is a huge thing what ever age you are and her comments belittle what you’ve been through.  I had a mastectomy, my recon couldn’t be completed and a reduction on my good side which was very difficult but made worse by the reduction being smaller than I was expecting. I felt like I’d lost everything and a few weeks later whilst trying to open up and tell my good friend, I was told welcome to my world I’ve never had very much. That really hurt. It made everything I was feeling and thinking seem trivial and that I was making too much of it. It was very early on and I really didn’t comprehend what I was going through.  My friend is still my friend, in lots of ways she’s been fantastic and I think she’s learned along the way how hard this is although I’ve never mentioned how that comment made me feel.  Youll soon discover who you can talk to and who you can’t. As pawsome said some friends disappear completely and others you don’t know that well suddenly step up and you find the support from someone you least expected it from. I have an amazing friend who completely understands and why even a year on things are still very difficult.  If it’s really hurt you you could try to tell her how you’re feeling and that it upset you or just let it go and mark it up to thoughtlessness.  Its early days and emotions are pretty high right now so I hope you’re ok and you recover quickly. Take good care of yourself, that’s the most important thing xx  ... View more

i found it very strange just after I had mine but even then it was brushed off. Some of the pain was really strange and it would’ve been much more helpful if someone just explained it to me then I wouldn’t have worried so much.    As the months went on new pains and sensations started which just got worse so I did go back and was given some desensitisation massage to do. It’s way to early for you to do that yet. If it’s worrying  you tho give your BCN a call. I hope you’re ok xx  ... View more

Hi  im sorry you’ve got some pain post op. I had a mastectomy, no implant, a year ago and still have a lot of pain. 2 weeks is very early so not surprising you have some discomfort but during the op the surgeon has to go through a lot of nerves so may continue for some time. Nerve pain is very common and if it increases contact your BCN for help in dealing with that.  I hope your recovery continues well take care xx  ... View more

Hi MoDo I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time, you’ve been through a huge amount. A cancer diagnosis and losing a parent are 2 massive life changing events which are going to take time and care to come to terms with. I’m glad you recognise you have depression and you’re seeing your GP.    You haven’t said when you started the antidepressants but I hope they start to help soon. Have you got any support from family around you?  I can sympathise so much with how you’re feeling and I would say I’m very depressed. I haven’t coped with any of it and as I’m coming up to a year since my mastectomy things are very difficult. I’ve spent most of today crying and feeling very distraught. I was supposed to have reconstruction but it failed and am still waiting to see what I can do next. I, like you struggle to understand why I’m not back to normal and find it hard seeing friends because they’ve all moved on, after all I’m better aren’t I? Side effects from treatment can be debilitating which isn’t going to help how you feel either. Would you benefit from some counselling?   I recently was referred to the Someone Like Me service by one of the nurses on the support line. I’ve been matched with a lovely lady who has been through a similar experience as me. She calls at a pre arranged time, as often as I would like. We’ve talked about how I’m coping and a few times she’s said what she felt at the same time and I’ve felt the same but hadn’t told anyone, mainly as I thought I was the only one.    Im in no way better and at times things feel harder than ever but just knowing that I’m not alone, someone understands really helps.  I wish I could help you but just to say I understand and you’re not alone  xx    ... View more

Hi Helly,  at the moment I’m doing exactly as you describe sitting on the settee reading the forum instead of other stuff! Like you I get up get on with jobs etc but if I sit for a min I grind to a holt. I focus on the important stuff, jobs etc but anything else I don’t have the motivation to do. I didn’t have chemo or rads so I can’t put it down to that but am on Letrozole.    I don’t sleep a lot so am probably a bit tired but I’m pretty depressed so its likely to be that. I have days when I don’t feel very down but don’t want to do very much, socialise, don’t have any energy and I struggle to concentrate on anything. I really have to force myself to do things so I’ve started yoga, volunteering and learning how to quilt but i could just do nothing!   I think from the outside people think I’m ok but inside I’m still trying to deal with everything that happened and am still waiting on recon so not all over yet. My treatment finished last May. You say you’re only 3 months on from rads which really isn’t very long at all. You’re probably still struggling with fatigue etc so perhaps rest is what your body is telling you you need.  If I could give you any advice set yourself just small things at first and see how it goes, sending you lots of love xx  ... View more

Hi Evie-S & Jubelu    Evie, thank you for your reply, I will definitely keep you in mind going forward.    I saw my GP this morning about some side effects from the hormone therapy and told her how I’m feeling. Again she’s reassured me it’s all normal (I seem to need constant reassurance). After, I saw my friend that came with me last week just to talk over some of what had been discussed. Sometimes when you’re going over stuff on your own things multiply and I needed someone else’s perspective. We had a really good talk including what she thought about how i look now, what would she do etc and it really helped. So for a while I feel better but unfortunately that doesn’t last for long!  I hope you’re both having a good day  and thank you again xx  ... View more

Hi Jubelu,  im crying again!! Been a very tearful day but reading your reply made my cry as I recognise so much of how you’re feeling.  I too was a DD and now an A and yes the loss of sensation is devastating.  Ive has some counselling with a charity but I don’t think it has helped that much. I felt a bit ‘talked out’ when that finished so don’t feel ready to start again but will do at some point.  The best description I can give to how I feel is consumed by grief and all the things I’ve coped with in the past have come back at me. Some days I find the smallest things so difficult to do.  I’ve got good friends & family around me but everyone wants to tell me how to fix me. I wish I had the friend who just listens and is just with me.  I would love to know how you get on and just want to send you a huge hug xx  ... View more

Hi  I’m still bogged down in the grief of post treatment and hope for recon at the moment but on a small scale I can empathise. im not going back to my job, they’ve given me no support whatsoever and slowly I’m learning I don’t have to do what I don’t want to any more. I know I’m very lucky that for now I can stop working and not worry (I will worry I’ve never not worked!).  Ive lived my life always doing what I ‘should’ do, being reliable, dependable, being there for everyone etc but not always doing what has made me happy. For now my priority is getting myself better emotionally and then I’ll be working out what I want to do that makes me happy. I hope that’s with my husband but if he’s not interested I’ll go ahead anyway.    Rockstarchick, don’t sit and wait, book the trip, find the opportunity and if hubby wants to join in, brilliant and if not make sure you send him a postcard. Look forward to hearing about it  xx  ... View more

Hi Jubelu, thank you so much for replying, I’m so grateful to read someone else’s perspective.  Ive thought about nothing else for a week and as I haven’t got anyone to talk it over with (who knows what all this is like) I’ve got myself very upset about it all.  I cant believe what that surgeon has put you through, that must be malpractice surely? To do a reduction with little to no discussion is just terrible. My surgeon did discuss it thoroughly but I’ve ended up smaller than I thought. I know its ridiculous but I’ve struggled as much with that as I have everything else. I can’t complain, he’s done a very good job, everything is very neat and only looking closely can you tell but going from a large chest to how I am now is very hard.  Since finding out I needed surgery etc all I’ve heard is bad news about implants and if I’m honest I really don’t want one.  I have thought exactly the same as you regarding another surgery. I’ve had 3 others non cancer related and always coped but haven’t said it to anyone as I know they think I’m mad. I really felt I was being pushed to do nothing and accept how I am. I don’t know whether that’s because at my age and just being pretty ordinary they’re wondering why I’m bothering, which I’ve questioned too. I think I’m very realistic and realise they won’t match and I won’t be the same but I won’t have what I have now which I find very hard to deal with.  I was offered the Diep as immediate recon but was warned that it may not be offered for delayed. Shortly after the funding was cut so only offered on immediate recon. With the TUG flap there maybe a problem but if I decide on that I’ll see what happens.  I really hope you get the Diep even if you have to travel so far for it. I ended up with the tummy tuck & huge scar but the recovery really wasn’t bad. My advice would be to do very little for at least 2 weeks after to really give it time to heal.    Thank you again for replying, it’s really helped me, bless you xx  ... View more

Hi Curlylocks,  it isn’t for everyone. How are you feeling now? Hope things have improved for you  xx ... View more

Hi curlylocks, the last thing you are is a loser so please don’t think that. You’ve been through a very difficult traumatic experience which you’re still dealing with. Now having this hanging over you, you’re right back where you were.  Yes there’s people who ‘seem’ to breeze through it but I doubt they do.   I’m one year since diagnosis tomorrow and I haven’t coped with any of it at all. I’ve felt like you do, haven’t understood why I couldn’t cope and am still really hard on myself because of it but it doesn’t help. I really believe that at some point dealing with what you’ve been through catches up with you and I’m sure those who appear to cope will have it all to deal with at some point.    Did you have any counselling after treatment ended? It’s not too late to see someone now as it sounds like you need someone to talk to who understands. I hope you’re ok hun, happy to chat if you need to xx  ... View more