Hi Drummer. I know it sounds cliched, but I feel your pain ... as will most women who have been through this process. I am a few weeks ahead of you in terms of having a treatment plan etc, but the best 'advice' I can give you right now is to try to find some way of living with uncertainty. Easier said than done, but I am learning that (at least for me), just when you think you've got your head around everything, the goalposts can get moved - sometimes for the good & other times, not. Some people deal better with the unknown than others, but many of us like to have an element of control in our lives. Any life changing diagnosis can rob you of that ... if we let it. It's going to be a roller coaster, but do you know what would help you feel more in control? What support you need to get through the inevitable troughs? For me, I needed to arm myself with as much information as possible. The amount of information offered after initial diagnosis can be overwhelming & it didn't mean by much to me without a clear diagnosis, but once that became clearer, I found facts somehow reassuring. They gave me something concrete to focus on; though as I said previously, the goalposts can move rapidly & I was totally unprepared for that. Lets face it, you are very young to be facing this. Are there any support groups/ forums for younger women out there? In my sixties, I get that some of the issues will be very different. A lot will also depend on your personal circumstances, where you are in your life, what your dreams & aspirations are (& how they could be affected), support networks you have and if this directly impact on anyone else in your life? So many questions buzzing around in our heads. All very overwhelming. One thing is for sure, you can't do this on your own & it's okay to be scared, to struggle, to be angry. You have taken a big step in reaching out to this forum - keep doing it. Yes, we must become more resilient & find ways of dealing with our new reality, but we won't find all of the necessary resources within ourselves ... we need to borrow strength from others, when we can't find it within. You've probably heard of Mindfulness? Popular at the moment, so it should be easy to find a 6-8 week introductory course somewhere near you? At its best, it is a very simple tool for dealing with uncertainty, anxiety & other complex emotions. It may not be your thing, so keep searching for the thing that is a good 'fit' for you. Would be be happy to share more if it would help, though I do recognise we are at very different life stages. Be kind to yourself xxx
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