Breast Cancer Now Forum

Absolutely Jill, the rows of chairs full of people contemplating their fate are not conducive to wellbeing.  I have sent constructive feedback to my health trust today. Envious of the toasted teacakes.  ... View more

My day. Positive, gentle start. Then what seemed like a passive-aggressive text from a colleague, saying I should be "far more grateful to be alive". Believe me I'm grateful! Conversation with boss next, he's OK. Then guilt trip that I'm off work. Because the myth is once your treatment is over, you are fine.  Early night aborted due to hysterical sobbing. Cup of tea has calmed me down, but looks like I'm in for another long night. Thankful there is a pile of books in reach.  Thank you Cancer, (not)  you have rocked my world!  ... View more

Hi darling. You do know you are protected by the Disability Discrimination Act, because of you having cancer.  X ... View more

Totally get this! Thank the lord someone else does too.  Thanks for reply. X ... View more

Hi, not all health trusts operate the same, but you should be able to call in at your radiotherapy unit to be checked by a nurse who will give you appropriate ointments and dressings- there are great cool-gel dressings if the soreness feels 'burny'. And I take it you know no hot baths/ showers, nothing perfumed, no deodorant and no clothing which causes friction. Quite a list but I had problems and stuck to all they advised and it did settle down. Hope this helps and you're not in too much pain. ... View more

Hi Naomi, bless you sweetheart. Of course it's OK to post on here, the whole point of  the forum is support from other BC ladies. Although I don't have children, I did exactly the same as you, in that I made sure someone knew where my will is and I wrote out an 'essay' of who I bank with etc. I seriously considered appointing a power of attorney and even looked into purchasing a grave. I was petrified and panic stricken as my GP had told me to "prepare for the worst". I was too shocked to question exactly what she meant; I just bolted. Was it an OTT reaction?  Looking back now it looks that way, but at the time it seemed completely logical to me. So I fully understand, even though we have come from different perspectives. I hope your treatment is going well, and is not too hard on you. And you are having a lovely weekend with your kiddies. Wonky x ... View more

For those interested in this thread. Possibly we can give each other 'Christmas Gifts Of Inspiration'. A kind of an Advent Card ? (I apologise for any offence to anyone of Different Belief; join in to share your thoughts, from your own perspective! ) . Hope and joy to all for this December Wonky. X       ... View more

I'd recommend looking up the poem Jaybro has referenced, if you feel you are 'wearing a mask' to protect others from your cancer.  ... View more

Hi, I really admire your tenacity and courage, but a couple of thoughts on what you asked. Your body has been through a lot and I'd suggest you need to watch you aren't pushing yourself too hard. The rads are killing good cells in your body, as well as any stray cancer cells, so you'll not have the normal physical reserves and you are possibly 'running on adrenalin'. Also,you are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act, so you have rights, work-wise. Your boss sounds very empathetic and supportive and possibly is concerned you are pushing yourself too hard, so rather than be seen to be 'trying to prove a point' maybe you should accept what help he is offering?  He may also be concerned that you could take ill at work, pass out or such like, which wouldn't be a good thing for you, or him. Also, just bear in mind if you gave the impression of being stubborn, inflexible or irresponsible, it could actually go against you, more than accepting the help he's offered. I'd say give him a bell and have a candid chat to come to a compromise. I'd also add that if your rads team have shown any concern, rather than passing surprise, that you are working, you should heed that they have broached the subject with you. as chances are they are discretely monitoring your general health and well-being, not just your boob. All this said, a lot possibly hangs on how you feel emotionally; if you are coping that's great, but you need to be honest with yourself. That's not giving in, it's just being pragmatic. Hug, Wonky ... View more

Hey Mini M. Thank you for such a frank and interesting post, the more the better!  Just what the doctor ordered! Had messages from friends today on lines of 'bikini time girl" ....um,  no not allowed for a year. You mention Christmas, ooh, do you know what girl, you may have given a gift to many with that.  Going to have a think about a Christmas thread which perhaps like-minded will enjoy. Salute you Mini. Wonks. X @jaybro as she will appreciate.  ... View more

Wise words from Jaybro and Evie. We are all experiencing our own versions of 'a living hell'. With greatest respect for and thanks for their posts love to all. Wonky.  ... View more

Thanks Anniej. You talk so much sense.  Books are such great solice, for sure. Very grateful. PM ? Wonky x  ... View more

Hi Sharon, I hope you got there in one piece! Two weeks post-rads I can report things are settling down really well. It looks like a pickled walnut, but not bothered about that! Was advised to go without a bra as no friction and as very small in the boob dept, took that advise and think it was useful. Weening off diprobase now and upping the Aveeno which smells lovely and is on offer in Tesco ( it's amongst the baby stuff). Hope this helps. ... View more

Hi Simi, it's so tough; I know. I'm through 'active treatment' now, but the rads have wiped me out and yes, we all have minds needing healing also! That's possibly harder than the physical treatment as it does seem we are 'dispatched' from the system, to get on with it! Awful that your kiddies can't cuddle you without you fliching; we all get used to giving these 'half-hugs' don't we. Jaybro is very astute in these matters; I'm a bit of a lightweight, but if PMing helps, that's fine. I'd be interested to read other replies to your thread, but sadly majority scan the forum, but don't actively participate. I think your raising the psychological after -effects is very valid and welcome. I just wish more ladies would share their thoughts. Best wishes, Wonky x ... View more

Hi Leonie. Could you explain a little bit more about these NICE guidelines please? I was under the impression I had no chance of NHS surgery to even me up and would be so costly to go private.  ... View more

Hi Jaybro (Jan), wise words likely to be helpful to anyone browsing the forum. Baby Steps seem sensible, Rome wasn't (re) built in a day, and we have all had , or are having, a life-changing experience. I find it interesting that there are proportionately far fewer postings in the 'Moving On' section on the forum, than elsewhere. It makes perfect sense girls have had enough after the gruelling treatment, but I maintain that NHS/ Cancer Charities, platitudes by way of encouraging us to concentrate on our physical appearance are simply that and there is a void 'at end of active treatment', which needs urgently addressing with something more tangible than a bell to ring. If you think about it, the bell was possibly introduced on the basis that 'something is better than nothing', to deal with a problem (impact post-treatment) which NHS simply do not have the resources to address. Come on other ladies out there ( on here) be brave and post your thoughts; they might just make a difference as without doubt the moderators on here liaise with NHS and other interested parties. Girls, you may no longer have a boob, but you still have a voice. There is so much which can be done to give 360 degree support, I think things are certainly moving in the right direction, but there is still a long way to go. Moderators- are there BC patient/ practitioner events for purpose of gradual improvements to the non-medical progress? Wonky.  ... View more