Ladies, thanks for all your input. First up I would never try to influence anyone else’s decisions about treatment and I respect everyone’s views. However, I decided last week, to give myself a little break from the Tam. I have no idea how quickly it depletes in ones ‘system’, but I am feeling better than I have in a very long time. Maybe it’s psychological (I feel like I have some control, maybe) but I certainly feel I have more energy and less anxiety. Plus the night sweats are dropping off, which is a joy in itself. I still have wacky sleep patterns, but have had a couple of brilliant nights sleep - woken up feeling really good. As said, this is quite possibly all in my imagination, but certainly something seems different. I don’t advocate ‘googling’ but tonight I did and that actually led me to an article on here (Breast Cancer Now) about drop out rates, which if you chose to find it, you can draw your own conclusions from. As PJWWOO says, how bleepy awful this disease is hard to put into words. It’s SO TOUGH, and I don’t have kids/family feelings to factor in. I’m going to keep going with my (personal) experiment a little while longer. Yes, absolutely I am probably playing with fire, but at this stage I’m pretty convinced quality of life is trumping the worry of chances of recurrence. I’m always going to worry it will come back (does anyone not?) but I think I’d prefer to take my chances, if my old frame of mind has miraculously returned all of a sudden. Please be assured that I’m not dissing anyone on here, I know many of you have had it far worse than me in many ways. Maybe it’s not a great topic to start a thread on, but I do appreciate having somewhere to ‘think outloud’ . Dawn soon and I’ll be outside wrapped up, with a mug of tea, looking at the hills I can see from my garden (they look beautiful at first light) and listening to the birds waking up. Followed by some more (long overdue) weeding. Wishing everyone a good day. Wonky xxx
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