Breast Cancer Care Forum

Had a call from hospital today to say I don't , afterall , need a bone scan. I was "proper and polite". The caller made no attempt to apologise for her colleague putting me through this additional and unnecessary worry, so I stand by my original post!  ... View more

Thanks Nettie. Go Girl! X  ... View more

If you 'drill back', you can see this particular post attracted 166 'Views' and to date 8 responses, which include me a 2nd/ 3rd time around.  To my mind, there are women out there who have very valid comments and experiences, but just don't, or won't post their thoughts., depriving others of their all important insight.  ... View more

Ladies, this post and the original one, may seem provocative, but the core purpose is the more open dialogue the better. If you ever run down the list of postings, you may have noticed that some get hundreds of 'reads', yet very few responses. That may be because the topic is irrelevant to you, or it may be because you are 'too proper and polite' to post a reply. I am not advocating bad language or disrespect to anyone ( I do advocate humour)  however the impact of diagnosis, treatment and what follows could be far better understood by this charity, if more people gave their thoughts, rather than using this site in a purely voyeuristic way.  The proof of the pudding awaits me x     ... View more

Ladies you have cheered me up! Kaggy your Mum sounds like the 'da bad ass mama' and made of stronger stuff than me. To be honest I'm not actually sure what a 'ninja turtle' is but I raise a flipper in salute to her and all ladies on here who see the point I am trying to make. Wonky x     ... View more

Wowza. Maybe we should create a ninja army of bad-ass-bc- girls! Seriously though lovely Anniej, moderators would give us short shrift if we went OTT.  But, to test the waters (following another day of disbelief) ..     what the f, diddy f happened to me six months ago. Love your reply; so candid and honest. Hug x  ... View more

Good to know that pain is not necessarily something to worry about but is simply 'part & parcel' of the experience. It is serious surgery.  ... View more

Here is a good place MHaz.  Keep posting; others will join in supporting you. You have a hug from me.  ... View more

My 'assigned' BCN retired the day before my treatment began, so the support I was given reason to expect was gone almost immediately. Think would have been a very different 'journey' if I had had the BCN support I was promised by the surgeon at point of diagnosis. NHS cuts? Or simply lack of nurses who want to take on the challenge of the role?  ... View more

Hi, I just wanted to share my experience on thus subject. I was invited to discuss a prosthesis when I felt the time was right, so I made am appointment and trundeled off to the Breast Clinic last week. Although I have the outcome - a filler to even me up - the experience wasn't what I imagined considering all the encouragement to "move on" and "be positive" we receive. The nurse seemed very inexperienced and seemingly trying to avoid anything to do with my breast and purpose of visit. I was asked to complete a questionnaire on how I was 'coping' physchologically and practically. Which was then used as a tool to dispense umpteen leaflets on Look Good Feel Better etc. This is all very lovely but it starts to feel like lip service after a while. I said I was hopeful she would take a look at my breast, check healing after rads etc, but she didn't have the slightest interest. Eventually she fetched the box of sample prosthesis and set to work shoving them into my bra to the point I was wincing with pain. As regards the two inch difference in nipple height, she simply tightened the bra **bleep** the good side so tightly it practically sliced my shoulder in two. To be honest I think I will fair better on my own. At one point she blurted out ( and then quickly back tracked) that I had "only" had a lumpectomy, which probably explains the lack of empathy. So it seems good and bad experiences exist on this front. ... View more

You will do her proud as you are being so caring ( and sensible)  in your approach. She is a very lucky lady to have you at her side. Sincerely tip my hat to you. Hug x ... View more

What a lovely and thoughtful post. Love your term "Ned is your friend".  I am just emerging from five months of diagnosis/treatment. Without doubt the most challenging thing I have ever experienced. When you are in the midst of breast cancer treatment it can seem impossible to believe there is anything good to aim for, but it is out there and you just need to keep the windscreen wipers going until you spot something on the horizon to aim for.    ... View more

Hi Jaxjo. What an amazing friend you are being! Everyone with BC is unique in how they feel and cope. But this is my perspective as someone recently through diagnosis/treatment/ the emotions:- 1. Stay away from 'popular cancer language', such as "fighting", unless she is clearly taking something from that sort of thing. If she isn't there is nothing worse than being encouraged to " fight" when it is the last thing on your mind. 2. Try to encourage humour, be it slapstick or dark. Take your cue from her on this. 3. Try not to go into obvious overdrive with practical help, she may feel she has just lost entire control of her life and she needs time to think things through. My advice is simply say "once you figure out what will help best, tell me". Her answer may be far away from what you are considering. 4. Keep away from Doctor Google. 5. She may feel 'disconnected' from life; hold her hand. 6. Hold off on the urge to send flowers, chocolates etc. Regular tiny gestures over the months to come will add up to more for her than extravagance at the start. 7. Don't nag. Fussing about diet, exercise for instance. Yes later you can support on such, but she has enough challenges without adding more.   Hope this helps.  ... View more

Hi Dove. You have some really good responses as regards practical tips, but I think we have possibly shortchanged you on the sort of 'moral - support' you logged on to find. So can I guess? You are scared, anxious, feeling unhinged? By this point in time you should be home after your op and hopefully getting a lot of rest and minimal pain.  You are not alone darling. X ... View more