Hi there MC22, and a massive well done for getting to dose number 4. A notification of Your message popped up in my emails and I’ve just read through our messages back in early January. You’re right the steroids cause insomnia but that will right itself once you stop taking them. I also piled on a stone in weight thanks to them too!!! And right Now I’m awake early because of the hot flushes!!!! I’ve started on tamoxifen for 10 years!!! Hey ho could be worse!!! So right now you will be feeling beyond terrible but let me just say that it does get better. Right now you will not think so as you have that horrible yet amazing stuff circulating through your body but it is now 3 months since my last dose and I am just starting to feel more like my normal self. My skin is less dry, my hair is really making a come back, I can almost have a bad hair day again, my energy levels are starting to improve. I’ve had to try really hard to be patient and let my body recover. I’m not the sit around doing nothing type but the fatigue has been really quite bad. The fatigue is a side effect of the radiotherapy too but the radiotherapy was a breeze compared to chemo. Non invasive, no needles, no major side effects (fatigue and a bit of sore skin like sun burn) and there was a bowl of sweets at reception with my favourite butter mints in!!! I also mastered su doku in the waiting room over the 4 weeks I had radiotherapy!!! This Coronavirus is not what you need on top of the stress of it all. I really do feel for you. I was just arranging going back to work in the next few weeks so was going to get my immune system checked to be on the safe side but I work in a school so that has taken the pressure off returning to work for the foreseeable as it is shutting on Friday. I have technically been self isolating since October so this is just a continuation for me and I am lucky that I live in the middle of nowhere with a field full of horses to keep me busy!!!! Please please please make sure you look after number one and keep yourself isolated whilst your body is so vulnerable. I never thought I would be in the vulnerable category but it is very real and makes you sit up and take notice of the seriousness of it all. With regard to your friends and family I felt the same way not wanting to add to their stress and anxiety whilst I tried to reach my decision. But they are there for you every step of the way. They will support you no matter what you decide. They just want you to be ok and they will do whatever they can to help. They can take the extra pressure and you will love them forever for their amazing support. Again a massive well done for pushing yourself this far with the chemo, you have done amazing. Just stay focused and grit your teeth one last time through these initial days while you get it out of your system. You’ve done it. You’ve faced all of those fears. For me, 3months on, I can safely say I feel like I’m getting my life back. Looking back at our messages has made me realise how my mindset has changed for the better. And you will bounce back too. The anxiety will subside and your thoughts won’t be dominated by this awful thing, you will start to plan nice things, normal things, and once this virus is under control you will be ready to get back out there and live your life. in the meantime though please stay locked away and be kind to yourself (lots of people said that to me and it’s true) don’t push yourself or put pressure on yourself to be up and about doing things like you used to. Your body needs time to heal. If you are having radiotherapy too that will take its toll. But this is just a short episode in the rest of your life. And I promise you, you will get your life back. sorry I’ve waffled on again. I hope it helps you get through. Take care caroline xx
... View more