Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello everyone! Just to report in that the 'retire and move to Scotland' dream has now indeed come true and is fekkin awesome, we are so bloody happy. It's peaceful and beautiful and wonderful, we're so very lucky! If the cancer comes back and gets me I'll be mad as hell, but nowhere near as mad as if i'd not achieved this. @higgi well only you would be considering diving into a renovation project with everything else you've got on! How's the swelling going? Really hope you don't lose the implant. @PaulineS27 thank you it's all I ever dreamed of here, it's not really sunk in yet - still feel a bit like we're on holiday and will have to go back to grim reality at some point. I only had 6 chemo sessions in total, and I had an easy time of it really, don't envy you at all. But head down, get through it xx Wishing you both, and anyone else who may still be around on this thread, a really great 2022 with lots of fun and energy, with the shitty treatments firmly in the rear view. Love, Pye xxx ... View more

Hiya @PaulineS27, Thingy is the correct phrase, if you're feeling a bit fancy you can always use thingymagig for a bit of a change. Several times a day I just find I 'freeze' in the middle of a sentance still while I search for the word I'm after. No longer embarrassed or concerned now though, this is just where I am, if I'm talking to you you're going to have to be very very patient or great at mime interpretation. Glad your allergic reaction has eased, as said previously i only had a teeny weeny reaction once (nothing to do with cancer treatment) and even that was really unpleasant, don't envy you at all. In general good news, our new house completed this week, we'll be moving the second week of December - can't wait! As we're moving to Scotland, 270 miles from where we are now in the Midlands it raises worries about how my care will continue. But I woulnd't change it for a second, so excited! Love and cuddles everyone, Pye xxx ... View more

@Woodybird, yeah brain freeze.. what do you call that thing? You know the THING? 'Initiates mime' 'A fridge'. Was suprised today to find there was no milk in the spice cupboard, eventually tried the fridge and holy shit there it was! **bleep** me i was top of my class throughout school, have a 2:1 Bachelors Degree in a pure science topic. But now? can't find my knickers in a morning! @higgi my dear, so sorry you are forever the Vanguard of **bleep**uppery. Admire your courage and humour so much in the face of it. Never apologise for a negative post here, I know we all put on our big girl pants for our nearest and dearest. You need somewhere to let it all out, feel free to unleash here. We can't fix it, but we're on your side and we understand. Good news to hear you're back at work and enjoying it, it's important to feel you are contributing so sounds like you have a brilliant compromise there. Can't help with the Achilles... or Le 'hard Tit! Mine's pretty stroppy and firm if that helps, and my wrists and finger joints are fekkin uselesa. Trying to do some DIY and I have no strength in my joints, they feel flimsy as **bleep**. Hope you get your offer accepted - our completion is this week hopefully. @PaulineS27 Thank you so much for the good wishes. The urticaria sounds like absolute pants, only had a very minor allergic reaction once previously and that was bloody awful. Looked like one of those celebreties who had duck-lips. Not to mention manic itchiness all over, hope they can sort it out for you. What is next on your agenda?  How are you all getting on with 'oh **bleep** is this a secondary?' Think i've always been a bit of a hypochondriac so not in a good position. Just had my Covid booster, was sick for a night, no worries,  but then next day OMG the gland in my neck is a little bit sore... Or I've got some bumps that are just like insect bites at the top of my arm! PANIC! Oh... they've gone away in a couple of days.. probably not secondary cancer then. Just me are you all as daft? Hugs n stuff! Pye xxx ... View more

Oh our dear Higgi - doing all of the right things and STILL getting beaten with the treatment stick!  How is the incredible inflated boob doing now after radiotherapy? I had my check up and no signs of suffering from capsular contraction as yet. Although it seems really quite 'solid' to me compared to how it was before. But it's fine, I've got no trauma over body image or such, although granted I'll probably not wear a bikini, but the rest of the world will breathe a sigh of relief at THAT for sure!  My partner has been retired a couple of years, and I've just got my ill health which will bridge me until i draw my pension so we're both now retired. The house hunting was painful, and emotional and disappointing and heartbreaking, but we're very happy with the one we've got the offer in on. Hopefully the market will be cooling a bit now and you will have success in finding your dream retirement home.  Take care, Pye xxx   ... View more

Hello everyone, Hope you're all getting on ok, whether that's tussling with the latest treatment or the absurdity of life in general.  OK here, I got my ill health retirement, so now officially retired at 52 YAY! Had an offer accepted on a house in Scotland, traditional cottage with the sea 1 mile one direction and a small loch 1 mile in the other, and a big garden - so I'm trying to sort out our current house as it's in a bit of a state, plus all the finance and other stuff that goes with it as Mr Pye is frankly useless at this stuff. Keeping me busy, and the worry that there will be a problem and the house sale will fall through makes a nice change from worrying if the cancer will come back!  Got a small op at the end of this month, surgeon is going to relocate some of my belly fat to improve my recon results which is really nice of her, only a minor op so no problems there. Still find myself very low on energy, really doesn't take much housework or DIY and I need a sit down, can only manage a few hours a day with breaks. Before this I could have stuck at it 10 hours no problem. Things ache too, finger and wrist joints, my knees. They hurt a bit now and again before, but they seem to nag a lot more these days. But mentally I'm pretty happy and positive overall.  Don't come here often, but I DO frequently think of you all, bestest wishes, with love Pye xxx     ... View more

Hello everyone, How are we all doing?  I had my ovaries removed 3 weeks ago, keyhole surgery, very easy if you happen to find it on your menu. My menopause symptoms are actually reducing since the operation, was on tamoxifen and then had the zoladex injection for 6 weeks before. My flushes are there but much reduced.  This week is a year since my initial surgery and I have an appt with a breast cancer nurse for my 'end of treatment' appt by phone, bit disappointed would have liked a face to face 'omg what the **bleep** is this' and 'how da hell am i gonna check for lumps here'  appt. But sure it will be fine.  Generally ticking along ok here, got an appt with work Occupational Health on Monday, cross your fingers for me, i requested they would finish me due to ill health and will be so fekkin happy if they do so.  Love to hear how you all are, Pye xxx ... View more

Hello everyone, Just read through and caught up with everyone's news, which I'm pleased to see is largely positive. I see there has been some talk about grey hair - I saw my first greys in my teens and dyed it for years, finally in my early 40s I thought stuff this dying lark and embraced the grey. Growing out the dye was painful, but once done I've never been happier with my hair. Healthy, strong, shiny, people always complement it. Had young 'uns asking me what dye i use on it even lol! Main thing I found about embracing the grey was how good it makes your skin look, as everything 'matches' as it were, it literally took years off me. I have eyelashes and eyebrows again now. Also lots of hair everywhere else.. my experiment with some random stuff off Amazon to inhibit hair growth where I don't want it has sadly been deemed a failure. Still it was a distraction for a while! Two months after radiotherapy finished and tiredness is gone, but fake boob is still somewhat swollen, but definitely settling back down, just going to take time. Saw the surgeons and they will see me in another few months with a view to a small fat transfer to hide some 'rippling' of fake boob. Should only be minor and great of them to consider it worthy of treatment - it's only visible when I've not got a bra on and doesn't bother me. End of this month i go for the pre-op meeting regarding whisking out the old ovaries, so I anticipate I shouldn't have to wait too long for that to happen now, Covid willing of course. My periods haven't returned since stopping in chemo so I'm hoping my body won't take too much of a huff to the process. @PaulineS27 pleased all is progressing well! I think that woman was just admiring how fabulous your scalp and fluff looked! No one seems to have taken blind bit of notice of my baldness, much to my dismay, they probably thought it was a choice seeing as I'm tall and tattoo'd anyway 🙂 And fancy getting it cut, I'm just going to daub mine in gel and let it grow and do it's thing I reckon. @Shine13 Sausages to your work! Make the time up? Pfft. As Pauline says the expectation seems to be you can bounce back to normal. I get the same thing from people, I wasn't ill in anyway before treatment, I was fit as a fiddle! It's all this gruelling treatment we have to recover from not the cancer. My work ring me every week and are starting to say things like 'oh well hope that's sorted soon then you can get back to normal'. Lovely that so many people are updating on progress, I love reading this thread. Take care everyone, love Pye xxx ... View more

Hello everyone, Just a quick hi to all, having spent ages reading everyones updates. Seems like some have quite a bit to go through still, but generally going in the right direction, even Higgi appears to be going in the right direction!  Fine here, tiredness still ebbing after finishing radiotherapy a month ago. Swelling is going down now on fake boob, I think in another couple of weeks it will be back to 'normal'. Seeing gynae at the end of next month to sign the forms for them to whip out the ovaries, always something on the horizon 🙂 Keep up the good work everyone! Pye xx ... View more

Hello all, @PaulineS27 hope all goes well for the operation for you - meant to post sooner so you'd have a chance of seeing my message... but I still don't seem to know what day it is! My reconstructed breast is swollen and a bit tender now radiotherapy has finished, but nothing major and it's fading. The skin was a little pink but beyond that all fine. So I've got away very lightly. @Guest user cording is a bugger, my sympathies. But the chyle leak and associated treatment sounds like a next level nightmare. Really hoping this phase passes soon for you. @grannyp Glad you survived the party! @dipitdee Hope you've managed some sleep this week with or without the sofa? How is it settling down and how's the drains? I'm not her2+ so I won't be on Kadcyla, was just including it as an example of our array of treatments... don't want any division between our different flavours of cancer, all inclusive group here! I'm all done with active treatement now, surgery, chemo and radiotherapy done and dusted. Just need to take bisphosphonates and tamoxifen going forward. So feeling very lucky compared to those of you here with things still ahead of them. Your 'Titty Committee' really made me laugh, I so wish I'd thought to entitle my update emails to folk that! Brilliant! @Karden hope you get help with the nausea, my first two rounds of EC i didn't take the supplied nausea pills as it was so low level it didn't really worry me. By the third I was merrily throwing them down my neck though and they worked fine so hope a change in meds will help you. I only had the EC components not the F bit that you are having in addition - and first round I wasn't too tired, second round was very tired but recovered half way before next session. Third session i didn't really recover in the three weeks till my next chemo. @Shine13 great news from the surgeon! Hope you get on the Kadcyla it sounds a good new option. Radiotherapy was fine for me (although a drag) hope it is for you. Overall I'm fine, just tired a lot still. Yesterday was reasonably energetic but slightly stressful, and though sleeping well I feel very tired and groggy this morning. I'm expecting a steep linear recovery I think and that's plainly daft! But overall good here. Hope everyone is getting through their week, and wishing you all a nice weekend. Well, @PaulineS27 is spending it in hospital... @Guest user will be spending it eating celery, in agony and unable to move... but APART from that i mean 🙂 Take care, Pye xx ... View more

@dipitdee  Bit scary about residual cells in the remaining nodes after chemo, for you specifically, and for all of us. There was no sign of node involvment from the MRI for me, but surgery revealed the sentinel nodes were affected and then 7/23 axillary nodes. Perhaps it just shows us the importance of  kadcyla, tamoxifen and other treatments we must follow up with.  Regarding sleeping with drains in - I sleep in the left side of the bed, drain was in my right side. But i managed to trail the tube over my chest to the bottle which I sat on the floor next to the bed. Didn't have any problems other then waking sometimes when i got in a bit of a tangle. Suppose this depends how long they've left the tubes for you thought? Hope you manage to find a good nights sleep!  @grannyp Glad your upcoming party is a little less daunting for you. I took the opposite approach to you and told everyone about my cancer whether they wanted to know or not, casual aquaintances included! Conversation was inevitably along the lines of 'oh thats a bugger, where are you in your treatment', then a tale about their/family members cancer.  I went back to work after my diagnosis as treatment couldn't start due to Covid, and was very anxious about dealing with everyone. Reactions varied from those i'm closer to wanting to know all the details, to those I know less well just giving an extra warm 'lovely to see you back'. Then of course as I work in a large blue collar environment some folk didn't know and it was just a 'oh you been on holiday again yer lucky sod?'. But it was all fine, I actually felt really warmed and supported, this was 3 weeks after my diagnosis. I know we're all VERY different but hope that helps a little x ... View more

Oh @Guest user thinking of you going through all this... insult to injury sums your current experience up exactly. @donkeywoman my arm ached for nearly a week after my 2nd jab and i was a little hot/cold and poorly, felt nothing from the first jab. Glad to hear work is going ok, yes beware the travelling - I've felt far less tired last two days without the trip to Sheff and back for sure. @Shine13 do you hope your surgery has gone ok, my sentinel nodes were the sorest bit by far!  @grannyp glad to hear things are going ok, a party would put me into a panic in normal times let alone at the moment - but I'm sure you will handle it with aplomb Final rads were on Tuesday yay! Skin still looking OK, slightly pink, and my breast (implant) and underarm are a little swollen, just fluid, nothing painful. It's great to have got past all the worst elements of treatment (well hopefully!)  I'm now waiting for them to remove my ovaries, although should be put on the injections to disable them in the meantime if there is a delay, then I can start on the bisphosphonates, and continue the Tamoxifen of course.  So nothing traumatic left to do (ovary removal is just keyhole surgery so don't expect it to be bothersome). Its really nice to take some exercise and eat well and know progress you're making isn't about to be trashed by surgery or chem or rads! Hope everyone is doing well this week, Pye xx ... View more

@Guest user fabulous news that you are cancer free I am so chuffed for you! You seem to have as difficult a road as possible ahead despite that good news with everything going on though. Pressure bandage? Low fat diet? Fekk that it sounds like a nightmare, I whined enough about the normal post surgery swelling and my sports bra. Good job you have that sense of humour to keep you going! @Karden mouth ulcers sound bloody miserable, hope they are able to reduce the dose as you mention. I've just got two more radiotherapy treatments next week then that's that done and dusted. So far no problems with it other than tiredness. I'd expected to be physically tired, but am actually sleepy tired too. Not something to complain about in the great scheme of things though. Hope everyone else is getting along OK, take care, Pye xx ... View more

Oh @Guest user that's simply arse. Thinking of you and hope they can sort it out xx ... View more

Hello everyone, @Guest user oh the joys of that buzzy little bastard battery dressing, waking you up all night, well once you've got to sleep after disentangling yourself from the drains of course. I was in a rush to get the drains out as they're so annoying, but wish i'd had them in longer as they're not as annoying as gallons of fluid sloshing around under your skin! I've had mastectomy and it was followed by ANC 3 weeks later. That was last October and yes back of my upper arm is still numb, and my armpit area, was warned that was how it was likely to stay, it's no bother though you get used to it. So sorry to hear about the A&E incident, that's really inexcusable, you shouldn't have had to deal with it. Hope you are recovering. Had my 5th radiotherapy today, the treatment is a doddle, @donkeywoman I am so bored of the travelling already! although it's not problematic and have had some interesting detours on the way home - but hey i'm a 3rd of the way through already. No side effects apparent as yet, although they say start around 2 weeks in and peak around 2 afterwards. Always something to look forward to with this breast cancer lark isn't there? My hair is growing a litte, but in a male-pattern-baldness way. It looks scraggy and frankly minging, hope this phase passes cos it's a lot worse than actually being bald. It looks really unhealthy and nasty, like some poor druggy, malnourished, homeless soul. Pye x ... View more

Hi all, Well look at that @grannyp over the line first! Well, apart from the years of other stuff of course, but that will just become the norm for all of us I suppose. The tough stuff is now in the rearview mirror, congratulations! I have 2nd Covid jab tomorrow, and commence 3 weeks radiotherapy on Wednesday, going to be exhausting I think but it'll fly by. Probably do me good to get out more too to be honest, I go for my walk daily but a wider view of the world is probably due. Oh the secondary chat rooms... yes I went there a few months ago too. I'm hoping that rather morbid couple of hours will help me keep motivation going to fill my life, rather than idle through it. Despite this experience I can see it being so easy to just slip back into complacency and waste time that could be better spent. Hope everyone has a good week, Pye xx ... View more

Good evening everyone, @Karden My dreaded dental visit turned out to be straight forward thankfully! I'm so sorry to hear you're in for more chemo sessions, the PICC back and all the hassle that will entail. I hope you can try and focus on the really positive news, that your lymph nodes are definitely clear. @Guest user bless you, that feeling of grief washing over you out of nowhere is just awful, imminent doom is hardly fun either. Thinking of you, and don't feel any worse about things for having yourself a pity party, you're allowed.   @PaulineS27 & @Shine13 - ah the last session and the blessed PICC removal! Glorious!    @PaulineS27 I had immediate reconstruction, prepectoral implant. Very happy with the choice - happy to answer any questions and go into as much detail as you like here or via direct message to save bogging everyone down with the description of my new breast, who i have named Julia after my surgeon 🙂   @donkeywoman Glad you're perking up, so nice to have a day out - my exploration has peaked so far going to Sainsbury's in Matlock to pick something up. It was SO strange to be in a different place - surreal to be excited just to wander into an unfamiliar supermarket. Good job we've decided not to go abroad again this year, think it would be a sensory overload after the last 12 months!   I'm back on the Tamoxifen now having stopped it for my chemo, so far so good although I want to confirm with them that the deteriation it causes in my eyesight won't be permanent (didn't even realise it was the tamoxifen until i stopped it for chemo and it improved dramatically, thought it was just age creeping up on me). After today's visit to the dentist, he's replaced the filling that disembarked during chemo and given the all clear for bisphosphonates which I'll have for 3yrs - when the get around to removing my pesky ovaries anyway.   The radiotherapy consultant rang and said having looked at my scan they are unable to safely treat the lymph nodes near the breast bone as my lungs would get too high a dose. I'm a bit gutted about that as my lump was situated very close to my breast bone, so I can only hope that the chemo will have dealt with any cancer cells lurking there. So I start that on the 28th for three weeks. Now it's all fingers and toes crossed that I'm not one of the unlucky 20% who suffer capsular contraction of my implant... there's always something new to fret about isn't there?   I've been making the best of the sunshine we've had here the last few weeks, my bald head looks slightly less horrific now it's seen a little bit of sun. Hope everyone else has too - very jealous of @grannp's zoo visit, must put that on my agenda post-radiotherapy. My other good news is that my latest 'Fit Note' is for 4 months - so don't have to worry about returning to work until August at least, feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, if only for a while.   Take best care of yourselves everyone, Pye xx ... View more

Hello everyone, Seems to have been an eventful week or so for most folk. Really appreciate everyone's updates. Thanks to @grannp regarding the 3 week vs 1 week raditherapy - I was a bit miffed to find out I had to do 3 weeks, thinking it was just Sheffield being behind the times, but your explanation makes sense in my case. @Karden I had the cording, its a bugger, they say it's just your arm usually but i also had from breast up to my neck and from my armpit down my side to the bottom of my ribs too. Kept up with the stretches and massaging it, a bit uncomfortable, but it went in a couple of months. Just reaching my arm up high while sat or waiting for the kettle to boil a few times so you feel it 'pull' is all i did really. Hoping for the best outcome for you regarding the residual tumour and further chemo. Whenever we think the waiting for results game is behind us it seems to crop up again... I had my initial radiotherapy consultation last Monday, i liked the consultant and the staff were gold standard as I've become accustomed to. I'm just worried about capsular contracture of my implant, I'd be so gutted to lose it after waiting out through Covid to have an immediate reconstruction. But I was aware of the risks, and was considering refusing the radiotherapy to the chest wall and just having my lymph nodes done - but the discussion in the consultation has made me come down on the side of getting the chest wall done for the sake of preventing recurrence. Which is after all why I'm going through chemo / radiotherapy / tablets / voodoo after all.  So another week is upon us, I have the bloody dentist to go to...I'm anticipating this with more terror than chemo but it probably won't end up being quite as bad. Hopefully. Pye xx ... View more

@grannyp thank you for the kind words, my mood issues lasted only a couple of days thankfully! Then i had period type pains although no actual period again, so slotting it down to my delightful PMS making itself known. You're so right about everyone thinking normal service will now be resumed...not sure how that is going to pan out, I think it's time to be a little more selfish going forward for me (or even more selfish depending on your point of view!). Do hope radiotherapy has been ok for you - look forward to hearing about that as I think you are the vanguard of the group on this one i think? @donkeywomanI'll be going in on my motorcycle, can then go 'the pretty way' to try to enjoy the journey, and hopefully find a corner of the car park to fit in, so will make the best I can of the jaunt. (Do have a car but it will be a miserable experience with the traffic, so bike it is!). Hope the blood transfusion works wonders for you.  @Kardenglad you've got through the surgery well physically. It's a lot to take in so quickly just since November. I think I was lucky in that respect to have been put 'on hold' between diagnosis and treatment starting for 7 months due to covid, gave me a lot of time to adjust to everything mentally. Not a big help to you at the moment, but be kind to yourself and feel free to have a break from being strong and just flop 🙂 @Guest userOMG you're got it all going on! Only bit i can help with is to say I had similar surgery -  took a few months for it to settle. No pain really from the mastectomy, the node clearance gave me more issues. I really want my 3d tattoo nipple when treatment is over, poor little blind booby at the moment. But overall really happy, don't feel at all like i've lost a breast. I've been very tired after my final round but coming up to 3 wks since my last chemo and I'm feeling pretty ok. Bit miffed to find I'm having various aches and pains now. I go for my usual walk, which i've only missed a few times through treatment, and I get pains at the side of my knees. Woke up with a pain half way down my forearm last night. Nothing bad enough to take painkillers for, but has made me aware of the damage the chemo has done and it's going to take some time to repair. Monday is my initial radiotherapy appointment, I should have done a lot of research by now which i haven't... that's the weekend reading sorted I suppose! Hope everyone is bearing up with their various gripes, love Pye xx ... View more

Hello everyone, @donkeywoman  Woohoo last chemo congratulations! Regarding the Chesterfield team - I've found them all fantastic (well bar one of the surgeons who thankfully didn't actually do my surgery in the end, but probably a personality clash rather than him actually being at fault). I read about your A&E experiences with horror - all the best intentions in the world there ends up being a disconnect in this sort of situation, luckily I've not need anything 'extra curricular' so have been spared that nightmare. Yes I do have the pleasure of travelling to Weston Park daily for three weeks from sunny ClayX for my radiatiotherpy, and yes I am far more anxious about the travelling than the treatment! @PaulineS27  thanks! Flopped a bit since my post here the other day, have a feeling it's the thought of returning to work in the not-as-distant-as-I'd-like future. But may also be hormones as my periods have now skipped two months, or lets face it, just about anything at the moment. Thrilled to read your updates regarding your tumours. @Woodybird  and @PaulineS27Regarding fur control I'm trying this Fur Inhibitor to see if it can keep my facial hair minimised, been so nice not to have to peer at my chin, tweezers in hand for the last few months. Read somewhere that men have trouble getting their beard back after chemo, so maybe there is hope for mine 🙂 Perhaps too much info... but also using it my undercarriage, happy to keep the landing strip in hand manually, but it would be lovely to have those parts that don't appreciate being trimmed or shaved inhibited hair-wise. Probably won't work but thought it was worth a shot for the price. Oh and Woodybird - isn't getting the picc line out great! It's done a wonderful job and glad I've had it, but damn i was glad to get rid of it. @grannyp  your updates have been so much a leading light for us all, you've been so open and honest about your doubts and fears (your initial fear to do chemo at all was so heart rending), yet such a great example overcoming them. Thank you. Great to hear your update @dipitdee  sound like me you've been thankful for all those who have kept up posting here it's been such a great help. So sorry to hear about your brother in law, wishing for a positive outcome for you all. Hope everyone is having a lovely Easter weekend, take care, Pye xx ... View more

Hello everyone, A huge thanks to all you regular posters, I've been here avidly reading everything every couple of days. However could barely muster the energy to keep family up to date, let alone input here too. I tend to withdraw when unwell. I've been silently supporting you all throughout, and taking great comfort from the posts. Had my last chemo on 19th March, I've already had my surgery so just radiotherapy, biphosphonates, ovaries removed and 10yrs tamoxifen/AI to go, be a doddle after chemo though! Today, to mark having recovered from my final session and hopefully now on the up and up, I've treated myself to some lotions and potions supposedly to aid hair regrowth (oh and one to inhibit too - thought I might try and use the opportunity to keep those parts I'd rather not get so furry again in check). Whether they will make any difference or not we'll never know, but it's nice to have a change of focus from have I got enough medications / food / dressings / strength to get to the otherside of the next chemo session. Now the weather is warmer and I don't need a hat I'm enjoying terrorising the locals with my bald head which I've accepted just about now, but oh to regain my eyelashes. Although my recent research into the return of hair indicates alot of people lose their last straggling eyelashes a few weeks after their last chemo... grr! Well wishes to you all, hope we are all going to continue using this thread through the rest of our tribulations. Pye xx PS: @donkeywoman  I'm at Chesterfield too btw, just in case you ever need to compare notes! ... View more