Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello,   I'm sat here hoping I get a call for surgery I don't want. It is such a surreal situation to be in.   I'm 34 and got diagnosed with high grade DCIS at the start of March. The plan was a mastectomy of the left breast with reconstruction at the same time. Now because of the virus I can't have the reconstruction and I'm on a waiting list of people needing surgery that gets discussed and prioritised weekly. No-one is monitoring me while I'm getting beaten to the surgery slots every week by people with a more pressing surgery need. I totally understand this but it doesn't make me feel any better.... how will anyone know when I become most urgent? Will I ever get the surgery?    It was also hard enough processing having a mastectomy but now knowing I'll be flat on one side is heartbreaking. I can't seem to find photos of how it will look or what clothes I'll be able to wear.  ... View more

Hello all,   I'm not 100% sure why I'm writing on here but I thought getting it all out might help. I'm 34 and got diagnosed with high grade DCIS at the start of March. The plan was a mastectomy of the left breast with reconstruction at the same time. Now because of the virus I can't have the reconstruction and I'm on a waiting list of people needing surgery that gets discussed and prioritised weekly. Whilst I'm pleased I'm on the list I'm worrying that I'm getting worse (every time I feel a pain) and that no-one is monitoring it while I'm getting beaten to the surgery slots every week by people with a more pressing surgery need. I totally understand this but it doesn't make me feel any better.... how will anyone know when I become most urgent?   It was also hard enough processing having a mastectomy but now knowing I'll be flat on one side is heartbreaking. I just put on one of my favourite tops and burst in to tears knowing after surgery I'll never be able to wear it (or half my wardrobe) again. Realistically I won't be able to get reconstruction because the waiting list is looking like 2 years at least and my husband and I are hoping to have children (I had two missed miscarriages last year) so hopefully in 2 years I'll have a small child and if I go in for surgery I won't be able to look after them. Also it will be trickier because they'll have had to cut off and throw away all of my breast skin. So I'm trying to make my peace now with always being uneven, for 40+ years.   It's so hard not to spiral thinking about the what ifs etc and having all the uncertainly is driving me insane. There isn't anything anyone can do or say but I needed to get it all out so I don't keep it in and end up feeling bitter. I was in a rubbish situation before COVID but at least I had some options. I feel like all my options have gone now and I'm just fighting for any chance of surgery and this not spreading.    *big deep breath* ... View more