Breast Cancer Now Forum

Oh my gosh Delly, that’s awful.  I was so lucky that I got immediate implant recon - had I ended up with no boob at all I think I would have cried and cried. Sending you so many hugs  marisa xxx ... View more

@LeeshaBee that’s so hard I feel exhausted permanently too but I think it has less to do with the breast cancer and more with the perimenopause and with being too busy at work. I actually find that herring as much exercise as I can helps. I also have to admit to stopping taking tamoxifen as it made me feel permanently awful! i hope you find something to give you some oomph and joy soon xxx ... View more

Hello @Silver6 and others I’m watching the documentary now but I have also been following Julia on twitter throughout her cancer journey. I also had widespread DCIS in my L breast and had to have a mastectomy in 2020. I chose immediate implant recon so my treatment was almost identical to hers. The main difference was that I had to wait 3 months for surgery due to Covid lockdown, all the while knowing that the cancer might go invasive (which it did but luckily they still got it all out in time). That did my head in so much that by the time I got my surgery I was completely gung ho about losing my breast and didn’t cry one bit. I almost danced on my way to the operating theatre! That is such a huge contrast to Julia’s terrible emotional distress. I agree that Julia’s journey is her own and not the same as anyone else’s. The type of cancer she (and I) had didn’t require chemo or radiotherapy. In terms of the degree of suffering which we go through, I always felt that I got off extremely lightly.   I can’t say that the risk of recurrence bothers me too much - I survived one mastectomy and with yearly screening I can get another one if my other breast decides to turn bad. I am unable to have children so don’t have that added dimension to the pain. I think Julia did a brilliant job at figuring out how to tell her children.  I also think that I’ve done a lot of recovering in the last 18months after returning to work and getting fit again.  I have just published my book which I wrote about my cancer journey  https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09XZJYK7N/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_9R7KKBN9WS7X7NHT2DVH  I agree that if the documentary gets women to be aware of lumps and get treatment then it can only be a good thing. I’m all for talking about these things!   hugs to you all xxx   ... View more

Hi Bookish, I had a left mastectomy with immediate implant reconstruction in July. Most of the time I don't notice that I have an implant. I get tweaks in my pectoral muscles from where it's stitched into them but on the whole I'm pleased with the result. I have no sensation in the skin over the implant which is a bit weird, but then how often do you notice how your breasts' skin feels? So it's not like having a normal breast but it's not awful either. I have almost no subcutaneous fat so my implant is right against my skin. I have resumed running and swimming with no problems. As long as I wear a super-supportive bra for running! I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to have both my boobs as implants. I think the main thing is the loss of sensation in the skin and armpit. And the implant is firmer than normal breast tissue. Feel free to PM me and I can send you some pics if you like! Marisa x ... View more

Prem, I hear you. You are hurting and that's normal. I have found that blogging has helped me to process everything I was and still am feeling through my investigations, diagnosis and treatment. Once the treatment is over you can feel very abandoned but also guilty for not feeling on top of the world. Add to that the Covid-19 restrictions and loneliness and isolation and bam, it really knocks you for six. You don't feel like a warrior or a survivor. You're just on the floor feeling battered and deflated. But you are still here, sister, and you will feel better with time. Cry as much as you need to. Then dry your eyes and notice how green the grass is and absorb the autumn colours. Just be for a bit. I find posting on forums like this helps too. Do you have children? I don't and some time ago I joined a support group for childless women which has helped me more than I could ever have imagined. Let me know if you want the details. Sending much love to you, Marisa x ... View more

Hi HEW how are you doing? I’m really struggling at the moment, especially as all the cancer help lines and the breast nurse phones are closed over the weekend.  sending hugs, Marisa ... View more

Oh Daffodil63, to be left in limbo like that must be heartbreaking. Have you got some support? I'm not surprised your confidence and self esteem are rock bottom. Sending you love and hugs, Marisa ... View more

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, HEW. My situation is a little similar. I was diagnosed with widespread, albeit low grade,  DCIS in L breast, a week ago and the wait for mastectomy is indefinite. It totally sucks! I'm older than you (47) and have no kids (horrible experience with infertility, failed IVF and failed adoption, to which I now have to add the grief of losing my breast!) but the uncertainty is killing me. I feel selfish wishing I could get my surgery planned when there are people dying of Covid-19 but no one seems to understand the impact of just stopping "routine" operations. The effect on me psychologically is devastating. If you want a chat, I'm here! Sending hugs, Marisa ... View more