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FindingDory
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since
22-06-2020
28
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Hugs
14-12-2020
10:17
1 Hug
Thank you Jools and i’m so sorry that you’re in a similar position to me. It’s just so hard to take everything in isn’t it? Sometimes it feels completely surreal to me - this whole awful year in fact. I’m also taking comfort from the stories on here too and hoping that it helps me find the strength to live the rest of my life as happy as i can possibly be, but its all just so raw right now i think. Bug hugs, Becci xx
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14-12-2020
09:56
2 Hugs
Hi Jan, thank you so much for your reply, i hope you get your scans soon and the results are good news for you. My breast care nurse has been there the last couple of times i’ve seen my oncologist & she seems lovely but i for some reason when she’s asked if i’d to talk more, i’ve just said no, that i’m fine, i couldn’t wait to get out of there to be honest, scared of hearing answers to questions i don’t really want to ask. But when i’m feeling a bit better i will give her a ring. Big hugs, Becci x
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14-12-2020
09:37
Hi Sarah, thank you so much for replying to me & i’m so sorry you’re that you’re going through this too, just reading the words that you understand got me crying! I’ve been reading through some of the posts on the secondary cancer threads today and theres lots of hope out there & different/new treatments for us so i feel a little better than i did earlier. Probably Doesn’t help that i’m feeling awful from the Docetaxel atm so i’m super emotional! I was diagnosed the beginning of may this year with what they 1st thought was stage 1, i’ve had a lumpectomy/lymph node clearance followed by another surgery because they didn’t get clear margins. 4 lymph nodes were cancerous & so my breast cancer became stage 3 grade 3, it’s ER/PR receptor positive, HER neg. I started chemo 31st July and i’ve had 4 doses of EC & now 2 of 4 Docetaxel. Some days are just so hard aren’t they? Going through all this can feel so overwhelming and lonely at times, but i’m hoping we’ll be able to help each other, big hugs to you too, Becci xx
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14-12-2020
12:32
10 Hugs
Hi, i’ve not been on here for a while & i apologise in advance for the long post - i did used to post on the August 2020 chemo monthly thread, but after i had a bone scan in October (for pain on my collar bone above where i had my lumpectomy) & then further MRI & CT scans last month that has confirmed a bone met in one of my pelvic bones, i’ve felt i haven’t been able to chat on there anymore. The ladies are all lovely & most will be about to or have finished their chemo and i guess i just didnt want to be a downer to them at such a difficult time in their lives. My oncologist paused my chemo (i’d had 4 x EC, due 4 x docetaxel) whilst i was awaiting my scans & results, so i’ve had a 4 week delay inbetween. I’m now back on track with the rest of my treatment - I’ve just had my 2nd cycle of Docetaxel last friday which has been rough, 2 more to go then radiotherapy & hormone therapy still too. My onc has said that i may qualify for SABR treatment for this bone met but i’ve not heard anything yet and i’m due to see him again the 30th December. I don’t think i’ve asked enough questions, like i know that i now have secondary breast cancer so its’s incurable but treatable, but what does that mean for my future? He hasn’t spoken about my prognosis at all. I’m 40, we have 4 children, the youngest has just turned 3 and i look at him and wonder if i’ll even see him start school? I can’t bear to think about leaving my kids & partner. I think i’m just still so in shock with it all, my thoughts go from disbelief, anger, denial, fear, worry, why me? What about the kids, my partner? It’s like i can’t think straight at all. How am i supposed to live like this? Everybody keeps telling me to be positive, which j usually am, but i feel so alone as well as tired & weary from the surgeries & chemo since May. My family & friends seem to still think that once my chemo is finished & i’ve hopefully had this new SABR treatment that will be it, i’ll be better & things can get back to normal. But things will never be ‘normal‘ again. I just want to talk to someone who understands, I’m so scared & lonely. Becci
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03-10-2020
12:51
3 Hugs
Hello ladies, i’m sorry i haven’t been on for a while - tbh i’ve been feeling so awful after round 3 that i was scared to come on here & tell you all, but it seems i’m not the only one unfortunately! I’ve felt so much more tired this time but find it difficult to drift off to sleep at night for the 1st week or so afterwards, so i’ve been exhausted. The sickness lasted slightly longer, ulcers in my mouth, constipation followed by sudden diarrhea and lots of aching /pain all over my body. I have round 4 on Friday which is my final EC before going on to 4 rounds of Docetaxel and i’m absolutely dreading it. I’m only just starting to feel better, i see my Oncologist Wednesday so i’ll have to make a list of things to tell him so i don't forget anything! I know that some of you will be having your surgeries after Chemo, so are awaiting scan results etc, i hope that you all get good news. I’ve already had my two breast surgeries in May/June and in my experience, in comparison to Chemotherapy it makes surgery seem like a walk in the park. I had a lumpectomy, lymph node clearance & then more tissue shavings so if any of you would like to ask me anything i’d be more than happy to share my experience with you & hopefully help in some way. Sending you all a big hug, Becci xx
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01-09-2020
11:45
1 Hug
Hello ladies, It’s been a rough few days for me since Friday’s EC but not as bad as last time and i’m feeling a bit better today. Still had some nausea and not much appetite (thanks to the awful taste in my mouth again!) but managing to drink lots & get some food down me this time so hoping i’ll feel much better by the end of the week. Getting some fresh air yesterday helped my mood, even if i was only out for about 20 mins so i’m going to aim for a short walk every day. Does anybody else suffer with the 2 days of steroids they give you? I couldn't get to sleep Sunday night, even though i take them as instructed at 10am & 2pm. I was so tired then all day yesterday & slept from 8pm til 6:30am this morning! Anyway, i hope you’re all doing ok & i’m thinking of you all. Big hugs, Becci xx
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01-09-2020
11:29
So pleased for you renpen, i’ve been in the exact same position and it was just the worst wait ever for me, i cried with relief for most of the day! Mine was also stage 3 grade 3 with lymph node involvement, but we’ve no spread & having our treatment so we’ll get through this, Big hugs, Becci x
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01-09-2020
11:23
1 Hug
Hi Amy, sorry i’m late replying - been feeling rough after my 2nd dose of EC but its not been as bad as last time at least. I’m so pleased that you also feel better after taking the plunge & shaving it all off! I honestly thought i’d feel terrible about it, but bizarrely its gone the other way for me, it’s given me a bit of an attitude of f*** it, i think! 😂 I went out for a little walk yesterday with my partner & 2 year old to get a bit of fresh air & didn't bother covering my head, although it was a little chilly! I have been trying some different headscarves & hats to see what suits me coz i think we’ll definitely need them now the colder weather is coming! I’m going to make the appointment to go get my wig when i’m feeling a bit better but i’m really not sure what to go for - stick to blonde & curly or try something a bit different? It really is surprising how having cancer can give you a new found confidence, i really couldn't care less what people are possibly thinking about me anymore, i’m glad to be alive & have far more important things to be thinking about! Big hugs, Becci x
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27-08-2020
03:58
5 Hugs
Hi MB, glad to hear that you’re feeling well now - those first 7 days were hell for me too so i’m just hoping that this time wont be so bad. My Oncologist prescribed me loads of anti sickness & acid reflux medication etc so i’ve got that at the ready so fingers crossed! I’ve been feeling pretty ok too after that initial first week so can only hope that will be the case each time for us but i guess only time will tell. I started noticing lots more hair in my brush on day 15, then over the next few days it had started coming out loads, so i took the plunge & got my oh to shave it for me, i think my 2 year old is more upset than me, he keeps asking where’s my hair gone! I’m feeling brave so here’s a Before & after photo!! Big hugs, Becci x
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27-08-2020
03:38
Good luck for today Maire, i know you’ve been dreading it but at least it will be one more out of the way, i’ve got mine tomorrow so i guess it wont be a great bank holiday for us! Big hugs, Becci x
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27-08-2020
03:33
2 Hugs
Hello everyone, i’ve not posted for a little while but i’ve just been reading all your latest posts so i think i’ve caught up with most things! I was due to have my 2nd chemo last Friday but it was postponed because the blood tests they do a couple of days before revealed that my liver enzyme count was much too high. It’s now gone down enough that i can have my 2nd EC tomorrow afternoon - to be honest i just want to get it over with now as i’ve spent the last week worrying about it all. I made the decision last Wednesday to shave all my hair off & i must say that i was more upset seeing it falling out on the days before than i am having no hair now! It’s a bit strange & i do forget sometimes that its all gone, then i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and i think ‘oh yeah, this is me now!’ I still haven’t made an appointment to go and get my wig actually. Anyway, i’m sorry to hear about the side effects that we all seem to be suffering from in varying degrees and i’m sending big (socially distanced) hugs to you all. I’ll let you know how my weekend goes 😬 wish me luck!
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18-08-2020
10:07
So sorry to hear how much you’ve been struggling - the 1st week afterwards was hell for me but i then i’ve honestly felt ok for the last couple of weeks, a little bit more tired than usual, but i’ve been going for a walk everyday & still managing to keep up with my very energetic 2 year old! my taste buds have gone a bit haywire, i cant seem to taste sweet things the same, tea & coffee taste weird & for some reason all i wanted to eat during that first week was tuna sandwiches!! How was your burger after years of being a veggie? You must really of needed the iron to be craving it that badly! Hope you feel better soon xx
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18-08-2020
08:54
2 Hugs
Hi ladies, hope you’re all doing ok as you possibly can be. i’ve been feeling generally ok since my blood clot arm has been feeling better and i ended up having a lovely weekend celebrating my 40th birthday. My hair decided to start falling out the day after my birthday though (so day 15) and now it’s coming out in handfuls. I dont have any bald patches but its so much thinner already. I have my 2nd round of chemo this Friday so i’ve decided to brave the shave on Thursday - i just can’t take seeing all my curly hair going for much longer, so my partner is going to do it for me. katbee - the constipation was a side effect for me too, although i’m not sure it was from all the medication or the chemo itself! I hadn’t been the toilet for 7 days, so i phoned the nurse & she sorted a prescription for senna tablets & some aptly named ‘Laxido’ sachets which got things moving after a couple of days! Never experienced any thing like it before so was getting quite worried. Like you say, it’s just one more thing isn’t it?! I’d check with your nurse If it’s painful now for you to go to the toilet since though, it doesnt sound pleasant at all you poor thing. I hope you’re ok. I’ve got an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow to check how i’ve got on & then i’ll have my bloods taken as well ready for Friday. I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about it but i’m just praying that they’ll know now to give me the right meds & that this time so i dont feel as bad. Big hugs to you all, Becci xx
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11-08-2020
02:49
1 Hug
So sorry to only just be replying to you MB, my 1st chemo was 31st July & it was a rough 1st week afterwards for me, but i’m much better now thank god! my 2 surgeries were only a few weeks apart & i also struggled with the GA too, but i’m healing well and i’m hoping to have a breast reduction after all my treatment is finished to even things out! I’m so sorry to hear that you felt you couldnt face going through the egg harvesting process, I realise that i’m incredibly lucky to have already completed my family before my cancer diagnosis and my heart goes out to you. I hope that you’ve got lots of love & support around you at this difficult time. I wasn’t in the celebratory mood, but i’m feeling better & stronger this week, so i’ll be raising a big glass to you all on my 40th birthday this Friday! Big hugs, Becci xx
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11-08-2020
02:18
1 Hug
Hi Ladies, really hope you’re all doing ok & Maire i’m sorry to hear that you’ve not been feeling great either, i hope you’re feeling a bit better today, although i know the heat doesn’t help. It’s been 1 thing after the other for me since my 1st chemo unfortunately & I had an ultrasound scan on friday to confirm the blood clot in my arm but they dont want to take the picc out unless they really have to or i decide that i’ve had enough of it basically! I’m on these daily blood thinning injections now for the next 7 months at least & i’m going in tomorrow to have my picc cleaned & flushed. Also, having never suffered from constipation before, it’s certainly been an experience now having had it as another side effect of chemo - all i can say is always keep a tin of prunes in the cupboard just in case.... On a positive note, apart from the aching in my arm i’m feeling good! I stopped taking the anti sickness a few days ago, my energy levels are on the up and i look & feel human again! I’m just wondering now when my hair is going to decide to vacate my head, but i’m generally feeling positive again and when i have my 2nd chemo next Friday i know i’ll be better prepared this time. It was a hell of a week but i’ve come through it still smiling, we’re going to have **** days but we’ve got each other & we’ll get through this, Big hugs, Becci xx
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06-08-2020
06:03
2 Hugs
Hi Maire, hope you’re feeling ok after your 1st chemo today. I’ve been to hospital today as my arm got worse, they definitely think theres a blood clot so i’m on daily blood thinning injections and awaiting an u/s scan. Hoping this pain eases off soon so i can finally start to feel better. Hope you get plenty of rest over the weekend, big hugs, Becci xx
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06-08-2020
04:54
1 Hug
Hi MB, your treatment plan sounds almost the same as mine, only difference is i’ve had a lumpectomy & axillary clearance instead of a mastectomy. I’m 39, will be 40 next Friday but somehow I don’t think i’ll be celebrating it much this year! Hope your 1st chemo goes well next week, big hugs, Becci xxx
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05-08-2020
09:39
1 Hug
Thanks Maire, yeah the acid reflux is something i’ve never experienced before and just made the nausea even worse. I wish i’d known that its a common side effect of chemo before hand. Zach is a handful, obviously going through the terrible twos stage isn’t ideal whilst i’m going through chemo but then the flip side is seeing his cheeky smile everyday and giving me something positive to focus on, he’s a welcome distraction for us all at the moment. We have 3 older children, 2 who still live at home ages 18 & 15 so they help a lot with Zach & I also have a fantastic partner so i’m lucky in that respect. Hope you do manage to get some sleep tonight. We’ll get through this together, big hugs, Becci xx
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05-08-2020
09:21
Thank you so much Katbee, i’m wishing you all the best for your 1st session tomorrow & i’ll be thinking of you xx
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05-08-2020
08:27
1 Hug
Hi Ladies, sorry i haven't been on before, but the weekend didnt go great and i only started to feel half way human again yesterday! Nausea started about 7:30pm the night of chemo, Domperidone tablets didnt help at all and the steroid ones only helped ease it a bit. The whole thing was made worse by bad acid reflux though, so i could hardly sleep, eat or drink. My wonderful partner eventually sorted out getting different meds for me, which took all day Monday and resulted in a prescription being sent electronically to our local pharmacy through the GP. I’ve now been taking Ondansetron for the nausea and omeprazole for the acid reflux since yesterday and feel much better than i did thank god! I’m drinking and managing to eat little and often although I don't know where my taste buds have gone?! Obviously just need to get my strength back up now, but its hard to get lots of rest when you have a 2 year old! Only thing now is that since i woke up this morning, my picc arm aches at the top and all my shoulder. I rang the nurse and she said i’ve probably slept funny on it and to take paracetamol for it, as I don't have a temp, theres no swelling, redness etc, so i’m hoping that will feel better tomorrow. Overall, not the ideal start to my chemo journey, but i’m hoping that now they know how i react to the EC they can prepare me better for next time. Just knowing that i’m not alone and there are others going through this makes me feel better able to cope with all of this. Maire, i wish you all the best for tomorrow, i’ll be thinking of you xx Big hugs to you all xx
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