Breast Cancer Now Forum

😖😭😭 Is it normal to fell the lump as it was felt before it was removed?? Is it brusing?? I am so confused.. I had this lump removed 10days ago and I felt the area today and I feel the same lump.. I am so fed up confused and just want to cry.. this supposed to be pioneering technique removing suspected lump with minimal side effects.. but I feel the mental side effects are worse than any scars or disfiguration... my follow up is 28/8 ..ages ..trying not to overthink this 😖 ... View more

Hi Tara Thank you for sharing your story with me..I am so so so pleased that you are enrolling on nursing training 👍👍👍😁 fantastic news.. to have someone who have experienced cancer and treatment for it, no doubt you will be able to help other patients through their journey .. who knows our paths might cross in professional way one day 😁 I keep my fingers crossed for your treatment and nursing training to go smoothly and swiftly..and if you need any advice pls write anytime. .. I find this forum such a relief.. just to be able to write about my thoughts.. initially I thought, I am cheating, as I am not diagnosed and I hope all my results come back clear..but then I decided to let myself feel what I was really feeling ..fear and anger.. and those few weeks put a lot in perspective for me in personal and professional way.  The way I was treated by some of the health professionals was disappointing and sad, but I do realise there's a lot of great doctors and nurses around. I work with fantastic team and other professionals and I  carry nursing in my heart.  I think all of you who go through chemo are extra brave .. chemo is such difficult treatment physically and mentally, I fear this the most .. I wish all your cycles are sucessfull with minimal discomfort and minimal side effects.  I know someone who went through surgery chemo and radiation for breast cancer who didn't tell her son about the illness, at the time he was 8y old..he is now 17 and still don't know his mum had cancer..she is ok cancer clear now, she didnt want her child to go through the horror and constant worry.. how and what you tell your children is your own personal decision and noone has the right to question your decision in regard to this. I sometimes nurse patients who are very poorly and at the end of their lives..I sometimes get asked "shall we tell our grandchildren..or children.." its very difficult to advise ..I often say to my patients they need to do whats feels right for them at the time. There is no right or wrong answer I think..  Tara good luck with your treatment and nursing training.. I will keep you in my thoughts. Take extra care of yourself ❤❤❤ ... View more

I am starting to believe I am expecting too much.. I went to have my lump excision done under local with uss guidance today and the hospital let me leave in tears!!.. nobody took any interest or time to try to help me, to understand me, to make effort to make it better..it was all so confusing and disappointing, that as a nurse I cannot comprehend .. no one gave me any compassion or dignity and I am just so heart broken now .. it was rushed as they were running late and nurses wanted to go home..in 15years I been a nurse I never ignored my patient tears.. I am thinking of those who have no background knoweledge who don't know the system ..how scary for you. I will get over this but for now I am broken. I seen a doctor last week who said she will book me for this pioneering excision of my lump using local anaesthetic and uss.. I  was happy less waiting time & less complication, to be told today that they only taking another biopsy.. bigger piece as pathologist couldn't work out my previous sample...after raising my concerns the doctor took as much as she could (but I don't know how much) and placed marker inside. I was ok with all that I understood all, and was happy utill I got to the nurse post mammogram, who said "I will put a dressing on", she said that twice..so I was expecting a dressing ..to my surprise she pulled out a bandaged (one roll) and attempted to bandage my size 32G breast.. well half of them hung out deformed..then she patronised me saying don't worry it,s not bad.. I stressed to her the fact my t-shirt is "thin & see through type" and I  am getting on a public transport in rush hour.. no compassion no dignity, she brushed me off and send me away in tears.. 5 nurses/hospital staff seen me crying my eyes out, none stoped and asked. I am fuming now hours later..but I cried all way home (2xundeground trains) I must be ecpecting too much.. last week I was told "why you panicking you don't have cancer yet" to today "dont worry its not that bad" when I felt half of my chest hanging out for everyone to see.. I just hope my biopsy/excision comes back negative and that I will never again have to put my foot through that Trust doors.    ... View more

Hi there  I am still waiting to find out if my breast lump is of any concern but as I have strong family history of ovarian cancer I want to have gene testing, which is impossible on nhs strict criteria, so looking at private testing back home.. my feelings are if I turn out to be positive and have gene mutation then I  would seek preventative surgery.. I am not mentally strong and able to go through cancer treatment in the future and worry at each annual check ..I  have a strong opinion about elective double mastectomy which sadly is not supported by my partner..  ... View more

P.s noticed spelling mistakes and mobile changing some words as predicted texting/writing function on .. to correct it I am waiting for vaccum assisted mammotom not mammectomy.. 🙄🙄🙄 sorry for misleading info its not on purpose.. All the best today. 🤞🤞🤞❤ ... View more

Hi Hanan I wonder if you will get any sleep tonight.😞🤞... did you manage to get any help from autistic team for your child?? Hope you had some luck with them or the school. Try not to worry or overthink tomorrow..when you go in tell them your preferences, some people/patients would like to know step by step, some people prefere not to know and just get on with whatever need to be done..I am the first ..wanting to know everything before anyone gets to even touch me or say hello ..maybe due to work..  but then I decided to stop feel guilty about my reactions or emotions for now. I remember when I was a nursing studend, the lectures used to say "treat patients like you want your mother to be treated" I addapted this a little and my motto is  " treat others as you would like to be treated" ..I dont have appointment yet for my mammectomy, I can't have surgical lumpectomy due to size and this hospital pioneering non opetative methods.. on one hand I am glad its not full general anaesthetic, no risks and need to self isolate for 2weeks (so hoping less waiting time) but on other they cant take any margins this way and there is small risk that they won't remove all suspected cells.. I am looking up genetic testing..my GP said he will refer me but small chance of seeing them on NHS ..so I am looking at going home to have this done especially that back home they looking at our specific genes .. I rather know now if there's any background that might put me in this sad situation again..but still don't know if my lump is anything to worry.. its strange how system works my follow up appointment for results is booked for 11/9 but I haven't had the procedure as yet 🙄🤣 it might happen next week as I did say to team I am going away for a week with my sister and her children..that will keep my mind off things running after 5&6 year old 🤣🤣 I had a busy day today at work to the point that I got dizzy at the end.. weather here is great if you can sit in the garden and enjoy it but if you have to work its bit too hot and humid.  I realised today that I haven't manage to cycle for almost 4weeks now (I normally cycle to work but post covid anaemia strack off) so starting to plan from next week to be back on my bike..little things that make us happy.. plan for those little moments of joy through your journey dont let this disease completely take away all pleasures of life.. when you get a good day it will make up for all those horibble moments.  Be yourself and good luck tomorrow. I will keep you in my thoughts tomorrow.  You are not alone. And you are braver than you know xx ❤ ... View more

P.s there is chemo posts here on this site that you might find helpful.. lots of love xxx ... View more

Hi I dont find your message all negative ..quiet opposite I see lots of determinations in your words. Its great news that you are starting your treatment already..its not going to be easy, probably you will get some side effects (which can be managed with antisickness medication, pain relief medication, plenty of rest, light meals, meditation, good music- if you like to listen to it and other little ways you will discover) the main thing is to remember that at the end of this journey you will be well again and have again strenght to enjoy your live.. dont worry yourself about anything from now on ..just take day at the time..some of those days you will cry some you will laugh.. its all going to be worth at the end. Cancer is curable although treatment is nasty not all people get all side effects.. I have a friend back home she had agressive breast cancer stage 4 ..at the age of 30..she went through a lot of chemo cycles..lost her hair (all grew back) but never got any severe other side effects she was worried about..of course she had them but not as bad as she feared.. I am type of person who prepares for the worse so I can be nicely surprised when its not that bad..😉..my other half says I am the most pessimistic person he knows 😂 You are going to be ok. They will look after you and help you manage side effects. You are stronger than you think. Good luck and I will think of you on Friday xx❤ ... View more

Hi Hanan  I been thinking about you today and all those brave people who despite so much trauma in their lives have managed to survive and live theirs lives to the maximum, history is often forgoten.. life is so unpredictable .. I am sorry you have been through the war and now have to fight another battle.. my granny used to say to me when I was little and had not many friends "live in the moment enjoy people who love you dont waste time on those who are mean to you, use what you have dont be greedy" my granny was the best person ever and I am me because of her. I have been thinking of her more often recently maybe as she gave me so much strenght when she was alive.. she was my rock!! I hope you have some good friends to rely on and some family near by? In my job I see people from all over the world ..everyone has own culture believes and behaviour..its important for me to learn and understand needs of each patient and I hope that you will receive all necessary kindness and support from the team treating you. I been told yesterday by the doctor not to google my results (I asked for print out of my biopsy) and not to google the proposed procedure, but she didnt give me any info about it so I did Google of course but I use cancer.org and breastcancer.org websites ..and I find their information informative and helpful.. goid luck with autism support and planning your treatment. I will keep you in my thoughts. ❤  ... View more

Hi Hanan I am glad you got your family doctor on board to help. Having diagnosis and knoweledge of what you are facing will in time reduce hour anxiety as you will plan with your team the treatment that is going to be based on your needs. I dont personaly have knoweledge about specific brest cancers as I am surgical nurse seeing/nursing a lot of cancer patients.. there are ladies here that will message you ..read some other posts and message people with similar diagnosis.. they will be able to share with you their own experiences and suggestions. I had my appointment today which I vent about in my post thread "awaiting diagnosis" I am clear in left but right came back as inconclusive so awaiting further tests.. I am disappointed how I was treated today.. I should be feeling happy that my left biopsy is benign change but due to this doctor attitude I am sad and still scared about my right..  It must be hard to deal with cancer having children and twice as hard when your child has additional needs. As autistic children need routine calm environment and constant attention do you have in Germany children disability nurses/therapists that you could speak to about advice how to prepare your little one for your journey? Do you have breast cancer nurses in your breast clinic/oncology ?? Do you get any support links apart from your doctors?  What  I find helpful and I often suggest this to patients on the wards is to write down list of all even the smallest questions to ask on appointments as you might forger otherwise.. I think its important that you try to find help/support to aid your autistic child through this, maybe speak to his/her school teachers and look up autistic society website ..and once you have some tools how to deal with him/her you will feel reasured and able to concentrate on your treatment..  Please write anytime. Lots of love xx ... View more

Thank you Shi for your reply.. I will at some point write to the team with my feedback once I am done with this journey. Being part of the healthcare family I understand how important is to  receive feedback good or bad as in turn this improves care for future patients but at this time I just need to sort myself out. I will investigate genetic testing even if I have to do it privately as I never ever ever again want to go through this emotions again.. this doctor said if my "lumpectomy" (can't remember a proper name for this procedure as I am having it done by new non-surgical method using scans?? I am not sure how they will remove 1.8cm/1.5cm and she said no need to take extra margins..if she wasn't so dismissive I would have asked about this procedure more but hey ho great I have no clue now) is clear then they will follow me up with yearly mammogram ..I dont want to go through this worry every year.. I want to be sure I do all I can to prevent having breast cancer now if possible .. ... View more

Jill I cant believe they have told you things over the phone like this.. I am shocked and sad to read your post.. I went in for my results which are left benign changes but right is inconclusive pathology see early changes but cannot establish cancer..so booked for removal of whole lump to investigate further..so seems all good for now apart from fact that cancer might still be hiding in it and this not knowing drives me insane.  On other note I am so angry with the doctor I seen today and I hope I will never see this wonen again she was so dismissive of all my questions..told me "you have no cancer but some changes why do you panic" ..she basicaly told me I have no right to panic and think there might be something wrong till I am told so..she said "don't run to think and behave like cancer patient, walk slowly.." I was absouletly shocked of her attitudes and way she talked to me.. I was so upset and broke down in tears as I was trying to ask if I can have any other tests or genetic testing due to my unknown family history..omg her reaction was shocking again indicating I have no rights to genetic testing and why I am asking as I don't have cancer yet.. I am glad my other half was there as I dont think anybody would believe me that she was like that.. then she said "do you want to see breast nurse" she just didnt want to deal with me anymore I declined as I wanted ask her the doctor questions I had..but she was then trying to explain biology of cell change to me which I said to her 3times I understood I have this knoweledge.. my other half asked to see breast nurse (I think to calm me down as I was getting wined up by this doctor more) and this doctor then said "well she is not a cancer patient so I dont think so" ..this app was the worse experience ever..not becouse of the results but becouse of this doctor attitude..and yes I was emotional anxious and possibly over reacted a little but she did not handle me well snd she made it so much worse.. I am not a cancer patient but I am investigated for it and untill I have all results available I will feel what one feel in uncertain time. All way home I was thinking of all my patients and their journey through my hands and I pray that I never ever made someone feel this way.. I woudnt be able to forgive myself.. I am truley shocked by this experience .. ... View more

Hanan  I am sorry for how you feel mentaly and physically.. did you try to speak to your breast nurse or GP about physical signs of stress (your shaking) and discuss with them ways to help to manage this for you? We all are different with how much stress and worry we can cope and carry with us..some dont show how they feel ..some actualy have physical signs shaking nausea vomiting pains .. for some talking/sharing their story is enough to offload.. some of us have a good cry every day and thats helps them to get through the rest of the day..some manage to learn yoga/mindfulness ..but some cant get through this without supportive medication.. I am not saying someone should go on calming medication straightaway..I am simply trying to say  there is help ..ask ..dont be affraid to ask ..dont suffer ..I see so many patients suffering because they are affraid to ask .. and there is so many different things that can be used ..try calling nurses from this forum ..I hope you have someone around who you feel safe with.. and here you are not alone. Take care and message me if you need at any time. Xx ... View more

Hi Hana  Sorry you are going through this experience.. this forum is a great place to off load and evie-s and other ladies seems to be here for us no matter what ❤ I agree waiting can drive you crazy the unknown is just unreal.. I have put few post myself about my feelings which took me completly by surprise as I am normaly on the other side of patient. I am having my diagnosis app tomorrow so feeling bit calmer atm but by the morning I will again be ball of nerves.. I know many says dont reserch dont look up Google but personaly the more I know from trusted sources such as breastcancer.org the better I can cope and prepare ..I have only got 22 questions to ask tomorrow 🤣 poor consultant he doesnt know whats coming his way 😬 . I hope you will find this place as helpful as I do. Lots of love xx  ... View more

Hi ladies Just a quick note ..on friday I called to check with breast nurse if I need to rebbok my app as didnt think 2nd biopsy will be ready..it didnt make much sens what she said to me at the time..so I phone again today and her reply was ..we all know about your 1st biopsy already (indicating I myself been informed) than she very causaly said that 2nd one is back and was discussed today in MDT to come in tomorrow..she then said "dont panick is not all that bad" which for a few split second put a smile on my face ..but then I thought something is bad ..I have 2 issues so one might be ok other mingh be not.. its just you see its not always good to be part of healthcare family..its very difficult to nurse a nurse and we pick on a lot that other patient might not think of..I know she wanted to reassured  me but it just came out wrong.. and I bet once she put that phone down she felt it..but we all are just humans. And just to clarify I am not treated at the place I work..I asked for completly different Trust with no conection to my place of work. My GP was good about this giving me preference and choice. I dont think I will sleep tonight so might bother some of you with my thoughts later xx thank you All brave You for being here for others xx ... View more

Jo, did your team use NHSPredict tool when they gave you your diagnosis..I seen it suggested on some websites but did not notice any of other ladies here mentioning it.. might be of some help in making your decisions.. maybe its worth asking your breast nurse.. x  ... View more

Dear Jaybro Thank you for your words they do mean a lot..I cant believe myself how this got to me.. maybe as I am so tired all the time due to low iron and low WBC ..initially I was putting this towards post covid side effects.. but meds not helping much instead causing a lot of side effects..so the physical exhaustion probably leading to my mental near break down. I am much better at work where I have no time to feel sorry for myself so being home is not doing me any good.. colleagues at work (those few that know) are allowing me to do what I can and its safe for me to continue my work.. my other half is constantly complaining that I should be off sick..I understand his point but I do not consider myself ill..being anaemic and neutropeanic awaiting multiple breast biopsy results is not being ill to me.. although if I had a patient like that I know what I would be telling that person.. how ironic.. so probably I should listen to some of the advice from others ..I need to think of myself now and be kind to myself first and maybe that way one day I will be back to my old self .. ... View more

Hi ..sorry to hear your news ..you will definately find some good advice here..I noticed few ladies take on "us newbies" and give a lot of great support.. I can't sleep its my first sleepless night thinking of cancer sitting in my lovely breasts.. and I just want to cry.. and I just want it out.. and I feel like a cheat as I am not formally diagnosed as yet but I have strong possibility based on symptoms and presentation  .. good luck with planning your treatment xx ... View more

Hi Jo  I am still waiting for my results but I am already thinking that I will go for double mastectomy.. I wouldnt say you are overreacting.. thinking about all options and deciding whats best is realy tough.. I have lump in right and calcification in left..I don't know if I will be able to go through treatment and possibility that in years it might come back.. I feel silly to already thinking about this but that's what turning in my head.. I hope you find some comfort in sharing your story here.. I definately do.. good luck x ... View more

My initial result app is booked for this tuesday but as I dont want to do it twice I think I will have to wait untill 11th.. I spoke to specialist breast cancer nurse at the hospital she kindly said she will look it up on monday if my secong biopsy is back but realistically looking I dont think pathologists would have looked at it in 2days ..I am not the only sample being tested, I am sure there is other more urgent samples in the lab.. I have told few people about my tests but I dont want to bother them with my thoughts all week.. and decided to join the forum to have somewhere to share those thoughts questions and feelings  ... View more