Breast Cancer Now Forum

Feeling the same as you today @Lewy2803. Been awake since 5am. Can't sleep but tired. Not hungry, but need food. Just bleurghhhhhh! I'm snacking on chopped apricots (pre-chopped! How lazy!!), or an apple or a biscuit... Not meals as such, just something to taste. The other day i had chocolate weetabix with warm milk & a sprinkling of sugar. Lush!!  Struggled this morning with my eldest. She didn't want to do online registration. Lots of tears. The root of it was the fact that all her friends will be going back to school in 2 weeks & she won't be. Made me so unbearably sad. It will be until the end of April & that's such a long time for them. Just so sad for what they are having to cope with. On top of everything else, her best friend lives next door but they are moving house on Friday. I'm really good friends with the Mum too. She's been amazing throughout all this BC rubbish. We were always in & out of each others house, but we haven't been in since beginning of Jan & we won't be able to visit their new house for ages either. We're just a bit sad today i guess. Sorry. Bloody covid rubbish.  On the positive side.. The sun is shining already today so Spring is definitely on it's way. Onwards & upwards. 🌞 X ... View more

Hi @Erin 35. Just a quick message to hopefully give you a bit of encouragement with your daughter about the hair. Even though i'm still using the cold cap, mine shedded massively after treatment #2 & i decided to cut it really short (didn't quite brave the shave, but i did look like a wispy haired old man!). It is a big deal to drastically change your appearance. It's emotional for yourself, but you also worry about the effect on others, especially those we are desperate to protect. My amazing girls (8+10) were obviously uncomfortable, unhappy but also intrigued. I didn't know whether to try hiding it with scarves etc, but in the end after only a few days, it has just become the new "normal". My youngest (also called Gracie 💖 ) likes to tickle it!  I just spoke to my 10 year old about your situation & how we coped with it & she says that she doesn't even notice what i have on my head now, it's just me. Kids are so very resilient. Rock your amazing warrior look & let your daughter see your strength (even if we don't always feel it!! 😘 ). Sending lots of hugs. 💖 💖 Xx ... View more

Hi ladies,  Well i know what you mean @donkeywoman about being steroided up!! After a bit of a rough day yesterday, i managed to get some half decent sleep last night, so with that & the steroids this morning, i prepared breakfast, slow cooker meal for tea, cleaned the bathroom, put a wash on..all before 11am! Have now been lying in bed having the occasional nap since midday!! Steroids worn off!!  I'm with you on the alcohol front @Gelbel. Me & the husband would have a couple of cheeky brandies/wine of a weekend but i've not touched a drop since new years eve!  I don't really miss it too much, which is something i never thought i'd say!! I'm definitely going to be a cheap date after all this!!  My friend has just said that when this is all over & we can actually meet up with people, that we're going to go to the beach with a picnic blanket & gin! That's definitely something to look forward to!!   Hope you're feeling ok @Belinda_F. Regarding your question about my picc line (my chemo brain has actually remembered something!!), they always draw blood & flush it immediately before treatment. It flushed ok, but wasn't drawing much blood & then stopped working completely. I had to turn my head, hold my breath, cough, lie down flat, twist my arm...still nothing. After half hour of trying different things, they sat me up to my original position & it worked!! Crazy body!!  Hope you're all looking after yourselves lovely ladies. 😘 Xx   ... View more

So glad your chemo went quicker yesterday @Lewy2803 & that yours was straightforward today too @donkeywoman.  Make sure you rest up now. 😘 Mine went ok yesterday. They did have a bit of trouble getting my picc line to work, but it did in the end. Phew! I did feel quite ropey & nauseous last night, more so than previously. Have had to take Domperidone a couple of times, but fingers crossed that will improve. I need to nap but it's just not happening today. Just cleaned the kitchen!  Bloody steroids!!!  I'm so sorry to hear of the nightmare you're having with getting your covid jab. Why on earth is it not more straight forward!  This is the last thing you need to be chasing up at the moment.  Hope all you other lovely ladies are ok. 😘 X ... View more

Good luck with your treatment today @Lewy2803.  I'm right with you!  Mine's at 10:30. You made me laugh with your Friar Tuck comment because that's exactly how i've been describing myself!!  Not the best of looks!!  Ask your Nurse to grab you a disposable surgeons theatre cap to protect your scalp. I've been trawling through the paxman website & got loads of tips. I'm thinking that i don't think my cap was tightened properly with the toggle that pulls the crown of the outer cap closer to your skull...Also it advised that if you are in between sizes, ie small & medium, to have a medium silicone inner cap, but with a small outer cap. You don't want to go too small on the inner cap in case it rides up throughout the treatment. All worth a try?? Good luck. Be thinking of you.Xx Am totally agreeing with what you're all saying about lockdown. It has it's positive, but also obviously a great deal of negative & such a shame that every Hospital Trust area is different for what it can provide.  Although i have days where i feel really trapped & frustrated,  i'm also worried about lockdown ending & my kids going back to school. Me & the hubby have spoken a lot about what to do & there's no right answer, but we're pretty sure we're going to keep them off & continue the Home-schooling until my chemo is finished. Last one due 22nd April so that's a very long time!! So sad that my kids will miss out on seeing their friends & running around, but with 30 kids in each class, that's 60 kids & their families that mine will be in contact with. Just too high a risk while i'm on chemo. What a tough time we're all having, which is why it's so lovely to hear from you guys as you really do make me smile. 😘 Chin up chickens!  We'll get through this!!!  Xx ... View more

Morning all, Well it's another one of those random nights where i wake about 4am! (at least it gives me an opportunity to drop into you guys!!) This time it was because i had a bad dream... About being stuck in a shed, in the middle of the town centre where i grew up, with a pack of big brown bears outside & random people from my past in the shed with me! Mind is so weird!! I don't always have bad sleep. Mostly i sleep from 9pm to 6am!  @donkeywoman so pleased you got your Bristol break booked. It's so lovely to have something to look forward to. I do hope all is well with your teeth. That's something that i also worry about - not fear of the dentist, just don't want anything to fall out!! I do try to tell myself not to worry about something until/if it does actually happen! Doesn't always work, but i try!! @Belinda_F huge well done on your final EC last Fri, although a bit of an epic day though!  What treatment have you got next? So pleased you found an online support group. I was invited onto a different one, but just didn't feel ready & i hate Zoom meetings!! I do so wish it could be face to face. I would've gone to one of those. Another downside of this blooming covid. Grrrr! @leianajones glad to hear you've got your wig ordered!  I'm getting more used to wearing mine when going out for a walk. I even wore it indoors for a Valentine meal with hubby & my girls. My eldest only remembered it was my wig after about half hour!  She just thought it was the old me! It's so lovely when your kids do something thoughtful isn't it @Pesto My girls spent the whole day making pompoms to decorate the dining room for the meal. We now have about a million red & pink pompoms in random places!! My youngest also enjoys tickling my bald spot @lewy!  Kids!!  Regarding the covid jab in which arm..i had mastectomy & lymph node clearance from my left side & have a picc line in my right. Dr said picc line arm was best for me & i had no problems. Just a bit of an achy arm for day or so after.  @tennisgirl so glad to hear you're recovering from your surgery & that it hasn't spread to your lymph nodes. Such good news! Fingers crossed for good results from your genome test. Hope #2 went ok yesterday @FlorrieBee & your amended meds are making it a bit easier??   We're on half term now. So pleased not to do Home-schooling for a week!  Just got to find things to keep kids occupied that doesn't involve constantly baking cakes....arghhh!!!  Xxx ... View more

Thanks for website info @leianajones. Had a quick look & seems really good. Will have a proper browse later after Home-schooling.  I've just been for another walk & talk on the beach with a friend. So good to get out & see people, if only one at a time & with no hugs! Forgot the ball for the dog, but at least i had my wig keeping me warm! Frost on the beach!!  Good luck with your antibiotics @Lewy2803. Really hope you feel better. I've not suffered with swollen ankles, not yet anyway!!  I too am having another round of treatment next week (Thursday for me). That'll be the last of the 3 FEC. Onto 3 rounds of Docetaxol after that.  And that was an excellent idea about getting gatekeepers on a whatsapp group to keep people updated.  My situation maybe different to others because i'm regularly seen on the school runs & know a lot of people via the kids. I'm on Facebook but don't often post anything, but i decided to make a post just before i had my surgery in Oct.  It was a summary of my diagnosis & treatment plan. The aim was to do a group message to all those people that i see, but not necessarily want to constantly chat to, if you know what i mean! The response was overwhelming. I really didn't expect the love & support & amazing offers of help. I had people taking my kids out for a play, bringing meals for after surgery, dropping books round. But most importantly, i knew everyone knew & i didn't have to send a million messages or have to explain things. My kids were comfortable with everyone knowing & i believed it gave them the freedom to talk with their friends or teachers , if they wanted to. I have since done a couple more posts, but just when something substantial to tell, like chemo starting, etc. It's a very individual choice. No right or wrong. It is very physically tiring telling people, because it's just not nice giving this kind of news. I was exhausted at the beginning! Don't underestimate the tiredness of the emotions.  Whatever you choose, it's your decision.  😘 xx ... View more

4am & my sleep pattern seems to have gone out the window!!  At least the house is quiet so i can catch up with you ladies.  Went out for an hours walk yesterday with family & dog. Don't know who enjoys running in the sand dunes more, the kids or our crazy spaniel!! Wore my wig & a bobble hat. Looked normal for a while!! I was wary of it blowing off but luckily we remained intact & it was just my overactive imagination!!  So sorry to hear about your wig nightmare @leiana. & on your Birthday too (belated Happy birthday wishes to you 🎂 🎉 ). It's so difficult not being able to just go into a shop & try them on isn't it?  I do hope you find another that you like.  Mine is synthetic, but it's really quite amazing how fab it looks. People can't believe it's a wig!! Also, hope the change in your meds helps bring a less severe reaction to your next round.  @donkeywoman glad to hear you had a better day yesterday & have your vaccine booked too! Woohoo!  Just a thought on when you wore your friends wig...did you wear a little wig cap thing? It's like a cap made of a pair of tights material!  Very thin, but just helps with any itching.  Good luck with your wig @Gelbel. It's a bit trial & error when choosing from online, so don't be afraid to send back until you have something you're happy with. Hope feeling ok today & wooziness clears up a bit. Gifts & kind thoughts from friends are wonderful aren't they! I have felt so overwhelmed sometimes. My step-sister turned up with a beautiful little orchid the other week & it just happened to be when i was feeling low, so her timing was perfect as it really did perk me up...even though we could only chat at a distance from the doorstep!   @Lewy2803 so sorry to hear about your bladder problems. As if you're not going through enough with chemo!  Hope your GP can sort out & you can forget about that side of things. You have enough to deal with!!  My hair is also shedding quite a lot, despite using the cold cap. I'm still going to use it for my next session though. Just been advised to use a disposable surgical theatre cap to protect my scalp. Trouble is you can only buy these in boxes of 100!! Fingers crossed the oncology nurses might be able to swipe a couple!!  @Pesto your reflexology session sounds lush! Was that through Macmillan?  How are you doing following your picc line yesterday @Belinda? Hope it went well & you're feeling ok. Takes a couple of days to get used to, but it's so weird what you just accept as the norm now! Make sure you moisturise your arm that gets covered by the picc sleeve. Mine got very dry & flakey, but after using Aveeno moisturiser every day, it's so much better. That was the moisturiser recommended by BCN for my scar & massaging following my mastectomy. It's good stuff!  I'm off to have my picc line flushed later. Looking forward to getting out!!   Happy Thursday everyone. Xx ... View more

Morning ladies,  Well my house has just about recovered from the chaos of bored kids over the weekend! Thanks for the links for eyebrows @belinda. My wig is from a brand called Amore Rene of Paris. There is a wig shop quite local to me & my oncology team referred me to them. Maybe worth speaking to your team @Lewy2803? They phoned me up & we did everything over the phone, using photos from their website for me to choose. First one got posted back as the colouring was wrong, but happy with 2nd. It should have been about £180, but i didn't have to pay a penny!! Jealous of your video call@Gelbel. That sounds like fun!! You did make me laugh when you said your husband drove straight past you because he didn't like your haircut!! As for meds...i have filgrastin for 7 days after treatment & then not on anything until my next round except for my daily Omeprazole tablet which is a stomach liner. I have started to notice that my mouth feels a bit "furry" though.... Another joyful side effect!!  @donkeywoman definitely a good idea to plan a holiday!!  We've just booked a week in Cornwall for Aug. Can not wait!!! Fingers crossed Boris lets us go!! We don't have any snow!!  I live in Weston-super-mare & snow is a rare occurence!  Might be due some on Thursday though .. Kids are so excited!! We do have a massive beach that we can take dog for walk & kids to run around, which am hugely grateful for during this horrible pandemic! So @Pesto i'll offer to eat chips & donuts for you all!!  Honestly, it's no trouble!! 😂   Xx ... View more

Thanks @Shi & @donkeywoman for tips on eyebrows. I too am a novice with the brows. I just pluck them so they don't meet in the middle & that's it usually!!  Not sure i'm feeling cool about the hair though! Although there were quite a few tears yesterday....I definitely felt happier this morning as i felt like i was more in control. I went out for a walk on the beach with my friend & wore wig & bobble hat. Felt amazingly normal!! Was a bit gross when i took it off as what little hair left was stuck to my head. Not a pretty sight!  Realised i haven't drunk much today... Don't forget to drink your 2l if you can! It helps flush these chemicals through!! Glad your meds working @donkeywoman. Enjoy your restful day. 😘 My kids are baking & making pizza this afternoon while on a Zoom call with friends! What could possibly go wrong!! I'll just go in & tidy the carnage after! 😂   Xx ... View more

Hi everyone,  @Belinda_F a shop full of sweets & crisps sounds like my idea of heaven right now!! This constant need for food whilst also feeling slightly nauseous is weird. My husband seems to have joined in with me but he has no excuse!! Diet starts next year!! 😂   Well my hair doesn't seem to have lasted past my 2nd round unfortunately, despite using the cold cap. I can second guess all the many reasons why i wasn't lucky, but there's no point. I tried my best. I do still have some, but it is so thin & wispy on the crown. Funnily enough the edges around my face seem ok, so i look a little like friar tuck! 🤦‍ ♀️ I decided to cut it shorter, to about 3cm yesterday & i am going to give the cold cap another go. If it enables my hair to start to grow sooner, then it's worth it, i hope. Kids & husband a bit upset as can see my scalp so clearly & it's a very visual reminder of what is going on, so i'm going to find some scarves to wear around house & i have a fabulous wig to wear outside. I do feel more in control now. It felt like the right time. I've just ordered some 40s style spotty hair bands which i might add to a little jersey beanie to make me less of a pea-head! 😂 Time to experiment & play!  Does anybody have any recommendations for eyebrows? Mine are absolutely fine so far, but i do want to be prepared!  I remember someone mentioned 4d eyebrows? But if anyone knows of anything else, brands etc, that would be great. 👍 👍 Hoping you're all feeling ok & manage to enjoy a little sunshine today. Sending you all a little bunch of virtual daffodils to brighten your day. 🌻 🌾 🌼 💐 ☀️ Xx  ... View more

Hello ladies,  Well i've just been trying to catch up with everybodys messages but there has been so much since i last posted!!  So sending all who are feeling rough a great big hug. 💖 After feeling ok following my 2nd treatment last Thurs, i then felt just simply rough on day 5/6. Wasn't actually sick, just low, tired, nauseous, hungry, unsociable. Just a joy really!! I hunkered down in living room in front of fire, while hubby did the Home-schooling & everything else.  I have mainly been obsessing over hair... And now got to the point where i'm fed up & might brave the shave! Cold cap has massively helped,  but my once very thick, wavy hair is now quite thin & i'm leaving more hair around the house than the dog! Don't know whether to continue using cold cap or not. I think it helps the continued growth of hair throughout treatment, but if hair has already fallen out, then how can that be???  I had my covid vaccine on Tuesday. Woohoo!!  Left me with a sore arm. Not horrendous, just felt like when my brother used to give me a dead arm when we were younger!! Ached to lift it. Also had a slight headache. These symptoms were also experienced by friends who aren't going through chemo.  I am so pleased that i'm not the only constant eater!! Crisps or biscuits are perfect... Coconut rings are the surprising fave at the moment. Try it, you'll be surprised!!  I'm off to have my picc line flushed in a bit.  Exciting to get out!!  Ps....Gotta love banana muffins!!!!  Xx  ... View more

Hello ladies,  It's been a few days since i've checked in, but doing ok since round 2 on Thursday. I'm on FEC-T as well @FlorrieBee. What an awful reaction you've had to deal with. Fingers crossed they can help with your meds for the next one. Good to hear you seem to be coping. One tough cookie!!  I actually feel better after this round than i did the first for some reason!  Still waking up at night due to steroids, but i'm weaning off them by Monday so am anticipating a rough few days if anything like last time. At least i'm prepared & know it does get better after few days.  Home-schooling has been tiring, but school have offered to lend a laptop so we're not having complaints over who has the best computer at home!!  Hair started to shed a little bit a couple of days ago, but so far the cold cap seems to be working & i haven't had to shave armpits either!  Got to take the perks where you can!  Keep up with the fluids ladies. It's hard, but worth it. I too have a swollen tummy but hopefully should only last a few days. Eating little & often (maybe too often!!).  Nibble on a Ginger nut, got sugar free Werthers Originals, chopped apricots & prunes for sprinkling over cereal (good for toilet issues!), jacobs crackers etc. Sticking to healthy but smaller portion meals too.  Hope you all ok. Sounds like it's a tough & tiring time for some of you. Remember to be kind to yourself & rest when you can. I watched a lovely film on BBC iplayer the other night...The Light Between Oceans. Read the book as part of my Book Club last year & film definitely lives up to the book. I never usually get to watch my kind of films so waking up at 2am has it's advantages too!!  Sending you all big hugs. 😘   Xx  ... View more

Sorry to hear your Dad has just been through chemo too @Erin 35. It's true that each of our paths through treatment & how we react are completely different.  I was also told that FEC-T would usually lead to hair loss, which would be fairly quickly.  I used the cold cap & had my first tiny bit of shedding this morning. Literally just one little snippet of hair. I've stuck it in my journal. Like i kept my girls first hair when babies!!  The rest of my head is thick & wavy, as usual.  I have however noticed over the past few days quite a few from my ladys bits have adorned the bottom of the shower!!  The first few days after my first treatment i had trouble sleeping because i had steroids to stop the nausea. They worked a treat, but i was up for quite a while through the night. Good time to watch whatever i like on the telly!  I was off most of the assortment of meds by day 5 & that's when i felt a bit low & like i was in a bubble of doom! My own little miserable world! But literally a day or so later i felt so much more like myself. I was so relieved to feel "normal" again, but you do have to make sure you remember that you're not quite "normal" yet! Can tire quite easily. The kids,  whilst themselves are tiring, they are also a wonderful distraction. I believe it's because of this that im fortunate not to have had too much trouble sleeping at night!  Some nights i go to bed at the same time as them! Wake up early, but that gives me some "quiet time" before the day begins....and the joy of Home-schooling!!!  Xx  ... View more

Hello lovely ladies,  It does sound as though there are many of us having a busy week this week!  Hope you're feeling ok after your first chemo @Lewy2803. It's a kind of relief to get 1st one done. Keep notes of how you're feeling every day, then you might have a better idea for when you come to your next rounds. You can see that you really do get good days. That knowledge can help you get through any low days. 💖 @Erin 35 I'm also having FEC-T. Got my 2nd round tomorrow.  I have 2 daughters, (8+10) so understand a little about hair loss fears, although mine are that bit older so am able to have a proper conversation i guess. It's so hard knowing if they actually understand what's going on, but at the same time you don't want to overload them with information that might scare them. It's so true,  you do have to have some PMA when sometimes you just don't feel it. It's ok to say to them that you don't want to lose your hair & that it might make you sad, but i believe if they see your own strength in dealing with it, then it shows them that it's ok. I tell mine that if it does all fall out, it's just a blip & it WILL grow back. I'm still Mummy... & i can still tell them off if they're naughty!! 😉 It's also true that kids are so very adaptable & will come to accept changes a lot quicker than we can!!  I have my wig arriving this week. It's the 2nd one i've tried. First one made me feel 'not me'. So hard choosing colouring online! Covid has denied us the novelty of going to a shop to try on!  Hair is emotional. It's such a visual reminder of what we're dealing with. Don't ever feel bad about getting upset about it. Get those tears out, lift your chin up & smile. We can do this. 😘 And @Belinda_F thank you for tip about walnuts!  I've also just bought some of the Boots nasal spray. 😁 I have taken comfort in a peanut butter sandwich just recently!!  Haven't had them since i was little!!  If you can't have the odd treat now, when can you!! 😂   Hope your PICC line apt goes well later@donkeywoman. Thinking of you.  Xx       ... View more

@tennisgirl Nothing sounds stupid when you're talking about worries & fears....and we all have them on here!  Once you get there, the nurses are usually pretty amazing & make you feel so much calmer. When i went in for my mastectomy, i was ok until they asked me my name & DOB. I burst into tears & did a MASSIVE snort!  I was mortified! 🤦‍ ♀️   So my advice is to try not to snort,  as that will be your overriding memory!!! Sending you lots of luck for a speedy recovery & some good results for you.  😘   ... View more

Hi ladies,  Completely agree with you @Erin 35 about having a break from cancer talk. That's exactly what i did over the weekend! Nice not to think about it for a while. 😁 Morning @donkeywoman. Sorry you're not feeling great today. I'm the same as you & i do seem to be finding that i have some really good, robust days, so i carry on like i used to do & it's fab..but then realise the next day that it's taken the wind out of my sails a bit & i'm then quite pooped!! It's about getting a balance i suppose. I'll probably just get it sussed & then chemo will be over!! Just a note before you have your picc line on Wed... Make sure you take paracetamol half hour before. Just helps.  Hi @Lewy2803,  i too am having the cold cap. Got my 2nd round of FEC-T on Thursday. So far so good & totally agree with @Belinda_F as i found it completely doable. Just don't forget your hat for after!  I took in a fluffy blanket, wore several vests & short sleeved tshirt, with cardigan draped over shoulders. I am losing hair, but not from my head!!  I've also had a mastectomy in Oct & like @donkeywoman found my recovery straightforward too.  It's all about one step, one day at a time. 💖   Right, i can hear child #1 crying & my husband discussing arctic explorers so think i'd better pop my head back into Home-schooling..... 🤦‍ ♀️ Have a good day everyone. 😘 xx   ... View more

Thanks @donkeywoman. 😁   I've left them to it before i explode!! Cuppa & a biscuit in peace....  We're on to series 3 of Spiral. Loving it.  Enjoy your trip out, even if just to hospital!  Got to take what we can at the moment!!!  Xx  ... View more

Morning, Slept ok last night & feeling ok today, although a bit quick to tears... But i think that's Home-schooling! The technology aspect is more frustrating than the kids!! On the plus side, my girls received a Blue Peter badge each yesterday for some artwork they sent in before Christmas!  They were thrilled to bits!! 💖 Sorry you're feeling rubbish @Belinda_F, but a short walk in the sunshine might well lift your spirits. If that fails, your banana bread sounds like a perfect plan!! Pretty sure it has invisible calories when you're feeling rubbish!  😉 Sometimes it does feel like a long haul, but every single day & every single treatment is another step forward though our battle. Keep ticking these milestones off & keep strong. 💪 😍 I too nervously washed my hair today. So far, so good...  My wig arrived yesterday. I got myself into a tizzy about trying it on. It doesn't look like me, but the colour is wrong so i will exchange it. Just such a shame can't try them on in the shop.  I'll have a look at boxset recommendations & chuck in a couple of my own....The Queen & also Hunters on Netflix.  Xx   ... View more

Hi ladies,  Sorry to hear you've not been feeling great @Belinda_F. It's rubbish when your body is tired but your head is saying "come on, just this one more thing to achieve today & then you can sit down!!" 🤦‍ ♀️ We must learn to stop & not beat ourselves up about it...but it's difficult!!  I, like you @donkeywoman felt a bit rubbish today. Glad you feeling better after fresh air. I couldn't get to sleep last night (after my mammoth sleep the night before!) so today woke up tired, if you know what i mean?? Trying to get my 8 year old to make any sense whilst talking about her maths was a very draining challenge!!!  😕   I've not had too many problems with taste so far, just went off tea & cucumber for the first week post chemo, but ok now so am eating everything as normal. I've just been given a cookery book specifically for chemo, which looks quite good. It's called "Cooking for chemo" by Ryan Callahan. It's not just got recipes, but more about how to deal with side effects of chemo on your tastes & how to adapt.  Had a quick look at your link to Boots First Defence @Belinda_F & looks really interesting!  Will check that out more later.  Hope everyone else is doing ok & coping with Home-schooling, kids & chemo jammies. 😁   Xxx ... View more