Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi all @Michelle21 Hi Michelle, Just to say I'm thinking of you.  I hope you enjoy your break and that the Oncologist on Friday is helpful.  I keep coming back to the fact that during chemo, it's v unlikely for cancer to grow so that's 4 months out of the 6 where it wouldn't have spread.  My oncologist also said that it works for a time after chemo too (my hair has only started growing 6 weeks after chemo).  Do take care of yourself - I'm thinking of you x @gardengirl200 Hi Fleur - good luck with the endoscopy and neck scan tomorrow x  @amy46  Sorry to hear you've been poorly - I haven't any experience of Carboplatin but my paxitacel side effects seemed to get better after the first one - I hope this will be the case for you and you feel better soon.   I'm over halfway through radiotherapy, which seems fine, no side effects so far.  I'm seeing my Oncologist on Monday for a review and to talk about my concerns about my stomach and rib pain and to ask for a scan.  I'm doing alot of gardening to keep my mind off it - digging new veg beds - it's lovely when the suns out.  Lots of love to all Nicki xxx    ... View more

There an interesting thread on a possible new drug in the v early stages of development called erso.  There's a link to a petition too in case anyone fancies signing.  I've just signed and shared it.  the petition is here  https://www.change.org/p/bayer-possible-breast-cancer-cure-drug   and the drug is mentioned here https://breastcancernow.org/about-us/media/statements/we-respond-new-study-use-erso-shrink-oestrogen-receptor-positive-breast-cancer-in-mice Gives one hope! Xxx ... View more

Thank you for sharing, that sounds v promising and gives one hope.  I've signed and shared the petition.   ... View more

Just a quick hello from me, I've been reading all your posts this last week and have been thinking of you all, sorry I don't post much.   @Love running Well done for doing your interview and talking about the experience (you are so brave) - it must have been a hard thing to do.  I also wanted to say you looked fabulous in the photo!!!  - really glamourous!  I hope all goes well for you when you see your mum and sister - do take good care of yourself.   @Purpledaze I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis - that seems so unfair.  I do hope you are both holding up and that he gets a treatment plan soon.  It's such a hard road sometimes, but you will get through it, as you say one day at a time.  I'm wishing you all the very best. @Michelle21 I'm so sorry that you've been feeling so bad and having a friend pass away too, that must have been so hard for you, I'm sending all of my love.  I too have dark thoughts and struggle with them, I have been utterly convinced I have liver or bone cancer and I think the fear takes over sometimes.  I'm waiting to hear from the Oncology team about my stomach issues but they want me to wait until after radiotherapy.  I'm also not good at insisting on treatment.  You are a very strong and brave person and things will get better.  Hoping that you have a lovely trip away.   @gardengirl200 Just wanted to say really good luck with the endoscopy, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.  Your comment on cancer not spreading during chemo made me feel better about my own worries - thank you.   @Sammy73 Well done for getting to the end of chemo!  and I hope you enjoy your time off before radiotherapy and have a lovely time on your trip away!  Well done!  Lots of love to all of you inspiring people Nicki xxx ... View more

@Love running Really good luck today!! I'm so happy for you that you've reached the last one finally and I hope minimal side effects.  You've done so well!  Looking forward to hearing how you are soon.  Take care 😍 @Michelle21 I do love that poem - especially the bit about life getting so small - that certainly happened to me and I think I'm still there, although railing against it and forcing myself out now.  The more I do the better I feel.  I live by the sea and went for a dip on Saturday for the first time which felt so liberating.  Then went outdoor swimming on Sunday!  So a really good weekend! Re my stomach issue, this was exacerbated by the chemo but was there before - they told me it was due to my anxiety and wasn't a red flag issue.  It feels like I have something inside under both my ribs clenching my muscles, my ribs also hurt both sides.  I had a diagnostic scan when I was first diagnosed which showed no spread, so the Oncologists don't want to do any more scans because they don't think I could have cancer elsewhere.  They are discussed it again this week and they might offer me a bone scan.   I've also been to my GP about it and because of the cancer diagnosis they are reluctant to put me forward for any other investigations because I'm still having cancer treatment.  I guess I just need to rule out the cancer.  I totally agree about not wanting to add another problem into the mix and if left to myself would probably put my head in the sand until radiotherapy is over, but my family are keen for me to investigate it just in case it's something really serious.  They are very supportive.   I'm really glad that your stomach issue is getting a bit better and resolves itself soon - our bodies have been under such stress, and for you the operation too - it's definitely going to take time for everything to settle down. Hope all is well for you this week 😍. Love to all of you beautiful people Nicki xxx ... View more

@gardengirl200 Ha ha!  I hope I find my next glass of wine delicious - I'm going to try again tonight and hope it tastes better.  My taste buds have been gradually getting back to normal - coffee and tea actually taste nice now yay! so I've gone back to my caffeine habit this week.  Amazing how happy it makes me!   Re work I don't think you're being a light weight at all!!! I can only go back to work because my job is in no way as pressurised or needing of brain power as yours.  I give social care advice to people but haven't had any client work since my diagnosis so I'm just helping out with administration.  I am concerned about going back to client work though as the chemo really made me muddle headed and yes my short term memory has been shocking!  This does seem to be getting better though - its been nearly 4 weeks since chemo and I feel much more on the ball.  I seem to be able to concentrate more now but my short term memory is definitely not as good as it was.  I can't hold information in my head so readily so I'm tending to write down anything that's important in case I forget it.  The Oncologist said that it just takes time to get better and that the chemotherapy drugs are still working in your body a month after your last one.  So I'm crossing my fingers I'll gradually go back to normal.    I've agreed with work that I'll try to get back to normal hours/work after radiotherapy.  I'm so glad that your partners haven't put you under pressure to go back and great that you are still getting paid.  I got 6 weeks full pay and then 6 weeks half - not great!  I think it's really important that we focus on ourselves, physically and mentally as much as we can.  Luckily my colleagues have been really helpful and concerned about me so I don't feel the pressure to perform at the moment.     How your radiotherapy going? I hope ok!  I understand about your concerns about your throat, all aches and pains are a real worry.  As your breast care nurse says it's bound to be fine.  I have worries about my stomach and ribs and have asked my Oncologist for a scan.  They've told me the stomach issue isn't a concern as bc doesn't go into the stomach area, but apparently it can go into the bone, so I may be offered a bone scan.  I'm going to try and not worry too much about it.   @Michelle21 I'm so glad that all is okay for you post operation.  You will be rocking that model look!  I'm hoping that you are recuperating well and sending you lots of love and positive vibes.  I does make me feel more confident going out for a run (well walk and gentle jog really) and I'm definitely feeling more confident about my new look.  I think we should be really proud of ourselves for going through all of this and still managing to cope and get out there.  I'm amazed that I'm still standing and not in a heap somewhere to be honest.   @Love running thank you! It always makes me feel stronger and more able to cope reading yours and the groups posts.   I think a really good idea that you use your experience to help others go through chemo/the strains of cancer through training/running - I'd definitely join your groups and wish there was one in my area!  I hope you enjoy your weekend away with your friend and the non alcoholic drinks taste like the finest champagne!   Hi @delly @TicTok @amy46 @Purpledaze @@and anyone else I might have missed (sorry) - I hope your week has gone well, treatments are not too bad and you have relaxing weekends as much as is possible.    Lots of love to you all Nicki xxx                  ... View more

Hope everyone is having a good weekend, it's nearly 3 weeks since my last chemo and I'm feeling so much better.  I've been motivated by you all to try running and have started the couch to 5K, which feels really positive - it's been really good to get me out of the house as well as I've become a bit of a hermit (not a good thing).  It's made a real difference reading your positive posts - thank you!  @Love running yes, that's exactly how I felt when my colleague was tearful with me - the shock they felt seeing me and the confirmation that I look different.   It did really shake my confidence (and I do struggle with confidence generally).  However, I've now got over the first couple of team meetings on zoom - I've tried to be resolutely positive and they've now started to treat me normally which is a relief.  It's actually made me feel a bit more bullish about my lack of hair and I've started to leave my hair coverings off.  I've got a v thin covering of grey hair with shiny bald patches on my crown, and if people don't like it I don't really care!  So... I'm embracing my new look with a bit more bravery now.   @Michelle21 really good luck tomorrow with your op, I will be thinking of you and hope it all goes smoothly.  @gardengirl200 Yes!  I found it really upsetting - reading it after the last chemo was v stressful - she has a manic tone which really brought me down as well, and like you I need to believe in my Oncologists and conventional medicine.  I've got the Complete Guide to Breast Cancer and have re-read that - much more balanced and objective.  I've done the same as you, foodwise although have been enjoying tea and coffee again after not being able to stand it during chemo.  Also had a glass of red wine for the first time in months last night - actually didn't taste nice which was a disappointment!   I start radiotherapy on the 27th - good luck for you tomorrow!  I'm started letrozole also this week.   @Sammy73  thank you for your kind words, I'm so sorry to hear about your shingles, I hope you're okay!  Awful to have to postpone any treatment, I know how emotional that is.  It did feel so amazing to do my last one and get the hideous pic line out - hoping this last week wizzes by for you!  Thank you again everyone! for all of your bravery and your wise words, I hope everything is going as well as it can be for you all.   Lots of love Nicki xxx   ... View more

Thanks @Michelle21 I've had an up and down time since my last chemo.  Initially euphoric - as yes, I've finished!  However, I started reading a book I'd ordered some time ago (Jane Mclelland's How to Starve Your Cancer) - which was a pretty stressful read and really brought me down again.  The book is all about changing your lifestyle to be the healthiest you can be, with a pretty stringent change of lifestyle.  It's also quite difficult to read as uses a lot of scientific jargon.  It made me think about the future post diagnosis and how although I want to put everything behind me and go back to normal, things have changed and I can't go back.     I had a haircut at the cancer centre yesterday, they were so kind to me I couldn't stop crying in the car driving home.  It's the first time I've done that properly since the early days of diagnosis, it felt like I've not really come to terms with the whole thing. I also cried today at my radiotherapy planning appointment which is really out of character as I really try to keep it together generally.  It's probably a really good time to let it out this way, and the radiotherapy nurses were lovely to me.     Sorry, I'm rambling a bit, I guess I think it's such a traumatic thing to go through, I can't quite get my head around it.   I hope everyone is okay and you all have a lovely weekend 😍    Lots of love Nickixxx   ... View more

Hi all @Michelle21 I'm so glad your last one went okay and I hope all is going well this week re side effects.  Did they manage to sort out your date for surgery?  Very powerful what you and @Love running say about how it has effected you and your real feelings versus what we say to others.  I don't share how I truly feel with friends or family (apart from my sister) to protect them but also because I find it difficult to cope with their reaction.  I'm more able to share with my oldest friends but even then don't want to burden them.  I had my first zoom with a colleague from work last week (my first time 'seeing' anyone from work). This colleague is really lovely but she was tearful as soon as she saw my new look (ie scarf) and I ended up minimising all the side effects, saying how easy I had found it, how it wasn't that bad and leaving out all the bad bits to make her feel better.  It makes me slightly concerned about seeing all the other colleagues at our team meeting - I find it difficult when people are tearful.  You are both right, we have had to dig deep to find the inner strength to cope with this.     @TicTok I'm so sorry to hear about your aches - I have had bad pain and aches on Pacitaxel - but codeine did the trick for me along with hot water bottles - I feel for you having to go in the MRI machine - I haven't had to do that only the CT scan.  I hope it goes well.  Big virtual hug Love to all of you wonderful brave women xxx ... View more

Hi all @Michelle21 I have one more to go on Monday cross fingers.  I've not been well with a bad throat from last week so really hope it goes ahead.  Sorry to hear that you have a little lymphedema, it's really good to know that it's only slight and manageable - I agree I'm also keen to look healthy to others and non vulnerable.  I've had all my nodes out on one arm so know I could get this.  I'm keen to get back into exercise but will be careful and keep an eye on it.  I'm sorry I don't keep an eye on on posts much but are you having your last one today?  If so, really good luck!!!   @Poacher65 Well done on finishing this bit of the treatment! and hoping that the MRI and surgery goes smoothly for you!  It is a massive thing to have done - you should be really proud (I know I will be after my last one).  I'm too looking forward to the PIC line going and having a proper soak - with book, bath oils and maybe small glass of bubby.  I hope your first one is lovely!  I had my surgery before (including full node removal) - I did feel really looked after and the surgeons explained to me that they do it so many times, they become expert at the procedure and are very careful.  Looking forward to hearing how it goes, take care of yourself  @Sammy73 it sounds stressful (and a bit unfair) to have to make the decision yourself, really good luck with whatever you decide.  I'm sorry not to be more helpful - I had all my nodes removed and have radiotherapy in October which doesn't include my under arm. So far they haven't given me any choices about anything, just said what needs to be done.      @Love running It's always so lovely to read your thoughts - I'm glad that the kids are back at school for you and you have some time to yourself!  My son goes back to Uni this weekend - I'll really miss him but not the amount of cooking I do - it's an opportunity to try and get healthy meals into him as on his own he tends to survive on chips and pizza, but he does eat vast amounts.  Daughter goes back to school in September, in a way not looking forward to it as she's already stressing about the work but I will enjoy time on my own.   @TicTok what a stress!  I've had to wait for my chemo to arrive once - was very stressful thinking it might not come!  Hope that your scan goes well and shows a well subdued Boris!  I hope everyone else is okay and managing - It feels so weird to be nearly at the end of this part of the hideousness - I veer from feeling anxious about the lack of protection I feel the chemo has given me, and feeling buoyant at being able to get back to some kind of normality.  I've started planning a few days away in Sept and Oct - one night camping in September and 5 day in Norfolk to see our son at Uni in October.  Keep remembering that obviously I have radiotherapy and hormone treatment and who knows how I'll fare with that but I'm going to assume it's okay.  Lots of love to you all xxx   ... View more

@Sammy73 💐💐💐 yes it's a real bastard isn't it!  I'm so sorry that it's been harsh for you.  I couldn't believe how awful the first one was, but second one was definitely not so bad for me.  I'm at the chemo centre now waiting for the third one.  I also find it draining having to be positive to everyone, they all want good news rather than how terrible it can be.  I just seem to cope by ticking the sessions and appointments off my list. Thank you everyone for your support and lovely comments, I'm sorry I don't respond as much, I do read everything though.  I don't seem to have to good days and then spend these working or with the kids. Love to everyone XXX ❤️😘       ... View more

@Michelle21 I'm so pleased for you getting your results!  You are a very brave person coping with having blood transfusions!  It is indeed like climbing a mountain!  Lots of love xxx ... View more

@Love running I'm so sorry you weren't able to have your last treatment 💐 I know what a disappointment that will have been.   A big virtual hug from me ❤️. I really hope that you can have this soon XXX   ... View more

Just to say thanks @AmeliaEdwards for your positive post about letrozole.  I've nearly finished chemo and about to start letrozole, it's good to hear positive things about it.  I'm also grade 3 with lymphs involved so have to take all treatment offered.  Also good luck @Wendyosul with your decision ❤️ x ... View more

Hiya everyone I hope that the weekend is going well for you all 😍.  I've been out of action for a bit after my 2nd pacitaxel joint pain but no shooting pains like the first one and I've been able to walk properly which has been a real relief.  I've been very tired though - so have spent days sitting on the sofa watching the olympics and sleeping lots!  After my throat infection and rash I've become a bit wary of getting too close to anyone with a cold or anything as it took hold so quickly, so am becoming even more of a hermit!  I'm not sure about going on the camping trip I'd planned as it's going to be really full of people and children, so my partner might just go with the kids.  However I only have 2 more pacitaxels to go so the end is in sight - I can't believe it, it feels like I've been doing this routine for ever.  I'm seeing the Oncologist on Monday to see how I'm going and discuss next steps - this always makes me feel very anxious as it makes it more real for me, and the oncologist is quite serious.  I had the surgery first so it will be radiology next then hormone treatment.  I'm going to try not to worry.   @Michelle21 Thanks so much😍, I have four weeks left too, so end date is 31st August (cross fingers that doesn't change) so just after your end date.   I know what you mean about feeling guilty about putting your kids through this - I feel very bad about my daughter (14) as I'm living a very hermit like life at the moment (as I just feel so tired so not doing much and also I'm trying to avoid infections after my last one).    My son (20) is coming back from Uni this weekend, it's the first time he'll have seen me without eyelashes and hair - however he's not very observant so probably won't notice anyway 😂 @Sammy73 the aches and pains for me started on day 3 to day 8/9, with the worse days being day 4 and 5, but that's just for me - I know other people on taxol regimes haven't had this pain and so hopefully you won't.  Also, my 2nd pacitaxel has not been as painful as the first (maybe my body getting used to it) and also the co-codamol definitely did get rid of the pain, so even if you do have pain you will be able to get rid of it.  Sorry, I hope that's reassuring, I didn't want you to worry about it.   Really good luck with your first one 😍 @Poacher65 so sorry to hear about your side effects - really good luck for your last one on the 13th!  😍 @noodledoodle  I'll be finishing around the same time as you and then onto radiotherapy, as you say another chapter in this surreal experience❤️ @Karden Wonderful to hear that all is okay and radiotherapy went well - cross fingers no late side effects for you and that the hormone medication works out well.  It's wonderful to hear that your hair is growing too, that makes me feel really positive, take care 😍 @Love running Your holiday sounds amazing! I bet it's beautiful in Sweden.  I've haven't really done much at all this summer apart from going in the garden and no camping yet but hope to make up for that next summer.  I love the idea of picking wild fruit too!  I also like your and @Michelle21 mantras for trying not to worry - it's a constant battle for me as I'm a worrier and tend to plan long term rather than living for the moment.  I'm looking into the moving forward course locally and also there's a local keep fit course I can join (for people with cancer) which I'm going to do.  I think I'll need things to do to keep myself busy.  Much love to everyone - you are all doing amazingly!  I can't believe how much life has changed since March - it just shows how adaptable we are having to deal with something like this.  Anyway, take care all you lovely inspirational women! Have a lovely Saturday night!  xxx   ... View more

Hi @Sammy73 so sorry to hear about your holiday!  that's so gutting.  I think great idea to bring the treatment forward - are you having pacitaxel? (sorry I can't remember), I had my first one two weeks ago and wasn't prepared for the aches and pains, only had paracetamol and ibuprofen in the house which weren't effective at all, and the GP prescribed me with some co-codamol which really did seem to cut through the pain along with hot water bottles.  Definitely sounds a good idea to have some in stock.   My throat infection is much better - I'm at the end of the antibiotics now and can eat normal food, but have also had a rash mainly on arms and legs (to add to my already glamorous look ha ha!) which looks like hives (raised red blotches).  The GP thinks it's due to the infection and he's given me a strong anti histamine and steriod cream which has stopped the itching (thankfully!)  It's amazing I never used to take any medicine really or go to the doctors, but I'm a regular there now.  I hope that everyone is okay lots of love to you all 😍 xxx ... View more

Hi @Michelle21 I'm sorry I'd forgotten this is the second time (my brain isn't very good at remembering things at the moment).  You sound a very positive person and you are right it seems to be very much an emotional battle as well as physical.  I often feel I'm not winning staying positive and find I spend most of the days distracting myself to stop my worries rather than face them.  I think your approach of thinking through things logically and finding inner strength is spot on, I read someone else say to focus on 'facts rather than feelings' and I have this written down on my phone when I find myself getting anxious.  Lots of love xxx ... View more

Hi @TicTok it sounds like you are having a very full on time looking after ill parents! and grandson!!! Hope your 4th chemo goes well on thursday - it does feel great to get over halfway!  Have a good week and look after yourself, it's easy to spread yourself too thin looking after others, take care 😍 ... View more

Hi @Purpledaze I'm really sorry to hear about the crashing and burning on paciltaxel.  I am the same!!! I had my first one last Monday and have had terrible aches and pains all week - paracetamol and ibuprofen just didn't touch it and I had to get codeine from the GP to take the pain away.  I just hope that this is a blip for us both and it doesn't happen next time.  I have three more to go.  I also got a bad throat infection and am on antibiotics to get rid of it.  Maybe that added to the aches, not sure.  The GP reminded me that we are "being poisoned" and it's going to take it's toil.  At least we are all over the halfway mark now which does feel good.  I've got camping planned for mid August and also work dates planned in, but the chemo nurses said that I might have to just cancel things and just focus on getting through chemo.  They are probably right, but a bit depressing.  Lots of love to everyone 😍xxx ... View more

Hi @Sammy73 so sorry to hear about your partner getting covid!  What a scary thing for you!!! something you really don't need!  Glad to hear that you are still negative and lets hope it stays that way!  Hoping your partner feels better really soon 😍 ... View more