Hi lemonsqueezy, I wouldn't call myself brave at all lol. Like you i have been bricking it. I decided that as i couldn't change the fact i had to have the op (never had one b4) then i would try to change my mindset so I've spent the last few weeks repeatedly going over positive mantras, researching all the positives and just totally immersing myself in this to stifle my anxieties. I'm amazed I've got this far without having a melt down over it but somehow it's worked. Having said that how well it will all work when I'm faced with everything on Friday, I don't know!! Just clicked on the link to your blog. Love the way you write and It felt like I was pretty much reading my own road to diagnosis. Also I've never felt why me either as i felt it was as likely to be me as anyone else. The most overwhelming bit for me so far was at the beginning of of diagnosis and thinking i just don't want to have to go through all this -the stress of appointments, op, treatment and so on. I've had to cx various activities planned throughout the summer so i can spend my time sorting this out, no doubt this will be much the same for us all. The upside of course is, there are treatments, ops and people who can help us get it treated. If I get through my op etc without a melt down I'm changing my name from zippy to Rocky 🥊 🤣 💪 xx
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