Breast Cancer Now Forum

@Ginvincible  It’s just so heartwarming to think that I’ve given you some encouragement and reassurance. And in a few weeks time you’ll be writing your update and reaching out to someone else. It’s like we’re all in a relay race - handing on the baton (of love and support) to the next member of the team!  It is a scary time but the waiting is the worst bit.  I’m here if you need me and happy if you want to private message me about anything. The ladies before me held my hand too and now it’s my turn. xxxx ... View more

Hello @Fiveoclocksomewhere   Thanks for the tag - and gentle reminder that I should be posting my update! So here I am, out on the other side, day 10 post-op, and all is good 😊   Firstly, I must thank all you brave warriors who did this before me and provided SO MUCH comfort, support, advice, encouragement and reassurance to help me through. You were all amazing. Thank you. Secondly, to all the newbies joining this scary journey that they never thought they have been on - you will be absolutely fine. Stay strong and be positive.  The worst bit is definitely the week or so before the surgery. Fear of the unknown. Your mind is in turmoil. Keep busy, catch up with friends and enjoy life. Going into hospital is scary especially when you’re on your own and knowing there’s no visitors because of Covid.  Don’t pack too much - you don’t need half of it. Usual toiletries, dressing gown and slippers, phone charger with a LONG lead, and your bras and knickers as recommended (couple of each) and a button up nightshirt for when you come out of the hospital gowns. The best thing I took (and definitely my top tip!) was a large sports top drinking bottle (with an integral straw) that you can drink from lying down without any strain whatsoever, and without any spills! I also had a facial mist spray which was refreshing and cooling. I packed a little sports rucksack and made sure all my ‘essentials’ were in it before I went to theatre - all the things I thought I might want in the first day or two without having to ask the nurses to scavenge through my suitcase every time. (Water bottle, facial mist, phone and charger, headphones, lip balm, baby wipes, tissues, book, notebook and pen, specs, boiled sweets and flapjacks) So I arrived at the hospital at 7.10 am and was in theatre by 8.30 so there was no dithering about. Everyone was very kind and calming. Plastic surgeon drew all over my boobs and stomach - looked like a child’s treasure map! (X marks the spot!)  And then gown and compression socks and off to theatre. Chat to a lovely nurse and anaesthetist while they prepare everything and then ‘whoosh’ you’re fast asleep.  Next thing they’re waking you up and they’re telling you that you’ve had your operation and you’re asking what time it is and working out how long you’ve been asleep! There’s lots of dressings, drain in my left boob, drain in my right side, catheter, oxygen cannula in my nostrils. But it’s all ok. I could even manage to text my husband, sons and a couple of friends to say I’d done it! The nurses are checking you every 15 minutes and that’s ok too. It’s quite reassuring to be so well looked after. Drink loads of water - as much as you can (especially while you’ve got the catheter in and don’t have to worry about getting up). You’re wrapped in a heated plastic inflatable cover - it’s very hot but not unpleasant. Take all the painkillers that are offered - don’t wait till till you think you need them as that means you’re in pain. And if you need extra in between just ask. It is a painful operation and I’ll be honest, the first couple of days are tough, but work with the nurses to make sure you have good pain control. It can be done! You will need the laxatives too though (and fig rolls and dried apricots also help!) Had my op on Thursday and was sitting out in a chair for a couple of hours on Friday afternoon. Couldn’t have even imagined that on Friday morning. Had this absolute fear that my body would rip in half at every movement - once you realise it hasn’t you can then concentrate on your breathing and you’re little shuffling movements guided by the nurses who know exactly what they’re doing. Trust them.  So Friday afternoon the heated cover goes, the oxygen goes and I’m eating shepherds pie for supper.  Saturday morning out comes the breast drain and the catheter. Going to the toilet the first time was like running the London Marathon (not that I have) - it was a challenge and a struggle but a huge sense of achievement. It got a little bit easier every time.  Sunday they said I could go home but I did decline their offer. I was geared up to go home Mon/Tue and had support in place. I didn’t want to jeopardise anything and felt I needed to be stronger, more mobile and pain to be fully under control. Stand your ground if you need to - don’t push yourself. I felt much better on Monday and was ready to go home.  You need lots of pillows and cushions for the car journey.  And then you go home, go to bed and get looked after. It’s your turn now after all those years of looking after everyone else. I’m lucky to have family - get a friend to stay a few days if you haven’t.  I came home with abdominal drain in (called her Daisy) and kept her in a cloth shoulder bag next to me. Went back to the hospital on Thursday and had dressings changed and the drain removed. Felt much better once the drain was gone. Pain relief was immediate. Have a bit of a wound infection so on antibiotics for that and I go back again next Wednesday.  But I’ve done it. Not only has the wretched cancer been removed (first priority) but looks like I have a neat firm boob and a tighter flatter tummy than I’ve ever had!  Still taking things one day at a time and enjoying being kind to myself and NOT feeling guilty. (Ignoring the gentle bickering between my husband and sons about ‘whose turn it is’, ‘whose mess it is’ and chuckling quietly that they’ll just have to get on with it!) Be brave. Stay strong. Think positive xxx   ... View more

My operation is looming (just 4 sleeps away now) but I’ve taken on everyone’s advice. I’m keeping busy, catching up with friends, enjoying long walks and eating healthy food. Most importantly I’m being kind to myself and just taking one day at a time. I think I have everything ready - my hospital ‘bag’ is now a suitcase! Button up PJs, reinforced granny knickers, front fastening bras…. (It’s hard to know how many of each I should take in though and having no visitors means they can’t bring stuff in!) I’ve got my lovely mastectomy pillow (thank you Jen’s Friends), couple of books, headphones, phone charger, dried apricots and fig rolls (!), water bottle, and all the usual ‘going away’ bits.  And I’ve just got to keep being positive and strong like you amazing brave ladies who’ve already done this 💖 I had a lovely dream last night which I’ll share with you. I dreamt that I had woken up after my operation and my lovely surgeon was smiling at me telling me it was all over. She guided my hands to feel my reconstructed boob and scars (which is a bit crazy as they would all be covered up with dressings and there would be drains in!). Everything felt so perfect and there was no pain.  A very strange dream but I did feel a huge sense of relief. Hopefully this means everything is going to be ok….   xxx ... View more

Hayley - I’ve sent you a private message. xx ... View more

Hi Hayley Thanks for reaching out to me in these scary times. Let’s be buddies and get ourselves through this….. You’ve already had a longer tougher journey than me due to Covid but our emotions will be very similar with 9/9 getting closer.  My leap into the world of breast cancer began in June this year after I noticed a dimple under my left breast (just like a thumbprint in a ball of plasticine) Within a couple of weeks I’d been diagnosed with invasive lobular breast cancer (ER/PR positive and HER negative) and told I’d need mastectomy as 3 tumours in different places. Had sentinel lymph node biopsy a few weeks ago and so relieved that the results came back clear. Won’t know about future treatment (radiotherapy/chemo) until the pathology results after the mastectomy. And then wow, yes, huge decision making about reconstruction when I can’t even decide what flavour yoghurt to buy!  What an emotional rollercoaster! Some days just felt like ‘get the cancer out and be done with’. Plastic surgeon has been very patient and understanding and has reassured me that I’m strong enough and fit enough to go through this and that I’ll be very well looked after so I’m going to focus on those words.  I’m also looking ahead to when I can write of my experience and reassure others on here like all the brave ladies before us! Sending you a big virtual hug from London. We can do this! Jackie xx ... View more

Thanks for the amazing support and advice. I’m looking forward to being at the other end of this now and chuckling out loud that I might even change my name to Bertie Bassett! I will add yoga pants, fig rolls and liquorice all sorts to my shopping list! xx ... View more

Thank you all for your positive encouragement. Much appreciated - and such a boost just when it’s needed! I realise my expectations for recovery after my lymph node surgery last week were just way too high and I was really hard on myself. So hopefully that’s a big lesson learned before the ‘big op’ in September.  I just have to slow down and be kind to myself!  (Easier said than done!) Hoping and praying that I’ll be back here offering words of reassurance to others in a couple of months time.  I’ve had moments when I’ve just thought ‘get rid of the cancer and forget about bothering with reconstruction’ as it sometimes feels overwhelming - but I guess that’s normal??  There’s so much to take in and process and I guess it’s only 6 weeks since my whole world was turned upside down.  Spent yesterday evening ordering button up nightshirts, post-surgery bras and shapewear granny knickers! Was surprised to see that Asda had a good range of stuff that was cheap and cheerful but had good reviews. Any other tips and advice would be very welcome!  ... View more

Hi Vanmack I’m re-reading your positive message now that my surgery is getting closer. I’d even ‘forgotten’ that I’d asked the question about breast reduction and surprised myself that was 1st July - a whole 6 weeks ago on this rollercoaster journey! I’m having mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction on 9th September. And yes, the surgeon was very understanding and supportive about my request for reduction.  I had sentinel lymph node excision and biopsy last Wednesday as they wanted that done separately and before the main op in case it changes my treatment plan. I was very bruised and sore after the op and it took longer to get over than I expected although I may have been too hard on myself. It took 5 nights to realise that sleeping with a pillow under my shoulder meant I woke up without severe pain and stiffness in my arm! Wish I’d found out sooner. I hope my experience in September will be as positive as yours. I’ve got 4 weeks to get my act together physically, emotionally and practically.  Thank you. Good luck everyone  ... View more

It’s definitely one hell of a roller coaster ride! Just got to hold on tight! I got my biopsy results 28th June. Going for SLNB today and mastectomy provisionally 9th September. My husband and 2 grown up sons knew what was happening from the start and I’m so glad we had talked about everything before I even got my diagnosis as it wasn’t too much of a shock. I too was then worrying about telling people. Looking back I wish I had given myself some more time. I think I was in shock the first week or so I was very emotional and sobbed uncontrollably when I told my poor brother. A week later, once I’d had a chance to process everything, I felt much stronger and it was much easier telling a couple of very close friends. My advice would be to be kind to yourself, give yourself time and don’t rush to tell people if you don’t feel you’re ready to - you’re probably not. Big hugs and positive vibes - be comforted by this forum and all the lovely ladies on the same journey. None of us would have chosen to be on this path but we have strength in numbers and we can do this! 💪  xx ... View more

Hi Jane That week of waiting for the biopsy results was definitely the worst so far. Remember it so clearly - my first appointment in breast clinic was 21st of June.  This forum was a lifesaver - sharing all my fears with complete strangers and reading their stories was truly comforting. My consultant told me it was going to be a very long week and to be kind to myself. Brilliant advice. And he said “we don’t know what we’re dealing with until we KNOW what we’re dealing with” and that’s so very true.  I share that with you and send positive vibes - and a big hug! xx ... View more

It honestly does start to feel a bit better once you have a few appointments lined up and a bit of a plan. Somehow makes you feel more in control again. At the beginning it just feels like jumping up out of a plane without a parachute.  This forum is wonderful - strength and support and encouragement 💪 xx ... View more

Hi again Louby Lou Another coincidence for us - 7th June was the day I had a telephone consultation with my GP to discuss the ‘dimple’ I’d noticed in my breast.   J x ... View more

I’ve been thinking you all day too. This journey is such a nightmare for all of us. But I do think this forum is just bloody brilliant! Try to keep distracted and not let your mind go into overdrive.  And please avoid that nasty Dr Google because he’s not very nice.  And hey ladies - we can beat this! We are the three musketeers!!  xxxx ... View more

Awwww Justine - thinking of you today and sending a big hug. The waiting game is the worst bit. Once you actually know what you’re dealing with you feel so much more in control again. And one thing that I’ve learned is that no one can possibly have any idea what all this feels like unless they’ve been through it themselves and that’s why this forum is so valuable.  At my first appointment at the breast clinic (June 21st) to look at the little dimple I had noticed, I saw the consultant then had mammograms, ultrasounds and biopsies. I knew they had found 3 tumours but the consultant was really keen to say that we don’t know what we’re dealing with until we KNOW what we’re dealing with, and those words really stuck with me. The following week was the longest ever but this forum was a huge comfort. I went back on Monday 28th to hear I had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy. And you know what? That was fine because at last I knew what was happening. My lymph nodes appear to be clear from the ultrasound but will have a sentinel node biopsy to make sure. Lots of appointments all lined up now. And surgery beginning of August. The whole team are just so kind and reassuring. My emotions are on a bit of a rollercoaster but I just have to remember to slow down and allow my body to deal with all this.  Life can be tough but we can be tougher!!! Let us know how you get on. xx ... View more

So heartwarming to hear of your positive experiences here. Hadn’t appreciated that immediate reconstruction wasn’t being done in the peak of Covid. Sorry for those who have to undergo a second op. Something else I should be grateful for in the scheme of things. I’ll be having mastectomy and reconstruction in the next few weeks but I’m feeling really cheeky as I want to find out if the reconstruction can be smaller and my ‘normal’ breast reduced to match. Is that too much to ask for? Feel guilty thinking like this when my priority is obviously to get rid of my breast cancer. Just wondered if it might be an option though.  ... View more

Really appreciate reading about your positive experience Fiveoclock somewhere. Thank you for that. You’ve given me confidence. x ... View more

You’re very welcome. I don’t know where I’d be without this forum. I found it almost by accident when I was ‘exploring’ the internet before my appointment at the breast clinic. It was incredibly reassuring and informative to read the comments. And it kept me busy enough to keep away from Dr Google! After my appointment and biopsies when I felt so overwhelmed with anxiety, and dreading my results, I joined the forum and ‘became’ one of those contributors but I felt like I was just joining some kind of a club.  And now, 2 weeks later, I’ve joined the next rank up - a group of incredibly brave and strong women who are sharing my journey into the world of beating breast cancer. It’s so heartwarming that they completely understand because no-one can possibly know how this feels until you’ve been there.  The forum is giving me everything I need right now - support, encouragement, advice, hope, friendship and love. Thank you.  ... View more

Hi again everyone. I’ve just calmly re-read all of these messages and the care and support is just amazing. We truly are ‘all in the same boat’ at different stages. And the boat is definitely on a giant rollercoaster. I felt numb when I got my diagnosis on Monday and then completely panic stricken on Tuesday but yesterday and today feeling calmer and stronger.  There is just so much to process and deal with but I just need to slow down and pace myself. I’m telling myself I’m not preparing to do a 100m sprint - more like a triathlon, so I’m  going to take it slow and remember to breathe! Good luck Tizzy for tomorrow. And hugs to everyone.  ... View more

Hi again Louby Lou now that we have both moved on to the next chapter! And all the others on the same journey. It’s so reassuring not to feel alone. Mine is also lobular cancer but as it’s in 3 places, I’ll be having a mastectomy. Waiting on HER2 result and sentinel lymph node biopsy to see if I will need chemotherapy before surgery. So the waiting game isn’t really over yet but I feel positive.  I’m seeing plastic surgeon next week to talk about reconstruction and then back on the 12th for the rest of my results and to start planning.  Positive vibes to my fellow warriors…… x ... View more